“Non dispetto, ma doglia.”
Dante.
Oscar Wilde did not stay long in Naples, a few brief months; the forbidden fruit quickly turned to ashes in his mouth.
I give the following extracts from a letter he wrote to Robert Ross in December, 1897, shortly after leaving Naples, because it describes the second great crisis in his life and is besides the bitterest thing he ever wrote and therefore of peculiar1 value:
“The facts of Naples are very bald. Bosie for four months, by endless lies, offered me a home. He offered me love, affection, and care, and promised that I should never want for anything. After four months I accepted his offer, but when we met on our way to Naples, I found he had no money, no plans, and had forgotten all his promises. His one idea was that I should raise the money for us both; I did so to the extent of £120. On this Bosie lived quite happy. When it came to his having to pay his own share he became terribly unkind and penurious2, except where his own pleasures were concerned, and when my allowance ceased, he left.
“With regard to the £50037 which he said was a debt of honour, he has written to me to say that he admits the debt of honour, but as lots of gentlemen don’t pay their debts of honour, it is quite a common thing and no one thinks any the worse of them.
“I don’t know what you said to Constance, but the bald fact is that I accepted the offer of the home, and found that I was expected to provide the money, and when I could no longer do so I was left to my own devices. It is the most bitter experience of a bitter life. It is a blow quite awful. It had to come, but I know it is better I should never see him again, I don’t want to, it fills me with horror.”
A word of explanation will explain his reference to his wife, Constance, in this letter: by a deed of separation made at the end of his imprisonment4, Mrs. Wilde undertook to allow Oscar £150 a year for life, under the condition that the allowance was to be forfeited5 if Oscar ever lived under the same roof with Lord Alfred Douglas. Having forfeited the allowance Oscar got Robert Ross to ask his wife to continue it and in spite of the forfeiture6 Mrs. Wilde continually sent Oscar money through Robert Ross, merely stipulating8 that her husband should not be told whence the money came. Ross, too, who had also sent him £150 a year, resumed his monthly payments as soon as he left Douglas.
My friendship with Oscar Wilde, which had been interrupted after he left prison by a silly gibe9 directed rather against the go-between he had sent to me than against him, was renewed in Paris early in 1898. I have related the little misunderstanding in the Appendix. I had never felt anything but the most cordial affection for Oscar and as soon as I went to Paris and met him I explained what had seemed to him unkind. When I asked him about his life since his release he told me simply that he had quarrelled with Bosie Douglas.
I did not attribute much importance to this; but I could not help noticing the extraordinary change that had taken place in him since he had been in Naples. His health was almost as good as ever; in fact, the prison discipline with its two years of hard living had done him so much good that his health continued excellent almost to the end.
But his whole manner and attitude to life had again changed: he now resembled the successful Oscar of the early nineties: I caught echoes, too, in his speech of a harder, smaller nature; “that talk about reformation, Frank, is all nonsense; no one ever really reforms or changes. I am what I always was.”
He was mistaken: he took up again the old pagan standpoint; but he was not the same; he was reckless now, not thoughtless, and, as soon as one probed a little beneath the surface, depressed11 almost to despairing. He had learnt the meaning of suffering and pity, had sensed their value; he had turned his back upon them all, it is true, but he could not return to pagan carelessness, and the light-hearted enjoyment12 of pleasure. He did his best and almost succeeded; but the effort was there. His creed13 now was what it used to be about 1892: “Let us get what pleasure we may in the fleeting14 days; for the night cometh, and the silence that can never be broken.”
The old doctrine15 of original sin, we now call reversion to type; the most lovely garden rose, if allowed to go without discipline and tendance, will in a few generations become again the common scentless16 dog-rose of our hedges. Such a reversion to type had taken place in Oscar Wilde. It must be inferred perhaps that the old pagan Greek in him was stronger than the Christian17 virtues18 which had been called into being by the discipline and suffering of prison. Little by little, as he began to live his old life again, the lessons learned in prison seemed to drop from him and be forgotten. But in reality the high thoughts he had lived with, were not lost; his lips had been touched by the divine fire; his eyes had seen the world-wonder of sympathy, pity and love and, strangely enough, this higher vision helped, as we shall soon see, to shake his individuality from its centre, and thus destroyed his power of work and completed his soul-ruin. Oscar’s second fall — this time from a height — was fatal and made writing impossible to him. It is all clear enough now in retrospect19 though I did not understand it at the time. When he went to live with Bosie Douglas he threw off the Christian attitude, but afterwards had to recognise that “De Profundis” and “The Ballad20 of Reading Gaol” were deeper and better work than any of his earlier writings. He resumed the pagan position; outwardly and for the time being he was the old Oscar again, with his Greek love of beauty and hatred21 of disease, deformity and ugliness, and whenever he met a kindred spirit, he absolutely revelled22 in gay paradoxes23 and brilliant flashes of humour. But he was at war with himself, like Milton’s Satan always conscious of his fall, always regretful of his lost estate and by reason of this division of spirit unable to write. Perhaps because of this he threw himself more than ever into talk.
