Chapter 15

“CLAY, Lad, you’re the one person on earth whom I wished to see!”

“You’ve changed your mind, Nils? You’ll let me tell them the truth?”

“Hush¹! Speak lower, and be careful. How long have we to talk?”

“Twenty minutes. I wrung² a pass at last from Clemens. Thought I could never have persuaded him. You know what a time I had over the last one, and now — so close to the day! Unheard of, the warden³ said; but I had the pass. They searched me and let me in. If I’d failed it might have been better for you, Nils!”

“Why?”

“If I’d failed, I had meant to confess immediately-”

“Hush, I say! The others there seem inattentive enough, but you can’t gage⁴ how closely they are listening. A prison is more than a prison. I’ve learned that. It’s a mesh⁵ of devilish traps, set to comb the very soul out of a man and violate its secrecy⁶.”

“Nils, you have suffered too much.”

“Don’t go so white, lad. It was good of you to come and see me again.”

“Nils!”

“I mean it. Don’t you think I understand what this means to you? Have I no imagination? Can’t I put myself in your place? Why, the last time you came it nearly broke my heart to remind you of your duty. But we are men, you and I. When men love they are willing to make their sacrifice.”

“You would not do this for me alone? It is all for Roberta?”

“Can you ask? Why, dear friend, I would never damn you to a lifetime of remorse⁷ for a lesser⁸ reason. My part is nothing. To die is nothing. We all die. If you could exchange with me, I might not survive you a day — an hour. There are so many doors out beside the one I pass through tomorrow. What’s death? No, boy, it is your part that is hard and I thanked God when I saw your face, because I wished to say a word or so that might make it easier.”

“You are the noblest friend a man ever had. But I came to tell you that — that — have you seen the afternoon papers?”

“No, nor any papers for a week. I’m done with this world and the news of it. I hadn’t supposed, though, that they would devote their precious columns to real gloatings over me till tomorrow. Clay, take my advice and don’t read the papers of June 9.”

“You — haven’t seen — today’s?”

“I say, no! Why? Any special gloatings in them?”

“There is — Nils, you must let me stop this while there is time. I shall go to the Governor-”

“No! No — no — no, and no, again! Clay, have I passed through months of hell to see my reward snatched away at the last instant? There! You see, I make it plain that I’m selfish! To keep her happiness inviolate⁹ — to buy happiness for her at the mere¹⁰ price of death — why, that’s a joy that I never believed God would judge me worthy¹¹ of!”

“You believe in God and His justice? You?”

“Most solemnly — most earnestly — as I never knew Him nor His justice before, Clayton, lad. Why, I’m happy! Do I seem so tragically¹² sad to you?”

“No. But you seem different from any living man. You look like — I have seen the picture of a man with that light on His face.”

“So?”

“He was nailed to a cross. Nils! I am afraid!”

“I said your part was hardest. Hush! The others are listening. We’ve been speaking too loudly. Our time is almost gone, and I haven’t even begun what I wished to say Quick! Make me two promises. You’re the friend I have loved, Clay. I’d stake anything on your word. First, I am buying your life, with all that I have to give. So it’s mine, isn’t it?”

“You — you know!”

“Yes. Straighten up, boy. They are watching us. Your life, then, which is mine, I will and bequeath to — her. And you will never forget. That’s a promise?”

“Y-yes. Nils, I can’t stand this! I have a thing to tell you-”

“Hush! Second, never by word nor look, never, if you can help it, by a thought in her presence, will you betray our secret. A promise?”

“Nils — no — yes! I promise.”

“And you will-”

“Is that the guard coming?

“I fear so. Our last talk is over, Clay. Don’t care too much. Wait — just a minute more, guard. What, five? They are good to me, these last days. Listen, Clay:

“You are the only man in the world to whom I would tell this. This morning — a wonderful dream came to me. I had lain awake all night thinking, and I was tired. After breakfast I lay down again. I lay there on my cot, asleep, but I believed waking. And she came and stood by my head. You know that time when we met at dinner in your house, she didn’t like me very well. And, afterward¹³, in the courtroom, as time passed and they proved their case, she — before the end she dreaded¹⁴ to even look toward me.

