Mr. Tartar doing the honours of this gallant22 craft was of a piece with the rest. When a man rides an amiable26 hobby that shies at nothing and kicks nobody, it is only agreeable to find him riding it with a humorous sense of the droll27 side of the creature. When the man is a cordial and an earnest man by nature, and withal is perfectly28 fresh and genuine, it may be doubted whether he is ever seen to greater advantage than at such a time. So Rosa would have naturally thought (even if she hadn’t been conducted over the ship with all the homage29 due to the First Lady of the Admiralty, or First Fairy of the Sea), that it was charming to see and hear Mr. Tartar half laughing at, and half rejoicing in, his various contrivances. So Rosa would have naturally thought, anyhow, that the sunburnt sailor showed to great advantage when, the inspection30 finished, he delicately withdrew out of his admiral’s cabin, beseeching31 her to consider herself its Queen, and waving her free of his flower-garden with the hand that had had Mr. Crisparkle’s life in it.
‘Helena! Helena Landless! Are you there?’
‘Who speaks to me? Not Rosa?’ Then a second handsome face appearing.
‘Yes, my darling!’
‘Why, how did you come here, dearest?’
‘I— I don’t quite know,’ said Rosa with a blush; ‘unless I am dreaming!’
Why with a blush? For their two faces were alone with the other flowers. Are blushes among the fruits of the country of the magic bean-stalk?
‘I am not dreaming,’ said Helena, smiling. ‘I should take more for granted if I were. How do we come together — or so near together — so very unexpectedly?’
Unexpectedly indeed, among the dingy32 gables and chimney-pots of P. J. T.‘s connection, and the flowers that had sprung from the salt sea. But Rosa, waking, told in a hurry how they came to be together, and all the why and wherefore of that matter.
‘And Mr. Crisparkle is here,’ said Rosa, in rapid conclusion; ‘and, could you believe it? long ago he saved his life!’
‘I could believe any such thing of Mr. Crisparkle,’ returned Helena, with a mantling33 face.
(More blushes in the bean-stalk country!)
‘Yes, but it wasn’t Crisparkle,’ said Rosa, quickly putting in the correction.
‘I don’t understand, love.’
‘It was very nice of Mr. Crisparkle to be saved,’ said Rosa, ‘and he couldn’t have shown his high opinion of Mr. Tartar more expressively34. But it was Mr. Tartar who saved him.’
Helena’s dark eyes looked very earnestly at the bright face among the leaves, and she asked, in a slower and more thoughtful tone:
‘Is Mr. Tartar with you now, dear?’
‘No; because he has given up his rooms to me — to us, I mean. It is such a beautiful place!’
‘Is it?’
‘It is like the inside of the most exquisite35 ship that ever sailed. It is like — it is like —’
‘Like a dream?’ suggested Helena.
Rosa answered with a little nod, and smelled the flowers.
Helena resumed, after a short pause of silence, during which she seemed (or it was Rosa’s fancy) to compassionate36 somebody: ‘My poor Neville is reading in his own room, the sun being so very bright on this side just now. I think he had better not know that you are so near.’
‘O, I think so too!’ cried Rosa very readily.
‘I suppose,’ pursued Helena, doubtfully, ‘that he must know by-and-by all you have told me; but I am not sure. Ask Mr. Crisparkle’s advice, my darling. Ask him whether I may tell Neville as much or as little of what you have told me as I think best.’
Rosa subsided37 into her state-cabin, and propounded38 the question. The Minor39 Canon was for the free exercise of Helena’s judgment40.
‘I thank him very much,’ said Helena, when Rosa emerged again with her report. ‘Ask him whether it would be best to wait until any more maligning41 and pursuing of Neville on the part of this wretch42 shall disclose itself, or to try to anticipate it: I mean, so far as to find out whether any such goes on darkly about us?’
The Minor Canon found this point so difficult to give a confident opinion on, that, after two or three attempts and failures, he suggested a reference to Mr. Grewgious. Helena acquiescing43, he betook himself (with a most unsuccessful assumption of lounging indifference) across the quadrangle to P. J. T.‘s, and stated it. Mr. Grewgious held decidedly to the general principle, that if you could steal a march upon a brigand44 or a wild beast, you had better do it; and he also held decidedly to the special case, that John Jasper was a brigand and a wild beast in combination.
Thus advised, Mr. Crisparkle came back again and reported to Rosa, who in her turn reported to Helena. She now steadily45 pursuing her train of thought at her window, considered thereupon.
‘We may count on Mr. Tartar’s readiness to help us, Rosa?’ she inquired.
O yes! Rosa shyly thought so. O yes, Rosa shyly believed she could almost answer for it. But should she ask Mr. Crisparkle? ‘I think your authority on the point as good as his, my dear,’ said Helena, sedately46, ‘and you needn’t disappear again for that.’ Odd of Helena!
‘You see, Neville,’ Helena pursued after more reflection, ‘knows no one else here: he has not so much as exchanged a word with any one else here. If Mr. Tartar would call to see him openly and often; if he would spare a minute for the purpose, frequently; if he would even do so, almost daily; something might come of it.’
‘Something might come of it, dear?’ repeated Rosa, surveying her friend’s beauty with a highly perplexed47 face. ‘Something might?’
