First Extract.
. . . . “A month to-day since we were married! I have only one thing to say: I would cheerfully go through all that I have suffered to live this one month over again. I never knew what happiness was until now. And better still, I have persuaded Mercy that it is all her doing. I have scattered1 her misgivings2 to the winds; she is obliged to submit to evidence, and to own that she can make the happiness of my life.
“We go back to London to-morrow. She regrets leaving the tranquil3 retirement4 of this remote sea-side place — she dreads5 change. I care nothing for it. It is all one to me where I go, so long as my wife is with me.”
Second Extract.
“The first cloud has risen. I entered the room unexpectedly just now, and found her in tears.
“With considerable difficulty I persuaded her to tell me what had happened. Are there any limits to the mischief7 that can be done by the tongue of a foolish woman? The landlady8 at my lodgings9 is the woman, in this case. Having no decided10 plans for the future as yet, we returned (most unfortunately, as the event has proved) to the rooms in London which I inhabited in my bachelor days. They are still mine for six weeks to come, and Mercy was unwilling11 to let me incur12 the expense of taking her to a hotel. At breakfast this morning I rashly congratulated myself (in my wife’s hearing) on finding that a much smaller collection than usual of letters and cards had accumulated in my absence. Breakfast over, I was obliged to go out. Painfully sensitive, poor thing, to any change in my experience of the little world around me which it is possible to connect with the event of my marriage, Mercy questioned the landlady, in my absence, about the diminished number of my visitors and my correspondents. The woman seized the opportunity of gossiping about me and my affairs, and my wife’s quick perception drew the right conclusion unerringly. My marriage has decided certain wise heads of families on discontinuing their social relations with me. The facts, unfortunately, speak for themselves. People who in former years habitually13 called upon me and invited me — or who, in the event of my absence, habitually wrote to me at this season — have abstained15 with a remarkable16 unanimity17 from calling, inviting18, or writing now.
“It would have been sheer waste of time — to say nothing of its also implying a want of confidence in my wife — if I had attempted to set things right by disputing Mercy’s conclusion. I could only satisfy her that not so much as the shadow of disappointment or mortification19 rested on my mind. In this way I have, to some extent, succeeded in composing my poor darling. But the wound has been inflicted20, and the wound is felt. There is no disguising that result. I must face it boldly.
“Trifling as this incident is in my estimation, it has decided me on one point already. In shaping my future course I am now resolved to act on my own convictions — in preference to taking the well-meant advice of such friends as are still left to me.
“All my little success in life has been gained in the pulpit. I am what is termed a popular preacher — but I have never, in my secret self, felt any exultation21 in my own notoriety, or any extraordinary respect for the means by which it has been won. In the first place, I have a very low idea of the importance of oratory22 as an intellectual accomplishment23. There is no other art in which the conditions of success are so easy of attainment24; there is no other art in the practice of which so much that is purely25 superficial passes itself off habitually for something that claims to be profound. Then, again, how poor it is in the results which it achieves! Take my own case. How often (for example) have I thundered with all my heart and soul against the wicked extravagance of dress among women — against their filthy26 false hair and their nauseous powders and paints! How often (to take another example) have I denounced the mercenary and material spirit of the age — the habitual14 corruptions27 and dishonesties of commerce, in high places and in low! What good have I done? I have delighted the very people whom it was my object to rebuke28. ‘What a charming sermon!’ ‘More eloquent29 than ever!’ ‘I used to dread6 the sermon at the other church — do you know, I quite look forward to it now.’ That is the effect I produce on Sunday. On Monday the women are off to the milliners to spend more money than ever; the city men are off to business to make more money than ever — while my grocer, loud in my praises in his Sunday coat, turns up his week-day sleeves and adulterates his favorite preacher’s sugar as cheerfully as usual!
“I have often, in past years, felt the objections to pursuing my career which are here indicated. They were bitterly present to my mind when I resigned my curacy, and they strongly influence me now.
“I am weary of my cheaply won success in the pulpit. I am weary of society as I find it in my time. I felt some respect for myself, and some heart and hope in my works among the miserable30 wretches31 in Green Anchor Fields. But I can not, and must not, return among them: I have no right, now, to trifle with my health and my life. I must go back to my preaching, or I must leave England. Among a primitive32 people, away from the cities — in the far and fertile West of the great American continent — I might live happily with my wife, and do good among my neighbors, secure of providing for our wants out of the modest little income which is almost useless to me here. In the life which I thus picture to myself I see love, peace, health, and duties and occupations that are worthy33 of a Christian34 man. What prospect35 is before me if I take the advice of my friends and stay here? Work of which I am weary, because I have long since ceased to respect it; petty malice36 that strikes at me through my wife, and mortifies37 and humiliates38 her, turn where she may. If I had only myself to think of, I might defy the worst that malice can do. But I have Mercy to think of — Mercy, whom I love better than my own life! Women live, poor things, in the opinions of others. I have had one warning already of what my wife is likely to suffer at the hands of my ‘friends’— Heaven forgive me for misusing39 the word! Shall I deliberately40 expose her to fresh mortifications? — and this for the sake of returning to a career the rewards of which I no longer prize? No! We will both be happy — we will both be free! God is merciful, Nature is kind, Love is true, in the New World as well as the Old. To the New World we will go!”
