When I was nine years old, going on ten, I experienced a true metaphysical crisis. Maybe this seems young for such a thing, but I was always a precocious¹ child. It all happened over the summer between fourth and fifth grade. I was going to be turning ten years old in July, and there was something about the transition from nine to ten--from single digit² to double digits--that shocked me into a genuine existential panic, usually reserved for people turning fifty. I remember thinking that life was passing me by so fast. It seemed like only yesterday I was in kindergarten, and here I was, about to turn ten. Soon I would be a teenager, then middle-aged³, then elderly, then dead. And everyone else was aging in hyperspeed, too. Everybody was going to be dead soon. My parents would die. My friends would die. My cat would die. My older sister was almost in high school already; I could remember her going off to first grade only moments ago, it seemed, in her little knee socks, and now she was in high school? Obviously it wouldn't be long before she was dead. What was the point of all this?

The strangest thing about this crisis was that nothing in particular had spurred it. No friend or relative had died, giving me my first taste of mortality, nor had I read or seen anything particular about death; I hadn't even read Charlotte's Web yet. This panic I was feeling at age ten was nothing less than a spontaneous and full-out realization⁴ of mortality's inevitable⁵ march, and I had no spiritual vocabulary with which to help myself manage it. We were Protestants, and not even devout⁶ ones, at that. We said grace only before Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner and went to church sporadically⁷. My dad chose to stay home on Sunday mornings, finding his devotional practice in farming. I sang in the choir⁸ because I liked singing; my pretty sister was the angel in the Christmas

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1 precocious
adj.早熟的；较早显出的
参考例句：
They become precocious experts in tragedy.他们成了一批思想早熟、善写悲剧的能手。 Margaret was always a precocious child.玛格丽特一直是个早熟的孩子。

2 digit
n.零到九的阿拉伯数字，手指，脚趾
参考例句：
Her telephone number differs from mine by one digit.她的电话号码和我的只差一个数字。 Many animals have five digits.许多动物有5趾。

3 middle-aged
adj.中年的
参考例句：
I noticed two middle-aged passengers.我注意到两个中年乘客。 The new skin balm was welcome by middle-aged women.这种新护肤香膏受到了中年妇女的欢迎。

4 realization
n.实现；认识到，深刻了解
参考例句：
We shall gladly lend every effort in our power toward its realization.我们将乐意为它的实现而竭尽全力。 He came to the realization that he would never make a good teacher.他逐渐认识到自己永远不会成为好老师。

5 inevitable
adj.不可避免的，必然发生的
参考例句：
Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。 The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

6 devout
adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness)
参考例句：
His devout Catholicism appeals to ordinary people.他对天主教的虔诚信仰感染了普通民众。 The devout man prayed daily.那位虔诚的男士每天都祈祷。

7 sporadically
adv.偶发地，零星地
参考例句：
There are some trees sporadically around his house. 他的房子周围零星地有点树木。 来自辞典例句 As for other aspects, we will sporadically hand out questionnaires. 在其他方面，我们会偶尔发送调查问卷。 来自互联网

8 choir
n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱
参考例句：
The choir sang the words out with great vigor.合唱团以极大的热情唱出了歌词。 The church choir is singing tonight.今晚教堂歌唱队要唱诗。

9 pageant
n.壮观的游行；露天历史剧
参考例句：
Our pageant represented scenes from history.我们的露天历史剧上演一幕幕的历史事件。 The inauguration ceremony of the new President was a splendid pageant.新主席的就职典礼的开始是极其壮观的。

10 futile
adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的
参考例句：
They were killed,to the last man,in a futile attack.因为进攻失败，他们全部被杀，无一幸免。 Their efforts to revive him were futile.他们对他抢救无效。

11 spun
v.纺，杜撰，急转身
参考例句：
His grandmother spun him a yarn at the fire.他奶奶在火炉边给他讲故事。 Her skilful fingers spun the wool out to a fine thread.她那灵巧的手指把羊毛纺成了细毛线。

12 awareness
n.意识，觉悟，懂事，明智
参考例句：
There is a general awareness that smoking is harmful.人们普遍认识到吸烟有害健康。 Environmental awareness has increased over the years.这些年来人们的环境意识增强了。