‘If Neville’s movements are really watched, and if the purpose really is to isolate48 him from all friends and acquaintance and wear his daily life out grain by grain (which would seem to be the threat to you), does it not appear likely,’ said Helena, ‘that his enemy would in some way communicate with Mr. Tartar to warn him off from Neville? In which case, we might not only know the fact, but might know from Mr. Tartar what the terms of the communication were.’
‘I see!’ cried Rosa. And immediately darted49 into her state-cabin again.
Presently her pretty face reappeared, with a greatly heightened colour, and she said that she had told Mr. Crisparkle, and that Mr. Crisparkle had fetched in Mr. Tartar, and that Mr. Tartar —‘who is waiting now, in case you want him,’ added Rosa, with a half look back, and in not a little confusion between the inside of the state-cabin and out — had declared his readiness to act as she had suggested, and to enter on his task that very day.
‘I thank him from my heart,’ said Helena. ‘Pray tell him so.’
Again not a little confused between the Flower-garden and the Cabin, Rosa dipped in with her message, and dipped out again with more assurances from Mr. Tartar, and stood wavering in a divided state between Helena and him, which proved that confusion is not always necessarily awkward, but may sometimes present a very pleasant appearance.
‘And now, darling,’ said Helena, ‘we will be mindful of the caution that has restricted us to this interview for the present, and will part. I hear Neville moving too. Are you going back?’
‘To Miss Twinkleton’s?’ asked Rosa.
‘Yes.’
‘O, I could never go there any more. I couldn’t indeed, after that dreadful interview!’ said Rosa.
‘Then where are you going, pretty one?’
‘Now I come to think of it, I don’t know,’ said Rosa. ‘I have settled nothing at all yet, but my guardian51 will take care of me. Don’t be uneasy, dear. I shall be sure to be somewhere.’
(It did seem likely.)
‘And I shall hear of my Rosebud52 from Mr. Tartar?’ inquired Helena.
‘Yes, I suppose so; from —’ Rosa looked back again in a flutter, instead of supplying the name. ‘But tell me one thing before we part, dearest Helena. Tell me — that you are sure, sure, sure, I couldn’t help it.’
‘Help it, love?’
‘Help making him malicious53 and revengeful. I couldn’t hold any terms with him, could I?’
‘You know how I love you, darling,’ answered Helena, with indignation; ‘but I would sooner see you dead at his wicked feet.’
‘That’s a great comfort to me! And you will tell your poor brother so, won’t you? And you will give him my remembrance and my sympathy? And you will ask him not to hate me?’
With a mournful shake of the head, as if that would be quite a superfluous54 entreaty55, Helena lovingly kissed her two hands to her friend, and her friend’s two hands were kissed to her; and then she saw a third hand (a brown one) appear among the flowers and leaves, and help her friend out of sight.
The refection that Mr. Tartar produced in the Admiral’s Cabin by merely touching57 the spring knob of a locker and the handle of a drawer, was a dazzling enchanted58 repast. Wonderful macaroons, glittering liqueurs, magically-preserved tropical spices, and jellies of celestial59 tropical fruits, displayed themselves profusely60 at an instant’s notice. But Mr. Tartar could not make time stand still; and time, with his hard-hearted fleetness, strode on so fast, that Rosa was obliged to come down from the bean-stalk country to earth and her guardian’s chambers.
‘And now, my dear,’ said Mr. Grewgious, ‘what is to be done next? To put the same thought in another form; what is to be done with you?’
Rosa could only look apologetically sensible of being very much in her own way and in everybody else’s. Some passing idea of living, fireproof, up a good many stairs in Furnival’s Inn for the rest of her life, was the only thing in the nature of a plan that occurred to her.
‘It has come into my thoughts,’ said Mr. Grewgious, ‘that as the respected lady, Miss Twinkleton, occasionally repairs to London in the recess61, with the view of extending her connection, and being available for interviews with metropolitan62 parents, if any — whether, until we have time in which to turn ourselves round, we might invite Miss Twinkleton to come and stay with you for a month?’
‘Stay where, sir?’
‘Whether,’ explained Mr. Grewgious, ‘we might take a furnished lodging63 in town for a month, and invite Miss Twinkleton to assume the charge of you in it for that period?’
‘And afterwards?’ hinted Rosa.
‘And afterwards,’ said Mr. Grewgious, ‘we should be no worse off than we are now.’
‘I think that might smooth the way,’ assented64 Rosa.
‘Then let us,’ said Mr. Grewgious, rising, ‘go and look for a furnished lodging. Nothing could be more acceptable to me than the sweet presence of last evening, for all the remaining evenings of my existence; but these are not fit surroundings for a young lady. Let us set out in quest of adventures, and look for a furnished lodging. In the meantime, Mr. Crisparkle here, about to return home immediately, will no doubt kindly65 see Miss Twinkleton, and invite that lady to co-operate in our plan.’
Mr. Crisparkle, willingly accepting the commission, took his departure; Mr. Grewgious and his ward50 set forth66 on their expedition.
