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首页 » 英文短篇小说 » Autobiography of a Child » Chapter XI. PREPARING TO FACE THE WORLD.
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Chapter XI. PREPARING TO FACE THE WORLD.
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Was it six weeks or six months since I left that big town house, a disgraced and blighted1 little being? Time to a child is so unequal a matter. A month may seem a century, a year appear vaguer than a dream. Indeed, I have never yet been able to tell myself how long a space of time actually separated my good-bye to Kildare and my departure for England. Multiplied experiences combined to mislead me.

Simultaneously2 with the opening of the cab-door opened the big door of my stepfather's house, and a group of little golden heads showed in the dark frame. Feet and hands and voluble lips and eyes played together, and for a very brief while I enjoyed the sensations of a heroine.

This small world was excited prospectively3 at the thought of my coming adventures. I was soon to represent to them the unknown, the elsewhere, the eternal dream of "far fair foreign lands." Things were to happen to me that never[Pg 108] yet happened to mortal. I was to be snubbed by and to subdue4 a haughty5 people. Perhaps if I did something extremely outrageous6 I should be put into prison, with chains round my feet and wrists. Pending7 which, I was to travel for several hours by land and several hours by water.

"She has come already," they shouted gleefully. "Oh, such a dreadful person, Angela! taller than papa, and the skin is quite tight round her eyes and mouth as if she couldn't laugh."

She was, indeed, an odd-looking woman, the jailer to whom my parents so unconcernedly confided8 me. Not unkind, but austere9 and grotesque10 in her black cap and long black veil. She had left a Tipperary village to become a lady of Mercy in the English convent, and to her was intrusted the care of my deported11 self. In religion her name was Sister Clare, and the impression she has left on me is that of an inoffensive policeman masquerading in woman's attire12, with limbs too long for a decorous management of them, honest, cold blue eyes, and, instead of the vivid hues13 of life upon the lean cheek, discoloured parchment drawn14 without a wrinkle tightly over the high-boned impassible visage.

I had the bad taste to show fright upon sight[Pg 109] of her lugubrious15 garb16 of postulant, and like the little savage17 I was, passionately18 declined her proffered19 kiss; but when my stepfather held me on his knees beside her, and spoke20 to her with his charming affability, I let myself be coaxed21 into equable endurance of the queer picture. I saw then that she was not dangerous. Indulgence lurked22 beneath the austere expression, and if the glance was cold, it was neither hard nor cruel.

Up-stairs in the nursery the hours passed tumultuously in a frenzy23 of discussion. Each little head was busy forging its theory of deportment and action in circumstances so strange and adventurous24 as those of a baby girl going out alone among the sharks and foreigners of a cold undreamed-of world. The immediate25 fear was that I should disgrace my land by my Kildare accent. My eldest26 sister contemptuously declared that I talked "just like that disgusting little girl with the oily black ringlets"; and the imminence27 of a shower at the abrupt28 reference to the dear and absent Mary Jane, so far away, so unconscious of my perils29 and terrors and importance, averted30 an outburst of indignation at the wanton insult cast upon her picturesque31 head.
 
It was regarded as an aggravation32 of my imperfections that I could not write, else I might have kept up the lively excitement of my departure by a raw account of my adventures. But by the time I should have mastered the difficult art of writing and spelling, I should probably have forgotten all my wonderful experiences, and they would have lost all interest in the story of my early travels.

If my mother had been an early Christian33 or a socialist34, she could not have shown herself a more inveterate35 enemy of personal property. Never through infancy36, youth, or middle age has she permitted any of her offspring to preserve relics37, gifts, or souvenirs. Treasures of every kind she pounced38 upon, and either destroyed or gave away,—partly from a love of inflicting39 pain, partly from an iconoclastic40 temper, but more than anything from a despotic ferocity of self-assertion. The preserving of relics, of the thousand and one little absurdities41 sentiment and fancy ever cling to, implied something beyond her power, something she could not hope to touch or destroy, implied above all an inner life existing independent of her harsh authority. The outward signs of this mental independence she ever ruthlessly effaced42.
 
