I WAS far from sharing Lucilla’s opinion of Nugent Dubourg. His enormous self-confidence was, to my mind, too amusing to be in the least offensive. I liked the spirit and gaiety of the young fellow. He came much nearer than his brother did to my ideal of the dash and resolution which ought to distinguish a man on the right side of thirty. So far as my experience of them went, Nugent was (in the popular English phrase) good company — and Oscar was not. My nationality leads me to attach great importance to social qualities. The higher virtues2 of a man only show themselves occasionally on compulsion, His social qualities come familiarly in contact with us every day of our lives. I like to be cheerful: I am all for the social qualities.
There was one little obstacle in those early days, which set itself up between my sympathies and Nugent.
I was thoroughly3 at a loss to understand the impression which Lucilla had produced on him.
The same constraint4 which had, in such a marked manner, subdued5 him at his first interview with her, still fettered6 him in the time when they became better acquainted with one another. He was never in high spirits in her presence. Mr. Finch7 could talk him down without difficulty, if Mr. Finch’s daughter happened to be by. Even when he was vaporing8 about himself, and telling us of the wonderful things he meant to do in Painting, Lucilla’s appearance was enough to check him, if she happened to come into the room. On the first day when he showed me his American sketches9 (I define them, if you ask my private opinion, as false pretenses10 of Art, by a dashing amateur)— on that day, he was in full flow; marching up and down the room, smacking11 his forehead, and announcing himself quite gravely as “the coming man” in landscape painting.
“My mission, Madame Pratolungo, is to reconcile Humanity and Nature. I propose to show (on an immense scale) how Nature (in her grandest aspects) can adapt herself to the spiritual wants of mankind. In your joy or your sorrow, Nature has subtle sympathies with you, if you only know where to look for them. My pictures — no! my poems in color — will show you. Multiply my works, as they certainly will be multiplied, by means of prints — and what does Art become in my hands? A Priesthood! In what aspect do I present myself to the public? As a mere12 landscape painter? No! As Grand Consoler!” In the midst of this rhapsody (how wonderfully he resembled Oscar in his bursts of excitement while he was talking!)— in the full torrent13 of his predictions of his own coming greatness, Lucilla quietly entered the room. The “Grand Consoler” shut up his portfolio14; dropped Painting on the spot; asked for Music, and sat down, a model of conventional propriety15, in a corner of the room. I inquired afterwards, why he had checked himself when she came in. “Did I?” he said. “I don’t know why.” The thing was really inexplicable16. He honestly admired her — one had only to notice him when he was looking at her to see it. He had not the faintest suspicion of her dislike for him — she carefully concealed17 it for Oscar’s sake. He felt genuine sympathy for her in her affliction — his mad idea that her sight might yet be restored, was the natural offspring of a true feeling for her. He was not unfavorable to his brother’s marriage — on the contrary, he ruffled18 the rector’s dignity (he was always giving offense19 to Mr. Finch) by suggesting that the marriage might be hastened. I heard him say the words myself:—“The church is close by. Why can’t you put on your surplice and make Oscar happy to-morrow, after breakfast?” More even than this, he showed the most vivid interest — like a woman’s interest rather than a man’s — in learning how the love-affair between Oscar and Lucilla had begun. I referred him, so far as Oscar was concerned, to his brother as the fountain-head of information. He did not decline to consult his brother. He did not own to me that he felt any difficulty in doing so. He simply dropped Oscar in silence; and asked about Lucilla. How had it begun on her side? I reminded him of his brother’s romantic position at Dimchurch and told him to judge for himself of the effect it would produce on the excitable imagination of a young girl. He declined to judge for himself; he persisted in appealing to me. When I told the little love-story of the two young people, one event in it appeared to make a very strong impression on him. The effect produced on Lucilla (when she first heard it) by the sound of his brother’s voice, dwelt strangely on his mind. He failed to understand it; he ridiculed20 it; he declined to believe it. I was obliged to remind him that Lucilla was blind, and that love which, in other cases, first finds its way to the heart through the eyes, could only, in her case, first find its way through the ears. My explanation, thus offered, had its effect: it set him thinking. “The sound of his voice!” he said to himself, still turning the problem over and over in his mind. “People say my voice is exactly like Oscar’s,” he added, suddenly addressing himself to me. “Do you think so too?” I answered that there could be no doubt of it. He got up from his chair, with a quick little shudder21, like a man who feels a chill — and changed the subject. On the next occasion when he and Lucilla met — so far from being more familiar with her, he was more constrained22 than ever. As it had begun between these two, so it seemed likely to continue to the end. In my society, he was always at his ease. In Lucilla’s society, never!