As Mr. Grewgious’s idea of looking at a furnished lodging was to get on the opposite side of the street to a house with a suitable bill in the window, and stare at it; and then work his way tortuously67 to the back of the house, and stare at that; and then not go in, but make similar trials of another house, with the same result; their progress was but slow. At length he bethought himself of a widowed cousin, divers68 times removed, of Mr. Bazzard’s, who had once solicited69 his influence in the lodger70 world, and who lived in Southampton Street, Bloomsbury Square. This lady’s name, stated in uncompromising capitals of considerable size on a brass door-plate, and yet not lucidly71 as to sex or condition, was BILLICKIN.
Personal faintness, and an overpowering personal candour, were the distinguishing features of Mrs. Billickin’s organisation72. She came languishing73 out of her own exclusive back parlour, with the air of having been expressly brought-to for the purpose, from an accumulation of several swoons.
‘I hope I see you well, sir,’ said Mrs. Billickin, recognising her visitor with a bend.
‘Thank you, quite well. And you, ma’am?’ returned Mr. Grewgious.
‘I am as well,’ said Mrs. Billickin, becoming aspirational74 with excess of faintness, ‘as I hever ham.’
‘My ward and an elderly lady,’ said Mr. Grewgious, ‘wish to find a genteel lodging for a month or so. Have you any apartments available, ma’am?’
‘Mr. Grewgious,’ returned Mrs. Billickin, ‘I will not deceive you; far from it. I have apartments available.’
This with the air of adding: ‘Convey me to the stake, if you will; but while I live, I will be candid75.’
‘And now, what apartments, ma’am?’ asked Mr. Grewgious, cosily76. To tame a certain severity apparent on the part of Mrs. Billickin.
‘There is this sitting-room — which, call it what you will, it is the front parlour, Miss,’ said Mrs. Billickin, impressing Rosa into the conversation: ‘the back parlour being what I cling to and never part with; and there is two bedrooms at the top of the ’ouse with gas laid on. I do not tell you that your bedroom floors is firm, for firm they are not. The gas-fitter himself allowed, that to make a firm job, he must go right under your jistes, and it were not worth the outlay77 as a yearly tenant78 so to do. The piping is carried above your jistes, and it is best that it should be made known to you.’
Mr. Grewgious and Rosa exchanged looks of some dismay, though they had not the least idea what latent horrors this carriage of the piping might involve. Mrs. Billickin put her hand to her heart, as having eased it of a load.
‘Well! The roof is all right, no doubt,’ said Mr. Grewgious, plucking up a little.
‘Mr. Grewgious,’ returned Mrs. Billickin, ‘if I was to tell you, sir, that to have nothink above you is to have a floor above you, I should put a deception79 upon you which I will not do. No, sir. Your slates80 will rattle81 loose at that elewation in windy weather, do your utmost, best or worst! I defy you, sir, be you what you may, to keep your slates tight, try how you can.’ Here Mrs. Billickin, having been warm with Mr. Grewgious, cooled a little, not to abuse the moral power she held over him. ‘Consequent,’ proceeded Mrs. Billickin, more mildly, but still firmly in her incorruptible candour: ‘consequent it would be worse than of no use for me to trapse and travel up to the top of the ’ouse with you, and for you to say, “Mrs. Billickin, what stain do I notice in the ceiling, for a stain I do consider it?” and for me to answer, “I do not understand you, sir.” No, sir, I will not be so underhand. I do understand you before you pint82 it out. It is the wet, sir. It do come in, and it do not come in. You may lay dry there half your lifetime; but the time will come, and it is best that you should know it, when a dripping sop83 would be no name for you.’
Mr. Grewgious looked much disgraced by being prefigured in this pickle84.
‘Have you any other apartments, ma’am?’ he asked.
‘Mr. Grewgious,’ returned Mrs. Billickin, with much solemnity, ‘I have. You ask me have I, and my open and my honest answer air, I have. The first and second floors is wacant, and sweet rooms.’
‘Come, come! There’s nothing against them,’ said Mr. Grewgious, comforting himself.
‘Mr. Grewgious,’ replied Mrs. Billickin, ‘pardon me, there is the stairs. Unless your mind is prepared for the stairs, it will lead to inevitable85 disappointment. You cannot, Miss,’ said Mrs. Billickin, addressing Rosa reproachfully, ‘place a first floor, and far less a second, on the level footing of a parlour. No, you cannot do it, Miss, it is beyond your power, and wherefore try?’
Mrs. Billickin put it very feelingly, as if Rosa had shown a headstrong determination to hold the untenable position.
‘Can we see these rooms, ma’am?’ inquired her guardian.
‘Mr. Grewgious,’ returned Mrs. Billickin, ‘you can. I will not disguise it from you, sir; you can.’
Mrs. Billickin then sent into her back parlour for her shawl (it being a state fiction, dating from immemorial antiquity86, that she could never go anywhere without being wrapped up), and having been enrolled87 by her attendant, led the way. She made various genteel pauses on the stairs for breath, and clutched at her heart in the drawing-room as if it had very nearly got loose, and she had caught it in the act of taking wing.
‘And the second floor?’ said Mr. Grewgious, on finding the first satisfactory.
‘Mr. Grewgious,’ replied Mrs. Billickin, turning upon him with ceremony, as if the time had now come when a distinct understanding on a difficult point must be arrived at, and a solemn confidence established, ‘the second floor is over this.’