“Don’t protest. It’s true. But in this dream that was so much more real than reality she stood there and smiled, Clay — at me! She laid her hand on my forehead. There was a faint light around her. And she leaned and kissed me — on the lips. Waking, I still felt the touch of her lips. So real — real! If she were not living, I would have sworn that her spirit had come to me. And friendly — loving.

“Don’t look so, Clay! I shouldn’t have told you — oh surely you don’t grudge¹⁵ me that kindliness¹⁶ from her — in a dream? There, I knew you too well to think it! All right, guard, he’s coming.

“Clay, goodbye! May your sacrifice measure your happiness, as God knows it does mine. When you think of me, let it be only as a friend — always — forever — here and hereafter! Goodbye!”

1 hush   

int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静

参考例句：

• A hush fell over the onlookers.旁观者们突然静了下来。
• Do hush up the scandal!不要把这丑事声张出去！

2 wrung   

绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水）

参考例句：

• He has wrung the words from their true meaning. 他曲解这些字的真正意义。
• He wrung my hand warmly. 他热情地紧握我的手。

3 warden   

n.监察员，监狱长，看守人，监护人

参考例句：

• He is the warden of an old people's home.他是一家养老院的管理员。
• The warden of the prison signed the release.监狱长签发释放令。

4 gage   

n.标准尺寸，规格；量规，量表 [=gauge]

参考例句：

• Can you gage what her reaction is likely to be?你能揣测她的反应可能是什么吗？
• It's difficult to gage one's character.要判断一个人的品格是很困难的。

5 mesh   

n.网孔，网丝，陷阱；vt.以网捕捉，啮合，匹配；vi.适合； [计算机]网络

参考例句：

• Their characters just don't mesh.他们的性格就是合不来。
• This is the net having half inch mesh.这是有半英寸网眼的网。

6 secrecy   

n.秘密，保密，隐蔽

参考例句：

• All the researchers on the project are sworn to secrecy.该项目的所有研究人员都按要求起誓保守秘密。
• Complete secrecy surrounded the meeting.会议在绝对机密的环境中进行。

7 remorse   

n.痛恨，悔恨，自责

参考例句：

• She had no remorse about what she had said.她对所说的话不后悔。
• He has shown no remorse for his actions.他对自己的行为没有任何悔恨之意。

8 lesser   

adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地

参考例句：

• Kept some of the lesser players out.不让那些次要的球员参加联赛。
• She has also been affected,but to a lesser degree.她也受到波及，但程度较轻。

9 inviolate   

adj.未亵渎的，未受侵犯的

参考例句：

• The constitution proclaims that public property shall be inviolate.宪法宣告公共财产不可侵犯。
• They considered themselves inviolate from attack.他们认为自己是不可侵犯的。

10 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

11 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

12 tragically   

adv. 悲剧地，悲惨地

参考例句：

• Their daughter was tragically killed in a road accident. 他们的女儿不幸死于车祸。
• Her father died tragically in a car crash. 她父亲在一场车祸中惨死。

13 afterward   

adv.后来；以后

参考例句：

• Let's go to the theatre first and eat afterward. 让我们先去看戏，然后吃饭。
• Afterward,the boy became a very famous artist.后来，这男孩成为一个很有名的艺术家。

14 dreaded   

adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The dreaded moment had finally arrived. 可怕的时刻终于来到了。
• He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital. 他害怕非得在医院过圣诞节不可。 来自《用法词典》

15 grudge   

n.不满，怨恨，妒嫉；vt.勉强给，不情愿做

参考例句：

• I grudge paying so much for such inferior goods.我不愿花这么多钱买次品。
• I do not grudge him his success.我不嫉妒他的成功。

16 kindliness   

n.厚道，亲切，友好的行为

参考例句：

• Martha looked up into a strange face and dark eyes alight with kindliness and concern. 马撒慢慢抬起头，映入眼帘的是张陌生的脸，脸上有一双充满慈爱和关注的眼睛。 来自辞典例句
• I think the chief thing that struck me about Burton was his kindliness. 我想，我对伯顿印象最深之处主要还是这个人的和善。 来自辞典例句