Windsor Castle July 1172 I sat in royal splendor¹ at table with all the great lords of the kingdom arrayed about me like stars. Some sat at the high table with me, but many seats stood vacant: my son’s, which would not be filled that day, and also Alais’ chair, and the king’s. I called for my wine, because my steward² had not brought it as he always did. There was some tumult³ among the house servants; it seemed my silver ewer⁴ had been mislaid, so that my wine was brought to me in a vessel⁵ of gold. I raised one hand, and had my steward taste my wine there in front of me. When he did not fall retching, I let him pour it into the golden goblet⁶ that stood by It was good to drink from gold, better than silver, except that I had not called for it, which meant that someone else had. I drank my wine, but the food sat untouched on the trencher before me. All the hall waited, as I did, for the king to come in and begin the feast. No one would eat a grape or a morsel⁷ of squab until the king had come and seated himself among us, and raised the first bite to his own lips. There was laughter in the hall that night, but to my court-trained ears, the sound was false, and rang with fear. I wondered if they feared for Richard still, for another confrontation⁸ between the king and my son. Richard was tucked safe away, half a day’s ride from court. He would stay there until I called for him. I had yet to make his peace with the king. So something else kept the courtiers on edge. The Earl of Hertford raised his glass to me in salute⁹, but would not meet my eyes. One of my own ladies laughed behind her hand. It was then that I began to know that whatever these people feared had something to do with me. I felt but did not see the eyes of the lower tables raised to me. They stared at me, and whispered, but whenever I turned my head their way, as if to ask one of my ladies a question, the courtiers at the lower tables shifted their gaze from mine, as if I might read their lips, or their thoughts.

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