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Chatper 64
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This was so obviously another one of Swamiji's jokes.
You wanted to be The Quiet Girl in the Back of the Temple? Well, guess what . . .
But this is what always happens at the Ashram. You make some big grandiose1 decision about what you need to do, or who you need to be, and then circumstances arise that immediately reveal to you how little you understood about yourself. I don't know how many times Swamiji said it during his lifetime, and I don't know how many more times my Guru has repeated it since his death, but it seems I have not quite yet absorbed the truth of their most insistent2 statement:
"God dwells within you, as you."
AS you.
If there is one holy truth of this Yoga, that line encapsulates it. God dwells within you as you yourself, exactly the way you are. God isn't interested in watching you enact3 some performance of personality in order to comply with some crackpot notion you have about how a spiritual person looks or behaves. We all seem to get this idea that, in order to be sacred, we have to make some massive, dramatic change of character, that we have to renounce4 our individuality. This is a classic example of what they call in the East "wrong-thinking." Swamiji used to say that every day renunciants find something new to renounce, but it is usually depression, not peace, that they attain5. Constantly he was teaching that austerity and renunciation--just for their own sake--are not what you need. To know God, you need only to renounce one thing--your sense of division from God. Otherwise, just stay as you were made, within your natural character.
So what is my natural character? I love studying in this Ashram, but my dream of finding divinity by gliding6 silently through the place with a gentle, ethereal smile--who is that person? That's probably someone I saw on a TV show. The reality is, it's a little sad for me to admit that I will never be that character. I've always been so fascinated by these wraith-like, delicate souls. Always wanted to be the quiet girl. Probably
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收听单词发音

1
grandiose
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adj.宏伟的,宏大的,堂皇的,铺张的 | |
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2
insistent
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adj.迫切的,坚持的 | |
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3
enact
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vt.制定(法律);上演,扮演 | |
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4
renounce
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v.放弃;拒绝承认,宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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5
attain
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vt.达到,获得,完成 | |
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6
gliding
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v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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7
precisely
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adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地 | |
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8
embody
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vt.具体表达,使具体化;包含,收录 | |
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9
fully
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adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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10
devout
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adj.虔诚的,虔敬的,衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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thoroughly
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adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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12
humbled
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adj. 卑下的,谦逊的,粗陋的 vt. 使 ... 卑下,贬低 | |
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13
virtues
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美德( virtue的名词复数 ); 德行; 优点; 长处 | |
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vices
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缺陷( vice的名词复数 ); 恶习; 不道德行为; 台钳 | |
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15
radical
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n.激进份子,原子团,根号;adj.根本的,激进的,彻底的 | |
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modifications
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n.缓和( modification的名词复数 );限制;更改;改变 | |
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dealing
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n.经商方法,待人态度 | |
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delusions
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n.欺骗( delusion的名词复数 );谬见;错觉;妄想 | |
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