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VOL. III. CHAPTER I. "I WILL COME BACK AS I WENT."
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While Lord Hampstead's party were at Gorse Hall, some weeks before poor Walker's accident, there came a letter from George Roden to Lady Frances, and she, when she reached Hendon Hall, found a second. Both these letters, or parts of them, shall be here given, as they will tell all that need be added to what is already known of the story of the man, and will explain to the reader the cause and manner of action which he adopted.
Rome,
January 30th, 18—.
Dearest Fanny,—
I wonder whether it will seem as odd to you to receive a letter from me written at Rome as it is to me to write it. Our letters hitherto have been very few in number, and have only declared that in spite of obstacles we shall always love each other. I have never before had anything in truth to tell you; but now I have so much that I do not know how to begin or how to go on with it. But it must be written, as there is much that will interest you as my dearest friend, and much also that will concern yourself should you ever become my wife. It may be that a point will arise as to which you and your friends,—your father, for instance, and your brother,—will feel yourselves entitled to have a voice in deciding. It may be quite possible that your judgment1, or, at any rate, that of your friends, may differ from my own. Should it be so I cannot say that I shall be prepared to yield; but I will, at any rate, enable you to submit the case to them with all fairness.
I have told you more than once how little I have known of my own family,—that I have known indeed nothing. My mother has seemed to me to be perversely2 determined3 not to tell me all that which I will acknowledge I have thought that I ought to know. But with equal perversity4 I have refrained from asking questions on a subject of which I think I should have been told everything without questioning. And I am a man not curious by nature as to the past. I am more anxious as to what I may do myself than as to what others of my family may have done before me.
When, however, my mother asked me to go with her to Italy, it was manifest that her journey had reference to her former life. I knew from circumstances which could not be hidden from me,—from her knowledge, for instance, of Italian, and from some
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1
judgment
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n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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2
perversely
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adv. 倔强地 | |
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3
determined
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adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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4
perversity
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n.任性;刚愎自用 | |
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relics
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[pl.]n.遗物,遗迹,遗产;遗体,尸骸 | |
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esteem
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n.尊敬,尊重;vt.尊重,敬重;把…看作 | |
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fully
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adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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absurdity
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n.荒谬,愚蠢;谬论 | |
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9
spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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10
vaguely
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adv.含糊地,暖昧地 | |
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persiflage
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n.戏弄;挖苦 | |
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12
alluded
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提及,暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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apparently
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adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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affected
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adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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procure
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vt.获得,取得,促成;vi.拉皮条 | |
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purport
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n.意义,要旨,大要;v.意味著,做为...要旨,要领是... | |
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contented
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adj.满意的,安心的,知足的 | |
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exacting
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adj.苛求的,要求严格的 | |
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19
justified
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a.正当的,有理的 | |
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20
repudiating
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v.(正式地)否认( repudiate的现在分词 );拒绝接受;拒绝与…往来;拒不履行(法律义务) | |
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favourable
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adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
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unreasonable
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adj.不讲道理的,不合情理的,过度的 | |
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unwilling
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adj.不情愿的 | |
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uncommon
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adj.罕见的,非凡的,不平常的 | |
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secrecy
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n.秘密,保密,隐蔽 | |
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entirely
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ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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specially
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adv.特定地;特殊地;明确地 | |
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ridicule
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v.讥讽,挖苦;n.嘲弄 | |
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catching
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adj.易传染的,有魅力的,迷人的,接住 | |
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salmon
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n.鲑,大马哈鱼,橙红色的 | |
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divulged
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v.吐露,泄露( divulge的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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premier
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adj.首要的;n.总理,首相 | |
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radicals
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n.激进分子( radical的名词复数 );根基;基本原理;[数学]根数 | |
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