Not even popes, saints, or bishops10 were exempt11 from accusations12 of loving the juice of the grape, or of the apple, too well. We read in the adages13 of Erasmus that it was a proverb amongst the Germans that the lives of the monks consisted in nothing but eating and drinking. One H. Stephens says on this subject, in his apology for Herodotus:—
“But to return to these proverbs, theological wine, and the abbot’s, or prelate’s, table. I say {12} that without these one could never rightly understand the beautiful passage of Horace:—
Nunc est bibendum, nunc pede libero
Pulsanda tellus; nunc Saliaribus
Ornare pulvinar Deorum
Tempus erat dapibus sodales,
nor this other:—
Absumet haeres Caecuba dignior
Servata centum clavibus: et mero
Tinget pavimentum superbo
Pontificum potiore coenis.”
Modern popes have always had a reputation for abstemiousness15; but this same Mr. Stephens—who must have been somewhat of a slander-monger—in his same apology for Herodotus (what about the apology for Stephens?) mentions a popular little song of the day, which commenced:—
Le Pape qui est à Rome
Boit du vin comme un autre homme,
Et du l’Hypocras aussi.
And I can recall a cheery, albeit16 most likely libellous, song, which some of us used to sing at school, beginning:—
The Pope he leads a joyous17 life.
It appears to be a fact that many former popes drank hard; and if Petrarch is to be believed, the long stay made by the court of Rome at Avignon was on account of the excellence18 of the French wines; and that it was merely for that {13} reason that they stayed so long in Provence, and removed with so much reluctance19.
Now for the saints. Although the fact of his drinking deep has been denied, St. Augustine appears to have confessed to “a day out” occasionally, in some such words as these: “Thy servant has been sometimes crop-sick through excess of wine. Have mercy on me, that it may be ever far from me.”
Amongst the bishops one instance must suffice. “Pontus de Thiard,” as appears from an old translation of the works of an eminent20 Frenchman, “after having repented21 of the sins of his youth, came to be bishop of Chalons-sur-Soane; but, however, he did not renounce22 the power of drinking heavily, which seemed then inseparable from the quality of a good poet. He had a stomach big enough to empty the largest cellar; and the best wines of Burgundy were too gross for the subtility of the fire which devoured24 him. Every night, at going to bed, besides the ordinary doses of the day, in which he would not suffer the least drop of water, he used to drink a bottle before he slept. He enjoyed a strong, robust25, and vigorous health, to the age of fourscore.” Dear old Pontus!
Of all other mighty26 men, Alexander the Great serves to best point the moral of the evils of intemperance. Wearied of conquering, this hero gave himself up to debauchery in its worst and wildest forms. He killed his foster-brother in a fit of drunkenness, and sub-se-quent-ly, at the bidding of “lovely Thais,” queen of the {14} Athenian demi-monde, set fire to, and burnt to the ground, Persepolis, the wonder of the world. What an awakening27 Alec must have had! Not that he was the first, nor yet the last, man to make a fool, or rogue28, of himself, at the bidding of the (alleged) gentler sex. Cleopatra corrupted29 a few heroes, and as for La Pompadour?―― but those be other stories. Alexander the Great, who had lost most of his greatness by that time, died from the effects of chronic30 alcoholism; although they didn’t tell me as much as this at school.
Cambyses was but little removed from a sot. This prince, having been told by one of his courtiers that the people thought Cambyses indulged in too many “drunks” for the good of the nation, reached for his best bow and his sharpest arrow, and, the courtier having retired31 out of range, shot the courtier’s son through the heart; after which the prince enquired32 of the courtier: “Is this the act of a drunkard?” which reminds me of a more modern anecdote33, of a Piccadilly roysterer. But some men can shoot straighter, and ride better, and write more poetically34, when under the influence of the rosy35 god; and had this courtier been a man of the world he would not have touched on the subject of ebriation to his prince. For ebriates are but seldom proud of their weaknesses.
Darius, the first King of Persia, commanded that this epitaph, which is here translated, should be placed on his tomb: “I could drink much wine and bear it well.” Philip of Macedon, father of Alexander the Great, took too much wine on {15} occasion; to corroborate36 which fact we have the exclamation37 of the good lady whose prayer for justice he had refused to hear?—?this is a quotation38 beloved of members of Parliament—“I appeal from Philip drunk to Philip sober.” Dionysius the younger, tyrant39 of Sicily, frequently had vine-leaves in his hair for a week at a time; he drank himself almost blind, and his courtiers, in order to flatter him, pretended to be blind too, and neither ate nor drank anything unless it were handed to them by Dionysius himself. Tiberius was called Biberius, because of his excessive attachment40 to the bowl; and, in derision, they changed his surname of Nero to Mero. Bonosus, according to his own historian, Flavius Vobiscus, was a terrible soaker, and used to make the ambassadors, who came from foreign parts, even more drunk than himself, in order that he might discover their secret instructions.
