The Lord Blackjowl looked at her from under his shaggy eyebrows1.
"That was included in the paper your Majesty2 has been graciously pleased to sign."
"But I didn't know anything about it," the Queen said hotly. "Now that's deceiving, and I shall never be able to trust anything you give me to sign without reading it. I've a good mind to take it back again."
"I assure your Majesty," the lord answered, with a low bow, "I merely wished to save your Majesty the trouble of twice appending your gracious signature when once would suffice."
"But why didn't you tell me what was in it?" she asked, a little mollified.
"Merely because your Majesty took the words out of my mouth, if I may so say."
The Queen said, "Well, and what else do you want me to do?"
"There are sundry3 traitorous4 persons of the faction5 of the late Regent, whose existence is dangerous to the peace of the realm, and against whom I wish to issue writs6 of attainder if your Majesty will consent."
"Yes, I thought so," the Queen said. "How many are there?"
"Three thousand nine hundred and forty," the Regent said, looking at a great scroll7.
"Good gracious!" the Queen said. "Why, that's five times as many as ever there were before."
The Regent stroked his beard "There is a great deal of disaffection in the land," he said.
"Why, the last Regent said the people were ever so contented8," the Queen answered.
"The last Regent has deceived your Majesty."
"That's what they all say about the last Regent. Why, it was only the other day that he told me that you were deceitful—and you are—and he said that you had thrown your wife into a yard full of hungry dogs, in order that you might marry me."
"Your Majesty," the Regent said, flushing with heavy anger, "the late Regent was a tyrant9, and all tyrants10 are untruthful, as your Majesty's wisdom must tell you. My wife had the misfortune to fall into a bear-pit, and, as for my daring to raise my eyes as high as your Majesty——"
"Why, you're looking at me now," the Queen said. "However, it doesn't matter. You can't marry me till I'm twenty-one, and I shan't be that for some time. By-the-by, who's going to be my next governess?"
"Your Majesty is now of an age to need no governess. I think a tutor would be more suitable—with your Majesty's consent."
"Well, who's to be my tutor, then?" the Queen said.
"I had purposed according that inestimable honour to myself," the Regent answered.
"Oh, I say! You'll never do!" the Queen remarked. "You could never darn a pair of stockings, or comb my hair. You'd be so awfully11 clumsy."
"Your Majesty has no need to have your royal stockings darned; you can always have a new pair."
"But that would be so fearfully wasteful12!" the Queen said.
"Your Majesty might give the other pairs to the poor."
"But what are 'the poor'?"
"The poor are wicked, idle people—too wicked to work and earn the money, and too dirty to wear stockings," the Regent said.
"But what would be the good of my stockings to them?" the Queen asked.
"It is the usual thing, your Majesty," the Regent said. "But will your Majesty be pleased to sign these papers?"
The Queen said, "Oh yes, I'll sign them, if you'll just go down into the kitchen and ask for a piece of raw meat, about the size of my hand, and a piece of red flannel13 about large enough to go round a bat. Oh, and what's a good thing for rheumatism14?"
The Regent looked a little surprised. "I—your Majesty, I really don't exactly know."
"Oh, well, ask the cook or somebody."
"Well, but—couldn't I send a servant, your Majesty?" the Regent said.
"No, that wouldn't be any good," the Queen said. "If you're to take the place of my governess you'll have to do that sort of thing, you know."
The Regent bowed. "Of course I shall be only too grateful for your Majesty's commands. I merely thought that your Majesty might need some assistance in signing the papers."
But the Queen answered, "Oh no, I can manage that sort of thing well enough myself. I'm quite used to it; so be quick, and remember, a nice juicy piece of raw meat and some red flannel, and—oh, opodeldoc; that's just the thing. Be quick! I don't want to keep the bat waiting."
The Regent went backwards15 out of the room, bowing at every three steps, and, as he was clad in armour16 from top to toe, he made a clanking noise—quite like a tinker's cart, if you've ever beard one.