What was the obvious conclusion which a person with my experience ought to have drawn23 from all this?
I know well enough what it was, now. On my oath as an honest woman, I failed to see it at the time. We are not always (suffer me to remind you) consistent with ourselves. The cleverest people commit occasional lapses24 into stupidity — just as the stupid people light up with gleams of intelligence at certain times. You may have shown your usual good sense in conducting your affairs on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday in the week. But it doesn’t at all follow from this, that you may not make a fool of yourself on Thursday. Account for it as you may — for a much longer time than it suits my self-esteem to reckon up, I suspected nothing and discovered nothing. I noted25 his behavior in Lucilla’s presence as odd behavior and unaccountable behavior — and that was all.
During the first fortnight just mentioned, the London doctor came to see Oscar.
He left again, perfectly26 satisfied with the results of his treatment. The dreadful epileptic malady27 would torture the patient and shock the friends about him no more: the marriage might safely be celebrated28 at the time agreed on. Oscar was cured.
The doctor’s visit — reviving our interest in observing the effect of the medicine — also revived the subject of Oscar’s false position towards Lucilla. Nugent and I held a debate about it between ourselves. I opened the interview by suggesting that we should unite our forces to persuade his brother into taking the frank and manly29 course. Nugent neither said Yes nor No to that proposal at the outset. He, who made up his mind at a moment’s notice about everything else, took time to decide on this one occasion.
“There is something that I want to know first,” he said. “I want to understand this curious antipathy30 of Lucilla’s which my brother regards with so much alarm. Can you explain it?”
“Has Oscar attempted to explain it?” I inquired on my side.
“He mentioned it in one of his letters to me; and he tried to explain it, when I asked (on my arrival at Browndown) if Lucilla had discovered the change in his complexion31. But he failed entirely32 to meet my difficulty in understanding the case.”
“What is your difficulty?”
“This. So far as I can see, she fails to discover intuitively the presence of dark people in a room, or of dark colors in the ornaments33 of a room. It is only when she is told that such persons or such things are present that her prejudice declares itself. In what state of mind does such a strange feeling as this take its rise? It seems impossible that she can have any conscious associations with colors, pleasant or painful — if it is true that she was blind at a year old. How do you account for it? Can there be such a thing as a purely34 instinctive35 antipathy; remaining passive until external influences rouse it; and resting on no sort of practical experience whatever?”
“I think there may be,” I replied. “Why, when I was a child just able to walk, did I shrink away from the first dog I saw who barked at me? I could not have known, at that age, either by experience or teaching, that a dog’s bark is sometimes the prelude36 to a dog’s bite. My terror, on that occasion, was purely instinctive surely?”
“Ingeniously put,” he said. “But I am not satisfied yet.”
“You must also remember,” I continued, “that she has a positively37 painful association with dark colors, on certain occasions. They sometimes produce a disagreeable impression on her nerves, through her sense of touch. She discovered, in that way, that I had a dark gown on, on the day when I first saw her.”
“And yet, she touches my brother’s face, and fails to discover any alteration38 in it.”
I met that objection also — to my own satisfaction, though not to his.
“I am far from sure that she might not have made the discovery,” I said, “if she had touched him for the first time, since the discoloration of his face. But she examines him now with a settled impression in her mind, derived39 from previous experience of what she has felt in touching40 his skin. Allow for the modifying influence of that impression on her sense of touch — and remember at the same time, that it is the color and not the texture41 of the skin that is changed — and his escape from discovery becomes, to my mind, intelligible42.”
He shook his head; he owned he could not dispute my view. But he was not content for all that.
“Have you made any inquiries43,” he asked, “about the period of her infancy44 before she was blind? She may be still feeling, indirectly45 and unconsciously, the effect of some shock to her nervous system in the time when she could see.”
“I have never thought of making inquiries.”
“Is there anybody within our reach, who was familiarly associated with her in the first year of her life? It is hardly likely, I am afraid, at this distance of time?”
“There is a person now in the house,” I said. “Her old nurse is still living.”
“Send for her directly.”
Zillah appeared. After first explaining what he wanted with her, Nugent went straight to the inquiry46 which he had in view.
“Was your young lady ever frightened when she was a baby by any dark person, or any dark thing, suddenly appearing before her?”
“Never, sir! I took good care to let nothing come near her that could frighten her — so long, poor little thing, as she could see.”
“Are you quite sure you can depend on your memory?”
