The two exiles so nearly united in fortune and interest took a lodging5 together, where at their first leisure they began to reflect on the numberless misfortunes and vexations of their life past, and could not tell of the sudden to what failure in their conduct they ought to impute6 them, when, after some recollection, they called to mind the copy of their father’s will which they had so happily recovered. This was immediately produced, and a firm resolution taken between them to alter whatever was already amiss, and reduce all their future measures to the strictest obedience7 prescribed therein. The main body of the will (as the reader cannot easily have forgot) consisted in certain admirable rules, about the wearing of their coats, in the perusal8 whereof the two brothers at every period duly comparing the doctrine9 with the practice, there was never seen a wider difference between two things, horrible downright transgressions10 of every point. Upon which they both resolved without further delay to fall immediately upon reducing the whole exactly after their father’s model.
But here it is good to stop the hasty reader, ever impatient to see the end of an adventure before we writers can duly prepare him for it. I am to record that these two brothers began to be distinguished11 at this time by certain names. One of them desired to be called Martin, and the other took the appellation12 of Jack13. These two had lived in much friendship and agreement under the tyranny of their brother Peter, as it is the talent of fellow-sufferers to do, men in misfortune being like men in the dark, to whom all colours are the same. But when they came forward into the world, and began to display themselves to each other and to the light, their complexions14 appeared extremely different, which the present posture15 of their affairs gave them sudden opportunity to discover.
But here the severe reader may justly tax me as a writer of short memory, a deficiency to which a true modern cannot but of necessity be a little subject. Because, memory being an employment of the mind upon things past, is a faculty17 for which the learned in our illustrious age have no manner of occasion, who deal entirely18 with invention and strike all things out of themselves, or at least by collision from each other; upon which account, we think it highly reasonable to produce our great forgetfulness as an argument unanswerable for our great wit. I ought in method to have informed the reader about fifty pages ago of a fancy Lord Peter took, and infused into his brothers, to wear on their coats whatever trimmings came up in fashion, never pulling off any as they went out of the mode, but keeping on all together, which amounted in time to a medley19 the most antic you can possibly conceive, and this to a degree that, upon the time of their falling out, there was hardly a thread of the original coat to be seen, but an infinite quantity of lace, and ribbands, and fringe, and embroidery20, and points (I mean only those tagged with silver, for the rest fell off). Now this material circumstance having been forgot in due place, as good fortune hath ordered, comes in very properly here, when the two brothers are just going to reform their vestures into the primitive21 state prescribed by their father’s will.
They both unanimously entered upon this great work, looking sometimes on their coats and sometimes on the will. Martin laid the first hand; at one twitch22 brought off a large handful of points, and with a second pull stripped away ten dozen yards of fringe. But when he had gone thus far he demurred23 a while. He knew very well there yet remained a great deal more to be done; however, the first heat being over, his violence began to cool, and he resolved to proceed more moderately in the rest of the work, having already very narrowly escaped a swinging rent in pulling off the points, which being tagged with silver (as we have observed before), the judicious24 workman had with much sagacity double sewn to preserve them from falling. Resolving therefore to rid his coat of a huge quantity of gold lace, he picked up the stitches with much caution and diligently25 gleaned26 out all the loose threads as he went, which proved to be a work of time. Then he fell about the embroidered27 Indian figures of men, women, and children, against which, as you have heard in its due place, their father’s testament28 was extremely exact and severe. These, with much dexterity29 and application, were after a while quite eradicated30 or utterly31 defaced. For the rest, where he observed the embroidery to be worked so close as not to be got away without damaging the cloth, or where it served to hide or strengthened any flaw in the body of the coat, contracted by the perpetual tampering32 of workmen upon it, he concluded the wisest course was to let it remain, resolving in no case whatsoever33 that the substance of the stuff should suffer injury, which he thought the best method for serving the true intent and meaning of his father’s will. And this is the nearest account I have been able to collect of Martin’s proceedings34 upon this great revolution.
But his brother Jack, whose adventures will be so extraordinary as to furnish a great part in the remainder of this discourse35, entered upon the matter with other thoughts and a quite different spirit. For the memory of Lord Peter’s injuries produced a degree of hatred36 and spite which had a much greater share of inciting37 him than any regards after his father’s commands, since these appeared at best only secondary and subservient38 to the other. However, for this medley of humour he made a shift to find a very plausible39 name, honouring it with the title of zeal40, which is, perhaps, the most significant word that has been ever yet produced in any language, as, I think, I have fully41 proved in my excellent analytical42 discourse upon that subject, wherein I have deduced a histori-theo-physiological account of zeal, showing how it first proceeded from a notion into a word, and from thence in a hot summer ripened43 into a tangible44 substance. This work, containing three large volumes in folio, I design very shortly to publish by the modern way of subscription45, not doubting but the nobility and gentry46 of the land will give me all possible encouragement, having already had such a taste of what I am able to perform.
