Margaret bolted the door on the inside. Then she would have kissed her sister, but Helen, in a dignified² voice, that came strangely from her, said:

"Convenient! You did not tell me that the books were unpacked³. I have found nearly everything that I want.

"I told you nothing that was true."

"It has been a great surprise, certainly. Has Aunt Juley been ill?"

"Helen, you wouldn't think I'd invent that?"

"I suppose not," said Helen, turning away, and crying a very little. "But one loses faith in everything after this."

"We thought it was illness, but even then--I haven't behaved worthily⁴."

Helen selected another book.

"I ought not to have consulted anyone. What would our father have thought of me?"

She did not think of questioning her sister, nor of rebuking⁵ her. Both might be necessary in the future, but she had first to purge⁶ a greater crime than any that Helen could have committed--that want of confidence that is the work of the devil.

"Yes, I am annoyed," replied Helen. "My wishes should have been respected. I would have gone through this meeting if it was necessary, but after Aunt Juley recovered, it was not necessary. Planning my life, as I now have to do--"

"Come away from those books," called Margaret. "Helen, do talk to me."

"I was just saying that I have stopped living haphazard⁷. One can't go through a great deal of"--she missed out the noun--"without planning one's actions in advance. I am going to have a child in June, and in the first place conversations, discussions, excitement, are not good for me. I will go through them if necessary, but only then. In the second place I have no right to trouble people. I cannot fit in with England as I know it. I have done something that the English never pardon. It would not be right for them to pardon it. So I must live where I am not known."

"But why didn't you tell me, dearest?"

"Yes," replied Helen

点击收听单词发音  

1 mar
vt.破坏，毁坏，弄糟
参考例句：
It was not the custom for elderly people to mar the picnics with their presence.大人们照例不参加这样的野餐以免扫兴。 Such a marriage might mar your career.这样的婚姻说不定会毁了你的一生。

2 dignified
a.可敬的，高贵的
参考例句：
Throughout his trial he maintained a dignified silence. 在整个审讯过程中，他始终沉默以保持尊严。 He always strikes such a dignified pose before his girlfriend. 他总是在女友面前摆出这种庄严的姿态。

3 unpacked
v.从（包裹等）中取出（所装的东西），打开行李取出( unpack的过去式和过去分词 )；拆包；解除…的负担；吐露（心事等）
参考例句：
I unpacked my bags as soon as I arrived. 我一到达就打开行李，整理衣物。 Our guide unpacked a picnic of ham sandwiches and offered us tea. 我们的导游打开装着火腿三明治的野餐盒，并给我们倒了些茶水。 来自辞典例句

4 worthily
重要地，可敬地，正当地
参考例句：
Many daughters have done worthily, But you surpass them all. 29行事有才德的女子很多，惟独你超过众人。 Then as my gift, which your true love has worthily purchased, take mydaughter. 那么，就作为我的礼物，把我的女儿接受下来吧--这也是你的真实爱情应得的报偿。

5 rebuking
责难或指责( rebuke的现在分词 )
参考例句：
Rebuking people who disagree with them. 指责和自己意见不同的人。 We could hear the director rebuking Jim for being late from work again. 我们听得见主任在斥辞责吉姆上班又迟到了。

6 purge
n.整肃，清除，泻药，净化；vt.净化，清除，摆脱；vi.清除，通便，腹泻，变得清洁
参考例句：
The new president carried out a purge of disloyal army officers.新总统对不忠诚的军官进行了清洗。 The mayoral candidate has promised to purge the police department.市长候选人答应清洗警察部门。

7 haphazard
adj.无计划的，随意的，杂乱无章的
参考例句：
The town grew in a haphazard way.这城镇无计划地随意发展。 He regrerted his haphazard remarks.他悔不该随口说出那些评论话。

8 judicially
依法判决地，公平地
参考例句：
Geoffrey approached the line of horses and glanced judicially down the row. 杰弗里走进那栏马，用审视的目的目光一匹接一匹地望去。 Not all judicially created laws are based on statutory or constitutional interpretation. 并不是所有的司法机关创制的法都以是以成文法或宪法的解释为基础的。

9 decided
adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的
参考例句：
This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。 There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

10 journalism
n.新闻工作，报业
参考例句：
He's a teacher but he does some journalism on the side.他是教师，可还兼职做一些新闻工作。 He had an aptitude for journalism.他有从事新闻工作的才能。

11 extraordinarily
adv.格外地；极端地
参考例句：
She is an extraordinarily beautiful girl.她是个美丽非凡的姑娘。 The sea was extraordinarily calm that morning.那天清晨，大海出奇地宁静。

