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RACHEL
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SUNDAY, AUGUST 18, 2013
AFTERNOON
In the living room, we sit in a little triangle: Tom onthe sofa, the adoring father and dutiful husband,daughter on his lap, wife at his side. And the ex-wifeopposite, sipping1 her tea. Very civilized2. I’m sitting inthe leather armchair that we bought from Heal’s justafter we got married—it was the first piece offurniture we got as a married couple: soft tan butteryleather, expensive, luxurious3. I remember how excitedI was when it was delivered. I remember curling upin it, feeling safe and happy, thinking, This is whatmarriage is—safe, warm, comfortable.
Tom is watching me, his brow knitted. He’s workingout what to do, how to fix things. He’s not worriedabout Anna, I can see that. I’m the problem.
“She was a bit like you,” he says all of a sudden.
He leans back on the sofa, shifting his daughter to amore comfortable position on his lap. “Well, she wasand she wasn’t. She had that thing?.?.?. messy, youknow. I can’t resist that.” He grins at me. “Knight inshining armour4, me.”
“You’re no one’s knight,” I say quietly.
“Ah, Rach, don’t be like that. Don’t you remember?
You all sad, because Daddy’s died, and just wantingsomeone to come home to, someone to love you? Igave you all that. I made you feel safe. Then youdecided to piss it all away, but you can’t blame mefor that.”
“I can blame you for a lot of things, Tom.”
“No, no.” He wags a finger at me. “Let’s not startrewriting history. I was good to you. Sometimes?.?.?.
well, sometimes you forced my hand. But I was goodto you. I took care of you,” he says, and it’s onlythen that it really registers: he lies to himself the wayhe lies to me. He believes this. He actually believesthat he was good to me.
The child starts to wail5 suddenly and loudly, andAnna gets abruptly6 to her feet.
“I need to change her,” she says“Not now.”
“She’s wet, Tom. She needs changing. Don’t becruel.”
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1
sipping
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| v.小口喝,呷,抿( sip的现在分词 ) | |
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2
civilized
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| a.有教养的,文雅的 | |
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luxurious
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| adj.精美而昂贵的;豪华的 | |
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4
armour
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| (=armor)n.盔甲;装甲部队 | |
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5
wail
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| vt./vi.大声哀号,恸哭;呼啸,尖啸 | |
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6
abruptly
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| adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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7
babbling
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| n.胡说,婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 );作潺潺声(如流水);含糊不清地说话;泄漏秘密 | |
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8
stinking
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| adj.臭的,烂醉的,讨厌的v.散发出恶臭( stink的现在分词 );发臭味;名声臭;糟透 | |
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appease
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| v.安抚,缓和,平息,满足 | |
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whined
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| v.哀号( whine的过去式和过去分词 );哀诉,诉怨 | |
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smack
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| vt.拍,打,掴;咂嘴;vi.含有…意味;n.拍 | |
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jaw
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| n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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flinch
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| v.畏缩,退缩 | |
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hunches
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| 预感,直觉( hunch的名词复数 ) | |
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whining
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| n. 抱怨,牢骚 v. 哭诉,发牢骚 | |
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exhales
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| v.呼出,发散出( exhale的第三人称单数 );吐出(肺中的空气、烟等),呼气 | |
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ragged
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| adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的 | |
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scudding
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| n.刮面v.(尤指船、舰或云彩)笔直、高速而平稳地移动( scud的现在分词 ) | |
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latch
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| n.门闩,窗闩;弹簧锁 | |
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crumple
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| v.把...弄皱,满是皱痕,压碎,崩溃 | |
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hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯,耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 );[建筑学]屋脊;臀围(尺寸);臀部…的 | |
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tugging
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| n.牵引感v.用力拉,使劲拉,猛扯( tug的现在分词 ) | |
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wailing
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| v.哭叫,哀号( wail的现在分词 );沱 | |
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blur
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| n.模糊不清的事物;vt.使模糊,使看不清楚 | |
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nausea
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| n.作呕,恶心;极端的憎恶(或厌恶) | |
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