‘Can we see that too, ma’am?’
‘Yes, sir,’ returned Mrs. Billickin, ‘it is open as the day.’
That also proving satisfactory, Mr. Grewgious retired88 into a window with Rosa for a few words of consultation89, and then asking for pen and ink, sketched90 out a line or two of agreement. In the meantime Mrs. Billickin took a seat, and delivered a kind of Index to, or Abstract of, the general question.
‘Five-and-forty shillings per week by the month certain at the time of year,’ said Mrs. Billickin, ‘is only reasonable to both parties. It is not Bond Street nor yet St. James’s Palace; but it is not pretended that it is. Neither is it attempted to be denied — for why should it? — that the Arching leads to a mews. Mewses must exist. Respecting attendance; two is kep’, at liberal wages. Words has arisen as to tradesmen, but dirty shoes on fresh hearth– stoning was attributable, and no wish for a commission on your orders. Coals is either BY the fire, or per the scuttle92.’ She emphasised the prepositions as marking a subtle but immense difference. ‘Dogs is not viewed with favour. Besides litter, they gets stole, and sharing suspicions is apt to creep in, and unpleasantness takes place.’
By this time Mr. Grewgious had his agreement-lines, and his earnest-money, ready. ‘I have signed it for the ladies, ma’am,’ he said, ‘and you’ll have the goodness to sign it for yourself, Christian93 and Surname, there, if you please.’
‘Mr. Grewgious,’ said Mrs. Billickin in a new burst of candour, ‘no, sir! You must excuse the Christian name.’
Mr. Grewgious stared at her.
‘The door-plate is used as a protection,’ said Mrs. Billickin, ‘and acts as such, and go from it I will not.’
Mr. Grewgious stared at Rosa.
‘No, Mr. Grewgious, you must excuse me. So long as this ’ouse is known indefinite as Billickin’s, and so long as it is a doubt with the riff-raff where Billickin may be hidin’, near the street-door or down the airy, and what his weight and size, so long I feel safe. But commit myself to a solitary94 female statement, no, Miss! Nor would you for a moment wish,’ said Mrs. Billickin, with a strong sense of injury, ‘to take that advantage of your sex, if you were not brought to it by inconsiderate example.’
Rosa reddening as if she had made some most disgraceful attempt to overreach the good lady, besought95 Mr. Grewgious to rest content with any signature. And accordingly, in a baronial way, the sign-manual Billickin got appended to the document.
Details were then settled for taking possession on the next day but one, when Miss Twinkleton might be reasonably expected; and Rosa went back to Furnival’s Inn on her guardian’s arm.
Behold96 Mr. Tartar walking up and down Furnival’s Inn, checking himself when he saw them coming, and advancing towards them!
‘It occurred to me,’ hinted Mr. Tartar, ‘that we might go up the river, the weather being so delicious and the tide serving. I have a boat of my own at the Temple Stairs.’
‘I have not been up the river for this many a day,’ said Mr. Grewgious, tempted91.
‘I was never up the river,’ added Rosa.
Within half an hour they were setting this matter right by going up the river. The tide was running with them, the afternoon was charming. Mr. Tartar’s boat was perfect. Mr. Tartar and Lobley (Mr. Tartar’s man) pulled a pair of oars25. Mr. Tartar had a yacht, it seemed, lying somewhere down by Greenhithe; and Mr. Tartar’s man had charge of this yacht, and was detached upon his present service. He was a jolly-favoured man, with tawny97 hair and whiskers, and a big red face. He was the dead image of the sun in old woodcuts, his hair and whiskers answering for rays all around him. Resplendent in the bow of the boat, he was a shining sight, with a man-of-war’s man’s shirt on — or off, according to opinion — and his arms and breast tattooed98 all sorts of patterns. Lobley seemed to take it easily, and so did Mr. Tartar; yet their oars bent99 as they pulled, and the boat bounded under them. Mr. Tartar talked as if he were doing nothing, to Rosa who was really doing nothing, and to Mr. Grewgious who was doing this much that he steered100 all wrong; but what did that matter, when a turn of Mr. Tartar’s skilful101 wrist, or a mere56 grin of Mr. Lobley’s over the bow, put all to rights! The tide bore them on in the gayest and most sparkling manner, until they stopped to dine in some ever– lastingly-green garden, needing no matter-of-fact identification here; and then the tide obligingly turned — being devoted102 to that party alone for that day; and as they floated idly among some osier-beds, Rosa tried what she could do in the rowing way, and came off splendidly, being much assisted; and Mr. Grewgious tried what he could do, and came off on his back, doubled up with an oar12 under his chin, being not assisted at all. Then there was an interval103 of rest under boughs104 (such rest!) what time Mr. Lobley mopped, and, arranging cushions, stretchers, and the like, danced the tight-rope the whole length of the boat like a man to whom shoes were a superstition105 and stockings slavery; and then came the sweet return among delicious odours of limes in bloom, and musical ripplings; and, all too soon, the great black city cast its shadow on the waters, and its dark bridges spanned them as death spans life, and the everlastingly-green garden seemed to be left for everlasting106, unregainable and far away.