13 longing
n.（for）渴望
参考例句：
Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。 His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

14 ranch
n.大牧场，大农场
参考例句：
He went to work on a ranch.他去一个大农场干活。 The ranch is in the middle of a large plateau.该牧场位于一个辽阔高原的中部。

15 simultaneously
adv.同时发生地，同时进行地
参考例句：
The radar beam can track a number of targets almost simultaneously.雷达波几乎可以同时追着多个目标。 The Windows allow a computer user to execute multiple programs simultaneously.Windows允许计算机用户同时运行多个程序。

16 collapsed
adj.倒塌的
参考例句：
Jack collapsed in agony on the floor. 杰克十分痛苦地瘫倒在地板上。 The roof collapsed under the weight of snow. 房顶在雪的重压下突然坍塌下来。

17 exhaustion
n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述
参考例句：
She slept the sleep of exhaustion.她因疲劳而酣睡。 His exhaustion was obvious when he fell asleep standing.他站着睡着了，显然是太累了。

18 apathetic
adj.冷漠的，无动于衷的
参考例句：
I realised I was becoming increasingly depressed and apathetic.我意识到自己越来越消沉、越来越冷漠了。 You won't succeed if you are apathetic.要是你冷淡，你就不能成功。

19 gracefully
ad.大大方方地；优美地
参考例句：
She sank gracefully down onto a cushion at his feet. 她优雅地坐到他脚旁的垫子上。 The new coats blouse gracefully above the hip line. 新外套在臀围线上优美地打着褶皱。

20 paradoxes
n.似非而是的隽语，看似矛盾而实际却可能正确的说法( paradox的名词复数 )；用于语言文学中的上述隽语；有矛盾特点的人[事物，情况]
参考例句：
Contradictions and paradoxes arose in increasing numbers. 矛盾和悖论越来越多。 来自辞典例句 As far as these paradoxes are concerned, the garden definitely a heterotopia. 就这些吊诡性而言，花园无疑地是个异质空间。 来自互联网

21 injustices
不公平( injustice的名词复数 )； 非正义； 待…不公正； 冤枉
参考例句：
One who committed many injustices is doomed to failure. 多行不义必自毙。 He felt confident that his injustices would be righted. 他相信他的冤屈会受到昭雪的。

22 itch
n.痒，渴望，疥癣；vi.发痒，渴望
参考例句：
Shylock has an itch for money.夏洛克渴望发财。 He had an itch on his back.他背部发痒。

23 relentless
adj.残酷的，不留情的，无怜悯心的
参考例句：
The traffic noise is relentless.交通车辆的噪音一刻也不停止。 Their training has to be relentless.他们的训练必须是无情的。

24 cork
n.软木，软木塞
参考例句：
We heard the pop of a cork.我们听见瓶塞砰的一声打开。 Cork is a very buoyant material.软木是极易浮起的材料。

25 hearth
n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面
参考例句：
She came and sat in a chair before the hearth.她走过来，在炉子前面的椅子上坐下。 She comes to the hearth,and switches on the electric light there.她走到壁炉那里，打开电灯。

26 meditation
n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录
参考例句：
This peaceful garden lends itself to meditation.这个恬静的花园适于冥想。 I'm sorry to interrupt your meditation.很抱歉，我打断了你的沉思。

27 serenity
n.宁静，沉着，晴朗
参考例句：
Her face,though sad,still evoked a feeling of serenity.她的脸色虽然悲伤，但仍使人感觉安详。 She escaped to the comparative serenity of the kitchen.她逃到相对安静的厨房里。

28 kindly
adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地
参考例句：
Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。 A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

29 inferno
n.火海；地狱般的场所
参考例句：
Rescue workers fought to get to victims inside the inferno.救援人员奋力营救大火中的受害者。 The burning building became an inferno.燃烧着的大楼成了地狱般的地方。

30 actively
adv.积极地，勤奋地
参考例句：
During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。 We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。

31 complacent
adj.自满的；自鸣得意的
参考例句：
We must not become complacent the moment we have some success.我们决不能一见成绩就自满起来。 She was complacent about her achievements.她对自己的成绩沾沾自喜。