I record, therefore, that brother Jack, brimful of this miraculous47 compound, reflecting with indignation upon Peter’s tyranny, and further provoked by the despondency of Martin, prefaced his resolutions to this purpose. “What!” said he, “a rogue48 that locked up his drink, turned away our wives, cheated us of our fortunes, palmed his crusts upon us for mutton, and at last kicked us out of doors; must we be in his fashions? A rascal49, besides, that all the street cries out against.” Having thus kindled50 and inflamed51 himself as high as possible, and by consequence in a delicate temper for beginning a reformation, he set about the work immediately, and in three minutes made more dispatch than Martin had done in as many hours. For, courteous52 reader, you are given to understand that zeal is never so highly obliged as when you set it a-tearing; and Jack, who doted on that quality in himself, allowed it at this time its full swing. Thus it happened that, stripping down a parcel of gold lace a little too hastily, he rent the main body of his coat from top to bottom 51; and whereas his talent was not of the happiest in taking up a stitch, he knew no better way than to darn it again with packthread thread and a skewer53. But the matter was yet infinitely54 worse (I record it with tears) when he proceeded to the embroidery; for being clumsy of nature, and of temper impatient withal, beholding55 millions of stitches that required the nicest hand and sedatest57 constitution to extricate58, in a great rage he tore off the whole piece, cloth and all, and flung it into the kennel59, and furiously thus continuing his career, “Ah! good brother Martin,” said he, “do as I do, for the love of God; strip, tear, pull, rend2, flay60 off all that we may appear as unlike that rogue Peter as it is possible. I would not for a hundred pounds carry the least mark about me that might give occasion to the neighbours of suspecting I was related to such a rascal.” But Martin, who at this time happened to be extremely phlegmatic61 and sedate56, begged his brother, of all love, not to damage his coat by any means, for he never would get such another; desired him to consider that it was not their business to form their actions by any reflection upon Peter’s, but by observing the rules prescribed in their father’s will. That he should remember Peter was still their brother, whatever faults or injuries he had committed, and therefore they should by all means avoid such a thought as that of taking measures for good and evil from no other rule than of opposition62 to him. That it was true the testament of their good father was very exact in what related to the wearing of their coats; yet was it no less penal63 and strict in prescribing agreement, and friendship, and affection between them. And therefore, if straining a point were at all defensible, it would certainly be so rather to the advance of unity16 than increase of contradiction.
Martin had still proceeded as gravely as he began, and doubtless would have delivered an admirable lecture of morality, which might have exceedingly contributed to my reader’s repose64 both of body and mind (the true ultimate end of ethics), but Jack was already gone a flight-shot beyond his patience. And as in scholastic65 disputes nothing serves to rouse the spleen of him that opposes so much as a kind of pedantic66 affected67 calmness in the respondent, disputants being for the most part like unequal scales, where the gravity of one side advances the lightness of the other, and causes it to fly up and kick the beam; so it happened here that the weight of Martin’s arguments exalted68 Jack’s levity69, and made him fly out and spurn70 against his brother’s moderation. In short, Martin’s patience put Jack in a rage; but that which most afflicted71 him was to observe his brother’s coat so well reduced into the state of innocence72, while his own was either wholly rent to his shirt, or those places which had escaped his cruel clutches were still in Peter’s livery. So that he looked like a drunken beau half rifled by bullies73, or like a fresh tenant74 of Newgate when he has refused the payment of garnish75, or like a discovered shoplifter left to the mercy of Exchange-women 52, or like a bawd in her old velvet76 petticoat resigned into the secular77 hands of the mobile 53. Like any or like all of these, a medley of rags, and lace, and fringes, unfortunate Jack did now appear; he would have been extremely glad to see his coat in the condition of Martin’s, but infinitely gladder to find that of Martin in the same predicament with his. However, since neither of these was likely to come to pass, he thought fit to lend the whole business another turn, and to dress up necessity into a virtue78. Therefore, after as many of the fox’s arguments as he could muster79 up for bringing Martin to reason, as he called it, or as he meant it, into his own ragged80, bobtailed condition, and observing he said all to little purpose, what alas81! was left for the forlorn Jack to do, but, after a million of scurrilities against his brother, to run mad with spleen, and spite, and contradiction. To be short, here began a mortal breach82 between these two. Jack went immediately to new lodgings83, and in a few days it was for certain reported that he had run out of his wits. In a short time after he appeared abroad, and confirmed the report by falling into the oddest whimsies84 that ever a sick brain conceived.
And now the little boys in the streets began to salute85 him with several names. Sometimes they would call him Jack the Bald, sometimes Jack with a Lanthorn, sometimes Dutch Jack, sometimes French Hugh, sometimes Tom the Beggar, and sometimes Knocking Jack of the North 54. And it was under one or some or all of these appellations86 (which I leave the learned reader to determine) that he hath given rise to the most illustrious and epidemic87 sect88 of AEolists, who, with honourable89 commemoration, do still acknowledge the renowned90 Jack for their author and founder91. Of whose originals as well as principles I am now advancing to gratify the world with a very particular account.