He was beyond all comparison the most interesting companion I have ever known: the most brilliant talker, I cannot but think, that ever lived. No one surely ever gave himself more entirely26 in speech. Again and again he declared that he had only put his talent into his books and plays, but his genius into his life. If he had said into his talk, it would have been the exact truth.
People have differed a great deal about his mental and physical condition after he came out of prison. All who knew him really, Ross, Turner, More Adey, Lord Alfred Douglas and myself, are agreed that in spite of a slight deafness he was never better in health, never indeed so well. But some French friends were determined27 to make him out a martyr28.
In his picture of Wilde’s last years, Gide tells us that “he had suffered too grievously from his imprisonment. . . . His will had been broken . . . nothing remained in his shattered life but a mouldy ruin,38 painful to contemplate29, of his former self. At times he seemed to wish to show that his brain was still active. Humour there was; but it was far-fetched, forced and threadbare.”
These touches may be necessary in order to complete a French picture of the social outcast. They are not only untrue when applied30 to Oscar Wilde, but the reverse of the truth; he never talked so well, was never so charming a companion as in the last years of his life.
In the very last year his talk was more genial31, more humorous, more vivid than ever, with a wider range of thought and intenser stimulus32 than before. He was a born improvisatore. At the moment he always dazzled one out of judgment33. A phonograph would have discovered the truth; a great part of his charm was physical; much of his talk mere7 topsy-turvy paradox24, the very froth of thought carried off by gleaming, dancing eyes, smiling, happy lips, and a melodious34 voice.
The entertainment usually started with some humorous play on words. One of the company would say something obvious or trivial, repeat a proverb or commonplace tag such as, “Genius is born, not made,” and Oscar would flash in smiling, “not ‘paid,’ my dear fellow, not ‘paid.’”
An interesting comment would follow on some doing of the day, a skit35 on some accepted belief or a parody36 of some pretentious37 solemnity, a winged word on a new book or a new author, and when everyone was smiling with amused enjoyment, the fine eyes would become introspective, the beautiful voice would take on a grave music and Oscar would begin a story, a story with symbolic38 second meaning or a glimpse of new thought, and when all were listening enthralled39, of a sudden the eyes would dance, the smile break forth40 again like sunshine and some sparkling witticism41 would set everyone laughing.
The spell was broken, but only for a moment. A new clue would soon be given and at once Oscar was off again with renewed brio to finer effects.
The talking itself warmed and quickened him extraordinarily42: he loved to show off and astonish his audience, and usually talked better after an hour or two than at the beginning. His verve was inexhaustible. But always a great part of the fascination43 lay in the quick changes from grave to gay, from pathos44 to mockery, from philosophy to fun.
There was but little of the actor in him. When telling a story he never mimicked45 his personages; his drama seldom lay in clash of character, but in thought; it was the sheer beauty of the words, the melody of the cadenced46 voice, the glowing eyes which fascinated you and always and above all the scintillating47, coruscating48 humour that lifted his monologues49 into works of art.
Curiously50 enough he seldom talked of himself or of the incidents of his past life. After the prison he always regarded himself as a sort of Prometheus and his life as symbolic; but his earlier experiences never suggested themselves to him as specially51 significant; the happenings of his life after his fall seemed predestined and fateful to him; yet of those he spoke52 but seldom. Even when carried away by his own eloquence53, he kept the tone of good society.
When you came afterwards to think over one of those wonderful evenings when he had talked for hours, almost without interruption, you hardly found more than an epigram, a fugitive54 flash of critical insight, an apologue or pretty story charmingly told. Over all this he had cast the glittering, sparkling robe of his Celtic gaiety, verbal humour, and sensual enjoyment of living. It was all like champagne55; meant to be drunk quickly; if you let it stand, you soon realised that some still wines had rarer virtues. But there was always about him the magic of a rich and puissant56 personality; like some great actor he could take a poor part and fill it with the passion and vivacity57 of his own nature, till it became a living and memorable58 creation.
He gave the impression of wide intellectual range, yet in reality he was not broad; life was not his study nor the world-drama his field. His talk was all of literature and art and the vanities; the light drawing-room comedy on the edge of farce59 was his kingdom; there he ruled as a sovereign.