And my desolation was great when I found the old wooden box I had brought up from Kildare empty of all my beloved little relics of a fugitive43 happiness and of yearned-for friends. Gone the mug with somebody else's name upon it, gone the plate with the little white knobs and the painted black dog, gone my book about cocks and hens, the gift of that vision of romance, my godfather, swallowed up radiantly in Chinese yellow. Gone, alas44! Stevie's "Robinson Crusoe" and his knife, and every tiny possession of a tiny sentimentalist, whose heart was so famished45 for love and kind words and kisses, and clung the more eagerly for this to these poor trifles.

I sat on the floor beside my empty box, and refused to be comforted. These things were to have softened46 the rigours of exile, might have gone with me to the scaffold as sustainment and benediction47, if I had the misfortune to rouse the ire of that mysterious being, the Queen, whom Mary Jane depicted48 as sitting on a high throne, with a crown on her head and a knife in her hand for the necks of the unruly Irish.

But I had nothing now to take to bed with me, nothing to hug and weep over, nothing to tell my sorrows to when the society and [Pg 112]persecution of big people become intolerable. I stood, or rather sat, alone in a desolate49 universe, with the violated coffin50 of my regrets in front of me. Being worn out with all I had gone through that day, I probably fell asleep sobbing51 against the empty box, and night robbed me of any further sense of misfortune.

