I CLOSED the First Part of my narrative1 on the day of the operation, the twenty-fifth of June.
I open the Second Part, between six and seven weeks later, on the ninth of August.
How did the time pass at Dimchurch in that interval2?
Searching backwards3 in my memory, I call to life again the domestic history of the six weeks. It looks, on retrospection, miserably4 dull and empty of incident. I wonder when I contemplate5 it now, how we got through that weary interval — how we bore that forced inaction, that unrelieved oppression of suspense6.
Changing from bed-room to sitting-room7, from sitting-room back to bed-room; with the daylight always shut out; with the bandages always on, except when the surgeon looked at her eyes; Lucilla bore the imprisonment8 — and worse than the imprisonment, the uncertainty9 — of her period of probation10, with the courage that can endure anything, the courage sustained by Hope. With books, with music, with talk — above all, with Love to help her — she counted her way calmly through the dull succession of hours and days till the time came which was to decide the question in dispute between the oculists — the terrible question of which of the two, Mr. Sebright or Herr Grosse, was right.
I was not present at the examination which finally decided11 all doubt. I joined Oscar in the garden — quite as incapable12 as he was of exerting the slightest self-control. We paced silently backwards and forwards on the lawn, like two animals in a cage. Zillah was the only witness present when the German examined our poor darling’s eyes; Nugent engaging to wait in the next room and announce the result from the window. As the event turned out, Herr Grosse was beforehand with him. Once more we heard his broken English shouting, “Hi-hi-hoi! hoi-hi! hoi-hi!” Once more, we beheld13 his huge silk handkerchief waving at the window. I turned sick and faint under the excitement of the moment — under the rapture15 (it was nothing less) of hearing those three electrifying16 words: “She will see!” Mercy! how we did abuse Mr. Sebright, when we were all reunited again in Lucilla’s room!
The first excitement over, we had our difficulties to contend with next.
From the moment when she was positively17 informed that the operation had succeeded, our once-patient Lucilla developed into a new being. She now rose in perpetual revolt against the caution which still deferred18 the day on which she was to be allowed to make the first trial of her sight. It required all my influence, backed by Oscar’s entreaties19, and strengthened by the furious foreign English of our excellent German surgeon (Herr Grosse had a temper of his own, I can tell you!) to prevent her from breaking through the medical discipline which held her in its grasp. When she became quite unmanageable, and vehemently20 abused him to his face, our good Grosse used to swear at her, in a compound bad language of his own, with a tremendous aspiration21 at the beginning of it, which always set matters right by making her laugh. I see him again as I write, leaving the room on these occasions, with his eyes blazing through his spectacles, and his shabby hat cocked sideways on his head. “Soh, you little-spitfire-Feench! If you touch that bandages when I have put him on — Ho–Damn-Damn! I say no more. Good-bye!”
From Lucilla I turn to the twin-brothers next.
Tranquilized as to the future, after his interview with Mr. Sebright, Oscar presented himself at his best during the time of which I am now writing. Lucilla’s main reliance in her days in the darkened room, was on what her lover could do to relieve and to encourage her. He never once failed her; his patience was perfect; his devotion was inexhaustible. It is sad to say so, in view of what happened afterwards; but I only tell a necessary truth when I declare that he immensely strengthened his hold on her affections, in those last days of her blindness when his society was most precious to her. Ah, how fervently22 she used to talk of him when she and I were left together at night! Forgive me if I leave this part of the history of the courtship untold23. I don’t like to write of it — I don’t like to think of it. Let us get on to something else.
Nugent comes next. I would give a great deal, poor as I am, to be able to leave him out. It is not to be done. I must write about that lost wretch24, and you must read about him, whether we like it or not.