“Quite sure, sir — when it’s a long time ago.”
Zillah was dismissed. Nugent — thus far, unusually grave, and unusually anxious — turned to me with an air of relief.
“When you proposed to me to join you in forcing Oscar to speak out,” he said, “I was not quite easy in my mind about the consequences. After what I have just heard, my fear is removed.”
“What fear?” I asked.
“The fear of Oscar’s confession47 producing an estrangement48 between them which might delay the marriage. I am against all delays. I am especially anxious that Oscar’s marriage should not be put off. When we began our conversation, I own to you I was of Oscar’s opinion that he would do wisely to let marriage make him sure of his position in her affections, before he risked the disclosure. Now — after what the nurse has told us — I see no risk worth considering.”
“In short,” I said, “you agree with me?”
“I agree with you — though I am the most opinionated man living. The chances now seem to me to be all in Oscar’s favor, Lucilla’s antipathy is not what I feared it was — an antipathy firmly rooted in a constitutional malady. It is nothing more serious,” said Nugent, deciding the question, at once and for ever, with the air of a man profoundly versed49 in physiology50 —“it is nothing more serious than a fanciful growth, a morbid51 accident, of her blindness. She may live to get over it — she would, I believe, certainly get over it, if she could see. In two words, after what I have found out this morning, I say as you say — Oscar is making a mountain out of a molehill. He ought to have put himself right with Lucilla long since. I have unbounded influence over him. It shall back your influence. Oscar shall make a clean breast of it, before the week is out.”
We shook hands on that bargain. As I looked at him — bright and dashing and resolute52; Oscar, as I had always wished Oscar to be — I own to my shame I privately53 regretted that we had not met Nugent in the twilight54, on that evening of ours which had opened to Lucilla the gates of a new life.
Having said to each other all that we had to say — our two lovers being away together at the time, for a walk on the hills — we separated, as I then supposed, for the rest of the day. Nugent went to the inn, to look at a stable which he proposed converting into a studio: no room at Browndown being half large enough, for the first prodigious55 picture with which the “Grand Consoler” in Art proposed to astonish the world. As for me, having nothing particular to do, I went out to see if I could meet Oscar and Lucilla on their return from their walk.
Failing to find them, I strolled back by way of Browndown. Nugent was sitting alone on the low wall in front of the house, smoking a cigar. He rose and came to meet me, with his finger placed mysteriously on his lips.
“You mustn’t come in,” he said; “you mustn’t speak loud enough to be heard.” He pointed56 round the corner of the house to the little room at the side, already familiar to you in these pages. “Oscar and Lucilla are shut up together there. And Oscar is making his confession to her at this moment!”
I lifted my hands and eyes in astonishment57. Nugent went on.
“I see you want to know how it has all come about. You shall know. — While I was looking at the stable (it isn’t half big enough for a studio for Me!), Oscar’s servant brought me a little pencil note, entreating58 me, in Oscar’s name, to go to him directly at Browndown. I found him waiting out here, dreadfully agitated59. He cautioned me (just as I have cautioned you) not to speak loud. For the same reason too. Lucilla was in the house ——”
“I thought they had gone out for a walk,” I interposed.
“They did go out for a walk. But Lucilla complained of fatigue60; and Oscar brought her back to Browndown to rest. Well! I inquired what was the matter. The answer informed me that the secret of Oscar’s complexion had forced its way out for the second time, in Lucilla’s hearing.”
“Jicks again!” I exclaimed.
“No — not Jicks. Oscar’s own man-servant, this time.”
“How did it happen?”
“It happened through one of the boys in the village. Oscar and Lucilla found the little imp1 howling outside the house. They asked what was the matter. The imp told them that the servant at Browndown had beaten him. Lucilla was indignant. She insisted on having the thing inquired into. Oscar left her in the drawing-room (unluckily, as it turned out, without shutting the door); called the man up into the passage, and asked what he meant by ill-using the boy. The man answered, ‘I boxed his ears, sir, as an example to the rest of them.’ ‘What did he do?’ ‘Rapped at the door, sir, with a stick (he is not the first who has done it when you are out); and asked if Blue Face was at home.’ Lucilla heard every word of it, through the open door. Need I tell you what happened next?”
It was quite needless to relate that part of the story. I remembered too well what had happened on the former occasion, in the garden. I saw too plainly that Lucilla must have connected the two occurrences in her mind, and must have had her ready suspicion roused to serious action, as the necessary result.