32 compassionating
v.同情（compassionate的现在分词形式）
参考例句：

33 interfering
adj. 妨碍的 动词interfere的现在分词
参考例句：
He's an interfering old busybody! 他老爱管闲事！ I wish my mother would stop interfering and let me make my own decisions. 我希望我母亲不再干预，让我自己拿主意。

34 Buddhist
adj./n.佛教的，佛教徒
参考例句：
The old lady fell down in adoration before Buddhist images.那老太太在佛像面前顶礼膜拜。 In the eye of the Buddhist,every worldly affair is vain.在佛教徒的眼里，人世上一切事情都是空的。

35 lore
n.传说；学问，经验，知识
参考例句：
I will seek and question him of his lore.我倒要找上他，向他讨教他的渊博的学问。 Early peoples passed on plant and animal lore through legend.早期人类通过传说传递有关植物和动物的知识。

36 Buddha
n.佛；佛像；佛陀
参考例句：
Several women knelt down before the statue of Buddha and prayed.几个妇女跪在佛像前祈祷。 He has kept the figure of Buddha for luck.为了图吉利他一直保存着这尊佛像。

37 decided
adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的
参考例句：
This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。 There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

38 meager
adj.缺乏的，不足的，瘦的
参考例句：
He could not support his family on his meager salary.他靠微薄的工资无法养家。 The two men and the woman grouped about the fire and began their meager meal.两个男人同一个女人围着火，开始吃起少得可怜的午饭。

39 deception
n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计
参考例句：
He admitted conspiring to obtain property by deception.他承认曾与人合谋骗取财产。 He was jailed for two years for fraud and deception.他因为诈骗和欺诈入狱服刑两年。

40 whatsoever
adv.（用于否定句中以加强语气）任何；pron.无论什么
参考例句：
There's no reason whatsoever to turn down this suggestion.没有任何理由拒绝这个建议。 All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,do ye even so to them.你想别人对你怎样，你就怎样对人。

41 frantically
ad.发狂地, 发疯地
参考例句：
He dashed frantically across the road. 他疯狂地跑过马路。 She bid frantically for the old chair. 她发狂地喊出高价要买那把古老的椅子。

42 elude
v.躲避，困惑
参考例句：
If you chase it,it will elude you.如果你追逐着它， 它会躲避你。 I had dared and baffled his fury.I must elude his sorrow.我曾经面对过他的愤怒，并且把它挫败了；现在我必须躲避他的悲哀。

43 ashtray
n.烟灰缸
参考例句：
He knocked out his pipe in the big glass ashtray.他在大玻璃烟灰缸里磕净烟斗。 She threw the cigarette butt into the ashtray.她把烟头扔进烟灰缸。

44 taunt
n.辱骂，嘲弄；v.嘲弄
参考例句：
He became a taunt to his neighbours.他成了邻居们嘲讽的对象。 Why do the other children taunt him with having red hair?为什么别的小孩子讥笑他有红头发？

45 revolves
v.（使）旋转( revolve的第三人称单数 )；细想
参考例句：
The earth revolves both round the sun and on its own axis. 地球既公转又自转。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》 Thus a wheel revolves on its axle. 于是，轮子在轴上旋转。 来自《简明英汉词典》

46 participation
n.参与，参加，分享
参考例句：
Some of the magic tricks called for audience participation.有些魔术要求有观众的参与。 The scheme aims to encourage increased participation in sporting activities.这个方案旨在鼓励大众更多地参与体育活动。

47 wither
vt.使凋谢，使衰退，(用眼神气势等)使畏缩；vi.枯萎，衰退，消亡
参考例句：
She grows as a flower does-she will wither without sun.她象鲜花一样成长--没有太阳就会凋谢。 In autumn the leaves wither and fall off the trees.秋天，树叶枯萎并从树上落下来。

48 yearning
a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的
参考例句：
a yearning for a quiet life 对宁静生活的向往 He felt a great yearning after his old job. 他对过去的工作有一种强烈的渴想。

49 fervor
n.热诚；热心；炽热
参考例句：
They were concerned only with their own religious fervor.他们只关心自己的宗教热诚。 The speech aroused nationalist fervor.这个演讲喚起了民族主义热情。