I am compassionate11, and believe that I pay my debts of charity toward those who have wrecked12 their life; but when a starving fellow begs alms [Pg 173] of me, or pleads his large family or many children as an excuse for his moral and physical demoralisation, anger gets the better of me and I exclaim: Why, then, did you have so many?
And this exclamation13 is not an insult to misery14 nor a curse; it is the voice of reason, which if it could be heard in the homes of the poor would suffice to solve the social problem. I am a Malthusian impenitent15, and as long as I live I shall always say to those struggling with poverty:
Love, but do not beget16 children.
In vain priests and rugged17 moralists of Providence5 combat Malthusianism, which has now become a social institution, and without the need of written codes governs the economy of [Pg 174] the family in France, Italy, Germany, and even in chaste18 and fecund19 Albion.
In vain my Elementi d’Igiene were put ad indice, for from year to year the Malthusian apostolate has made new disciples20, and will continue to do so.
Neither do I side with those who believe, with too great a faith or fanaticism21, that a restriction22 in the number of births is sufficient to resolve the social problem. No, certainly not; it is not enough; but it clears the ground of the most thorny23 brambles among which human felicity gets entangled24; and a comparison between the proletariat in the populous25 cities of Europe and that of the desert regions of South America is sufficient to convince us that prolific26 improvidence [Pg 175] is also the prolific mother of hunger, disease, and death.
If, then, you are not a Malthusian, nor desire to be converted to the new doctrine27, if you have no straw to build your nest, do not take a wife, but increase the glorious number of the animals of rapine and cuckoos.
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I know very well that the most hateful and disagreeable problem of matrimony is the economic, but we cannot avoid nor solve it by shutting our eyes and disregarding it.
To love and be loved, to feel that our life is doubled and the horizons of the future enlarged, to drink from the eyes of a woman who is a perfect fountain of delight, to feel the doors of [Pg 176] paradise opened to us by her lips; and then all at once to be obliged to speak of income and dowry amidst such intoxicating28 pleasures; then to remember between one kiss and another that to harbour all this paradise we do not possess, I cannot say a house, but not even the most modest of rooms! It is hard, cruel, abominable29, but it is necessary!
The quart d’heure de Rabelais in the affairs of love, and the exclamation of the Trappists who at table say to their brethren: Remember we must all die, are the waiters who, entering the guest chamber30, present the bill to the gay and thoughtless merry-makers. But in matrimony the accounts must be made out before, and drawn31 up seriously, calmly, and inexorably.
[Pg 177]
There is only one man in whose case I could overlook a want of this prudence32, and it is he who feels that he has the strength to fight for and the energy to gain a position, and to the man who strikes his forehead and exclaims, Numen adest. What does it matter if such a man has no fortune, nor even a dowry with her whom he loves? He has faith in himself founded not upon pride, but upon the consciousness of knowledge and power; and this is more than a patrimony33, for neither phylloxera, bank failures, nor shipwreck34 can assail35 it. It will last as long as life itself, and its results still longer.
But how many such men are there? With the experience of more than half a century I recommend all others [Pg 178] to use such foresight36 as is near akin37 to fear. The whole history of Italian finance, and the whole chronology of our innumerable ministers of finance, teach us that the balance of expenditure38 is always greater than that of the income. Just fancy when these are added up by that maddest of treasury39 ministers whose name is Love!
The following words must have been repeated more than a thousand times between a kiss and a sigh, A cottage and your heart!
But common sense has succeeded in throwing so much cold water on the phrase as to render it ridiculous, and to relegate40 it to the museum of comic virtues42. However, notwithstanding the many years I have lived, I still [Pg 179] have the ingenuous43 good nature to believe this phrase when it comes warmly and spontaneously from two loving hearts, and when those two hearts live in two organisms superior in intelligence and sentiment it may yet be true; the cottage may soon become a house, perhaps even a palace.
But how many such are there?
The rest no longer say, A cottage and your heart; but, A palace even without your heart. A hundred thousand francs income, with or without the heart.
In the first pages of this book we have seen how and why the economic consideration dominates marriage in civilised society with all the rigour of a tyrant44, how it commands everything, [Pg 180] and is the “to be or not to be” of a family.
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As regards the balance of fortune, the ideal in marriage would be that both husband and wife should be equally rich, or both have moderate means. It is not necessary that there should be absolute equality, but it ought to approach it. In these fortunate cases the equality of the income increases the dignity of the family to a fellowship, and is necessarily accompanied by many other harmonies of habits, tastes, and needs.
An hyper-ideal of perfection would be this, that although the amount of these incomes may be the same, the separate units should be of a different [Pg 181] nature. Thus if the husband be a rich land owner the wife should hold house property; and if she has a large share of money in the funds the other should own lands or houses. In this way even the most unexpected political or meteoric45 disturbances46 would never strand47 the family. In many cases a good profession in the hands of the husband is equivalent to a rich dowry in the wife; but even here one must remember that life is uncertain, death certain. And, in truth, where the income proceeds entirely48 from the work of the father of the family this very fact is often a cause of ruin to the family well-being49. They have no land, houses, nor money in the funds; a lucrative50 employment gives them riches, and parents and [Pg 182] children live upon them without putting a penny aside. Then a railway accident or some illness unexpectedly kills the father, and from a gay, rich life they are reduced to the most squalid misery.