Anyone who has read Oscar Wilde’s plays at all carefully, especially “The Importance of Being Earnest,” must, I think, see that in kindly60, happy humour he is without a peer in literature. Who can ever forget the scene between the town and country girl in that delightful61 farce-comedy. As soon as the London girl realises that the country girl has hardly any opportunity of making new friends or meeting new men, she exclaims:
“Ah! now I know what they mean when they talk of agricultural depression.”
This sunny humour is Wilde’s especial contribution to literature: he calls forth a smile whereas others try to provoke laughter. Yet he was as witty62 as anyone of whom we have record, and some of the best epigrams in English are his. “The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing” is better than the best of La Rochefoucauld, as good as the best of Vauvenargues or Joubert. He was as wittily63 urbane64 as Congreve. But all the witty things that one man can say may be numbered on one’s fingers. It was through his humour that Wilde reigned65 supreme66. It was his humour that lent his talk its singular attraction. He was the only man I have ever met or heard of who could keep one smiling with amusement hour after hour. True, much of the humour was merely verbal, but it was always gay and genial: summer-lightning humour, I used to call it, unexpected, dazzling, full of colour yet harmless.
Let me try and catch here some of the fleeting iridescence67 of that radiant spirit. Some years before I had been introduced to Mdlle. Marie Anne de Bovet by Sir Charles Dilke. Mdlle. de Bovet was a writer of talent and knew English uncommonly68 well; but in spite of masses of fair hair and vivacious69 eyes she was certainly very plain. As soon as she heard I was in Paris, she asked me to present Oscar Wilde to her. He had no objection, and so I made a meeting between them. When he caught sight of her, he stopped short: seeing his astonishment70, she cried to him in her quick, abrupt71 way:
“N’est-ce pas, M. Wilde, que je suis la femme la plus laide de France?” (Come, confess, Mr. Wilde, that I am the ugliest woman in France.)
Bowing low, Oscar replied with smiling courtesy:
“Du monde, Madame, du monde.” (In the world, madame, in the world.)
No one could help laughing; the retort was irresistible72. He should have said: “Au monde, madame, au monde,” but the meaning was clear.
Sometimes this thought-quickness and happy dexterity73 had to be used in self-defence. Jean Lorrain was the wittiest74 talker I have ever heard in France, and a most brilliant journalist. His life was as abandoned as it could well be; in fact, he made a parade of strange vices3. In the days of Oscar’s supremacy75 he always pretended to be a friend and admirer. About this time Oscar wanted me to know Stephane Mallarmé. He took me to his rooms one afternoon when there was a reception. There were a great many people present. Mallarmé was standing10 at the other end of the room leaning against the chimney piece. Near the door was Lorrain, and we both went towards him, Oscar with outstretched hands:
“Delighted to see you, Jean.”
For some reason or other, most probably out of tawdry vanity, Lorrain folded his arms theatrically76 and replied:
“I regret I cannot say as much: I can no longer be one of your friends, M. Wilde.”
The insult was stupid, brutal77; yet everyone was on tiptoe to see how Oscar would answer it.
“How true that is,” he said quietly, as quickly as if he had expected the traitor78-thrust, “how true and how sad! At a certain time in life all of us who have done anything like you and me, Lorrain, must realise that we no longer have any friends in this world; but only lovers.” (Plus d’amis, seulement des amants.)
A smile of approval lighted up every face.
“Well said, well said,” was the general exclamation79. His humour was almost invariably generous, kind.
One day in a Paris studio the conversation turned on the character of Marat: one Frenchman would have it that he was a fiend, another saw in him the incarnation of the revolution, a third insisted that he was merely the gamin of the Paris streets grown up. Suddenly one turned to Oscar, who was sitting silent, and asked his opinion: he took the ball at once, gravely.
“Ce malheureux! Il n’avait pas de veine — pour une fois qu’il a pris un bain. . . . ” (Poor devil, he was unlucky! To come to such grief for once taking a bath.)
For a little while Oscar was interested in the Dreyfus case, and especially in the Commandant Esterhazy, who played such a prominent part in it with the infamous80 bordereau which brought about the conviction of Dreyfus. Most Frenchmen now know that the bordereau was a forgery81 and without any real value.
I was curious to see Esterhazy, and Oscar brought him to lunch one day at Durand’s. He was a little below middle height, extremely thin and as dark as any Italian, with an enormous hook nose and heavy jaw82. He looked to me like some foul83 bird of prey84: greed and cunning in the restless brown eyes set close together, quick resolution in the out-thrust, bony jaws85 and hard chin; but manifestly he had no capacity, no mind: he was meagre in all ways. For a long time he bored us by insisting that Dreyfus was a traitor, a Jew, and a German; to him a trinity of faults, whereas he, Esterhazy, was perfectly86 innocent and had been very badly treated. At length Oscar leant across the table and said to him in French with, strange to say, a slight Irish accent, not noticeable when he spoke English:
“The innocent,” he said, “always suffer, M. le Commandant; it is their métier. Besides, we are all innocent till we are found out; it is a poor, common part to play and within the compass of the meanest. The interesting thing surely is to be guilty and so wear as a halo the seduction of sin.”