Third Extract.
“I hardly know whether I have done right or wrong. I mentioned yesterday to Lady Janet the cold reception of me on my return to London, and the painful sense of it felt by my wife.
“My aunt looks at the matter from her own peculiar41 point of view, and makes light of it accordingly. ‘You never did, and never will, understand Society, Julian,’ said her ladyship. ‘These poor stupid people simply don’t know what to do. They are waiting to be told by a person of distinction whether they are, or are not, to recognize your marriage. In plain English, they are waiting to be led by Me. Consider it done. I will lead them.’
“I thought my aunt was joking. The event of to-day has shown me that she is terribly in earnest. Lady Janet has issued invitations for one of her grand balls at Mablethorpe House; and sh e has caused the report to be circulated everywhere that the object of the festival is ‘to celebrate the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Julian Gray!’
“I at first refused to be present. To my amazement42, however, Mercy sides with my aunt. She reminds me of all that we both owe to Lady Janet; and she has persuaded me to alter my mind. We are to go to the ball — at my wife express request!
“The meaning of this, as I interpret it, is that my poor love is still pursued in secret by the dread that my marriage has injured me in the general estimation. She will suffer anything, risk anything, believe anything, to be freed from that one haunting doubt. Lady Janet predicts a social triumph; and my wife’s despair — not my wife’s conviction — accepts the prophecy. As for me, I am prepared for the result. It will end in our going to the New World, and trying Society in its infancy43, among the forests and the plains. I shall quietly prepare for our departure, and own what I have done at the right time — that is to say, when the ball is over.”
Fourth Extract.
“I have met with the man for my purpose — an old college friend of mine, now partner in a firm of ship-owners, largely concerned in emigration.
“One of their vessels44 sails for America, from the port of London, in a fortnight, touching45 at Plymouth. By a fortunate coincidence, Lady Janet’s ball takes place in a fortnight. I see my way.
“Helped by the kindness of my friend, I have arranged to have a cabin kept in reserve, on payment of a small deposit. If the ball ends (as I believe it will) in new mortifications for Mercy — do what they may, I defy them to mortify46 me— I have only to say the word by telegraph, and we shall catch the ship at Plymouth.
“I know the effect it will have when I break the news to her, but I am prepared with my remedy. The pages of my diary, written in past years, will show plainly enough that it is not she who is driving me away from England. She will see the longing47 in me for other work and other scenes expressing itself over and over again long before the time when we first met.”
Fifth Extract.
“Mercy’s ball dress — a present from kind Lady Janet — is finished. I was allowed to see the first trial, or preliminary rehearsal48, of this work of art. I don’t in the least understand the merits of silk and lace; but one thing I know — my wife will be the most beautiful woman at the ball.
“The same day I called on Lady Janet to thank her, and encountered a new revelation of the wayward and original character of my dear old aunt.
“She was on the point of tearing up a letter when I went into her room. Seeing me, she suspended her purpose and handed me the letter. It was in Mercy’s handwriting. Lady Janet pointed49 to a passage on the last page. ‘Tell your wife, with my love,’ she said, ‘that I am the most obstinate50 woman of the two. I positively51 refuse to read her, as I positively refuse to listen to her, whenever she attempts to return to that one subject. Now give me the letter back.’ I gave it back, and saw it torn up before my face. The ‘one subject’ prohibited to Mercy as sternly as ever is still the subject of the personation of Grace Roseberry! Nothing could have been more naturally introduced, or more delicately managed, than my wife’s brief reference to the subject. No matter. The reading of the first line was enough. Lady Janet shut her eyes and destroyed the letter — Lady Janet is determined52 to live and die absolutely ignorant of the true story of ‘Mercy Merrick.’ What unanswerable riddles53 we are! Is it wonderful if we perpetually fail to understand one another?”
Sixth Extract.
“The morning after the ball.
“It is done and over. Society has beaten Lady Janet. I have neither patience nor time to write at length of it. We leave for Plymouth by the afternoon express.
“We were rather late in arriving at the ball. The magnificent rooms were filling fast. Walking through them with my wife, she drew my attention to a circumstance which I had not noticed at the time. ‘Julian,’ she said, ‘look round among the lades, and tell me if you see anything strange.’ As I looked round the band began playing a waltz. I observed that a few people only passed by us to the dancing-room. I noticed next that of those few fewer still were young. At last it burst upon me. With certain exceptions (so rare as to prove the rule), there were no young girls at Lady Janet’s ball. I took Mercy at once back to the reception-room. Lady Janet’s face showed that she, too, was aware of what had happened. The guests were still arriving. We received the men and their wives, the men and their mothers, the men and their grandmothers — but, in place of their unmarried daughters, elaborate excuses, offered with a shameless politeness wonderful to see. Yes! This was how the matrons in high life had got over the difficulty of meeting Mrs. Julian Gray at Lady Janet’s house.