Empleomania is a Spanish word, and it sprung up in Spain as if in its native soil, but if we have not registered it in our classical dictionaries we have the equivalent in the speech of the common people. And above all we unfortunately have the thing it represents; and it is one of the most exact measures of our inertia51 of intellect and will. In the middle class, and especially in its lower ranks, the daily dream of the good mother of a family is to give her daughter to a government official, [Pg 183] and it is the dream of a thousand small men, young, short-sighted fellows of slight phrenic development, to have some official situation, no matter what, so that in the morning they are not obliged to think how they can pass the day or to make any itinerary52, but just go to the office at fixed53 hours, and at fixed hours return home. To do what others desire them to do, without the trouble of thinking themselves, and to muse41 on the sweets of the Sunday rest for six days in advance; for eleven months to feel the delights of the twelfth, that of the vacation, and to be able to think that every month of the year has a certain day which bears the number 27: a blessed day on which, [Pg 184] whether it rains or pours, whether Liberals or Conservatives are in power, whether Crispi or Rudini is ruling, the paymaster is ready and they receive their salary—ah! these are serene54 and tranquil55 pleasures which make mothers weep for joy, wives leap for pleasure, and the hearts dance in nine-tenths of those Italian bipeds who love the peace and security of the morrow ... and the 27th of the month.
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If there be an inequality in the riches of two married people it is a hundred times better that it should be in favour of the husband.
A woman is never humiliated56 when she is poor and marries a rich man, [Pg 185] or when, with moderate means, she marries a millionaire. However much she may be oppressed by social laws, however often she be placed below man in position, she brings him so many treasures with her beauty, youth, grace, and all the prizes of her womanhood that they weigh in equal value to gold, millions, and coats of arms rich with a hundred emblazonings.
There is perhaps another less noble, but more human, reason, which explains the inequality of our judgment57 on the subject of matrimony between persons with different amounts of income.
It is precisely because the woman is set a peg58 below us by law and custom that she can accept riches [Pg 186] from us without any feeling of shame; besides, it is very difficult, if not often impossible, for her to gain sufficient by hand or brain work to maintain the family. Everything, then, conspires59 to enable her to give her hand to a rich man without selling or prostituting herself.
When instead of this it is the man who accepts the riches from the woman, without balancing them by great genius or by a very high social position, he always renounces60 that manly61 dignity which ought to be his nobility; he stands degraded before his wife, lowered, and at the least collision with vanity or passion he may be struck full in the face by an insult which ought to sink into his very heart.
[Pg 187]
I know several cases in which a very rich woman fell desperately62 in love with a handsome, cultivated, but poor young man, and he to save his own dignity fled from her love. And the lady followed and conquered him, trusting courageously63 to the proverb, Ce que femme veut, Dieu le veut!
They were married, and he loved her, working constantly with his pen, brush, or chisel64, having sworn to himself and to her that he would only live by his work. Noble and touching65 struggles for personal dignity, of love and pride, which one but seldom sees, but which console our sight, daily saddened by so many simonies of luxuries, so many pretences66 of heroism67, so many individual, social, and political lies, which darken the [Pg 188] air so heavily that it is difficult for the sun to penetrate68 the cloud.
Whoever makes a business of marriage will laugh cordially at me, and at my sentimental69 fantasies.
Let him laugh! I do not pretend to teach him how to make marriage a paradise on earth. He will continue to seek a golden dowry, and if he has a great coat of arms and an empty purse he will put the first up at auction70 in order to fill the second; and if the game should succeed he will carry his wife’s money to the gaming table, the turf, or to the cabinet of the cocotte, and feel himself happy to have gained in one day that which others cannot obtain with all the hard work of a laborious71 and pure life.
Lying on a Turkish divan72, smoking [Pg 189] a perfumed Havana, he will raise to himself a monument of admiration73 and acknowledgment amidst the blue fumes74 of his cigar.
And is he happy? Happy, perhaps, but never enviable; for I know no true and durable75 happiness which degrades dignity, which hides itself in the depths of the soul, which can silence itself with the gag of sophism76 and the accommodation of conscience, but that, like a steel spring, it will burst and spring from its bonds the more unexpectedly the greater the repression77. A man who in the inexorable soliloquies of his own conscience has something on which he dare not think, or has a room in his house which he can never visit without a shudder78 or remorse79, is never happy.