Esterhazy appeared put out for a moment, and then he caught the genial gaiety of the reproof87 and the hint contained in it. His vanity would not allow him to remain long in a secondary r?le, and so, to our amazement88, he suddenly broke out:
“Why should I not make my confession89 to you? I will. It is I, Esterhazy, who alone am guilty. I wrote the bordereau. I put Dreyfus in prison, and all France can not liberate90 him. I am the maker91 of the plot, and the chief part in it is mine.”
To his surprise we both roared with laughter. The influence of the larger nature on the smaller to such an extraordinary issue was irresistibly92 comic. At the time no one even suspected Esterhazy in connection with the bordereau.
Another example, this time of Oscar’s wit, may find a place here. Sir Lewis Morris was a voluminous poetaster with a common mind. He once bored Oscar by complaining that his books were boycotted93 by the press; after giving several instances of unfair treatment he burst out: “There’s a conspiracy94 against me, a conspiracy of silence; but what can one do? What should I do?”
“Join it,” replied Oscar smiling.
Oscar’s humour was for the most part intellectual, and something like it can be found in others, though the happy fecundity95 and lightsome gaiety of it belonged to the individual temperament96 and perished with him. I remember once trying to give an idea of the different sides of his humour, just to see how far it could be imitated.
I made believe to have met him at Paddington, after his release from Reading, though he was brought to Pentonville in private clothes by a warder on May 18th, and was released early the next morning, two years to the hour from the commencement of the Sessions at which he was convicted on May 25th. The Act says that you must be released from the prison in which you are first confined. I pretended, however, that I had met him. The train, I said, ran into Paddington Station early in the morning. I went across to him as he got out of the carriage: grey dawn filled the vast echoing space; a few porters could be seen scattered97 about; it was all chill and depressing.
“Welcome, welcome, Oscar!” I cried holding out my hands. “I am sorry I’m alone. You ought to have been met by troops of boys and girls flower-crowned, but alas98! you will have to content yourself with one middle-aged99 admirer.”
“Yes, it’s really terrible, Frank,” he replied gravely. “If England persists in treating her criminals like this, she does not deserve to have any. . . . ”
“Ah,” said an old lady to him one day at lunch, “I know you people who pretend to be a great deal worse than you are, I know you. I shouldn’t be afraid of you.”
“Naturally we pretend to be bad, dear lady,” he replied; “it is the only way to make ourselves interesting to you. Everyone believes a man who pretends to be good, he is such a bore; but no one believes a man who says he is evil. That makes him interesting.”
“Oh, you are too clever for me,” replied the old lady nodding her head. “You see in my day none of us went to Girton and Newnham. There were no schools then for the higher education of women.”
“How absurd such schools are, are they not?” cried Oscar. “Were I a despot, I should immediately establish schools for the lower education of women. That’s what they need. It usually takes ten years living with a man to complete a woman’s education.”
“Then what would you do,” asked someone, “about the lower education of man?”
“That’s already provided for, my dear fellow, amply provided for; we have our public schools and universities to see to that. What we want are schools for the higher education of men, and schools for the lower education of women.”
Genial persiflage100 of this sort was his particular forte101 whether my imitation of it is good or bad.
His kindliness102 was ingrained. I never heard him say a gross or even a vulgar word, hardly even a sharp or unkind thing. Whether in company or with one person, his mind was all dedicated103 to genial, kindly, flattering thoughts. He hated rudeness or discussion or insistence104 as he hated ugliness or deformity.
One evening of this summer a trivial incident showed me that he was sinking deeper in the mud-honey of life.
A new play was about to be given at the Fran?ais and because he expressed a wish to see it I bought a couple of tickets. We went in and he made me change places with him in order to be able to talk to me; he was growing nearly deaf in the bad ear. After the first act we went outside to smoke a cigarette.
“It’s stupid,” Oscar began, “fancy us two going in there to listen to what that foolish Frenchman says about love; he knows nothing about it; either of us could write much better on the theme. Let’s walk up and down here under the columns and talk.”
The people began to go into the theatre again and, as they were disappearing, I said:
“It seems rather a pity to waste our tickets; so many wish to see the play.”
“We shall find someone to give them to,” he said indifferently, stopping by one of the pillars.
At that very moment as if under his hand appeared a boy of about fifteen or sixteen, one of the gutter-snipe of Paris. To my amazement, he said:
“Bon soir, Monsieur Wilde.”
