A Plan for A Prize Novel.

in a letter from the Eminent¹ Dramatist Brown to the Eminent Novelist Snooks.

“CAFE DES AVEUGLES.

“MY DEAR SNOOKS — I am on the look-out here for materials for original comedies such as those lately produced at your theatre; and, in the course of my studies, I have found something, my dear Snooks, which I think will suit your book. You are bringing, I see, your admirable novel, ‘The Mysteries of May Fair,’ to an end —(by the way, the scene, in the 200th number, between the Duke, his Grandmother, and the Jesuit Butler, is one of the most harrowing and exciting I ever read)— and, of course, you must turn your real genius to some other channel; and we may expect that your pen shall not be idle.

“The original plan I have to propose to you, then, is taken from the French, just like the original dramas above mentioned; and, indeed, I found it in the law report of the National newspaper, and a French literary gentleman, M. Emanuel Gonzales, has the credit of the invention. He and an advertisement agent fell out about a question of money, the affair was brought before the courts, and the little plot so got wind. But there is no reason why you should not take the plot and act on it yourself. You are a known man; the public relishes² your works; anything bearing the name of Snooks is eagerly read by the masses; and though Messrs. Hookey, of Holywell Street, pay you handsomely, I make no doubt you would like to be rewarded at a still higher figure.

“Unless he writes with a purpose, you know, a novelist in our days is good for nothing. This one writes with a socialist³ purpose; that with a conservative purpose: this author or authoress with the most delicate skill insinuates⁴ Catholicism into you, and you find yourself all but a Papist in the third volume: another doctors you with Low Church remedies to work inwardly upon you, and which you swallow down unsuspiciously, as children do calomel in jelly. Fiction advocates all sorts of truth and causes — doesn’t the delightful⁵ bard⁶ of the Minories find Moses in everything? M. Gonzales’s plan, and the one which I recommend to my dear Snooks, simply was to write an advertisement novel. Look over The Times or the ‘Directory,’ walk down Regent Street or Fleet Street any day — see what houses advertise most, and put yourself into communication with their proprietors⁷. With your rings, your chains, your studs, and the tip on your chin, I don’t know any greater swell⁸ than Bob Snooks. Walk into the shops, I say, ask for the principal, and introduce yourself, saying, ‘I am the great Snooks; I am the author of the “Mysteries of May Fair;” my weekly sale is 281,000; I am about to produce a new work called “The Palaces of Pimlico, or the Curse of the Court,” describing and lashing⁹ fearlessly the vices¹⁰ of the aristocracy; this book will have a sale of at least 530,000; it will be on every table — in the boudoir of the pampered¹¹ duke, as in the chamber¹² of the honest artisan. The myriads¹³ of foreigners who are coming to London, and are anxious to know about our national manners, will purchase my book, and carry it to their distant homes. So, Mr. Taylor, or Mr. Haberdasher, or Mr. Jeweller, how much will you stand if I recommend you in my forthcoming novel?’ You may make a noble income in this way, Snooks.

“For instance, suppose it is an upholsterer. What more easy, what more delightful, than the description of upholstery? As thus:—

“‘Lady Emily was reclining on one of Down and Eider’s voluptuous¹⁴ ottomans, the only couch on which Belgravian beauty now reposes¹⁵, when Lord Bathershins entered, stepping noiselessly over one of Tomkins’s elastic¹⁶ Axminster carpets. “Good heavens, my lord!” she said — and the lovely creature fainted. The Earl rushed to the mantel-piece, where he saw a flacon of Otto’s eau-de-Cologne, and,’ &c.

“Or say it’s a cheap furniture-shop, and it may be brought in just as easily, as thus:—

“‘We are poor, Eliza,’ said Harry¹⁷ Hardhand, looking affectionately at his wife, ‘but we have enough, love, have we not, for our humble¹⁸ wants? The rich and luxurious¹⁹ may go to Dillow’s or Gobiggin’s, but we can get our rooms comfortably furnished at Timmonson’s for 20L.’ And putting on her bonnet²⁰, and hanging affectionately on her husband, the stoker’s pretty bride tripped gayly to the well-known mart, where Timmonson, within his usual affability, was ready to receive them.

“Then you might have a touch at the wine-merchant and purveyor²¹. ‘Where did you get this delicious claret, or pate²² de fois gras, or what you please?’ said Count Blagowski to the gay young Sir Horace Swellmore. The voluptuous Bart answered, ‘At So-and-So’s, or So-and-So’s.’ The answer is obvious. You may furnish your cellar or your larder²³ in this way. Begad, Snooks! I lick my lips at the very idea.