So, left to herself, the Queen signed the papers one after the other. They all began—
"By THE QUEEN, A PROCLAMATION, E.R.
"Whereas by our Proclamation given this 1st day of May——
But the Queen never read any further than that, because she could never quite understand what it all meant. At the last signature the happened to make a little blot17, and somehow or other the ink happened to get into one of her nails, and that annoyed her. It is so difficult to get ink out of one's nails.
"I don't care if I never sign another Proclamation," she said; "and I hope I never shall. Now, look here," she continued to the Regent, who at that moment entered. "If you were a governess I should be able to make you get this ink out; but how can I ask a man to do that?"
"I will make the attempt, if your Majesty pleases," the Regent said.
"Well, but you haven't got any nail-scissors," the Queen replied.
"I might use my sword," the Regent suggested.
But the Queen shivered. "Ugh! fancy having a great ugly thing like that for it!" she said. "Oh, well, you've brought the things! Here are your papers. They're all signed; and, if you want anything else, you'll have to come into the garden."
And she took up the meat and the flannel and the opodeldoc and went into the garden, leaving the Regent with the idea that he had made rather a bad business by becoming the Queen's attendant. But he was a very determined18 man, and merely set his teeth the firmer.
Under the overhanging rose tree the Queen sat awaiting the bat's awakening19.
"It never does to wake him up," she said. "It makes him so bad tempered."
So she sat patiently and watched the rose-petals that every now and then fluttered down on the wind.
It was well on towards the afternoon, after the Queen had had her dinner, before he awoke.
"Oh, you're there?" he said. He had made the same remark every day for the last two years—which made seven hundred and thirty-one times, one of the years having been leap-year.
The Queen said, "Yes, here I am!"
The bat yawned. "What's the weather like?" he asked.
The Queen answered, "Oh, it's very nice, and you promised to tell me the flower that would make me fly."
"I shan't," the bat said. "You'd eat up all the flies—a great thing like you."
The Queen's eyes filled with tears, it was so disappointing.
"Oh, I promise I won't eat any flies," she said; "and I'll go right away and leave you in peace."
The bat said, "Um! there's something in that."
"And look," the Queen continued, "I've brought you your meat and flannel, and some stuff that's good for rheumatism."
The bat's eyes twinkled with delight. "Well, I'll tell you," he said. "Only you must promise, first, that you won't tell any one the secret; and secondly20, that you won't eat any flies."
"Oh yes, I'll promise that willingly enough."
"Well, put the things up here on the top of the seat and I'll tell you."
The Queen did as she was bidden, and the bat continued—
"The flower you want is at this moment being trodden on by your foot."
The Queen felt a little startled, but, looking down, saw a delicate white flower that had trailed from a border and was being crushed beneath her small green shoes.
"What! the wind-flower?" she said. "I always thought it was only a weed."
"You shouldn't think," the bat said. "It's as bad as supposing."
"Well, and how am I to set about flying?" the Queen asked.
And the bat answered sharply, "Why, fly. Put the flower somewhere about you, and then go off. Only be careful not to knock against things."
The Queen thought for a moment, and then plucked a handful and a handful and yet a handful of the wind-flowers, and, having twined them into a carcanet, wound them into her soft gold-brown hair, beneath her small crown royal.
"Good-bye, dear bat," she said. She had grown to like the bat, for all his strange appearance and surly speeches.
The bat remarked, "Good riddance." He was always a little irritable21 just after awakening.
So the Queen went out from under the arbour, and made a first essay at flying.
"I'll make just a short flight at first," she said, and gave a little jump, and in a moment she flew right over a rose bush and came down softly on the turf on its further side, quite like a not too timid pigeon that has to make a little flight from before a horse's feet.
"Oh, come, that was a success," she said to herself. "And it really is true. Well, I'll just practise a little before I start to see the world."
So she flew over several trees, gradually going higher and higher, until at last she caught a glimpse of the red town roofs, and then, in a swift moment's rush, she flew over the high white wall and alighted in the road that bordered it.
"Hullo!" a voice said before she had got used to the new sensation of being out in the world. "Hullo! where did you drop from?"