Oscar turned to him smiling.
“Vous êtes Jules, n’est-ce pas?” (you are Jules, aren’t you?) he questioned.
“Oui, M. Wilde.”
“Here is the very boy you want,” Oscar cried; “let’s give him the tickets, and he’ll sell them, and make something out of them,” and Oscar turned and began to explain to the boy how I had given two hundred francs for the tickets, and how, even now, they should be worth a louis or two.
“Des jaunets” (yellow boys), cried the youth, his sharp face lighting105 up, and in a flash he had vanished with the tickets.
“You see he knows me, Frank,” said Oscar, with the childish pleasure of gratified vanity.
“Yes,” I replied drily, “not an acquaintance to be proud of, I should think.”
“I don’t agree with you, Frank,” he said, resenting my tone, “did you notice his eyes? He is one of the most beautiful boys I have ever seen; an exact replica106 of Emilienne D’Alen?on,39 I call him Jules D’Alen?on, and I tell her he must be her brother. I had them both dining with me once and the boy is finer than the girl, his skin far more beautiful.
“By the way,” he went on, as we were walking up the Avenue de l’Opera, “why should we not see Emilienne; why should she not sup with us, and you could compare them? She is playing at Olympia, near the Grand Hotel. Let’s go and compare Aspasia and Agathon, and for once I shall be Alcibiades, and you the moralist, Socrates.”
“I would rather talk to you,” I replied.
“We can talk afterwards, Frank, when all the stars come out to listen; now is the time to live and enjoy.”
“As you will,” I said, and we went to the Music Hall and got a box, and he wrote a little note to Emilienne D’Alen?on, and she came afterwards to supper with us. Though her face was pretty she was pre-eminently dull and uninteresting without two ideas in her bird’s head. She was all greed and vanity, and could talk of nothing but the hope of getting an engagement in London: could he help her, or would Monsieur, referring to me, as a journalist get her some good puffs107 in advance? Oscar promised everything gravely.
While we were supping inside, Oscar caught sight of the boy passing along the Boulevard. At once he tapped on the window, loud enough to attract his attention. Nothing loth, the boy came in, and the four of us had supper together — a strange quartette.
“Now, Frank,” said Oscar, “compare the two faces and you will see the likeness,” and indeed there was in both the same Greek beauty — the same regularity108 of feature, the same low brow and large eyes, the same perfect oval.
“I am telling my friend,” said Oscar to Emilienne in French, “how alike you two are, true brother and sister in beauty and in the finest of arts, the art of living,” and they both laughed.
“The boy is better looking,” he went on to me in English. “Her mouth is coarse and hard; her hands common, while the boy is quite perfect.”
“Rather dirty, don’t you think?” I could not help remarking.
“Dirty, of course, but that’s nothing; nothing is so immaterial as colouring; form is everything, and his form is perfect, as exquisite109 as the David of Donatello. That’s what he’s like, Frank, the David of Donatello,” and he pulled his jowl, delighted to have found the painting word.
As soon as Emilienne saw that we were talking of the boy, her interest in the conversation vanished, even more quickly than her appetite. She had to go, she said suddenly; she was so sorry, and the discontented curiosity of her look gave place again to the smirk110 of affected111 politeness.
“Au revoir, n’est-ce pas? à Charing112 Cross, n’est-ce-pas, Monsieur? Vous ne m’oublierez pas? . . . ”
As we turned to walk along the boulevard I noticed that the boy, too, had disappeared. The moonlight was playing with the leaves and boughs113 of the plane trees and throwing them in Japanese shadow-pictures on the pavement: I was given over to thought; evidently Oscar imagined I was offended, for he launched out into a panegyric114 on Paris.
“The most wonderful city in the world, the only civilised capital; the only place on earth where you find absolute toleration for all human frailties115, with passionate116 admiration117 for all human virtues and capacities.
“Do you remember Verlaine, Frank? His life was nameless and terrible, he did everything to excess, was drunken, dirty and debauched, and yet there he would sit in a café on the Boul’ Mich’, and everybody who came in would bow to him, and call him ma?tre and be proud of any sign of recognition from him because he was a great poet.
“In England they would have murdered Verlaine, and men who call themselves gentlemen would have gone out of their way to insult him in public. England is still only half-civilised; Englishmen touch life at one or two points without suspecting its complexity118. They are rude and harsh.”
All the while I could not help thinking of Dante and his condemnation119 of Florence, and its “hard, malignant120 people,” the people who still had something in them of “the mountain and rock” of their birthplace:—“E tiene ancor del monte e del macigno.”
“You are not offended, Frank, are you, with me, for making you meet two caryatides of the Parisian temple of pleasure?”