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 blighted zxQzsD     
adj.枯萎的,摧毁的
参考例句:
  • Blighted stems often canker.有病的茎往往溃烂。
  • She threw away a blighted rose.她把枯萎的玫瑰花扔掉了。
2 simultaneously 4iBz1o     
adv.同时发生地,同时进行地
参考例句:
  • The radar beam can track a number of targets almost simultaneously.雷达波几乎可以同时追着多个目标。
  • The Windows allow a computer user to execute multiple programs simultaneously.Windows允许计算机用户同时运行多个程序。
3 prospectively 5fe3763abe4b465ffcf4c83877fccdf6     
adv.预期; 前瞻性; 潜在; 可能
参考例句:
  • Methods: Twenty-four cases with JAS were prospectively analyzed and followed up. 方法对24例JAS进行前瞻性分析及随访研究。 来自互联网
  • Our study appears to be the only one a prospectively randomized investigation of 2 different surgeries. 我们的研究似乎是仅有的一个对2种术式前瞻性随机性研究。 来自互联网
4 subdue ltTwO     
vt.制服,使顺从,征服;抑制,克制
参考例句:
  • She tried to subdue her anger.她尽力压制自己的怒火。
  • He forced himself to subdue and overcome his fears.他强迫自己克制并战胜恐惧心理。
5 haughty 4dKzq     
adj.傲慢的,高傲的
参考例句:
  • He gave me a haughty look and walked away.他向我摆出傲慢的表情后走开。
  • They were displeased with her haughty airs.他们讨厌她高傲的派头。
6 outrageous MvFyH     
adj.无理的,令人不能容忍的
参考例句:
  • Her outrageous behaviour at the party offended everyone.她在聚会上的无礼行为触怒了每一个人。
  • Charges for local telephone calls are particularly outrageous.本地电话资费贵得出奇。
7 pending uMFxw     
prep.直到,等待…期间;adj.待定的;迫近的
参考例句:
  • The lawsuit is still pending in the state court.这案子仍在州法庭等待定夺。
  • He knew my examination was pending.他知道我就要考试了。
8 confided 724f3f12e93e38bec4dda1e47c06c3b1     
v.吐露(秘密,心事等)( confide的过去式和过去分词 );(向某人)吐露(隐私、秘密等)
参考例句:
  • She confided all her secrets to her best friend. 她向她最要好的朋友倾吐了自己所有的秘密。
  • He confided to me that he had spent five years in prison. 他私下向我透露,他蹲过五年监狱。 来自《简明英汉词典》
9 austere GeIyW     
adj.艰苦的;朴素的,朴实无华的;严峻的
参考例句:
  • His way of life is rather austere.他的生活方式相当简朴。
  • The room was furnished in austere style.这间屋子的陈设都很简单朴素。
10 grotesque O6ryZ     
adj.怪诞的,丑陋的;n.怪诞的图案,怪人(物)
参考例句:
  • His face has a grotesque appearance.他的面部表情十分怪。
  • Her account of the incident was a grotesque distortion of the truth.她对这件事的陈述是荒诞地歪曲了事实。
11 deported 97686e795f0449007421091b03c3297e     
v.将…驱逐出境( deport的过去式和过去分词 );举止
参考例句:
  • They stripped me of my citizenship and deported me. 他们剥夺我的公民资格,将我驱逐出境。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The convicts were deported to a deserted island. 罪犯们被流放到一个荒岛。 来自《简明英汉词典》
12 attire AN0zA     
v.穿衣,装扮[同]array;n.衣着;盛装
参考例句:
  • He had no intention of changing his mode of attire.他无意改变着装方式。
  • Her attention was attracted by his peculiar attire.他那奇特的服装引起了她的注意。
13 hues adb36550095392fec301ed06c82f8920     
色彩( hue的名词复数 ); 色调; 信仰; 观点
参考例句:
  • When the sun rose a hundred prismatic hues were reflected from it. 太阳一出,更把它映得千变万化、异彩缤纷。
  • Where maple trees grow, the leaves are often several brilliant hues of red. 在枫树生长的地方,枫叶常常呈现出数种光彩夺目的红色。
14 drawn MuXzIi     
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的
参考例句:
  • All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
  • Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。
15 lugubrious IAmxn     
adj.悲哀的,忧郁的
参考例句:
  • That long,lugubrious howl rose on the night air again!夜空中又传来了那又长又凄凉的狗叫声。
  • After the earthquake,the city is full of lugubrious faces.地震之后,这个城市满是悲哀的面孔。
16 garb JhYxN     
n.服装,装束
参考例句:
  • He wore the garb of a general.他身着将军的制服。
  • Certain political,social,and legal forms reappear in seemingly different garb.一些政治、社会和法律的形式在表面不同的外衣下重复出现。
17 savage ECxzR     
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人
参考例句:
  • The poor man received a savage beating from the thugs.那可怜的人遭到暴徒的痛打。
  • He has a savage temper.他脾气粗暴。
18 passionately YmDzQ4     
ad.热烈地,激烈地
参考例句:
