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Chapter 54

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 This morning, I overslept. Which is to say--sloth that I am, I dozed1 until the ungodly hour of 4:15 AM. I woke up only minutes before the Gurugita was to begin, motivated myself reluctantly to get out of bed, splashed some water on my face, dressed and--feeling so crusty and cranky and resentful--went to leave my room in the predawn pitch-black . . . only to find that my roommate had left the room before me and had locked me in.

This was a really difficult thing for her to have done. It's not that big a room and it's hard not to notice that your roommate is still sleeping in the next bed. And she's a really responsible, practical woman--a mother of five from Australia. This is not her style. But she did it. She literally2 padlocked me in the room.
My first thought, was: If there were ever a good excuse not to go to the Gurugita, this would be it. My second thought, though? Well--it wasn't even a thought. It was an action.
I jumped out the window.
To be specific, I crawled outside over the railing, gripping it with my sweaty palms and dangling3 there from two stories up over the darkness for a moment, only then asking myself the reasonable question, "Why are you jumping out of this building?" My reply came with a fierce, impersonal4 determination: I have to get to the Gurugita. Then I let go and dropped backward maybe twelve or fifteen feet through the dark air to the concrete sidewalk below, hitting something on the way down that peeled a long strip of skin off my right shin, but I didn't care. I picked myself up and ran barefoot, my pulse slamming in my ears, all the way to the temple, found a seat, opened up my prayer book just as the chant was beginning and--bleeding down my leg the whole while--I started to sing the Gurugita.
It was only after a few verses that I caught my breath and was able to think my normal, instinctive5 morning thought: I don't want to be here. After which I heard Swamiji burst out laughing in my head, saying: That's funny--you sure act like somebody who wants to be here.
And I replied to him, OK, then. You win.
I sat there, singing and bleeding and thinking that it was maybe time for me to change my relationship with this particular spiritual practice. The Gurugita is meant to be a

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1 dozed 30eca1f1e3c038208b79924c30b35bfc     
v.打盹儿,打瞌睡( doze的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He boozed till daylight and dozed into the afternoon. 他喝了个通霄,昏沉沉地一直睡到下午。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • I dozed off during the soporific music. 我听到这催人入睡的音乐,便不知不觉打起盹儿来了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
2 literally 28Wzv     
adv.照字面意义,逐字地;确实
参考例句:
  • He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
  • Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候,她不走到真正要昏厥了,决不肯坐下来。
3 dangling 4930128e58930768b1c1c75026ebc649     
悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 ); 摆动不定; 用某事物诱惑…; 吊胃口
参考例句:
  • The tooth hung dangling by the bedpost, now. 结果,那颗牙就晃来晃去吊在床柱上了。
  • The children sat on the high wall,their legs dangling. 孩子们坐在一堵高墙上,摇晃着他们的双腿。
4 impersonal Ck6yp     
adj.无个人感情的,与个人无关的,非人称的
参考例句:
  • Even his children found him strangely distant and impersonal.他的孩子们也认为他跟其他人很疏远,没有人情味。
  • His manner seemed rather stiff and impersonal.他的态度似乎很生硬冷淡。
5 instinctive c6jxT     
adj.(出于)本能的;直觉的;(出于)天性的
参考例句:
  • He tried to conceal his instinctive revulsion at the idea.他试图饰盖自己对这一想法本能的厌恶。
  • Animals have an instinctive fear of fire.动物本能地怕火。
6 hymn m4Wyw     
n.赞美诗,圣歌,颂歌
参考例句:
  • They sang a hymn of praise to God.他们唱着圣歌,赞美上帝。
  • The choir has sung only two verses of the last hymn.合唱团只唱了最后一首赞美诗的两个段落。
7 sincerity zyZwY     
n.真诚,诚意;真实
参考例句:
  • His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
  • He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。
8 astute Av7zT     
adj.机敏的,精明的
参考例句:
  • A good leader must be an astute judge of ability.一个优秀的领导人必须善于识别人的能力。
  • The criminal was very astute and well matched the detective in intelligence.这个罪犯非常狡猾,足以对付侦探的机智。
9 dedicated duHzy2     
adj.一心一意的;献身的;热诚的
参考例句:
  • He dedicated his life to the cause of education.他献身于教育事业。
  • His whole energies are dedicated to improve the design.他的全部精力都放在改进这项设计上了。
10 reassure 9TgxW     
v.使放心,使消除疑虑
参考例句:
  • This seemed to reassure him and he continued more confidently.这似乎使他放心一点,于是他更有信心地继续说了下去。
  • The airline tried to reassure the customers that the planes were safe.航空公司尽力让乘客相信飞机是安全的。
11 scripture WZUx4     
n.经文,圣书,手稿;Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》,《圣经》中的一段
参考例句:
  • The scripture states that God did not want us to be alone.圣经指出上帝并不是想让我们独身一人生活。
  • They invoked Hindu scripture to justify their position.他们援引印度教的经文为他们的立场辩护。
12 helping 2rGzDc     
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的
参考例句:
  • The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
  • By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。
13 gratitude p6wyS     
adj.感激,感谢
参考例句:
  • I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
  • She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。
14 molecular mE9xh     
adj.分子的;克分子的
参考例句:
  • The research will provide direct insight into molecular mechanisms.这项研究将使人能够直接地了解分子的机理。
  • For the pressure to become zero, molecular bombardment must cease.当压强趋近于零时,分子的碰撞就停止了。
15 whatsoever Beqz8i     
adv.(用于否定句中以加强语气)任何;pron.无论什么
参考例句:
  • There's no reason whatsoever to turn down this suggestion.没有任何理由拒绝这个建议。
  • All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,do ye even so to them.你想别人对你怎样,你就怎样对人。
16 meditation yjXyr     
n.熟虑,(尤指宗教的)默想,沉思,(pl.)冥想录
参考例句:
  • This peaceful garden lends itself to meditation.这个恬静的花园适于冥想。
  • I'm sorry to interrupt your meditation.很抱歉,我打断了你的沉思。

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