“No, no,” I cried, “I was thinking how Dante condemned121 Florence and its people, its ungrateful malignant people, and how when his teacher, Brunetto Latini, and his companions came to him in the underworld, he felt as if he, too, must throw himself into the pit with them. Nothing prevented him from carrying out his good intention (buona voglia) except the fear of being himself burned and baked as they were. I was just thinking that it was his great love for Latini which gave him the deathless words:
. . . “Non dispetto, ma doglia
La vostra condizion dentro mi fisse.
“Not contempt but sorrow. . . . ”
“Oh, Frank,” cried Oscar, “what a beautiful incident! I remember it all. I read it this last winter in Naples. . . . Of course Dante was full of pity as are all great poets, for they know the weakness of human nature.”
But even “the sorrow” of which Dante spoke seemed to carry with it some hint of condemnation; for after a pause he went on:
“You must not judge me, Frank: you don’t know what I have suffered. No wonder I snatch now at enjoyment with both hands. They did terrible things to me. Did you know that when I was arrested the police let the reporters come to the cell and stare at me. Think of it — the degradation122 and the shame — as if I had been a monster on show. Oh! you knew! Then you know, too, how I was really condemned before I was tried; and what a farce my trial was. That terrible judge with his insults to those he was sorry he could not send to the scaffold.
“I never told you the worst thing that befell me. When they took me from Wandsworth to Reading, we had to stop at Clapham Junction123. We were nearly an hour waiting for the train. There we sat on the platform. I was in the hideous124 prison clothes, handcuffed between two warders. You know how the trains come in every minute. Almost at once I was recognised, and there passed before me a continual stream of men and boys, and one after the other offered some foul sneer125 or gibe or scoff126. They stood before me, Frank, calling me names and spitting on the ground — an eternity127 of torture.”
My heart bled for him.
“I wonder if any punishment will teach humanity to such people, or understanding of their own baseness?”
After walking a few paces he turned to me:
“Don’t reproach me, Frank, even in thought. You have no right to. You don’t know me yet. Some day you will know more and then you will be sorry, so sorry that there will be no room for any reproach of me. If I could tell you what I suffered this winter!”
“This winter!” I cried. “In Naples?”
“Yes, in gay, happy Naples. It was last autumn that I really fell to ruin. I had come out of prison filled with good intentions, with all good resolutions. My wife had promised to come back to me. I hoped she would come very soon. If she had come at once, if she only had, it might all have been different. But she did not come. I have no doubt she was right from her point of view. She has always been right.
“But I was alone there in Berneval, and Bosie kept on calling me, calling, and as you know I went to him. At first it was all wonderful. The bruised128 leaves began to unfold in the light and warmth of affection; the sore feeling began to die out of me.
“But at once my allowance from my wife was stopped. Yes, Frank,” he said, with a touch of the old humour, “they took it away when they should have doubled it. I did not care. When I had money I gave it to him without counting, so when I could not pay I thought Bosie would pay, and I was content. But at once I discovered that he expected me to find the money. I did what I could; but when my means were exhausted129, the evil days began. He expected me to write plays and get money for us both as in the past; but I couldn’t; I simply could not. When we were dunned his temper went to pieces. He has never known what it is to want really. You have no conception of the wretchedness of it all. He has a terrible, imperious, irritable130 temper.”
“He’s the son of his father,” I interjected.
“Yes,” said Oscar, “I am afraid that’s the truth, Frank; he is the son of his father; violent, and irritable, with a tongue like a lash25. As soon as the means of life were straitened, he became sullen131 and began reproaching me; why didn’t I write? Why didn’t I earn money? What was the good of me? As if I could write under such conditions. No man, Frank, has ever suffered worse shame and humiliation132.
“At last there was a washing bill to be paid; Bosie was dunned for it, and when I came in, he raged and whipped me with his tongue. It was appalling133; I had done everything for him, given him everything, lost everything, and now I could only stand and see love turned to hate: the strength of love’s wine making the bitter more venomous. Then he left me, Frank, and now there is no hope for me. I am lost, finished, a derelict floating at the mercy of the stream, without plan or purpose. . . . And the worst of it is, I know, if men have treated me badly, I have treated myself worse; it is our sins against ourselves we can never forgive. . . . Do you wonder that I snatch at any pleasure?”
He turned and looked at me all shaken; I saw the tears pouring down his cheeks.
“I cannot talk any more, Frank,” he said in a broken voice, “I must go.”
I called a cab. My heart was so heavy within me, so sore, that I said nothing to stop him. He lifted his hand to me in sign of farewell, and I turned again to walk home alone, understanding, for the first time in my life, the full significance of the marvellous line in which Shakespeare summed up his impeachment134 of the world and his own justification135: the only justification of any of us mortals:
“A man more sinn’d against than sinning.”
