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CHAPTER IX Miss Mackenzie's Philosophy
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Miss Mackenzie remained quiet in her room for two days after her return before she went out to see anybody. These last Christmas weeks had certainly been the most eventful period of her life, and there was very much of which it was necessary that she should think. She had, she thought, made up her mind to refuse her cousin's offer; but the deed was not yet done. She had to think of the mode in which she must do it; and she could not but remember, also, that she might still change her mind in that matter if she pleased. The anger produced in her by Lady Ball's claim, as it were, to her fortune, had almost evaporated; but the memory of her cousin's story of his troubles was still fresh. "I have a hard time of it sometimes, I can tell you." Those words and others of the same kind were the arguments which had moved her, and made her try to think that she could love him. Then she remembered his bald head and the weary, careworn1 look about his eyes, and his little intermittent2 talk, addressed chiefly to his mother, about the money-market,—little speeches made as he would sit with the newspaper in his hand:
"The Confederate loan isn't so bad, after all. I wish I'd taken a few."
"You know you'd never have slept if you had," Lady Ball would answer.
All this Miss Mackenzie now turned in her mind, and asked herself whether she could be happy in hearing such speeches for the remainder of her life.
"It is not as if you two were young people, and wanted to be billing and cooing," Lady Ball had said to her the same evening.
Miss Mackenzie, as she thought of this, was not so sure that Lady Ball was right. Why should she not want billing and cooing as well as another? It was natural that a woman should want some of it in her life, and she had had none of it yet. She had had a lover, certainly, but there had been no billing and cooing with him. Nothing of that kind had been possible in her brother Walter's house.
And then the question naturally arose to her whether her aunt had treated her justly in bracketing her with John Ball in that matter of age. John Ball was ten years her senior; and ten years, she knew, was a very proper difference between a man and his wife. She was by no means inclined to plead, even to herself, that she was too young to marry her cousin; there was nothing in their ages to interfere3, if the match was in other respects suitable. But still, was not he old for his age, and was not she young for hers? And if she should ultimately resolve to devote herself and what she had left of youth to his children and his welfare, should not the sacrifice be recognised? Had Lady Ball done well to speak of her as she certainly might well speak of him? Was she beyond all
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1
careworn
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adj.疲倦的,饱经忧患的 | |
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intermittent
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adj.间歇的,断断续续的 | |
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interfere
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v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
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aptitude
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n.(学习方面的)才能,资质,天资 | |
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bosom
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n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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invaluable
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adj.无价的,非常宝贵的,极为贵重的 | |
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discriminate
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v.区别,辨别,区分;有区别地对待 | |
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dross
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n.渣滓;无用之物 | |
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qualified
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adj.合格的,有资格的,胜任的,有限制的 | |
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retired
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adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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thereby
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adv.因此,从而 | |
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squint
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v. 使变斜视眼, 斜视, 眯眼看, 偏移, 窥视; n. 斜视, 斜孔小窗; adj. 斜视的, 斜的 | |
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paragon
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n.模范,典型 | |
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displeased
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a.不快的 | |
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jack
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n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克 | |
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persecute
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vt.迫害,虐待;纠缠,骚扰 | |
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persecuted
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(尤指宗教或政治信仰的)迫害(~sb. for sth.)( persecute的过去式和过去分词 ); 烦扰,困扰或骚扰某人 | |
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dallying
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v.随随便便地对待( dally的现在分词 );不很认真地考虑;浪费时间;调情 | |
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perseverance
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n.坚持不懈,不屈不挠 | |
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decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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peculiar
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adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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cedars
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雪松,西洋杉( cedar的名词复数 ) | |
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baker
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n.面包师 | |
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mitigated
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v.减轻,缓和( mitigate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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afflicted
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使受痛苦,折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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toadying
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v.拍马,谄媚( toady的现在分词 ) | |
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equanimity
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n.沉着,镇定 | |
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erring
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做错事的,错误的 | |
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consistency
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n.一贯性,前后一致,稳定性;(液体的)浓度 | |
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grassiness
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n.草深,绿色,象草;牧草性 | |
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grassy
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adj.盖满草的;长满草的 | |
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wrestle
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vi.摔跤,角力;搏斗;全力对付 | |
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abstain
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v.自制,戒绝,弃权,避免 | |
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lawful
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adj.法律许可的,守法的,合法的 | |
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providence
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n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝 | |
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perfectly
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adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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delicacy
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n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴 | |
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compensated
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补偿,报酬( compensate的过去式和过去分词 ); 给(某人)赔偿(或赔款) | |
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melancholy
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n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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housekeeper
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n.管理家务的主妇,女管家 | |
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justify
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vt.证明…正当(或有理),为…辩护 | |
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undoubtedly
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adv.确实地,无疑地 | |
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solely
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adv.仅仅,唯一地 | |
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illiterate
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adj.文盲的;无知的;n.文盲 | |
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shuddered
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v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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dispositions
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安排( disposition的名词复数 ); 倾向; (财产、金钱的)处置; 气质 | |
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intimacies
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亲密( intimacy的名词复数 ); 密切; 亲昵的言行; 性行为 | |
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conscientious
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adj.审慎正直的,认真的,本着良心的 | |
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kindly
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adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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estrangement
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n.疏远,失和,不和 | |
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creed
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n.信条;信念,纲领 | |
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eschewed
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v.(尤指为道德或实际理由而)习惯性避开,回避( eschew的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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eschewal
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n.避免(某种行为、食物等),回避(有害的或讨厌的人或事物)逃避 | |
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gambling
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n.赌博;投机 | |
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sweeping
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adj.范围广大的,一扫无遗的 | |
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backbiting
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背后诽谤 | |
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propounded
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v.提出(问题、计划等)供考虑[讨论],提议( propound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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conspicuous
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adj.明眼的,惹人注目的;炫耀的,摆阔气的 | |
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lessen
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vt.减少,减轻;缩小 | |
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gulf
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n.海湾;深渊,鸿沟;分歧,隔阂 | |
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unbearable
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adj.不能容忍的;忍受不住的 | |
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vows
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誓言( vow的名词复数 ); 郑重宣布,许愿 | |
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