Up the river
‘Cannot people get through life without gritty stages, I wonder?’ Rosa thought next day, when the town was very gritty again, and everything had a strange and an uncomfortable appearance of seeming to wait for something that wouldn’t come. NO. She began to think, that, now the Cloisterham school-days had glided107 past and gone, the gritty stages would begin to set in at intervals108 and make themselves wearily known!
Yet what did Rosa expect? Did she expect Miss Twinkleton? Miss Twinkleton duly came. Forth from her back parlour issued the Billickin to receive Miss Twinkleton, and War was in the Billickin’s eye from that fell moment.
Miss Twinkleton brought a quantity of luggage with her, having all Rosa’s as well as her own. The Billickin took it ill that Miss Twinkleton’s mind, being sorely disturbed by this luggage, failed to take in her personal identity with that clearness of perception which was due to its demands. Stateliness mounted her gloomy throne upon the Billickin’s brow in consequence. And when Miss Twinkleton, in agitation109 taking stock of her trunks and packages, of which she had seventeen, particularly counted in the Billickin herself as number eleven, the B. found it necessary to repudiate110.
‘Things cannot too soon be put upon the footing,’ said she, with a candour so demonstrative as to be almost obtrusive111, ‘that the person of the ’ouse is not a box nor yet a bundle, nor a carpet-bag. No, I am ’ily obleeged to you, Miss Twinkleton, nor yet a beggar.’
This last disclaimer had reference to Miss Twinkleton’s distractedly pressing two-and-sixpence on her, instead of the cabman.
Thus cast off, Miss Twinkleton wildly inquired, ‘which gentleman’ was to be paid? There being two gentlemen in that position (Miss Twinkleton having arrived with two cabs), each gentleman on being paid held forth his two-and-sixpence on the flat of his open hand, and, with a speechless stare and a dropped jaw112, displayed his wrong to heaven and earth. Terrified by this alarming spectacle, Miss Twinkleton placed another shilling in each hand; at the same time appealing to the law in flurried accents, and recounting her luggage this time with the two gentlemen in, who caused the total to come out complicated. Meanwhile the two gentlemen, each looking very hard at the last shilling grumblingly113, as if it might become eighteen-pence if he kept his eyes on it, descended114 the doorsteps, ascended115 their carriages, and drove away, leaving Miss Twinkleton on a bonnet-box in tears.
The Billickin beheld116 this manifestation117 of weakness without sympathy, and gave directions for ‘a young man to be got in’ to wrestle118 with the luggage. When that gladiator had disappeared from the arena119, peace ensued, and the new lodgers120 dined.
But the Billickin had somehow come to the knowledge that Miss Twinkleton kept a school. The leap from that knowledge to the inference that Miss Twinkleton set herself to teach her something, was easy. ‘But you don’t do it,’ soliloquised the Billickin; ‘I am not your pupil, whatever she,’ meaning Rosa, ‘may be, poor thing!’
Miss Twinkleton, on the other hand, having changed her dress and recovered her spirits, was animated121 by a bland122 desire to improve the occasion in all ways, and to be as serene123 a model as possible. In a happy compromise between her two states of existence, she had already become, with her workbasket before her, the equably vivacious124 companion with a slight judicious125 flavouring of information, when the Billickin announced herself.
‘I will not hide from you, ladies,’ said the B., enveloped126 in the shawl of state, ‘for it is not my character to hide neither my motives127 nor my actions, that I take the liberty to look in upon you to express a ’ope that your dinner was to your liking128. Though not Professed129 but Plain, still her wages should be a sufficient object to her to stimilate to soar above mere roast and biled.’
‘We dined very well indeed,’ said Rosa, ‘thank you.’
‘Accustomed,’ said Miss Twinkleton with a gracious air, which to the jealous ears of the Billickin seemed to add ‘my good woman’— ‘accustomed to a liberal and nutritious130, yet plain and salutary diet, we have found no reason to bemoan131 our absence from the ancient city, and the methodical household, in which the quiet routine of our lot has been hitherto cast.’
‘I did think it well to mention to my cook,’ observed the Billickin with a gush132 of candour, ‘which I ’ope you will agree with, Miss Twinkleton, was a right precaution, that the young lady being used to what we should consider here but poor diet, had better be brought forward by degrees. For, a rush from scanty133 feeding to generous feeding, and from what you may call messing to what you may call method, do require a power of constitution which is not often found in youth, particular when undermined by boarding-school!’
It will be seen that the Billickin now openly pitted herself against Miss Twinkleton, as one whom she had fully20 ascertained134 to be her natural enemy.
‘Your remarks,’ returned Miss Twinkleton, from a remote moral eminence135, ‘are well meant, I have no doubt; but you will permit me to observe that they develop a mistaken view of the subject, which can only be imputed136 to your extreme want of accurate information.’
‘My informiation,’ retorted the Billickin, throwing in an extra syllable137 for the sake of emphasis at once polite and powerful —‘my informiation, Miss Twinkleton, were my own experience, which I believe is usually considered to be good guidance. But whether so or not, I was put in youth to a very genteel boarding-school, the mistress being no less a lady than yourself, of about your own age or it may be some years younger, and a poorness of blood flowed from the table which has run through my life.’