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1 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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2 penurious | |
adj.贫困的 | |
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3 vices | |
缺陷( vice的名词复数 ); 恶习; 不道德行为; 台钳 | |
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4 imprisonment | |
n.关押,监禁,坐牢 | |
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5 forfeited | |
(因违反协议、犯规、受罚等)丧失,失去( forfeit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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6 forfeiture | |
n.(名誉等)丧失 | |
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7 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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8 stipulating | |
v.(尤指在协议或建议中)规定,约定,讲明(条件等)( stipulate的现在分词 );规定,明确要求 | |
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9 gibe | |
n.讥笑;嘲弄 | |
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10 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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11 depressed | |
adj.沮丧的,抑郁的,不景气的,萧条的 | |
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12 enjoyment | |
n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
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13 creed | |
n.信条;信念,纲领 | |
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14 fleeting | |
adj.短暂的,飞逝的 | |
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15 doctrine | |
n.教义;主义;学说 | |
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16 scentless | |
adj.无气味的,遗臭已消失的 | |
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17 Christian | |
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
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18 virtues | |
美德( virtue的名词复数 ); 德行; 优点; 长处 | |
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19 retrospect | |
n.回顾,追溯;v.回顾,回想,追溯 | |
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20 ballad | |
n.歌谣,民谣,流行爱情歌曲 | |
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21 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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22 revelled | |
v.作乐( revel的过去式和过去分词 );狂欢;着迷;陶醉 | |
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23 paradoxes | |
n.似非而是的隽语,看似矛盾而实际却可能正确的说法( paradox的名词复数 );用于语言文学中的上述隽语;有矛盾特点的人[事物,情况] | |
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24 paradox | |
n.似乎矛盾却正确的说法;自相矛盾的人(物) | |
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25 lash | |
v.系牢;鞭打;猛烈抨击;n.鞭打;眼睫毛 | |
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26 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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27 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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28 martyr | |
n.烈士,殉难者;vt.杀害,折磨,牺牲 | |
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29 contemplate | |
vt.盘算,计议;周密考虑;注视,凝视 | |
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30 applied | |
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用 | |
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31 genial | |
adj.亲切的,和蔼的,愉快的,脾气好的 | |
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32 stimulus | |
n.刺激,刺激物,促进因素,引起兴奋的事物 | |
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33 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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34 melodious | |
adj.旋律美妙的,调子优美的,音乐性的 | |
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35 skit | |
n.滑稽短剧;一群 | |
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36 parody | |
n.打油诗文,诙谐的改编诗文,拙劣的模仿;v.拙劣模仿,作模仿诗文 | |
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37 pretentious | |
adj.自命不凡的,自负的,炫耀的 | |
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38 symbolic | |
adj.象征性的,符号的,象征主义的 | |
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39 enthralled | |
迷住,吸引住( enthrall的过去式和过去分词 ); 使感到非常愉快 | |
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40 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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41 witticism | |
n.谐语,妙语 | |
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42 extraordinarily | |
adv.格外地;极端地 | |
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43 fascination | |
n.令人着迷的事物,魅力,迷恋 | |
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44 pathos | |
n.哀婉,悲怆 | |
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45 mimicked | |
v.(尤指为了逗乐而)模仿( mimic的过去式和过去分词 );酷似 | |
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46 cadenced | |
adj.音调整齐的,有节奏的 | |
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47 scintillating | |
adj.才气横溢的,闪闪发光的; 闪烁的 | |
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48 coruscating | |
v.闪光,闪烁( coruscate的现在分词 ) | |
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49 monologues | |
n.(戏剧)长篇独白( monologue的名词复数 );滔滔不绝的讲话;独角戏 | |
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50 curiously | |
adv.有求知欲地;好问地;奇特地 | |
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51 specially | |
adv.特定地;特殊地;明确地 | |
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52 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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53 eloquence | |
n.雄辩;口才,修辞 | |
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54 fugitive | |
adj.逃亡的,易逝的;n.逃犯,逃亡者 | |
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55 champagne | |
n.香槟酒;微黄色 | |
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56 puissant | |
adj.强有力的 | |
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57 vivacity | |
n.快活,活泼,精神充沛 | |
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58 memorable | |
adj.值得回忆的,难忘的,特别的,显著的 | |
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59 farce | |
n.闹剧,笑剧,滑稽戏;胡闹 | |
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60 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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61 delightful | |
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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62 witty | |
adj.机智的,风趣的 | |
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63 wittily | |
机智地,机敏地 | |
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64 urbane | |
adj.温文尔雅的,懂礼的 | |
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65 reigned | |
vi.当政,统治(reign的过去式形式) | |
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66 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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67 iridescence | |
n.彩虹色;放光彩;晕色;晕彩 | |
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68 uncommonly | |