And even if the long training in cynicism succeeds in silencing the cry of repressed dignity, there will come a day of domestic discord80, of duels81 fought between husband and wife, with the weapon of bitter smiles, cruel compliments, and insinuations full of perfidy82 and venom83, a day when the wife, striking her fan on the arm-chair with little convulsive blows, will cry: But in short, my good fellow, I keep you.... If that man, in such a moment does not redden to the roots of his hair, if at that moment his saliva84 is not changed to gall85, nor forms a lump in his throat, if he does not feel his very heart and source of life poisoned, that man is not a man, but an unclean animal who has sold his manhood for a [Pg 191] handful of gold; he is a most abject86 being, a hundred times more despicable than the poor prostitute who sells her body to gain her daily bread.
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1
improvident
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| adj.不顾将来的，不节俭的，无远见的 | |
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gratuitously
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| 平白 | |
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baker
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| n.面包师 | |
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improvidence
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| n.目光短浅 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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decadence
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| n.衰落，颓废 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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unemployed
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| adj.失业的，没有工作的；未动用的，闲置的 | |
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succumbing
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的现在分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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renounce
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| v.放弃；拒绝承认，宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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compassionate
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| adj.有同情心的，表示同情的 | |
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wrecked
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| adj.失事的，遇难的 | |
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exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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impenitent
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| adj.不悔悟的，顽固的 | |
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beget
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| v.引起；产生 | |
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rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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chaste
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| adj.贞洁的；有道德的；善良的；简朴的 | |
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fecund
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| adj.多产的，丰饶的，肥沃的 | |
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disciples
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| n.信徒( disciple的名词复数 )；门徒；耶稣的信徒；（尤指）耶稣十二门徒之一 | |
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fanaticism
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| n.狂热，盲信 | |
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restriction
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| n.限制，约束 | |
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thorny
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| adj.多刺的，棘手的 | |
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entangled
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| adj.卷入的；陷入的；被缠住的；缠在一起的v.使某人（某物/自己）缠绕，纠缠于（某物中），使某人（自己）陷入（困难或复杂的环境中）( entangle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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populous
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| adj.人口稠密的，人口众多的 | |
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prolific
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| adj.丰富的，大量的；多产的，富有创造力的 | |
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doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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intoxicating
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| a. 醉人的,使人兴奋的 | |
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abominable
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| adj.可厌的，令人憎恶的 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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prudence
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| n.谨慎，精明，节俭 | |
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patrimony
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| n.世袭财产，继承物 | |
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shipwreck
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| n.船舶失事，海难 | |
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assail
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| v.猛烈攻击，抨击，痛斥 | |
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foresight
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| n.先见之明，深谋远虑 | |
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akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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expenditure
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| n.(时间、劳力、金钱等)支出；使用，消耗 | |
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treasury
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| n.宝库；国库，金库；文库 | |
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relegate
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| v.使降级，流放，移交，委任 | |
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muse
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| n.缪斯（希腊神话中的女神），创作灵感 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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ingenuous
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| adj.纯朴的，单纯的；天真的；坦率的 | |
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tyrant
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| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
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meteoric
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| adj.流星的，转瞬即逝的，突然的 | |
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disturbances
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| n.骚乱( disturbance的名词复数 )；打扰；困扰；障碍 | |
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strand
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| vt.使（船）搁浅，使（某人）困于（某地） | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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well-being
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| n.安康，安乐，幸福 | |
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lucrative
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| adj.赚钱的，可获利的 | |
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inertia
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| adj.惰性，惯性，懒惰，迟钝 | |
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itinerary
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| n.行程表，旅行路线；旅行计划 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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humiliated
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| 感到羞愧的 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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peg
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| n.木栓，木钉；vt.用木钉钉，用短桩固定 | |
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conspires
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| 密谋( conspire的第三人称单数 )； 搞阴谋； （事件等）巧合； 共同导致 | |
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renounces
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| v.声明放弃( renounce的第三人称单数 )；宣布放弃；宣布与…决裂；宣布摒弃 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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courageously
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| ad.勇敢地，无畏地 | |
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chisel
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| n.凿子；v.用凿子刻，雕，凿 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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pretences
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| n.假装( pretence的名词复数 )；作假；自命；自称 | |
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heroism
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| n.大无畏精神，英勇 | |
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penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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auction
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| n.拍卖；拍卖会；vt.拍卖 | |
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laborious
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| adj.吃力的，努力的，不流畅 | |
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divan
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| n.长沙发；（波斯或其他东方诗人的）诗集 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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fumes
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| n.(强烈而刺激的)气味，气体 | |
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durable
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| adj.持久的，耐久的 | |
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sophism
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| n.诡辩 | |
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repression
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| n.镇压，抑制，抑压 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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discord
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| n.不和，意见不合，争论，（音乐）不和谐 | |
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duels
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| n.两男子的决斗( duel的名词复数 )；竞争，斗争 | |
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perfidy
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| n.背信弃义，不忠贞 | |
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venom
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| n.毒液，恶毒，痛恨 | |
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saliva
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| n.唾液，口水 | |
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85
gall
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| v.使烦恼，使焦躁，难堪；n.磨难 | |
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abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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