‘Very likely,’ said Miss Twinkleton, still from her distant eminence; ‘and very much to be deplored138. — Rosa, my dear, how are you getting on with your work?’
‘Miss Twinkleton,’ resumed the Billickin, in a courtly manner, ‘before retiring on the ’int, as a lady should, I wish to ask of yourself, as a lady, whether I am to consider that my words is doubted?’
‘I am not aware on what ground you cherish such a supposition,’ began Miss Twinkleton, when the Billickin neatly139 stopped her.
‘Do not, if you please, put suppositions betwixt my lips where none such have been imparted by myself. Your flow of words is great, Miss Twinkleton, and no doubt is expected from you by your pupils, and no doubt is considered worth the money. NO doubt, I am sure. But not paying for flows of words, and not asking to be favoured with them here, I wish to repeat my question.’
‘If you refer to the poverty of your circulation,’ began Miss Twinkleton, when again the Billickin neatly stopped her.
‘I have used no such expressions.’
‘If you refer, then, to the poorness of your blood —’
‘Brought upon me,’ stipulated140 the Billickin, expressly, ‘at a boarding-school —’
‘Then,’ resumed Miss Twinkleton, ‘all I can say is, that I am bound to believe, on your asseveration, that it is very poor indeed. I cannot forbear adding, that if that unfortunate circumstance influences your conversation, it is much to be lamented141, and it is eminently142 desirable that your blood were richer. — Rosa, my dear, how are you getting on with your work?’
‘Hem! Before retiring, Miss,’ proclaimed the Billickin to Rosa, loftily cancelling Miss Twinkleton, ‘I should wish it to be understood between yourself and me that my transactions in future is with you alone. I know no elderly lady here, Miss, none older than yourself.’
‘A highly desirable arrangement, Rosa my dear,’ observed Miss Twinkleton.
‘It is not, Miss,’ said the Billickin, with a sarcastic143 smile, ‘that I possess the Mill I have heard of, in which old single ladies could be ground up young (what a gift it would be to some of us), but that I limit myself to you totally.’
‘When I have any desire to communicate a request to the person of the house, Rosa my dear,’ observed Miss Twinkleton with majestic144 cheerfulness, ‘I will make it known to you, and you will kindly undertake, I am sure, that it is conveyed to the proper quarter.’
‘Good-evening, Miss,’ said the Billickin, at once affectionately and distantly. ‘Being alone in my eyes, I wish you good-evening with best wishes, and do not find myself drove, I am truly ’appy to say, into expressing my contempt for an indiwidual, unfortunately for yourself, belonging to you.’
The Billickin gracefully145 withdrew with this parting speech, and from that time Rosa occupied the restless position of shuttlecock between these two battledores. Nothing could be done without a smart match being played out. Thus, on the daily-arising question of dinner, Miss Twinkleton would say, the three being present together:
‘Perhaps, my love, you will consult with the person of the house, whether she can procure146 us a lamb’s fry; or, failing that, a roast fowl147.’
On which the Billickin would retort (Rosa not having spoken a word), ‘If you was better accustomed to butcher’s meat, Miss, you would not entertain the idea of a lamb’s fry. Firstly, because lambs has long been sheep, and secondly148, because there is such things as killing-days, and there is not. As to roast fowls149, Miss, why you must be quite surfeited150 with roast fowls, letting alone your buying, when you market for yourself, the agedest of poultry151 with the scaliest of legs, quite as if you was accustomed to picking ’em out for cheapness. Try a little inwention, Miss. Use yourself to ’ousekeeping a bit. Come now, think of somethink else.’
To this encouragement, offered with the indulgent toleration of a wise and liberal expert, Miss Twinkleton would rejoin, reddening:
‘Or, my dear, you might propose to the person of the house a duck.’
‘Well, Miss!’ the Billickin would exclaim (still no word being spoken by Rosa), ‘you do surprise me when you speak of ducks! Not to mention that they’re getting out of season and very dear, it really strikes to my heart to see you have a duck; for the breast, which is the only delicate cuts in a duck, always goes in a direction which I cannot imagine where, and your own plate comes down so miserably152 skin-and-bony! Try again, Miss. Think more of yourself, and less of others. A dish of sweetbreads now, or a bit of mutton. Something at which you can get your equal chance.’
Occasionally the game would wax very brisk indeed, and would be kept up with a smartness rendering153 such an encounter as this quite tame. But the Billickin almost invariably made by far the higher score; and would come in with side hits of the most unexpected and extraordinary description, when she seemed without a chance.