“Then, as to tailors, milliners, bootmakers, &c., how easy to get a word for them! Amranson, the tailor, waited upon Lord Paddington with an assortment²⁵ of his unrivalled waistcoats, or clad in that simple but aristocratic style of which Schneider ALONE has the secret. Parvy Newcome really looked like a gentleman, and though corpulent and crooked²⁶, Schneider had managed to give him, &c. Don’t you see what a stroke of business you might do in this way.

“The shoemaker. — Lady Fanny flew, rather than danced, across the ball-room; only a Sylphide, or Taglioni, or a lady chausseed by Chevillett of Bond Street could move in that fairy way; and

“The hairdresser. —‘Count Barbarossa is seventy years of age,’ said the Earl. ‘I remember him at the Congress of Vienna, and he has not a single gray hair.’ Wiggins laughed. ‘My good Lord Baldock,’ said the old wag, ‘I saw Barbarossa’s hair coming out of Ducroissant’s shop, and under his valet’s arm — ho! ho! ho!’— and the two bon-vivans chuckled²⁷ as the Count passed by, talking with, &c. &c.

“The gunmaker. —‘The antagonists²⁸ faced each other; and undismayed before his gigantic enemy, Kilconnel raised his pistol. It was one of Clicker’s manufacture, and Sir Marmaduke knew he could trust the maker²⁴ and the weapon. “One, two, THREE,” cried O’Tool, and the two pistols went off at that instant, and uttering a terrific curse, the Lifeguardsman,’ &c. — A sentence of this nature from your pen, my dear Snooks, would, I should think, bring a case of pistols and a double-barrelled gun to your lodgings²⁹; and, though heaven forbid you should use such weapons, you might sell them, you know, and we could make merry with the proceeds.

“If my hint is of any use to you, it is quite at your service, dear Snooks; and should anything come of it, I hope you will remember your friend.”

The End

1 eminent   

adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的

参考例句：

• We are expecting the arrival of an eminent scientist.我们正期待一位著名科学家的来访。
• He is an eminent citizen of China.他是一个杰出的中国公民。

2 relishes   

n.滋味( relish的名词复数 )；乐趣；（大量的）享受；快乐v.欣赏( relish的第三人称单数 )；从…获得乐趣；渴望

参考例句：

• The meat relishes of pork. 这肉有猪肉味。 来自辞典例句
• The biography relishes too much of romance. 这篇传记中传奇色彩太浓。 来自辞典例句

3 socialist   

n.社会主义者；adj.社会主义的

参考例句：

• China is a socialist country,and a developing country as well.中国是一个社会主义国家，也是一个发展中国家。
• His father was an ardent socialist.他父亲是一个热情的社会主义者。

4 insinuates   

n.暗示( insinuate的名词复数 )；巧妙或迂回地潜入；（使）缓慢进入；慢慢伸入v.暗示( insinuate的第三人称单数 )；巧妙或迂回地潜入；（使）缓慢进入；慢慢伸入

参考例句：

• Slang insinuates itself into the language. 俚语慢慢地渗入语言中。 来自辞典例句
• But the division of labor slowly insinuates itself into this process of production. 但是，分工慢慢地侵入了这种生产过程。 来自英汉非文学 - 家庭、私有制和国家的起源

5 delightful   

adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的

参考例句：

• We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
• Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。

6 bard   

n.吟游诗人

参考例句：

• I'll use my bard song to help you concentrate!我会用我的吟游诗人歌曲帮你集中精神！
• I find him,the wandering grey bard.我发现了正在徘徊的衰老游唱诗人。

7 proprietors   

n.所有人，业主( proprietor的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• These little proprietors of businesses are lords indeed on their own ground. 这些小业主们，在他们自己的行当中，就是真正的至高无上的统治者。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
• Many proprietors try to furnish their hotels with antiques. 许多经营者都想用古董装饰他们的酒店。 来自辞典例句

8 swell   

vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强

参考例句：

• The waves had taken on a deep swell.海浪汹涌。
• His injured wrist began to swell.他那受伤的手腕开始肿了。

9 lashing   

n.鞭打；痛斥；大量；许多v.鞭打( lash的现在分词 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥

参考例句：

• The speaker was lashing the crowd. 演讲人正在煽动人群。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The rain was lashing the windows. 雨急打着窗子。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 vices   

缺陷( vice的名词复数 )； 恶习； 不道德行为； 台钳

参考例句：

• In spite of his vices, he was loved by all. 尽管他有缺点，还是受到大家的爱戴。
• He vituperated from the pulpit the vices of the court. 他在教堂的讲坛上责骂宫廷的罪恶。