adv. 稀罕(极,非常) | |
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69 vivacious | |
adj.活泼的,快活的 | |
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70 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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71 abrupt | |
adj.突然的,意外的;唐突的,鲁莽的 | |
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72 irresistible | |
adj.非常诱人的,无法拒绝的,无法抗拒的 | |
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73 dexterity | |
n.(手的)灵巧,灵活 | |
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74 wittiest | |
机智的,言辞巧妙的,情趣横生的( witty的最高级 ) | |
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75 supremacy | |
n.至上;至高权力 | |
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76 theatrically | |
adv.戏剧化地 | |
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77 brutal | |
adj.残忍的,野蛮的,不讲理的 | |
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78 traitor | |
n.叛徒,卖国贼 | |
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79 exclamation | |
n.感叹号,惊呼,惊叹词 | |
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80 infamous | |
adj.声名狼藉的,臭名昭著的,邪恶的 | |
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81 forgery | |
n.伪造的文件等,赝品,伪造(行为) | |
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82 jaw | |
n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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83 foul | |
adj.污秽的;邪恶的;v.弄脏;妨害;犯规;n.犯规 | |
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84 prey | |
n.被掠食者,牺牲者,掠食;v.捕食,掠夺,折磨 | |
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85 jaws | |
n.口部;嘴 | |
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86 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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87 reproof | |
n.斥责,责备 | |
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88 amazement | |
n.惊奇,惊讶 | |
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89 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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90 liberate | |
v.解放,使获得自由,释出,放出;vt.解放,使获自由 | |
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91 maker | |
n.制造者,制造商 | |
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92 irresistibly | |
adv.无法抵抗地,不能自持地;极为诱惑人地 | |
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93 boycotted | |
抵制,拒绝参加( boycott的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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94 conspiracy | |
n.阴谋,密谋,共谋 | |
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95 fecundity | |
n.生产力;丰富 | |
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96 temperament | |
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
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97 scattered | |
adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的 | |
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98 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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99 middle-aged | |
adj.中年的 | |
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100 persiflage | |
n.戏弄;挖苦 | |
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101 forte | |
n.长处,擅长;adj.(音乐)强音的 | |
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102 kindliness | |
n.厚道,亲切,友好的行为 | |
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103 dedicated | |
adj.一心一意的;献身的;热诚的 | |
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104 insistence | |
n.坚持;强调;坚决主张 | |
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105 lighting | |
n.照明,光线的明暗,舞台灯光 | |
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106 replica | |
n.复制品 | |
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107 puffs | |
n.吸( puff的名词复数 );(烟斗或香烟的)一吸;一缕(烟、蒸汽等);(呼吸或风的)呼v.使喷出( puff的第三人称单数 );喷着汽(或烟)移动;吹嘘;吹捧 | |
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108 regularity | |
n.规律性,规则性;匀称,整齐 | |
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109 exquisite | |
adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的 | |
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110 smirk | |
n.得意地笑;v.傻笑;假笑着说 | |
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111 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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112 charing | |
n.炭化v.把…烧成炭,把…烧焦( char的现在分词 );烧成炭,烧焦;做杂役女佣 | |
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113 boughs | |
大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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114 panegyric | |
n.颂词,颂扬 | |
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115 frailties | |
n.脆弱( frailty的名词复数 );虚弱;(性格或行为上的)弱点;缺点 | |
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116 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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117 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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118 complexity | |
n.复杂(性),复杂的事物 | |
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119 condemnation | |
n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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120 malignant | |
adj.恶性的,致命的;恶意的,恶毒的 | |
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121 condemned | |
adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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122 degradation | |
n.降级;低落;退化;陵削;降解;衰变 | |
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123 junction | |
n.连接,接合;交叉点,接合处,枢纽站 | |
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124 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
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125 sneer | |
v.轻蔑;嘲笑;n.嘲笑,讥讽的言语 | |
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126 scoff | |
n.嘲笑,笑柄,愚弄;v.嘲笑,嘲弄,愚弄,狼吞虎咽 | |
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127 eternity | |
n.不朽,来世;永恒,无穷 | |
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128 bruised | |
[医]青肿的,瘀紫的 | |
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129 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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130 irritable | |
adj.急躁的;过敏的;易怒的 | |
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131 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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132 humiliation | |
n.羞辱 | |
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133 appalling | |
adj.骇人听闻的,令人震惊的,可怕的 | |
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134 impeachment | |
n.弹劾;控告;怀疑 | |
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135 justification | |
n.正当的理由;辩解的理由 | |
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