All this did not improve the gritty state of things in London, or the air that London had acquired in Rosa’s eyes of waiting for something that never came. Tired of working, and conversing154 with Miss Twinkleton, she suggested working and reading: to which Miss Twinkleton readily assented, as an admirable reader, of tried powers. But Rosa soon made the discovery that Miss Twinkleton didn’t read fairly. She cut the love-scenes, interpolated passages in praise of female celibacy155, and was guilty of other glaring pious156 frauds. As an instance in point, take the glowing passage: ‘Ever dearest and best adored — said Edward, clasping the dear head to his breast, and drawing the silken hair through his caressing157 fingers, from which he suffered it to fall like golden rain — ever dearest and best adored, let us fly from the unsympathetic world and the sterile158 coldness of the stony-hearted, to the rich warm Paradise of Trust and Love.’ Miss Twinkleton’s fraudulent version tamely ran thus: ‘Ever engaged to me with the consent of our parents on both sides, and the approbation159 of the silver-haired rector of the district — said Edward, respectfully raising to his lips the taper160 fingers so skilful in embroidery161, tambour, crochet162, and other truly feminine arts — let me call on thy papa ere to-morrow’s dawn has sunk into the west, and propose a suburban163 establishment, lowly it may be, but within our means, where he will be always welcome as an evening guest, and where every arrangement shall invest economy, and constant interchange of scholastic164 acquirements with the attributes of the ministering angel to domestic bliss165.’
As the days crept on and nothing happened, the neighbours began to say that the pretty girl at Billickin’s, who looked so wistfully and so much out of the gritty windows of the drawing-room, seemed to be losing her spirits. The pretty girl might have lost them but for the accident of lighting166 on some books of voyages and sea-adventure. As a compensation against their romance, Miss Twinkleton, reading aloud, made the most of all the latitudes167 and longitudes168, bearings, winds, currents, offsets169, and other statistics (which she felt to be none the less improving because they expressed nothing whatever to her); while Rosa, listening intently, made the most of what was nearest to her heart. So they both did better than before.
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1
chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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emancipated
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| adj.被解放的，不受约束的v.解放某人（尤指摆脱政治、法律或社会的束缚）( emancipate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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4
burnished
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| adj.抛光的，光亮的v.擦亮（金属等），磨光( burnish的过去式和过去分词 )；被擦亮，磨光 | |
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brazen
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| adj.厚脸皮的，无耻的，坚硬的 | |
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speck
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| n.微粒，小污点，小斑点 | |
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sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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locker
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| n.更衣箱，储物柜，冷藏室，上锁的人 | |
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lockers
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| n.寄物柜( locker的名词复数 ) | |
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10
contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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snug
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| adj.温暖舒适的，合身的，安全的；v.使整洁干净，舒适地依靠，紧贴；n.（英）酒吧里的私房 | |
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12
oar
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| n.桨，橹，划手；v.划行 | |
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implements
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| n.工具( implement的名词复数 )；家具；手段；[法律]履行（契约等）v.实现( implement的第三人称单数 )；执行；贯彻；使生效 | |
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14
slovenly
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| adj.懒散的，不整齐的，邋遢的 | |
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reptiles
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| n.爬行动物，爬虫( reptile的名词复数 ) | |
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16
varnish
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| n.清漆；v.上清漆；粉饰 | |
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17
obliterate
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| v.擦去，涂抹，去掉...痕迹，消失，除去 | |
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18
awning
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| n.遮阳篷；雨篷 | |
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19
delightfully
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| 大喜，欣然 | |
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20
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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gallantly
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| adv. 漂亮地，勇敢地，献殷勤地 | |
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gallant
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| adj.英勇的，豪侠的；(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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23
slung
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| 抛( sling的过去式和过去分词 )； 吊挂； 遣送； 押往 | |
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24
hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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25
oars
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| n.桨，橹( oar的名词复数 )；划手v.划（行）( oar的第三人称单数 ) | |
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26
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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27
droll
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| adj.古怪的，好笑的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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30
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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31
beseeching
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| adj.恳求似的v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的现在分词 ) | |
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32
dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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33
mantling
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| 覆巾 | |
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34
expressively
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| ad.表示(某事物)地；表达地 | |
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35
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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36
compassionate
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| adj.有同情心的，表示同情的 | |
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37
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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38
propounded
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| v.提出（问题、计划等）供考虑[讨论]，提议( propound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39
minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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40
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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41
maligning
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| vt.污蔑，诽谤（malign的现在分词形式） | |
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42
wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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43
acquiescing
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| v.默认，默许( acquiesce的现在分词 ) | |
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44
brigand
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| n.土匪，强盗 | |
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45
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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46
sedately
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| adv.镇静地，安详地 | |
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47
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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48
isolate
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| vt.使孤立，隔离 | |
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49
darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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50
ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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51
guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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52
rosebud
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| n.蔷薇花蕾，妙龄少女 | |
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53
malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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54
superfluous
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| adj.过多的，过剩的，多余的 | |
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55
entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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56
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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57
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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58
enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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59
celestial
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| adj.天体的；天上的 | |
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60
profusely
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| ad.abundantly | |
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61
recess
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| n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处） | |
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62
metropolitan
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| adj.大城市的，大都会的 | |
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63
lodging
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| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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64
assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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65
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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66
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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67
tortuously
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68
divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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69
solicited
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| v.恳求( solicit的过去式和过去分词 )；（指娼妇）拉客；索求；征求 | |
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70
lodger
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| n.寄宿人，房客 | |
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71
lucidly
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| adv.清透地，透明地 | |
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72
organisation
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| n.组织，安排，团体，有机休 | |
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73
languishing
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| a. 衰弱下去的 | |
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74
aspirational
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| 志同的，有抱负的 | |
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75
candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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76
cosily
