MATTHEWS WORDS HIT ME like a stone wall, collapsing¹ over me. A son...

For three years Sophie and I had tried to conceive, to no result. We had wanted a child more than anything. We even spoke² of it that last night we were together.I had left her , and never even knew I had a son.

I turned toward Matthew, a flicker³ of hope alive in my heart.

He isdead , Hugh. He wasn't even a year old. The bastards⁴ killed him that same night. They tore him from Sophie's arms as she tried to flee.

A wall of tears rushed at my eyes. A son... A son I would never know or hold. I had been through the fiercest battles, the worst of all horrors. But nothing could have prepared me for this.

How? I muttered. How did my son die?

I can't even say it. Matthew's face was ashen⁵. Just believe me when I say that he is dead.

I repeated my question, this time fixed⁶ upon his eyes.How ?

His voice was so quiet. As they threw Sophie's lifeless body over his mount, the leader said, We have no room for such a toy. Toss him in the flames.'

I felt a pressure building up, an anger clawing at me as if my insides were ripping through my skin. God had smiled on us after all that time. He had blessed us with a son. Now He spat⁷ at me with the sharpest mockery.

How could I have left them? How could I still be alive if they were dead?

I looked at Matthew and asked, What was his name?

Matthew swallowed. She named him Phillipe.

I felt a lump catch in my throat. Phillipe was the name of the goliard who had raised me. It was her tribute to me.Sweet Sophie ,you are gone. My son too... I felt the urge to die right there amid the charred⁸ ash, the ruins of my old life.

Hugh, Matthew said, lifting me up, you have to come. He led me up the trail to a

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1 collapsing
压扁[平]，毁坏，断裂
参考例句：
Rescuers used props to stop the roof of the tunnel collapsing. 救援人员用支柱防止隧道顶塌陷。 The rocks were folded by collapsing into the center of the trough. 岩石由于坍陷进入凹槽的中心而发生褶皱。

2 spoke
n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说
参考例句：
They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。 The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

3 flicker
vi./n.闪烁，摇曳，闪现
参考例句：
There was a flicker of lights coming from the abandoned house.这所废弃的房屋中有灯光闪烁。 At first,the flame may be a small flicker,barely shining.开始时，光辉可能是微弱地忽隐忽现，几乎并不灿烂。

4 bastards
私生子( bastard的名词复数 )； 坏蛋； 讨厌的事物； 麻烦事 （认为别人走运或不幸时说）家伙
参考例句：
Those bastards don't care a damn about the welfare of the factory! 这批狗养的，不顾大局！ 来自子夜部分 Let the first bastards to find out be the goddam Germans. 就让那些混账的德国佬去做最先发现的倒霉鬼吧。 来自演讲部分

5 ashen
adj.灰的
参考例句：
His face was ashen and wet with sweat.他面如土色，汗如雨下。 Her ashen face showed how much the news had shocked her.她灰白的脸显示出那消息使她多么震惊。

6 fixed
adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的
参考例句：
Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？ Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

7 spat
n.口角，掌击；v.发出呼噜呼噜声
参考例句：
Her parents always have spats.她的父母经常有些小的口角。 There is only a spat between the brother and sister.那只是兄妹间的小吵小闹。

8 charred
v.把…烧成炭( char的过去式)；烧焦
参考例句：
the charred remains of a burnt-out car 被烧焦的轿车残骸 The intensity of the explosion is recorded on the charred tree trunks. 那些烧焦的树干表明爆炸的强烈。 来自《简明英汉词典》

9 knoll
n.小山，小丘
参考例句：
Silver had terrible hard work getting up the knoll.对于希尔弗来说，爬上那小山丘真不是件容易事。 He crawled up a small knoll and surveyed the prospect.他慢腾腾地登上一个小丘，看了看周围的地形。

10 slate
n.板岩，石板，石片，石板色，候选人名单；adj.暗蓝灰色的，含板岩的；vt.用石板覆盖，痛打，提名，预订
参考例句：
The nominating committee laid its slate before the board.提名委员会把候选人名单提交全体委员会讨论。 What kind of job uses stained wood and slate? 什么工作会接触木头污浊和石板呢？

11 shroud
n.裹尸布，寿衣；罩，幕；vt.覆盖，隐藏
参考例句：
His past was enveloped in a shroud of mystery.他的过去被裹上一层神秘色彩。 How can I do under shroud of a dark sky?在黑暗的天空的笼罩下，我该怎么做呢？

12 pouch
n.小袋，小包，囊状袋；vt.装...入袋中，用袋运输；vi.用袋送信件
参考例句：
He was going to make a tobacco pouch out of them. 他要用它们缝制一个烟草袋。 The old man is always carrying a tobacco pouch with him.这老汉总是随身带着烟袋。