The days of Lucilla’s imprisonment, were also the days when my favorite disappointed me, for the first time. He and his brother seemed to change places. It was Nugent now who appeared to disadvantage by comparison with Oscar. He surprised and grieved his brother by leaving Browndown. “All I can do for you, I have done,” he said. “I can be of no further use for the present to anybody. Let me go. I am stagnating26 in this miserable27 place — I must, and will, have change.” Oscar’s entreaties, in Nugent’s present frame of mind, failed to move him. Away he went one morning, without bidding anybody goodbye. He had talked of being absent for a week — he remained away for a month. We heard of him, leading a wild life, among a vicious set of men. It was reported that a frantic28 restlessness possessed29 him which nobody could understand. He came back as suddenly as he had left us. His variable nature had swung round, in the interval, to the opposite extreme. He was full of repentance30 for his reckless conduct; he was in a state of depression which defied rousing; he despaired of himself and his future. Sometimes he talked of going back to America; and sometimes he threatened to close his career by enlisting31 as a private soldier. Would any other person, in my place, have seen which way these signs pointed25? I doubt it, if that person’s mind had been absorbed, as mine was, in watching Lucilla day by day. Even if I had been a suspicious woman by nature — which, thank God, I am not — my distrust must have lain dormant32, in the all-subduing atmosphere of suspense hanging heavily on me morning, noon, and night in the darkened room.
So much, briefly33, for the sayings and doings of the persons principally concerned in this narrative, during the six weeks which separate Part the First from Part the Second.
I begin again on the ninth of August.
This was the memorable34 day chosen by Herr Grosse for risking the experiment of removing the bandage, and permitting Lucilla to try her sight for the first time. Conceive for yourselves (don’t ask me to describe) the excitement that raged in our obscure little circle, now that we were standing35 face to face with that grand Event in our lives which I promised to relate in the opening sentence of these pages.
I was the earliest riser at the rectory that morning. My excitable French blood was in a fever. I was irresistibly36 reminded of myself, at a time long past — the time when my glorious Pratolungo and I, succumbing37 to Fate and tyrants38, fled to England for safety; martyrs39 to that ungrateful Republic (long live the Republic!) for which I laid down my money and my husband his life.
I opened my window, and hailed the good omen14 of sunrise in a clear sky. Just as I was turning away again from the view, I saw a figure steal out from the shrubbery and appear on the lawn. The figure came nearer. I recognized Oscar.
“What in the world are you doing there, at this time in the morning?” I called out.
He lifted his finger to his lips, and came close under my window before he answered.
“Hush!” he said. “Don’t let Lucilla hear you. Come down to me as soon as you can. I am waiting to speak to you.”
When I joined him in the garden, I saw directly that something had gone wrong.
“Bad news from Browndown?” I asked.
“Nugent has disappointed me,” he answered. “Do you remember the evening when you met me after my consultation40 with Mr. Sebright?”
“Perfectly.”
“I told you that I meant to ask Nugent to leave Dimchurch, on the day when Lucilla tried her sight for the first time.”
“Well?”
“Well — he refuses to leave Dimchurch.”
“Have you explained your motives41 to him?”
“Carefully — before I asked him to go. I told him how impossible it was to say what might happen. I reminded him that it might be of the utmost importance to me to preserve the impression now in Lucilla’s mind — for a certain time only — after Lucilla could see. I promised, the moment she became reconciled to the sight of me, to recall him, and in his presence to tell her the truth. All that I said to him — and how do you think he answered me?”
“Did he positively refuse?”
“No. He walked away from me to the window, and considered a little. Then he turned round suddenly and said ‘What did you tell me was Mr. Sebright’s opinion? Mr. Sebright thought she would be relieved instead of being terrified. In that case, what need is there for me to go away? You can acknowledge at once that she has seen your face, and not mine?’ He put his hands in his pockets when he had said that (you know Nugent’s downright way)— and turned back to the window as if he had settled everything.”
“What did you say, on your side?”
“I said, ‘Suppose Mr. Sebright is wrong?’ He only answered, ‘Suppose Mr. Sebright is right?’ I followed him to the window — I never heard him speak so sourly to me as he spoke42 at that moment. ‘What is your objection to going away for a day or two?’ I asked. ‘My objection is soon stated,’ he answered. ‘I am sick of these everlasting43 complications. It is useless and cruel to carry on the deception44 any longer. Mr. Sebright’s advice is the wise advice and the right advice. Let her see you as you are.’ With that answer, he walked out of the room. Something has upset him — I can’t imagine what it is. Do pray see what you can make of him! My only hope is in you.”