“Let me do strict justice to every one. The ladies who were present showed the needful respect for their hostess. They did their duty — no, overdid54 it, is perhaps the better phrase.
“I really had no adequate idea of the coarseness and rudeness which have filtered their way through society in these later times until I saw the reception accorded to my wife. The days of prudery and prejudice are days gone by. Excessive amiability55 and excessive liberality are the two favorite assumptions of the modern generation. To see the women expressing their liberal forgetfulness of my wifely misfortunes, and the men their amiable56 anxiety to encourage her husband; to hear the same set phrases repeated in every room —‘So charmed to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Gray; so much obliged to dear Lady Janet for giving us this opportunity! — Julian, old man, what a beautiful creature! I envy you; upon my honor, I envy you!’— to receive this sort of welcome, emphasized by obtrusive57 hand-shakings, sometimes actually by downright kissings of my wife, and then to look round and see that not one in thirty of these very people had brought their unmarried daughters to the ball, was, I honestly believe, to see civilized58 human nature in its basest conceivable aspect. The New World may have its disappointments in store for us, but it cannot possibly show us any spectacle so abject59 as the spectacle which we witnessed last night at my aunt’s ball.
“Lady Janet marked her sense of the proceeding60 adopted by her guests by leaving them to themselves. Her guests remained and supped heartily61 notwithstanding. They all knew by experience that there were no stale dishes and no cheap wines at Mablethorpe House. They drank to the end of the bottle, and they ate to the last truffle in the dish.
“Mercy and I had an interview with my aunt upstairs before we left. I felt it necessary to state plainly my resolution to leave England. The scene that followed was so painful that I cannot prevail on myself to return to it in these pages. My wife is reconciled to our departure; and Lady Janet accompanies us as far as Plymouth — these are the results. No words can express my sense of relief, now that it is all settled. The one sorrow I shall carry away with me from the shores of England will be the sorrow of parting with dear, warm-hearted Lady Janet. At her age it is a parting for life.
“So closes my connection with my own country. While I have Mercy by my side I face the unknown future, certain of carrying my happiness with me, go where I may. We shall find five hundred adventurers like ourselves when we join the emigrant62 ship, for whom their native land has no occupation and no home. Gentlemen of the Statistical63 Department, add two more to the number of social failures produced by England in the year of our Lord eighteen hundred and seventy-one — Julian Gray and Mercy Merrick.”
The End
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1
scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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2
misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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3
tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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4
retirement
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| n.退休，退职 | |
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5
dreads
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| n.恐惧，畏惧( dread的名词复数 )；令人恐惧的事物v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的第三人称单数 ) | |
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6
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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7
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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8
landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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10
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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11
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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12
incur
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| vt.招致，蒙受，遭遇 | |
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13
habitually
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| ad.习惯地，通常地 | |
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habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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15
abstained
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| v.戒（尤指酒），戒除( abstain的过去式和过去分词 )；弃权（不投票） | |
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16
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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17
unanimity
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| n.全体一致，一致同意 | |
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18
inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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mortification
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| n.耻辱，屈辱 | |
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20
inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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21
exultation
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| n.狂喜，得意 | |
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22
oratory
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| n.演讲术；词藻华丽的言辞 | |
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23
accomplishment
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| n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能 | |
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24
attainment
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| n.达到，到达；［常pl.］成就，造诣 | |
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25
purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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26
filthy
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| adj.卑劣的；恶劣的，肮脏的 | |
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27
corruptions
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| n.堕落( corruption的名词复数 )；腐化；腐败；贿赂 | |
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28
rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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29
eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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30
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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31
wretches
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| n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋 | |
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32
primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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33
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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35
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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36
malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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37
mortifies
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| v.使受辱( mortify的第三人称单数 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等） | |
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38
humiliates
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| 使蒙羞，羞辱，使丢脸( humiliate的第三人称单数 ) | |
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39
misusing
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| v.使用…不当( misuse的现在分词 )；把…派作不正当的用途；虐待；滥用 | |
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40
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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41
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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42
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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43
infancy
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| n.婴儿期；幼年期；初期 | |
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44
vessels
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| n.血管( vessel的名词复数 )；船；容器；（具有特殊品质或接受特殊品质的）人 | |
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45
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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46
mortify
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| v.克制，禁欲，使受辱 | |
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47
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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48
rehearsal
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| n.排练，排演；练习 | |
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49
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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50
obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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51
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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52
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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53
riddles
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| n.谜（语）( riddle的名词复数 )；猜不透的难题，难解之谜 | |
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54
overdid
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| v.做得过分( overdo的过去式 )；太夸张；把…煮得太久；（工作等）过度 | |
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55
amiability
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| n.和蔼可亲的，亲切的，友善的 | |
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56
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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57
obtrusive
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| adj.显眼的；冒失的 | |
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58
civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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59
abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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60
proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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61
heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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62
emigrant
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| adj.移居的，移民的；n.移居外国的人，移民 | |
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63
statistical
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| adj.统计的，统计学的 | |
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