12 feminist
adj.主张男女平等的，女权主义的
参考例句：
She followed the feminist movement.她支持女权运动。 From then on,feminist studies on literature boomed.从那时起，男女平等受教育的现象开始迅速兴起。

13 futures
n.期货，期货交易
参考例句：
He continued his operations in cotton futures.他继续进行棉花期货交易。 Cotton futures are selling at high prices.棉花期货交易的卖价是很高的。

14 miserably
adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地
参考例句：
The little girl was wailing miserably. 那小女孩难过得号啕大哭。 It was drizzling, and miserably cold and damp. 外面下着毛毛细雨，天气又冷又湿，令人难受。 来自《简明英汉词典》

15 appalling
adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的
参考例句：
The search was hampered by appalling weather conditions.恶劣的天气妨碍了搜寻工作。 Nothing can extenuate such appalling behaviour.这种骇人听闻的行径罪无可恕。

16 innocence
n.无罪；天真；无害
参考例句：
There was a touching air of innocence about the boy.这个男孩有一种令人感动的天真神情。 The accused man proved his innocence of the crime.被告人经证实无罪。

17 guilt
n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责
参考例句：
She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。 Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。

18 potent
adj.强有力的，有权势的；有效力的
参考例句：
The medicine had a potent effect on your disease.这药物对你的病疗效很大。 We must account of his potent influence.我们必须考虑他的强有力的影响。

19 annoyance
n.恼怒，生气，烦恼
参考例句：
Why do you always take your annoyance out on me?为什么你不高兴时总是对我出气？ I felt annoyance at being teased.我恼恨别人取笑我。

20 displeased
a.不快的
参考例句：
The old man was displeased and darted an angry look at me. 老人不高兴了，瞪了我一眼。 He was displeased about the whole affair. 他对整个事情感到很不高兴。

21 inclination
n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好
参考例句：
She greeted us with a slight inclination of the head.她微微点头向我们致意。 I did not feel the slightest inclination to hurry.我没有丝毫着急的意思。

22 mania
n.疯狂；躁狂症，狂热，癖好
参考例句：
Football mania is sweeping the country.足球热正风靡全国。 Collecting small items can easily become a mania.收藏零星物品往往容易变成一种癖好。

23 perfectly
adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地
参考例句：
The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。 Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

24 salvation
n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困
参考例句：
Salvation lay in political reform.解救办法在于政治改革。 Christians hope and pray for salvation.基督教徒希望并祈祷灵魂得救。

25 tolled
鸣钟（toll的过去式与过去分词形式）
参考例句：
Bells were tolled all over the country at the King's death. 全国为国王之死而鸣钟。 The church bell tolled the hour. 教堂的钟声报时。

26 sipped
v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
He sipped his coffee pleasurably. 他怡然地品味着咖啡。 I sipped the hot chocolate she had made. 我小口喝着她调制的巧克力热饮。 来自辞典例句

27 rustling
n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的
参考例句：
the sound of the trees rustling in the breeze 树木在微风中发出的沙沙声 the soft rustling of leaves 树叶柔和的沙沙声

28 memorable
adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的
参考例句：
This was indeed the most memorable day of my life.这的确是我一生中最值得怀念的日子。 The veteran soldier has fought many memorable battles.这个老兵参加过许多难忘的战斗。

29 westward
n.西方，西部；adj.西方的，向西的；adv.向西
参考例句：
We live on the westward slope of the hill.我们住在这座山的西山坡。 Explore westward or wherever.向西或到什么别的地方去勘探。

30 hearsay
n.谣传，风闻
参考例句：
They started to piece the story together from hearsay.他们开始根据传闻把事情的经过一点点拼湊起来。 You are only supposing this on hearsay.You have no proof.你只是根据传闻想像而已，并没有证据。

31 grumbled
抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声
参考例句：
He grumbled at the low pay offered to him. 他抱怨给他的工资低。 The heat was sweltering, and the men grumbled fiercely over their work. 天热得让人发昏，水手们边干活边发着牢骚。

32 disquieting
adj.令人不安的，令人不平静的v.使不安，使忧虑，使烦恼( disquiet的现在分词 )
参考例句：
The news from the African front was disquieting in the extreme. 非洲前线的消息极其令人不安。 来自英汉文学 That locality was always vaguely disquieting, even in the broad glare of afternoon. 那一带地方一向隐隐约约使人感到心神不安甚至在下午耀眼的阳光里也一样。 来自辞典例句