"I didn't drop—I flew," the Queen said severely22; and she looked at the man.
He was stretched on the ground, leaning his back against the wall, and basking23 in the hot sunlight that fell on him. He was very ragged24 and very dirty, and he had neither shoes nor stockings, By his side was a basket in which, over white paper frills, nodded the heads of young ferns.
"Why, who are you?" the Queen said. And then her eyes fell on his bare feet. They reminded her of what the Regent had said that morning. "Oh, you must be the poor," she said, "and you want my stockings."
"I don't know about your stockings, lady," the man said; "but if you've got any old clothes to spare, I could give you some nice pots of flowers for them."
The Queen said, "Why, what good would that do you?"
And the man answered, "I should sell them and get some money. I'm fearfully hungry."
"Why don't you have something to eat, then?" the Queen said.
And the man replied, "Because I haven't got any money to buy it with."
"Why don't you take it, then?"
"Because it would be stealing, and stealing's wicked; besides, I should be sent to prison for it."
"I don't understand quite what you mean," the Queen said. "But come with me somewhere where we can get some food, and you shall have as much as you like."
The fern-seller arose with alacrity25.
"There's a shop near here where they sell some delicious honey-cakes."
"I can't make it out," the Queen said to herself. "If he's hungry he can't be contented; and yet the Regent said every one was contented in the land, because of his being Regent. He must have been mistaken, or else this man must be one of the traitors26."
And aloud she said, "Is there a bill of attainder out against you?"
The beggar shook his head. "I guess not," he said. "Tradesmen won't let the likes of me run up bills."
It was a remark the Queen could not understand at all. They crossed the market-place that lay before the palace door.
"There's no market to-day because the people are all afraid the revolution isn't over yet."
"Oh, but it is," the Queen said; "I made the Lord Blackjowl Regent to-day."
The beggar looked at her with a strange expression; but the Queen continued—
"I don't see what harm the revolution could do to the market."
"Why, don't you see," the beggar said, "when they get to fighting the arrows fly about all over the place, and the horses would knock the stalls over. Besides, the soldiers steal everything, or set fire to it. Look, there's a house still smouldering."
And, indeed, one of the market houses was a heap of charred27 ruins.
"But what was the good of it?" the Queen asked.
And the beggar answered, "Well, you see, it belonged to one of the opposite party, and he wouldn't surrender and have his head chopped off."
"I should think not," the Queen said.
The streets were quite empty, and all the shutters28 were closed. Here and there an arrow was sticking into the walls or the doors.
"Do people never walk about the streets?" the Queen asked.
"It wouldn't be safe when there's a revolution on," the beggar answered.
Just at that moment they arrived before the door of a house that, like all the rest, was closely shut up. Over the door was written—
"JAMES GRUBB,
Honey-cake Maker29."
Here the beggar stopped and began to beat violently at the door with his staff.
The sound of the blows echoed along the streets,—and then from within came dismal30 shouts of "Murder!" "Police!" "Fire!"
But the beggar called back, "Nonsense, James Grubb; it's only a lady come for some honey-cakes."
Then, after a long while, there was a clatter31 of chains behind the door, and it was opened just an inch, so that the Queen could see an old man's face peeping cautiously out at her. The sight seemed to reassure32 him, for he opened the door and bobbed nervously33. At other times he would have bowed suavely34.
"Will your ladyship be pleased to enter?" he said. "I want to shut the door; it is so dangerous to have it open with all these revolutions about."
The Queen complied with his request, and found herself in a little dark shop, only lighted dimly through the round air-holes in the shutters.
"Give this man some honey-cakes," she said; and the honey-cake maker seemed only too delighted.
"How many shall I give him, madam?" he said.
"As many as he wants, of course," the Queen answered sharply.
The beggar proceeded to help himself, and made a clean sweep of all the cakes that were on the counter. There was a big hole in his coat, and into that he thrust them, so that the lining35 at last was quite full.
The honey-cake maker was extremely pleased at the sight, for he had not expected to sell any cakes that day.
