The project upon which she now determined14, was no other than that of a day-school, to be superintended by Fanny Blood, herself, and her two sisters.
They accordingly opened one in the year 1783, at the village of Islington; but in the course of a few months removed it to Newington Green. Here Mary formed some acquaintances who influenced the future events of her life. The first of these in her own estimation, was Dr. Richard Price, well known for his political and mathematical calculations, and universally esteemed16 by those who knew him, for the simplicity17 of his manners, and the ardour of his benevolence19. The regard conceived by these two persons for each other, was mutual20, and partook of a spirit of the purest attachment21. Mary had been bred in the principles of the church of England, but her esteem15 for this venerable preacher led her occasionally to attend upon his public instructions. Her religion was, in reality, little allied22 to any system of forms; and, as she has often told me, was founded rather in taste, than in the niceties of polemical discussion. Her mind constitutionally attached itself to the sublime23 and the amiable24. She found an inexpressible delight in the beauties of nature, and in the splendid reveries of the imagination. But nature itself, she thought, would be no better than a vast blank, if the mind of the observer did not supply it with an animating26 soul. When she walked amidst the wonders of nature, she was accustomed to converse27 with her God. To her mind he was pictured as not less amiable, generous and kind, than great, wise and exalted28. In fact, she had received few lessons of religion in her youth, and her religion was almost entirely29 of her own creation. But she was not on that account the less attached to it, or the less scrupulous30 in discharging what she considered as its duties. She could not recollect31 the time when she had believed the doctrine32 of future punishments. The tenets of her system were the growth of her own moral taste, and her religion therefore had always been a gratification, never a terror, to her. She expected a future state; but she would not allow her ideas of that future state to be modified by the notions of judgment33 and retribution. From this sketch34, it is sufficiently evident, that the pleasure she took in an occasional attendance upon the sermons of Dr. Price, was not accompanied with a superstitious35 adherence36 to his doctrines37. The fact is, that, as far down as the year 1787, she regularly frequented public worship, for the most part according to the forms of the church of England. After that period her attendance became less constant, and in no long time was wholly discontinued. I believe it may be admitted as a maxim38, that no person of a well furnished mind, that has shaken off the implicit18 subsection of youth, and is not the zealous40 partizan of a sect39, can bring himself to conform to the public and regular routine of sermons and prayers.
Another of the friends she acquired at this period, was Mrs. Burgh, widow of the author of the Political Disquisitions, a woman universally well spoken of for the warmth and purity of her benevolence. Mary, whenever she had occasion to allude41 to her, to the last period of her life, paid the tribute due to her virtues42. The only remaining friend necessary to be enumerated43 in this place, is the rev25. John Hewlet, now master of a boarding-school at Shacklewel near Hackney, whom I shall have occasion to mention hereafter.
I have already said that Fanny’s health had been materially injured by her incessant45 labours for the maintenance of her family. She had also suffered a disappointment, which preyed46 upon her mind. To these different sources of ill health she became gradually a victim; and at length discovered all the symptoms of a pulmonary consumption. By the medical men that attended her, she was advised to try the effects of a southern climate; and, about the beginning of the year 1785, sailed for Lisbon.
The first feeling with which Mary had contemplated47 her friend, was a sentiment of inferiority and reverence48; but that, from the operation of a ten years’ acquaintance, was considerably49 changed. Fanny had originally been far before her in literary attainments50; this disparity no longer existed. In whatever degree Mary might endeavour to free herself from the delusions51 of self-esteem, this period of observation upon her own mind and that of her friend, could not pass, without her perceiving that there were some essential characteristics of genius, which she possessed52, and in which her friend was deficient53. The principal of these was a firmness of mind, an unconquerable greatness of soul, by which, after a short internal struggle, she was accustomed to rise above difficulties and suffering. Whatever Mary undertook, she perhaps in all instances accomplished54; and, to her lofty spirit, scarcely anything she desired, appeared hard to perform. Fanny, on the contrary, was a woman of a timid and irresolute55 nature, accustomed to yield to difficulties, and probably priding herself in this morbid56 softness of her temper. One instance that I have heard Mary relate of this sort, was, that, at a certain time, Fanny, dissatisfied with her domestic situation, expressed an earnest desire to have a home of her own. Mary, who felt nothing more pressing than to relieve the inconveniences of her friend, determined to accomplish this object for her. It cost her infinite exertions57; but at length she was able to announce to Fanny that a house was prepared, and that she was on the spot to receive her. The answer which Fanny returned to the letter of her friend, consisted almost wholly of an enumeration58 of objections to the quitting her family, which she had not thought of before, but which now appeared to her of considerable weight.