  • She could hate as passionately as she could love. 她能恨得咬牙切齿,也能爱得一往情深。
  • He was passionately addicted to pop music. 他酷爱流行音乐。
19 proffered 30a424e11e8c2d520c7372bd6415ad07     
v.提供,贡献,提出( proffer的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • She proffered her cheek to kiss. 她伸过自己的面颊让人亲吻。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He rose and proffered a silver box full of cigarettes. 他站起身,伸手递过一个装满香烟的银盒子。 来自辞典例句
20 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
21 coaxed dc0a6eeb597861b0ed72e34e52490cd1     
v.哄,用好话劝说( coax的过去式和过去分词 );巧言骗取;哄劝,劝诱
参考例句:
  • She coaxed the horse into coming a little closer. 她哄着那匹马让它再靠近了一点。
  • I coaxed my sister into taking me to the theatre. 我用好话哄姐姐带我去看戏。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
22 lurked 99c07b25739e85120035a70192a2ec98     
vi.潜伏,埋伏(lurk的过去式与过去分词形式)
参考例句:
  • The murderers lurked behind the trees. 谋杀者埋伏在树后。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Treachery lurked behind his smooth manners. 他圆滑姿态的后面潜伏着奸计。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
23 frenzy jQbzs     
n.疯狂,狂热,极度的激动
参考例句:
  • He was able to work the young students up into a frenzy.他能激起青年学生的狂热。
  • They were singing in a frenzy of joy.他们欣喜若狂地高声歌唱。
24 adventurous LKryn     
adj.爱冒险的;惊心动魄的,惊险的,刺激的 
参考例句:
  • I was filled with envy at their adventurous lifestyle.我很羨慕他们敢于冒险的生活方式。
  • He was predestined to lead an adventurous life.他注定要过冒险的生活。
25 immediate aapxh     
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的
参考例句:
  • His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
  • We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。
26 eldest bqkx6     
adj.最年长的,最年老的
参考例句:
  • The King's eldest son is the heir to the throne.国王的长子是王位的继承人。
  • The castle and the land are entailed on the eldest son.城堡和土地限定由长子继承。
27 imminence yc5z3     
n.急迫,危急
参考例句:
  • The imminence of their exams made them work harder.考试即将来临,迫使他们更用功了。
  • He had doubt about the imminence of war.他不相信战争已迫在眉睫。
28 abrupt 2fdyh     
adj.突然的,意外的;唐突的,鲁莽的
参考例句:
  • The river takes an abrupt bend to the west.这河突然向西转弯。
  • His abrupt reply hurt our feelings.他粗鲁的回答伤了我们的感情。
29 perils 3c233786f6fe7aad593bf1198cc33cbe     
极大危险( peril的名词复数 ); 危险的事(或环境)
参考例句:
  • The commander bade his men be undaunted in the face of perils. 指挥员命令他的战士要临危不惧。
  • With how many more perils and disasters would he load himself? 他还要再冒多少风险和遭受多少灾难?
30 averted 35a87fab0bbc43636fcac41969ed458a     
防止,避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 ); 转移
参考例句:
  • A disaster was narrowly averted. 及时防止了一场灾难。
  • Thanks to her skilful handling of the affair, the problem was averted. 多亏她对事情处理得巧妙,才避免了麻烦。
31 picturesque qlSzeJ     
adj.美丽如画的,(语言)生动的,绘声绘色的
参考例句:
  • You can see the picturesque shores beside the river.在河边你可以看到景色如画的两岸。
  • That was a picturesque phrase.那是一个形象化的说法。
32 aggravation PKYyD     
n.烦恼,恼火
参考例句:
  • She stirred in aggravation as she said this. 她说这句话,激动得过分。
  • Can't stand the aggravation, all day I get aggravation. You know how it is." 我整天都碰到令人发火的事,你可想而知这是什么滋味。” 来自教父部分
33 Christian KVByl     
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒
参考例句:
  • They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
  • His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。
34 socialist jwcws     
n.社会主义者;adj.社会主义的
参考例句:
  • China is a socialist country,and a developing country as well.中国是一个社会主义国家,也是一个发展中国家。
  • His father was an ardent socialist.他父亲是一个热情的社会主义者。
35 inveterate q4ox5     
adj.积习已深的,根深蒂固的
参考例句:
  • Hitler was not only an avid reader but also an inveterate underliner.希特勒不仅酷爱读书,还有写写划划的习惯。
  • It is hard for an inveterate smoker to give up tobacco.要一位有多年烟瘾的烟民戒烟是困难的。
