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Chapter 31. Mary Lowther Feels her Way.
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That afternoon there came down to the parsonage a note from Mary to the Captain, asking her lover to meet her, and walk with her before dinner. He met her, and they took their accustomed stroll along the towing-path and into the fields. Mary had thought much of her aunt’s words before the note was written, and had a fixed2 purpose of her own in view. It was true enough that though she loved this man with all her heart and soul, so loved him that she could not look forward to life apart from him without seeing that such life would be a great blank, yet she was aware that she hardly knew him. We are apt to suppose that love should follow personal acquaintance; and yet love at third sight is probably as common as any love at all, and it takes a great many sights before one human being can know another. Years are wanted to make a friendship, but days suffice for men and women to get married. Mary was, after a fashion, aware that she had been too quick in giving away her heart, and that now, when the gift had been made in full, it became her business to learn what sort of man was he to whom she had given it. And it was not only his nature as it affected3 her, but his nature as it affected himself that she must study. She did not doubt but that he was good, and true, and noble-minded; but it might be possible that a man good, true, and noble-minded, might have lived with so many indulgences around him as to be unable to achieve the constancy of heart which would be necessary for such a life as that which would be now before them if they married. She had told him that he should decide for himself and for her also,—thus throwing upon him the responsibility, and throwing upon him also, very probably, the necessity of a sacrifice. She had meant to be generous and trusting; but it might be that of all courses that which she had adopted was the least generous. In order that she might put this wrong right, if there were a wrong, she had asked him to come and walk with her. They met at the usual spot, and she put her hand through his arm with her accustomed smile, leaning upon him somewhat heavily for a minute, as girls do when they want to show that they claim the arm that they lean on as their own.
“Have you told Parson John?” said Mary.
“Oh, yes.”
“And what does he say?”
“Just what a crabbed4, crafty5
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1
mar
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vt.破坏,毁坏,弄糟 | |
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2
fixed
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adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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3
affected
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adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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4
crabbed
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adj.脾气坏的;易怒的;(指字迹)难辨认的;(字迹等)难辨认的v.捕蟹( crab的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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5
crafty
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adj.狡猾的,诡诈的 | |
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6
eloquent
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adj.雄辩的,口才流利的;明白显示出的 | |
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7
wrath
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n.愤怒,愤慨,暴怒 | |
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8
explicit
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adj.详述的,明确的;坦率的;显然的 | |
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9
profess
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v.声称,冒称,以...为业,正式接受入教,表明信仰 | |
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10
determined
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adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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11
dreaded
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adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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