I own I felt reluctant to interfere46. Suddenly and strangely as Nugent had altered his point of view, it seemed to me undeniable that Nugent was right. At the same time, Oscar looked so disappointed and distressed47, that it was really impossible, on that day above all others, to pain him additionally by roundly saying No. I undertook to do what I could — and I inwardly hoped that circumstances would absolve48 me from the necessity of doing anything at all.
Circumstances failed to justify49 my selfish confidence in them.
I was out in the village, after breakfast, on a domestic errand connected with the necessary culinary preparations for the reception of Herr Grosse — when I heard my name pronounced behind me, and, turning round, found myself face to face with Nugent.
“Has my brother been bothering you this morning,” he asked, “before I was up?”
I instantly noticed a return in him, as he said that, to the same dogged ungracious manner which had perplexed51 and displeased52 me at my last confidential53 interview with him in the rectory garden.
“Oscar has been speaking to me this morning,” I replied.
“About me?”
“About you. You have distressed and disappointed him ——”
“I know! I know! Oscar is worse than a child. I am beginning to lose all patience with him.”
“I am sorry to hear you say that, Nugent. You have borne with him so kindly54 thus far — surely you can make allowances for him to-day? His whole future may depend on what happens in Lucilla’s sitting-room a few hours hence.”
“He is making a mountain out of a mole-hill — and so are you.”
Those words were spoken bitterly — almost rudely. I answered sharply on my side.
“You are the last person living who has any right to say that. Oscar is in a false position towards Lucilla, with your knowledge and consent. In your brother’s interests, you agreed to the fraud that has been practiced on her. In your brother’s interests, again, you are asked to leave Dimchurch. Why do you refuse?”
“I refuse, because I have come round to your way of thinking. What did you say of Oscar and of me, in the summer-house? You said we were taking a cruel advantage of Lucilla’s blindness. You were right. It was cruel not to have told her the truth. I won’t be a party to concealing55 the truth from her any longer! I refuse to persist in deceiving her — in meanly deceiving her — on the day when she recovers her sight!”
It is entirely56 beyond my power to describe the tone in which he made that reply. I can only declare that it struck me dumb for the moment. I drew a step nearer to him. With vague misgivings57 in me, I looked him searchingly in the face. He looked back at me, without shrinking.
“Well?” he asked — with a hard smile which defied me to put him in the wrong.
I could discover nothing in his face — I could only follow my instincts as a woman. Those instincts warned me to accept his explanation.
“I am to understand then that you have decided on staying here?” I said.
“Certainly!”
“What do you propose to do, when Herr Grosse arrives, and we assemble in Lucilla’s room?”
“I propose to be present among the rest of you, at the most interesting moment of Lucilla’s life.”
“No! you don’t propose that!”
“I do!”
“You have forgotten something, Mr. Nugent Dubourg.”
“What is it, Madame Pratolungo?”
“You have forgotten that Lucilla believes the brother with the discolored face to be You, and the brother with the fair complexion58 to be Oscar. You have forgotten that the surgeon has expressly forbidden us to agitate59 her by entering into any explanations before he allows her to use her eyes. You have forgotten that the very deception which you have just positively refused to go on with, will be nevertheless a deception continued, if you are present when Lucilla sees. Your own resolution pledges you not to enter the rectory doors until Lucilla has discovered the truth.” In those words I closed the vice45 on him. I had got Mr. Nugent Dubourg!
He turned deadly pale. His eyes dropped before mine for the first time.
“Thank you for reminding me,” he said. “I had forgotten.”
He pronounced those submissive words in a suddenly-lowered voice. Something in his tone, or something in the dropping of his eyes, set my heart beating quickly, with a certain vague expectation which I was unable to realize to myself.
“You agree with me,” I said, “that you cannot be one amongst us at the rectory? What will you do?”
“I will remain at Browndown,” he answered.
I felt he was lying. Don’t ask for my reasons: I have no reasons to give. When he said “I will remain at Browndown,” I felt he was lying.
“Why not do what Oscar asks of you?” I went on. “If you are absent, you may as well be in one place as in another. There is plenty of time still to leave Dimchurch.”
He looked up as suddenly as he had looked down.
“Do you and Oscar think me a stock or a stone?” he burst out angrily.
“What do you mean?”