When the cakes had all disappeared there was an awkward pause.
"Now I'll go on again," the Queen said.
"But you haven't paid," the honey-cake maker said in some alarm.
"Pay!" said the Queen. "What do you mean?"
"Paid for the cakes, I mean," the honey-cake maker said.
"I don't understand you," she answered. "I am the Queen; I never pay for what I eat."
"She is the Queen," the beggar said; "and if you don't take care she'll have your head off."
The honey-cake maker jumped back so suddenly that he sat down in a tub of honey and stuck there doubled up with his knees to his chin.
"O Lord! O Lord!" he said. "What shall I do? what shall I do?—all my cakes gone, and never to be paid!"
"You won't want to be paid if your head's cut off," the beggar said.
But the Queen answered, "Nonsense. No one's going to cut your head off; and I dare say, if you ask them at the palace, they'll pay you, whatever it means. Just pull him out of the tub," she continued to the beggar, for the unfortunate honey-baker, not being able to move, remained gasping36 in the tub.
So the beggar pulled him out, and, for all his fright, his business spirit did not desert him.
"Will your Majesty deign37 to sign an order for payment?" he said.
And the Queen answered, "Good gracious, no, I won't; the ink always gets into my finger-nails."
The honey-cake maker bowed lower still. "At least, your Majesty, deign to give me your signet-ring as a token."
"Oh, I'll give you that," the Queen said; and she drew it from her finger.
The honey-cake maker suddenly smote38 his forehead with his hand, as though an idea had struck him.
"You might carry that ladder out for me," he said to the beggar, indicating a ladder that lay along the passage wall.
The beggar did as he was asked, and placed it against the house.
"Whatever is he going to do now?" the Queen thought to herself, and, being in the street, awaited the turn of events.
Presently the honey-cake maker came out, carrying a pail of black paint and a large brush, and, thus equipped, ascended the ladder and began to paint, under the
"JAMES GRUBB,
Honey-cake Maker,"
"to Her Majesty the Queen and the R——"
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1
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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traitorous
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| adj. 叛国的, 不忠的, 背信弃义的 | |
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faction
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| n.宗派，小集团；派别；派系斗争 | |
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writs
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| n.书面命令，令状( writ的名词复数 ) | |
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scroll
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| n.卷轴，纸卷；(石刻上的)漩涡 | |
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8
contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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9
tyrant
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| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
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tyrants
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| 专制统治者( tyrant的名词复数 )； 暴君似的人； （古希腊的）僭主； 严酷的事物 | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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wasteful
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| adj.（造成）浪费的，挥霍的 | |
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13
flannel
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| n.法兰绒；法兰绒衣服 | |
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14
rheumatism
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| n.风湿病 | |
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backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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16
armour
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| （=armor）n.盔甲；装甲部队 | |
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17
blot
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| vt.弄脏（用吸墨纸）吸干；n.污点，污渍 | |
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18
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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secondly
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| adv.第二，其次 | |
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irritable
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| adj.急躁的；过敏的；易怒的 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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23
basking
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| v.晒太阳，取暖( bask的现在分词 )；对…感到乐趣；因他人的功绩而出名；仰仗…的余泽 | |
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ragged
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| adj.衣衫褴褛的，粗糙的，刺耳的 | |
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alacrity
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| n.敏捷，轻快，乐意 | |
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traitors
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| 卖国贼( traitor的名词复数 )； 叛徒； 背叛者； 背信弃义的人 | |
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charred
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| v.把…烧成炭( char的过去式)；烧焦 | |
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28
shutters
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| 百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 )； （照相机的）快门 | |
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29
maker
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| n.制造者，制造商 | |
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dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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31
clatter
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| v./n.(使)发出连续而清脆的撞击声 | |
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32
reassure
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| v.使放心，使消除疑虑 | |
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nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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suavely
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35
lining
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| n.衬里，衬料 | |
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gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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deign
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| v. 屈尊, 惠允 ( 做某事) | |
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smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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