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CHAPTER XVII Good-Bye
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Arthur Fletcher received his brother's teaching as true, and took his brother's advice in good part;—so that, before the morning following, he had resolved that however deep the wound might be, he would so live before the world, that the world should not see his wound. What people already knew they must know,—but they should learn nothing further either by words or signs from him. He would, as he had said to his brother, "have it out with Emily"; and then, if she told him plainly that she loved the man, he would bid her adieu, simply expressing regret that their course for life should be divided. He was confident that she would tell him the entire truth. She would be restrained neither by false modesty1, nor by any assumed unwillingness2 to discuss her own affairs with a friend so true to her as he had been. He knew her well enough to be sure that she recognised the value of his love though she could not bring herself to accept it. There are rejected lovers who, merely because they are lovers, become subject to the scorn and even to the disgust of the girls they love. But again there are men who, even when they are rejected, are almost loved, who are considered to be worthy4 of all reverence5, almost of worship;—and yet the worshippers will not love them. Not analysing all this, but somewhat conscious of the light in which this girl regarded him, he knew that what he might say would be treated with deference6. As to shaking her,—as to talking her out of one purpose and into another,—that to him did not for a moment seem to be practicable. There was no hope of that. He hardly knew why he should endeavour to say a word to her before he left Wharton. And yet he felt that it must be said. Were he to allow her to be married to this man, without any further previous word between them, it would appear that he had resolved to quarrel with her for ever. But now, at this very moment of time, as he lay in his bed, as he dressed himself in the morning, as he sauntered about among the new hay-stacks with his pipe in his mouth after breakfast, he came to some conclusion in his mind very much averse7
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1
modesty
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n.谦逊,虚心,端庄,稳重,羞怯,朴素 | |
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2
unwillingness
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n. 不愿意,不情愿 | |
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3
mere
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adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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4
worthy
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adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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5
reverence
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n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬 | |
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6
deference
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n.尊重,顺从;敬意 | |
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7
averse
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adj.厌恶的;反对的,不乐意的 | |
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8
begotten
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v.为…之生父( beget的过去分词 );产生,引起 | |
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9
longing
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n.(for)渴望 | |
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10
lessened
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减少的,减弱的 | |
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11
interfere
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v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
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12
speculation
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n.思索,沉思;猜测;投机 | |
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ridicule
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v.讥讽,挖苦;n.嘲弄 | |
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14
entirely
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ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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15
ripple
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n.涟波,涟漪,波纹,粗钢梳;vt.使...起涟漪,使起波纹; vi.呈波浪状,起伏前进 | |
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16
bosom
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n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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17
reconciliation
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n.和解,和谐,一致 | |
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18
grudged
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怀恨(grudge的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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19
revert
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v.恢复,复归,回到 | |
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20
perplexed
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adj.不知所措的 | |
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