“Who are you indebted to for what is going to happen to-day?” he went on, more and more passionately60. “You are indebted to Me. Who among you all stood alone in refusing to believe that she was blind for life? I did! Who brought the man here who has given her back her sight? I brought the man! And I am the one person who is to be left in ignorance of how it ends. The others are to be present: I am to be sent away. The others are to see it: I am to hear by post (if any of you think of writing to me) what she does, what she says, how she looks, at the first heavenly moment when she opens her eyes on the world.” He flung up his hand in the air, and burst out savagely61 with a bitter laugh. “I astonish you, don’t I? I am claiming a position which I have no right to occupy. What interest can I feel in it? Oh God! what do I care about the woman to whom I have given a new life?” His voice broke into a sob62 at those last wild words. He tore at the breast of his coat as if he was suffocating63 — and turned, and left me.
I stood rooted to the spot. In one breathless instant, the truth broke on me like a revelation. At last I had penetrated64 the terrible secret. Nugent loved her.
My first impulse, when I recovered myself, hurried me at the top of my speed back to the rectory. For a moment or two, I think I must really have lost my senses. I felt a frantic suspicion that he had gone into the house, and that he was making his way to Lucilla at that moment. When I found that all was quiet — when Zillah had satisfied me that no visitor had come near our side of the rectory — I calmed down a little, and went back to the garden to compose myself before I ventured into Lucilla’s presence.
After awhile, I got over the first horror of it, and saw my own position plainly. There was not a living soul at Dimchurch in whom I could confide50. Come what might of it, in this dreadful emergency, I must trust in myself alone.
I had just arrived at that startling conclusion; I had shed some bitter tears when I remembered how hardly I had judged poor Oscar on more than one occasion; I had decided that my favorite Nugent was the most hateful villain65 living, and that I would leave nothing undone66 that the craft of a woman could compass to drive him out of the place — when I was forced back to present necessities by the sound of Zillah’s voice calling to me from the house. I went to her directly. The nurse had a message for me from her young mistress. My poor Lucilla was lonely and anxious: she was surprised at my leaving her, she insisted on seeing me immediately.
I took my first precaution against a surprise from Nugent, as I crossed the threshold of the door.
“Our dear child must not be disturbed by visitors to-day,” I said to Zillah. “If Mr. Nugent Dubourg comes here and asks for her — don’t tell Lucilla; tell me.”
This said, I went up-stairs, and joined my darling in the darkened room.
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1
narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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miserably
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| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
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contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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imprisonment
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| n.关押，监禁，坐牢 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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probation
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| n.缓刑(期)，(以观后效的)察看；试用(期) | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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omen
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| n.征兆，预兆；vt.预示 | |
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rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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electrifying
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| v.使电气化( electrify的现在分词 )；使兴奋 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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deferred
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| adj.延期的，缓召的v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从 | |
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entreaties
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| n.恳求，乞求( entreaty的名词复数 ) | |
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vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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aspiration
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| n.志向，志趣抱负；渴望；(语)送气音；吸出 | |
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fervently
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| adv.热烈地，热情地，强烈地 | |
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untold
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| adj.数不清的，无数的 | |
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wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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stagnating
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| v.停滞，不流动，不发展( stagnate的现在分词 ) | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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enlisting
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| v.（使）入伍， （使）参军( enlist的现在分词 )；获得（帮助或支持） | |
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dormant
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| adj.暂停活动的；休眠的；潜伏的 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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memorable
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| adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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irresistibly
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| adv.无法抵抗地，不能自持地；极为诱惑人地 | |
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succumbing
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的现在分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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tyrants
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| 专制统治者( tyrant的名词复数 )； 暴君似的人； （古希腊的）僭主； 严酷的事物 | |
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martyrs
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| n.martyr的复数形式；烈士( martyr的名词复数 )；殉道者；殉教者；乞怜者（向人诉苦以博取同情） | |
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consultation
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| n.咨询；商量；商议；会议 | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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absolve
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| v.赦免，解除（责任等） | |
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justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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displeased
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| a.不快的 | |
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confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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agitate
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| vi.(for,against)煽动，鼓动；vt.搅动 | |
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60
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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61
savagely
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| adv. 野蛮地，残酷地 | |
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62
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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63
suffocating
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| a.使人窒息的 | |
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64
penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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65
villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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66
undone
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| a.未做完的，未完成的 | |
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