“Mellaeo contingens cuncta lepore.”
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1
rupture
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| n.破裂；(关系的)决裂；v.(使)破裂 | |
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rend
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| vt.把…撕开，割裂；把…揪下来，强行夺取 | |
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3
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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ebb
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| vi.衰退，减退；n.处于低潮，处于衰退状态 | |
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5
lodging
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| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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impute
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| v.归咎于 | |
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obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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perusal
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| n.细读，熟读；目测 | |
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doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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transgressions
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| n.违反，违法，罪过( transgression的名词复数 ) | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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appellation
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| n.名称，称呼 | |
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jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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14
complexions
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| 肤色( complexion的名词复数 )； 面色； 局面； 性质 | |
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posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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unity
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| n.团结，联合，统一；和睦，协调 | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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18
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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medley
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| n.混合 | |
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embroidery
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| n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品 | |
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21
primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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twitch
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| v.急拉，抽动，痉挛，抽搐；n.扯，阵痛，痉挛 | |
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demurred
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| v.表示异议，反对( demur的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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24
judicious
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| adj.明智的，明断的，能作出明智决定的 | |
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diligently
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| ad.industriously;carefully | |
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gleaned
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| v.一点点地收集（资料、事实）( glean的过去式和过去分词 )；（收割后）拾穗 | |
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embroidered
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| adj．绣花的 | |
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testament
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| n.遗嘱；证明 | |
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dexterity
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| n.(手的)灵巧，灵活 | |
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eradicated
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| 画着根的 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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tampering
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| v.窜改( tamper的现在分词 )；篡改；（用不正当手段）影响；瞎摆弄 | |
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whatsoever
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| adv.（用于否定句中以加强语气）任何；pron.无论什么 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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inciting
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| 刺激的，煽动的 | |
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subservient
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| adj.卑屈的，阿谀的 | |
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39
plausible
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| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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41
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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42
analytical
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| adj.分析的；用分析法的 | |
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43
ripened
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| v.成熟，使熟( ripen的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44
tangible
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| adj.有形的，可触摸的，确凿的，实际的 | |
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subscription
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| n.预订，预订费，亲笔签名，调配法，下标（处方） | |
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46
gentry
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| n.绅士阶级，上层阶级 | |
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47
miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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48
rogue
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| n.流氓；v.游手好闲 | |
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49
rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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50
kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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51
inflamed
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| adj.发炎的，红肿的v.（使）变红，发怒，过热( inflame的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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52
courteous
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| adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的 | |
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53
skewer
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| n.（烤肉用的）串肉杆；v.用杆串好 | |
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54
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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55
beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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56
sedate
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| adj.沉着的，镇静的，安静的 | |
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57
sedatest
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| adj.镇定的( sedate的最高级 )；泰然的；不慌不忙的（常用于名词前）；宁静的 | |
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58
extricate
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| v.拯救，救出；解脱 | |
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59
kennel
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| n.狗舍，狗窝 | |
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60
flay
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| vt.剥皮；痛骂 | |
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61
phlegmatic
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| adj.冷静的，冷淡的，冷漠的，无活力的 | |
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62
opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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63
penal
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| adj.刑罚的；刑法上的 | |
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64
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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65
scholastic
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| adj.学校的，学院的，学术上的 | |
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66
pedantic
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| adj.卖弄学问的；迂腐的 | |
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67
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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68
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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69
levity
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| n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变 | |
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70
spurn
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| v.拒绝，摈弃；n.轻视的拒绝；踢开 | |
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71
afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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72
innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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73
bullies
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| n.欺凌弱小者, 开球 vt.恐吓, 威胁, 欺负 | |
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74
tenant
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| n.承租人；房客；佃户；v.租借，租用 | |
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75
garnish
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| n.装饰，添饰，配菜 | |
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76
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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77
secular
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| n.牧师，凡人；adj.世俗的，现世的，不朽的 | |
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78
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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79
muster
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| v.集合，收集，鼓起，激起；n.集合，检阅，集合人员，点名册 | |
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80
ragged
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| adj.衣衫褴褛的，粗糙的，刺耳的 | |
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81
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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82
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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83
lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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84
whimsies
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| n.怪念头( whimsy的名词复数 )；异想天开；怪脾气；与众不同的幽默感 | |
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85
salute
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| vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮 | |
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86
appellations
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| n.名称，称号( appellation的名词复数 ) | |
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87
epidemic
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| n.流行病；盛行；adj.流行性的，流传极广的 | |
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88
sect
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| n.派别，宗教，学派，派系 | |
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89
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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90
renowned
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| adj.著名的，有名望的，声誉鹊起的 | |
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91
Founder
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| n.创始者，缔造者 | |
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