I cannot glean41 from the ancient records that any monarch who reigned42 over Great Britain was an habitual43 drunkard, an absolute and confirmed sot. But many of them were given to conviviality44, notably45 Richard of the Lion Heart, Bluff King Hal?—?who had gout badly, and suffered also from obesity46 and other things—and the Merry Monarch. A story is told of the Second Charles, that when dining with the Lord Mayor, Sir Robert Viner, on one occasion—it was probably a 9th of November dinner at the Mansion House—the King noticed that most of the guests were uncomfortably uproarious, and, with his suite47, rose to leave the banqueting chamber48. Whereupon the Lord Mayor hastily {16} pursued him, caught hold of his robe, and exclaimed: “Sire, you shall take t’other bottle.” The King stopped, and with a graceful49 smile repeated a line of the old song, “He that is drunk is great as a king,” and with this compliment to his host, he returned, and took “t’other bottle.”
The immortal50 Pepys describes a Lord Mayor’s Feast which was given in 1663. It was served at one o’clock, and a bill of fare was placed, together with a salt-cellar, in front of every guest; whilst at the end of each table was a list of “persons proper” there to be seated. Pepys was placed at the merchant-strangers’ table, “where ten good dishes to a mess, with plenty of wine of all sorts.” Napkins and knives were, however, only supplied at the Lord Mayor’s table to him and the Lords of the Privy51 Council; and Pepys complains bitterly that he and those who were seated with him had no napkins nor change of trenchers, and had to drink out of earthen pitchers52. He, however, took his spoon and fork away with him, as was customary in those days with all guests invited to entertainments. But as each guest brought his own tools, nobody was the worse for this custom. The dinner, says Pepys, was provided by the Mayor and two sheriffs for the time being, and the whole cost was between ￡700 and ￡800.
We are not told what was drunk at the Mansion House on that occasion, but I have a list before me of the potables served at the Lord Mayor’s banquet in 1782—more than a century later—which seems deserving of mention in this little work:— {17}
Port ?438 bottles
Lisbon ?220 ?
Madeira ??90 ?
Claret ?168 ?
Champagne53 ?143 ?
Burgundy ?116 ?
Malmsey, or Sack ???4 ?
Brandy ???4 ?
Hock ??66 ?
Grand Total 1249 ?
There be several remarkable54 features in the above list. I had imagined that a taste for claret had not been fully55 acquired by the British ratepayer until some years later than this; whilst the virtues56 of champagne could not have been fully recognized. Lisbon, I conceive to have been another sort of port, and this seems to have been neck-and-cork above all other vintages in popular favour. The taste for such mawkish57 stuff as malmsey must have been at vanishing point; whilst one is led to ask what, with only such a minute allowance of sack, did these feasters drink with their soup? Was the succulency of calipash and calipee known in those days; and if so, where was the harmless necessary milk-punch? But the most remarkable feature of all in the above catalogue is the meagre allowance of brandy for the crowd. The parable23 of the loaves and fishes would not appear more miraculous58 than that, in these later days, a multitude could be filled, after a big dinner, with four bottles of cognac! And this despite the fact of whisky having almost entirely59 usurped60 the place of the other strong-water. {18}
One hundred years ago, to be “drunk as a lord” was considered the height of human happiness. And at this period the Church had not severed61 its old connection with alcohol. In fact intemperance was encouraged by our pastors62 and masters; and in certain districts of England the churchwardens, at Whitsuntide, made collections of malt from the parishioners, and this was brewed63 into strong ale, and sold in the churches, the money so obtained being expended64 on the repairs of the sacred edifices65; and it was a frequent and a saddening spectacle to see men who had drunk not wisely reeling about the aisles66. Until as late as 1827—in which year the license67 was withdrawn—a church and a tavern were covered by the same roof, in the parish of Deepdale, a village between Derby and Nottingham; and a door which could be opened at will led from the altar to the tap-room.
A Romish priest wrote in praise of the bowl as follows:—
Si bene commemini, causae sunt quinque bibendi:
Hospitis adventus; praesens sitis; atque futura;
Aut vini bonitas; aut quaelibet altera causa.
Which comforting and jovial sentiments were thus adapted for the use of colleges and private bars, by Dean Aldrich, D.D., the great master of logic14 at Oxford:—
There are, if I do rightly think,
Five reasons why a man should drink:
Good wine, a friend, or being dry,
Or lest you should be by and by?――
Or any other reason why. {19}
But after all no nation ever did themselves so well, in the matter of wines, as the inhabitants of bad old ancient Rome.
“It was to excess of drinking,” wrote Whyte Melville, in The Gladiators, “that the gluttons68 of that period looked as the especial relief of every entertainment; since the hope of each seemed to be that when thoroughly69 flooded, and so to speak washed out with wine, he might begin eating again. The Roman was no drunkard, like the barbarian70, for the sake of that wild excitement of the brain which is purchased by intoxication71. No, he ate to repletion72 that he might drink in gratification. He drank to excess that he might eat again.”