The judgment which experience had taught Mary to form of the mind of her friend, determined her in the advice she gave, at the period to which I have brought down the story. Fanny was recommended to seek a softer climate, but she had no funds to defray the expence of such an undertaking59. At this time Mr. Hugh Skeys of Dublin, but then resident in the kingdom of Portugal, paid his addresses to her. The state of her health Mary considered as such as scarcely to afford the shadow of a hope; it was not therefore a time at which it was most obvious to think of marriage. She conceived however that nothing should be omitted, which might alleviate60, if it could not cure; and accordingly urged her speedy acceptance of the proposal. Fanny accordingly made the voyage to Lisbon; and the marriage took place on the twenty-fourth of February 1785.
The change of climate and situation was productive of little benefit; and the life of Fanny was only prolonged by a period of pregnancy61, which soon declared itself. Mary, in the mean time, was impressed with the idea that her friend would die in this distant country; and, shocked with the recollection of her separation from the circle of her friends, determined to pass over to Lisbon to attend her. This resolution was treated by her acquaintance as in the utmost degree visionary; but she was not to be diverted from her point. She had not money to defray her expences: she must quit for a long time the school, the very existence of which probably depended upon her exertions.
No person was ever better formed for the business of education; if it be not a sort of absurdity62 to speak of a person as formed for an inferior object, who is in possession of talents, in the fullest degree adequate to something on a more important and comprehensive scale. Mary had a quickness of temper, not apt to take offence with inadvertencies, but which led her to imagine that she saw the mind of the person with whom she had any transaction, and to refer the principle of her approbation63 or displeasure to the cordiality or injustice64 of their sentiments. She was occasionally severe and imperious in her resentments65; and, when she strongly disapproved66, was apt to express her censure67 in terms that gave a very humiliating sensation to the person against whom it was directed. Her displeasure however never assumed its severest form, but when it was barbed by disappointment. Where she expected little, she was not very rigid68 in her censure of error.
But, to whatever the defects of her temper might amount, they were never exercised upon her inferiors in station or age. She scorned to make use of an ungenerous advantage, or to wound the defenceless. To her servants there never was a mistress more considerate or more kind. With children she was the mirror of patience. Perhaps, in all her extensive experience upon the subject of education, she never betrayed one symptom of irascibility. Her heart was the seat of every benevolent69 feeling; and accordingly, in all her intercourse70 with children, it was kindness and sympathy alone that prompted her conduct. Sympathy, when it mounts to a certain height, inevitably71 begets72 affection in the person towards whom it is exercised; and I have heard her say, that she never was concerned in the education of one child, who was not personally attached to her, and earnestly concerned, not to incur73 her displeasure. Another eminent74 advantage she possessed in the business of education, was that she was little troubled with scepticism and uncertainty75. She saw, as it were by intuition, the path which her mind determined to pursue, and had a firm confidence in her own power to effect what she desired. Yet, with all this, she had scarcely a tincture of obstinacy76. She carefully watched symptoms as they rose, and the success of her experiments; and governed herself accordingly. While I thus enumerate44 her more than maternal77 qualities, it is impossible not to feel a pang78 at the recollection of her orphan79 children!
Though her friends earnestly dissuaded80 her from the journey to Lisbon, she found among them a willingness facilitate the execution of her project, when it was once fixed81. Mrs. Burgh in particular, supplied her with money, which however she always conceived came from Dr. Price. This loan, I have reason to believe, was faithfully repaid.
It was during her residence at Newington Green, that she was introduced to the acquaintance of Dr. Johnson, who was at that time considered as in some sort the father of English literature. The doctor treated her with particular kindness and attention, had a long conversation with her, and desired her to repeat her visit often. This she firmly purposed to do; but the news of his last illness, and then of his death, intervened to prevent her making a second visit.