11 pampered   

adj.饮食过量的，饮食奢侈的v.纵容，宠，娇养( pamper的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The lazy scum deserve worse. What if they ain't fed up and pampered? 他们吃不饱，他们的要求满足不了，这又有什么关系？ 来自飘（部分）
• She petted and pampered him and would let no one discipline him but she, herself. 她爱他，娇养他，而且除了她自己以外，她不允许任何人管教他。 来自辞典例句

12 chamber   

n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所

参考例句：

• For many,the dentist's surgery remains a torture chamber.对许多人来说，牙医的治疗室一直是间受刑室。
• The chamber was ablaze with light.会议厅里灯火辉煌。

13 myriads   

n.无数，极大数量( myriad的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Each galaxy contains myriads of stars. 每一星系都有无数的恒星。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The sky was set with myriads of stars. 无数星星点缀着夜空。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

14 voluptuous   

adj.肉欲的，骄奢淫逸的

参考例句：

• The nobility led voluptuous lives.贵族阶层过着骄奢淫逸的生活。
• The dancer's movements were slow and voluptuous.舞女的动作缓慢而富挑逗性。

15 reposes   

v.将（手臂等）靠在某人（某物）上( repose的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• Below this stone reposes the mortal remains of his father. 在此石块下长眠的是他的父亲的遗体。 来自辞典例句
• His body reposes in the local church. 他的遗体安放在当地教堂里。 来自辞典例句

16 elastic   

n.橡皮圈，松紧带；adj.有弹性的；灵活的

参考例句：

• Rubber is an elastic material.橡胶是一种弹性材料。
• These regulations are elastic.这些规定是有弹性的。

17 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

18 humble   

adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低

参考例句：

• In my humble opinion,he will win the election.依我拙见，他将在选举中获胜。
• Defeat and failure make people humble.挫折与失败会使人谦卑。

19 luxurious   

adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的

参考例句：

• This is a luxurious car complete with air conditioning and telephone.这是一辆附有空调设备和电话的豪华轿车。
• The rich man lives in luxurious surroundings.这位富人生活在奢侈的环境中。

20 bonnet   

n.无边女帽；童帽

参考例句：

• The baby's bonnet keeps the sun out of her eyes.婴孩的帽子遮住阳光，使之不刺眼。
• She wore a faded black bonnet garnished with faded artificial flowers.她戴着一顶褪了色的黑色无边帽，帽上缀着褪了色的假花。

21 purveyor   

n.承办商，伙食承办商

参考例句：

• Silence, purveyor of gossip, do not spread that report. 快别那样说，新闻记者阁下，别散布那个消息。 来自互联网
• Teaching purpose: To comprehensively understand the role function and consciousness composition of a news purveyor. 教学目的：全面深入的理解新闻传播者的角色功能和意识构成。 来自互联网

22 pate   

n.头顶；光顶

参考例句：

• The few strands of white hair at the back of his gourd-like pate also quivered.他那长在半个葫芦样的头上的白发，也随着笑声一齐抖动着。
• He removed his hat to reveal a glowing bald pate.他脱下帽子，露出了发亮的光头。

23 larder   

n.食物贮藏室，食品橱

参考例句：

• Please put the food into the larder.请将您地食物放进食物柜内。
• They promised never to raid the larder again.他们答应不再随便开食橱拿东西吃了。

24 maker   

n.制造者，制造商

参考例句：

• He is a trouble maker，You must be distant with him.他是个捣蛋鬼，你不要跟他在一起。
• A cabinet maker must be a master craftsman.家具木工必须是技艺高超的手艺人。

25 assortment   

n.分类，各色俱备之物，聚集

参考例句：

• This shop has a good assortment of goods to choose from.该店各色货物俱全，任君选择。
• She was wearing an odd assortment of clothes.她穿着奇装异服。

26 crooked   

adj.弯曲的；不诚实的，狡猾的，不正当的

参考例句：

• He crooked a finger to tell us to go over to him.他弯了弯手指，示意我们到他那儿去。
• You have to drive slowly on these crooked country roads.在这些弯弯曲曲的乡间小路上你得慢慢开车。

27 chuckled   

轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She chuckled at the memory. 想起这件事她就暗自发笑。
• She chuckled softly to herself as she remembered his astonished look. 想起他那惊讶的表情，她就轻轻地暗自发笑。

28 antagonists   

对立[对抗] 者，对手，敌手( antagonist的名词复数 )； 对抗肌； 对抗药

参考例句：

• The cavalier defeated all the antagonists. 那位骑士打败了所有的敌手。
• The result was the entire reconstruction of the navies of both the antagonists. 双方的海军就从这场斗争里获得了根本的改造。

29 lodgings   

n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍

参考例句：

• When he reached his lodgings the sun had set. 他到达公寓房间时，太阳已下山了。
• I'm on the hunt for lodgings. 我正在寻找住所。