During the course of my education, my landlord frequently carried me about the town, and pointed1 out the most remarkable2 things. Keba is the town next in size and importance to the capital of the kingdom of Potu. The inhabitants are distinguished3 for their sedateness4 and moderation; old age is more respected by them than by any other community. They are strangely addicted5 to the pitting of animals against each other; or, as they call it, “play fight.” I wondered that so moral a people could enjoy these brutal6 sports. My landlord noticed my surprise, and said, that throughout the kingdom it was the custom to vary their lives with a due mixture of earnest duties and amusing pleasures. Theatrical7 plays are very much in vogue8 with them. I was vexed9, however, to hear that disputations are reckoned suitable for the stage, while with us they are confined to the universities.
At certain times in the year, disputants are set against each other, as we pit dogs and game cocks. High bets are made in favor of one or the other, and a premium10 is given to the winner.
Beside these disputants, who are called Masbakki, or boxers11, various quadrupeds, wild as well as tame, are trained to fight as on our globe.
In this town a gymnasium is established, in which the liberal arts are taught with much success.
My landlord carried me, on a high festival day, to this academy. On this occasion a Madic, or teacher in philosophy, was elected. The candidate made a very prosy speech on some philosophical12 question, after which, without farther ceremony, he was entered, by the administrators13, on the list of the public teachers.
On our way home from the academy, we met a criminal, led by three watchmen. By sentence of the kaki, he had been bled, and was now on his way to the city hospital. I inquired concerning his crime, and was answered, that he had publicly lectured on the being and qualities of God — a subject entirely14 forbidden in this country. Disputants on these matters are regarded as insane, and are always sent to the mad-house, where they are doctored, until they recover their sound reason. I exclaimed: Heaven and Earth! how would such laws operate on our globe, where thousands of priests quarrel every day about the divine attributes, the nature of spirits, and other secrets of the same character? Truly, here they would all be sent straight-way to the mad-house. These, among many other singular customs, I observed during my college life. Finally, the time came when, furnished with appropriate testimonies15 from the teachers, I was ordered to court. Here is my certificate. How angry and confused, was I, when I read it:—
“In accordance with your royal order, we hereby send the animal, which sometime since came down to us from the firmament16; which animal calls itself man. We have, with sedulous17 care and patient industry, taught this singular creature in our school, and after a very severe examination, pronounce it to be very quick in its perceptions and very docile18 in its manners. Nevertheless, from its obtuse19 and miserable20 judgment21 — which we believe arises from its too hasty inferences — its ridiculous scepticism on unquestionable points, and its no less ridiculous credulity on doubtful ones, we may scarcely number it among sensible beings. However, as it is far quicker on its legs than any of our race, we humbly22 suggest, that it is very well adapted for the situation of a running-camp-footman. Written at our Seminary at Keba by your Highness’ most humble23 servants.
Nehek, Joktan, Rapasi, Kilak.“
I returned sorrowfully to my landlord, and begged of him with tears in my eyes, to use his influence to alter the nature of my certificate from the Karatti, and to show them my testimony24 from the academy of Copenhagen, in which I was represented as a remarkable student. He replied to me, “that this diploma might be well enough in Copenhagen, where probably the shadow was regarded more than the substance: the bark more than the sap; but here, where the kernel25 was more important than aught else, it was of no use.”
He counselled me to bear my fate with patience, and assured me, in the politest manner, of his friendship. Having nothing more to say, I made ready, without delay, for the journey. There travelled in company with me several small trees, which had been educated with me in the seminary, and were now destined26 to the capital for preferment.
Our leader was an old Karatti, who rode on an ox, because from his age he could not walk. Our progress was very slow, so that three days were occupied in our passage. We had a quick and comfortable jaunt27, if I except the meeting with some wild monkeys, that would spring towards me, and pester28 me now and then. They evidently supposed me to be one of their race. I could not suppress my anger, however, when I observed that the trees seemed to perceive this mistake of the monkeys, which gave the saplings food for laughter at my expense. I must remark that I was carried to court in the same dress which I wore on my descent to the planet, with the boat-hook in my hand and the rope dragging after me. This was by order of the king, who wished to see me in my own bark.
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1
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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sedateness
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| n.安详，镇静 | |
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addicted
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| adj.沉溺于....的，对...上瘾的 | |
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brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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theatrical
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| adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的 | |
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Vogue
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| n.时髦，时尚；adj.流行的 | |
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vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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premium
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| n.加付款；赠品；adj.高级的；售价高的 | |
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boxers
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| n.拳击短裤；（尤指职业）拳击手( boxer的名词复数 )；拳师狗 | |
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12
philosophical
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| adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的 | |
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administrators
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| n.管理者( administrator的名词复数 )；有管理（或行政）才能的人；（由遗嘱检验法庭指定的）遗产管理人；奉派暂管主教教区的牧师 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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testimonies
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| （法庭上证人的）证词( testimony的名词复数 )； 证明，证据 | |
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firmament
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| n.苍穹；最高层 | |
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sedulous
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| adj.勤勉的，努力的 | |
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docile
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| adj.驯服的，易控制的，容易教的 | |
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obtuse
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| adj.钝的；愚钝的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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25
kernel
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| n.(果实的)核，仁；(问题)的中心，核心 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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jaunt
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| v.短程旅游；n.游览 | |
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pester
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| v.纠缠，强求 | |
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