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| adv.舒适地，惬意地 | |
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77
outlay
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| n.费用，经费，支出；v.花费 | |
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78
tenant
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| n.承租人；房客；佃户；v.租借，租用 | |
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79
deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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80
slates
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| （旧时学生用以写字的）石板( slate的名词复数 )； 板岩； 石板瓦； 石板色 | |
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81
rattle
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| v.飞奔，碰响；激怒；n.碰撞声；拨浪鼓 | |
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82
pint
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| n.品脱 | |
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83
sop
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| n.湿透的东西，懦夫；v.浸，泡，浸湿 | |
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84
pickle
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| n.腌汁，泡菜；v.腌，泡 | |
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85
inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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86
antiquity
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| n.古老；高龄；古物，古迹 | |
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87
enrolled
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| adj.入学登记了的v.[亦作enrol]( enroll的过去式和过去分词 )；登记，招收，使入伍（或入会、入学等），参加，成为成员；记入名册；卷起，包起 | |
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88
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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89
consultation
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| n.咨询；商量；商议；会议 | |
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90
sketched
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| v.草拟（sketch的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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91
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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92
scuttle
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| v.急赶，疾走，逃避；n.天窗；舷窗 | |
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93
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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94
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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95
besought
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| v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的过去式和过去分词 )；(beseech的过去式与过去分词) | |
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96
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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97
tawny
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| adj.茶色的，黄褐色的；n.黄褐色 | |
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98
tattooed
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| v.刺青，文身( tattoo的过去式和过去分词 )；连续有节奏地敲击；作连续有节奏的敲击 | |
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99
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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100
steered
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| v.驾驶( steer的过去式和过去分词 )；操纵；控制；引导 | |
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101
skilful
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| (=skillful)adj.灵巧的，熟练的 | |
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102
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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103
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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104
boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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105
superstition
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| n.迷信，迷信行为 | |
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106
everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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107
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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108
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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109
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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110
repudiate
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| v.拒绝，拒付，拒绝履行 | |
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111
obtrusive
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| adj.显眼的；冒失的 | |
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112
jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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113
grumblingly
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| 喃喃报怨着，发牢骚着 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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manifestation
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| n.表现形式；表明；现象 | |
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wrestle
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| vi.摔跤，角力；搏斗；全力对付 | |
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arena
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| n.竞技场，运动场所；竞争场所，舞台 | |
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lodgers
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| n.房客，租住者( lodger的名词复数 ) | |
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animated
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| adj.生气勃勃的，活跃的，愉快的 | |
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bland
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| adj.淡而无味的，温和的，无刺激性的 | |
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serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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vivacious
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| adj.活泼的，快活的 | |
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judicious
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| adj.明智的，明断的，能作出明智决定的 | |
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enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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professed
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| 公开声称的，伪称的，已立誓信教的 | |
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nutritious
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| adj.有营养的，营养价值高的 | |
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bemoan
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| v.悲叹，哀泣，痛哭；惋惜，不满于 | |
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gush
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| v.喷，涌；滔滔不绝(说话)；n.喷，涌流；迸发 | |
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scanty
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| adj.缺乏的，仅有的，节省的，狭小的，不够的 | |
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ascertained
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| v.弄清，确定，查明( ascertain的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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eminence
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| n.卓越，显赫；高地，高处；名家 | |
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imputed
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| v.把（错误等）归咎于( impute的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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syllable
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| n.音节；vt.分音节 | |
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deplored
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| v.悲叹，痛惜，强烈反对( deplore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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neatly
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| adv.整洁地，干净地，灵巧地，熟练地 | |
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stipulated
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| vt.& vi.规定；约定adj.[法]合同规定的 | |
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lamented
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| adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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eminently
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| adv.突出地；显著地；不寻常地 | |
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sarcastic
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| adj.讥讽的，讽刺的，嘲弄的 | |
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majestic
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| adj.雄伟的，壮丽的，庄严的，威严的，崇高的 | |
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gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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146
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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fowl
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| n.家禽，鸡，禽肉 | |
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secondly
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| adv.第二，其次 | |
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fowls
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| 鸟( fowl的名词复数 )； 禽肉； 既不是这； 非驴非马 | |
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surfeited
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| v.吃得过多( surfeit的过去式和过去分词 )；由于过量而厌腻 | |
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poultry
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| n.家禽，禽肉 | |
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152
miserably
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| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
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rendering
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| n.表现，描写 | |
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conversing
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 ) | |
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celibacy
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| n.独身(主义) | |
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pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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sterile
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| adj.不毛的，不孕的，无菌的，枯燥的，贫瘠的 | |
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approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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taper
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| n.小蜡烛，尖细，渐弱；adj.尖细的；v.逐渐变小 | |
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embroidery
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| n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品 | |
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162
crochet
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| n.钩针织物；v.用钩针编制 | |
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163
suburban
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| adj.城郊的，在郊区的 | |
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scholastic
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| adj.学校的，学院的，学术上的 | |
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165
bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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166
lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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167
latitudes
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| 纬度 | |
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168
longitudes
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| 经度 | |
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169
offsets
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| n.开端( offset的名词复数 )；出发v.抵消( offset的第三人称单数 )；补偿；（为了比较的目的而）把…并列（或并置）；为（管道等）装支管 | |
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