“Hout, man!” said a stout countryman, “I have a grew-bitch at home will worry the best tod in Pomoragrains, before ye could say, Dumpling.”

“Who is that person?” said the Preses, with some warmth, as it appeared to us.

“A son of Dandy Dinmont’s,” answered the unabashed rustic. “God, ye may mind him, I think!— ane o’ the best in your aught, I reckon. And, ye see, I am come into the farm, and maybe something mair, and a whoen shares in this buik-trade of yours.”

“Well, well,” replied the Preses, “peace, I pray thee, peace. Gentlemen, when thus interrupted, I was on the point of introducing the business of this meeting, being, as is known to most of you, the discussion of a proposition now on your table, which I myself had the honour to suggest at last meeting, namely, that we do apply to the Legislature for an Act of Parliament in ordinary, to associate us into a corporate body, and give us a personi standi in judicio , with full power to prosecute and bring to conviction all encroachers upon our exclusive privilege, in the manner therein to be made and provided. In a letter from the ingenious Mr. Dousterswivel which I have received ——”

Oldbuck, warmly —“I object to that fellow’s name being mentioned; he is a common swindler.”

“For shame, Mr. Oldbuck,” said the Preses, “to use such terms respecting the ingenious inventor of the great patent machine erected at Groningen, where they put in raw hemp at one end, and take out ruffled shirts at the other, without the aid of hackle or rippling-comb — loom, shuttle, or weaver — scissors, needle, or seamstress. He had just completed it, by the addition of a piece of machinery to perform the work of the laundress; but when it was exhibited before his honour the burgomaster, it had the inconvenience of heating the smoothing-irons red-hot; excepting which, the experiment was entirely satisfactory. He will become as rich as a Jew.”

“Well,” added Mr. Oldbuck, “if the scoundrel —”

“Scoundrel, Mr. Oldbuck,” said the Preses, “is a most unseemly expression, and I must call you to order. Mr. Dousterswivel is only an eccentric genius.”

“Pretty much the same in the Greek,” muttered Mr. Oldbuck; and then said aloud, “and if this eccentric genius has work enough in singeing the Dutchman’s linen, what the devil has he to do here?”

“Why, he is of opinion, that at the expense of a little mechanism, some part of the labour of composing these novels might be saved by the use of steam.” There was a murmur of disapprobation at this proposal, and the words, “Blown up,” and “Bread taken out of our mouths,” and “They might as well construct a steam parson,” were whispered. And it was not without repeated calls to order, that the Preses obtained an opportunity of resuming his address.