“I understand,” I said. “Of course, she insisted on an explanation. Of course, Oscar compromised himself by a clumsy excuse, and wanted you to help him. What did you do?”
“What I told you I should do this morning. He had counted confidently on my taking his side — it was pitiable to see him, poor fellow! Still, for his own sake, I refused to yield. I left him the choice of giving her the true explanation himself, or of leaving me to do it. There wasn’t a moment to lose; she was in no humour to be trifled with, I can tell you! Oscar behaved very well about it — he always behaves well when I drive him into a corner! In one word, he was man enough to feel that he was the right person to make a clean breast of it — not I. I gave the poor old boy a hug to encourage him, pushed him into the room, shut the door on him, and came out here. He ought to have done it by this time. He has done it! Here he comes!”
Oscar ran out, bareheaded, from the house. There were signs of disturbance61 in him, as he approached us, which warned me that something had gone wrong, before he opened his lips.
Nugent spoke62 first.
“What’s amiss now?” he asked. “Have you told her the truth?”
“I have tried to tell her the truth.”
“Tried? What do you mean?”
Oscar put his arm round his brother’s neck, and laid his head on his brother’s shoulder, without answering one word.
I put a question to him on my side.
“Did Lucilla refuse to listen to you?” I asked.
“No.”
“Has she said anything or done anything ——?”
He lifted his head from his brother’s shoulder, and stopped me before I could finish the sentence.
“You need feel no anxiety about Lucilla. Lucilla’s curiosity is satisfied.”
Nugent and I gazed at one another, in complete bewilderment. Lucilla had heard it all; Lucilla’s curiosity was satisfied. He had that incredibly happy result to communicate to us — and he announced it with a look of humiliation63, in a tone of despair! Nugent’s patience gave way.
“Let us have an end of this mystification,” he said, putting Oscar back from him, sharply, at arm’s length. “I want a plain answer to a plain question. She knows that the boy knocked at the door, and asked if Blue Face was at home. Does she know what the boy’s impudence64 meant? Yes? or No?”
“Yes.”
“Does she know that it is you who are Blue Face?”
“No.”
“No!!! Who else does she think it is?”
As he asked the question, Lucilla appeared at the door of the house. She moved her blind face inquiringly first one way, then the other. “Oscar!” she called out, “why have you left me alone? where are you?”
Oscar turned, trembling, to his brother.
“For God’s sake forgive me, Nugent!” he said. “She thinks it’s YOU.”
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1
imp
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| n.顽童 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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constraint
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| n.(on)约束，限制；限制(或约束)性的事物 | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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fettered
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| v.给…上脚镣，束缚( fetter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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finch
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| n.雀科鸣禽(如燕雀，金丝雀等) | |
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vaporing
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| n.说大话，吹牛adj.蒸发的，自夸的v.自夸，（使）蒸发( vapor的现在分词 ) | |
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sketches
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| n.草图( sketch的名词复数 )；素描；速写；梗概 | |
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pretenses
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| n.借口（pretense的复数形式） | |
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smacking
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| 活泼的，发出响声的，精力充沛的 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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torrent
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| n.激流，洪流；爆发，(话语等的)连发 | |
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portfolio
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| n.公事包；文件夹；大臣及部长职位 | |
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propriety
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| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
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inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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offense
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| n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪 | |
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ridiculed
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| v.嘲笑，嘲弄，奚落( ridicule的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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lapses
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| n.失误，过失( lapse的名词复数 )；小毛病；行为失检；偏离正道v.退步( lapse的第三人称单数 )；陷入；倒退；丧失 | |
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noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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malady
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| n.病，疾病(通常做比喻) | |
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celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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antipathy
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| n.憎恶；反感，引起反感的人或事物 | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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ornaments
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| n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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prelude
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| n.序言，前兆，序曲 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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derived
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| vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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texture
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| n.(织物)质地；(材料)构造；结构；肌理 | |
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intelligible
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| adj.可理解的，明白易懂的，清楚的 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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infancy
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| n.婴儿期；幼年期；初期 | |
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indirectly
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| adv.间接地，不直接了当地 | |
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inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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estrangement
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| n.疏远，失和，不和 | |
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versed
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| adj. 精通，熟练 | |
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physiology
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| n.生理学，生理机能 | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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privately
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| adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地 | |
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twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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prodigious
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| adj.惊人的，奇妙的；异常的；巨大的；庞大的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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58
entreating
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的现在分词 ) | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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60
fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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61
disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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62
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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63
humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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impudence
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| n.厚颜无耻；冒失；无礼 | |
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