36 infancy F4Ey0     
n.婴儿期;幼年期;初期
参考例句:
  • He came to England in his infancy.他幼年时期来到英国。
  • Their research is only in its infancy.他们的研究处于初级阶段。
37 relics UkMzSr     
[pl.]n.遗物,遗迹,遗产;遗体,尸骸
参考例句:
  • The area is a treasure house of archaeological relics. 这个地区是古文物遗迹的宝库。
  • Xi'an is an ancient city full of treasures and saintly relics. 西安是一个有很多宝藏和神圣的遗物的古老城市。
38 pounced 431de836b7c19167052c79f53bdf3b61     
v.突然袭击( pounce的过去式和过去分词 );猛扑;一眼看出;抓住机会(进行抨击)
参考例句:
  • As soon as I opened my mouth, the teacher pounced on me. 我一张嘴就被老师抓住呵斥了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The police pounced upon the thief. 警察向小偷扑了过去。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
39 inflicting 1c8a133a3354bfc620e3c8d51b3126ae     
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • He was charged with maliciously inflicting grievous bodily harm. 他被控蓄意严重伤害他人身体。
  • It's impossible to do research without inflicting some pain on animals. 搞研究不让动物遭点罪是不可能的。
40 iconoclastic bbmxD     
adj.偶像破坏的,打破旧习的
参考例句:
  • His iconoclastic tendencies can get him into trouble. 他与传统信仰相悖的思想倾向可能会给他带来麻烦。 来自辞典例句
  • The film is an iconoclastic allegory. 电影是一个关于破坏的寓言。 来自互联网
41 absurdities df766e7f956019fcf6a19cc2525cadfb     
n.极端无理性( absurdity的名词复数 );荒谬;谬论;荒谬的行为
参考例句:
  • She has a sharp eye for social absurdities, and compassion for the victims of social change. 她独具慧眼,能够看到社会上荒唐的事情,对于社会变革的受害者寄以同情。 来自辞典例句
  • The absurdities he uttered at the dinner party landed his wife in an awkward situation. 他在宴会上讲的荒唐话使他太太陷入窘境。 来自辞典例句
42 effaced 96bc7c37d0e2e4d8665366db4bc7c197     
v.擦掉( efface的过去式和过去分词 );抹去;超越;使黯然失色
参考例句:
  • Someone has effaced part of the address on his letter. 有人把他信上的一部分地址擦掉了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • The name of the ship had been effaced from the menus. 那艘船的名字已经从菜单中删除了。 来自辞典例句
43 fugitive bhHxh     
adj.逃亡的,易逝的;n.逃犯,逃亡者
参考例句:
  • The police were able to deduce where the fugitive was hiding.警方成功地推断出那逃亡者躲藏的地方。
  • The fugitive is believed to be headed for the border.逃犯被认为在向国境线逃窜。
44 alas Rx8z1     
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)
参考例句:
  • Alas!The window is broken!哎呀!窗子破了!
  • Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而,真理很少带有浪漫色彩。
45 famished 0laxB     
adj.饥饿的
参考例句:
  • When's lunch?I'm famished!什么时候吃午饭?我饿得要死了!
  • My feet are now killing me and I'm absolutely famished.我的脚现在筋疲力尽,我绝对是极饿了。
46 softened 19151c4e3297eb1618bed6a05d92b4fe     
(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰
参考例句:
  • His smile softened slightly. 他的微笑稍柔和了些。
  • The ice cream softened and began to melt. 冰淇淋开始变软并开始融化。
47 benediction 6Q4y0     
n.祝福;恩赐
参考例句:
  • The priest pronounced a benediction over the couple at the end of the marriage ceremony.牧师在婚礼结束时为新婚夫妇祈求上帝赐福。
  • He went abroad with his parents' benediction.他带着父母的祝福出国去了。
48 depicted f657dbe7a96d326c889c083bf5fcaf24     
描绘,描画( depict的过去式和过去分词 ); 描述
参考例句:
  • Other animals were depicted on the periphery of the group. 其他动物在群像的外围加以修饰。
  • They depicted the thrilling situation to us in great detail. 他们向我们详细地描述了那激动人心的场面。
49 desolate vmizO     
adj.荒凉的,荒芜的;孤独的,凄凉的;v.使荒芜,使孤寂
参考例句:
  • The city was burned into a desolate waste.那座城市被烧成一片废墟。
  • We all felt absolutely desolate when she left.她走后,我们都觉得万分孤寂。
50 coffin XWRy7     
n.棺材,灵柩
参考例句:
  • When one's coffin is covered,all discussion about him can be settled.盖棺论定。
  • The coffin was placed in the grave.那口棺材已安放到坟墓里去了。
51 sobbing df75b14f92e64fc9e1d7eaf6dcfc083a     
<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的
参考例句:
  • I heard a child sobbing loudly. 我听见有个孩子在呜呜地哭。
  • Her eyes were red with recent sobbing. 她的眼睛因刚哭过而发红。


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