Her residence in Lisbon was not long. She arrived but a short time before her friend was prematurely82 delivered, and the event was fatal to both mother and child. Frances Blood, hitherto the chosen object of Mary’s attachment, died on the twenty-ninth of November 1785.
It is thus that she speaks of her in her Letters from Norway, written ten years after her decease. “When a warm heart has received strong impressions, they are not to be effaced83. Emotions become sentiments; and the imagination renders even transient sensations permanent, by fondly retracing84 them. I cannot, without a thrill of delight, recollect views I have seen, which are not to be forgotten, nor looks I have felt in every nerve, which I shall never more meet. The grave has closed over a dear friend, the friend of my youth; still she is present with me, and I hear her soft voice warbling as I stray over the heath.”
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1
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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convalescence
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| n.病后康复期 | |
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ruminate
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| v.反刍；沉思 | |
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arduous
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| adj.艰苦的，费力的，陡峭的 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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derangement
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| n.精神错乱 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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tormented
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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esteemed
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| adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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implicit
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| a.暗示的，含蓄的，不明晰的，绝对的 | |
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benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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allied
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| adj.协约国的；同盟国的 | |
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sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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rev
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| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
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animating
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| v.使有生气( animate的现在分词 )；驱动；使栩栩如生地动作；赋予…以生命 | |
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converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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28
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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scrupulous
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| adj.审慎的，小心翼翼的，完全的，纯粹的 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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sketch
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| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
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superstitious
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| adj.迷信的 | |
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adherence
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| n.信奉，依附，坚持，固着 | |
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doctrines
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| n.教条( doctrine的名词复数 )；教义；学说；（政府政策的）正式声明 | |
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maxim
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| n.格言，箴言 | |
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sect
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| n.派别，宗教，学派，派系 | |
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zealous
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| adj.狂热的，热心的 | |
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allude
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| v.提及，暗指 | |
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42
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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43
enumerated
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| v.列举，枚举，数( enumerate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44
enumerate
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| v.列举，计算，枚举，数 | |
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45
incessant
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| adj.不停的，连续的 | |
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46
preyed
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| v.掠食( prey的过去式和过去分词 )；掠食；折磨；（人）靠欺诈为生 | |
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47
contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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48
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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49
considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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50
attainments
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| 成就，造诣； 获得( attainment的名词复数 )； 达到； 造诣； 成就 | |
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51
delusions
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| n.欺骗( delusion的名词复数 )；谬见；错觉；妄想 | |
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52
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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53
deficient
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| adj.不足的，不充份的，有缺陷的 | |
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54
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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55
irresolute
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| adj.无决断的，优柔寡断的，踌躇不定的 | |
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56
morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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57
exertions
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| n.努力( exertion的名词复数 )；费力；（能力、权力等的）运用；行使 | |
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58
enumeration
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| n.计数，列举；细目；详表；点查 | |
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undertaking
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| n.保证，许诺，事业 | |
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60
alleviate
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| v.减轻，缓和，缓解(痛苦等) | |
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pregnancy
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| n.怀孕，怀孕期 | |
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absurdity
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| n.荒谬，愚蠢；谬论 | |
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approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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resentments
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| （因受虐待而）愤恨，不满，怨恨( resentment的名词复数 ) | |
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66
disapproved
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| v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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67
censure
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| v./n.责备；非难；责难 | |
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68
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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70
intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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71
inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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72
begets
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| v.为…之生父( beget的第三人称单数 )；产生，引起 | |
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73
incur
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| vt.招致，蒙受，遭遇 | |
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eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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75
uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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76
obstinacy
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| n.顽固；（病痛等）难治 | |
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maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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orphan
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| n.孤儿；adj.无父母的 | |
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80
dissuaded
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| 劝（某人）勿做某事，劝阻( dissuade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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81
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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prematurely
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| adv.过早地，贸然地 | |
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83
effaced
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| v.擦掉( efface的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；超越；使黯然失色 | |
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84
retracing
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| v.折回( retrace的现在分词 )；回忆；回顾；追溯 | |
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