Further on the same writer remarks: “Whilst marvelling73 at the quantity of wine consumed by the Romans in their entertainments, we must remember that it was the pure and unadulterated juice of the grape, that it was in general freely mixed with water, and that they imbibed74 but a very small portion of alcohol, which is the destructive quality of all stimulants75.”
As to the Roman vintages being “in general freely mixed with water,” I have grave doubts. I have an idea that Maecenas would have made it particularly warm for that slave who might have dared to water his old Falernian; and, take them altogether, an amusement-loving, and playgoing public, for whom the legitimate76 drama took the form of certain brave men and fair women being torn and eaten by wild beasts, would hardly have been content with such drink for babes as “claret cold.” {20}
Ancient poets were not less backward than modern votaries77 of the muses78; and it is related of the poet Philoxenus that he was frequently heard to express the wish that he had a neck as long as a crane’s, that he might the longer have the pleasure of swallowing wine, and of enjoying its delicious taste. I have heard the same wish expressed, during much more recent years.
One more old song, translated from a French chanson à boire, and I take my leave of the awful habits of the ancients (I trust) for ever. It is called
THE TIPPLING PHILOSOPHERS.
Diogenes, surly and proud,
Who snarl’d at the Macedon youth,
Delighted in wine that was good,
Because in good wine there is truth;
But growing as poor as a Job,
Unable to purchase a flask79,
He chose for his mansion a tub,
And lived by the scent80 of the cask.
[Neither the air, nor the chorus, of this song is given in the old MS. But I would suggest the old air of “Wednesbury Cocking,” with a little “tol-de-rol” at the finish of each verse.]
Heraclitus ne’er could deny
To tipple81 and cherish his heart,
And when he was maudlin82 he’d cry,
Because he had empty’d his quart;
Tho’ some are so foolish to think
He wept at men’s folly83 and vice84,
’Twas only his fashion to drink
Till the liquor flow’d out of his eyes. {21}
Democritus always was glad
Of a bumper85 to cheer up his soul,
And would laugh like a man that was mad
When over a good flowing bowl.
As long as his cellar was stor’d,
The liquor he’d merrily quaff86,
And when he was drunk as a lord
At those who were sober he’d laugh.
Aristotle, the master of arts,
Had been but a dunce without wine,
And what we ascribe to his parts
Is due to the juice of the vine.
His belly87 most writers agree
Was as big as a watering trough,
He therefore leap’d into the sea,
Because he’d have liquor enough.
Old Plato, the learned divine,
He fondly to wisdom was prone88,
But had it not been for good wine,
His merits had never been known;
By wine we are generous made,
It furnishes fancy with wings,
Without it we ne’er should have had
Philosophers, poets, or kings.
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1
monks
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| n.修道士，僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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jovial
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| adj.快乐的，好交际的 | |
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intemperance
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| n.放纵 | |
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bishop
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| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
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bluff
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| v.虚张声势，用假象骗人；n.虚张声势，欺骗 | |
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monarch
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| n.帝王，君主，最高统治者 | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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slump
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| n.暴跌，意气消沉，（土地）下沉；vi.猛然掉落，坍塌，大幅度下跌 | |
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tavern
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| n.小旅馆，客栈；小酒店 | |
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bishops
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| （基督教某些教派管辖大教区的）主教( bishop的名词复数 )； （国际象棋的）象 | |
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exempt
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| adj.免除的；v.使免除；n.免税者，被免除义务者 | |
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accusations
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| n.指责( accusation的名词复数 )；指控；控告；（被告发、控告的）罪名 | |
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adages
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| n.谚语，格言( adage的名词复数 ) | |
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logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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abstemiousness
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| n.适中，有节制 | |
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albeit
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| conj.即使；纵使；虽然 | |
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joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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excellence
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| n.优秀，杰出，(pl.)优点，美德 | |
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reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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repented
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| 对（自己的所为）感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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renounce
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| v.放弃；拒绝承认，宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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parable
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| n.寓言，比喻 | |
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devoured
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| 吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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robust
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| adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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rogue
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| n.流氓；v.游手好闲 | |
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29
corrupted
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| （使）败坏( corrupt的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）腐化； 引起（计算机文件等的）错误； 破坏 | |
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chronic
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| adj.(疾病)长期未愈的，慢性的；极坏的 | |
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31
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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32
enquired
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| 打听( enquire的过去式和过去分词 )； 询问； 问问题； 查问 | |
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anecdote
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| n.轶事，趣闻，短故事 | |
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poetically
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| adv.有诗意地，用韵文 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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corroborate
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| v.支持，证实，确定 | |
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exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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quotation
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| n.引文，引语，语录；报价，牌价，行情 | |
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tyrant
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| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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glean
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| v.收集(消息、资料、情报等) | |
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42
reigned
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| vi.当政，统治（reign的过去式形式） | |
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43
habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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conviviality
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| n.欢宴，高兴，欢乐 | |
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notably
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| adv.值得注意地，显著地，尤其地，特别地 | |
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obesity
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| n.肥胖，肥大 | |
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suite
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| n.一套(家具)；套房；随从人员 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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privy
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| adj.私用的；隐密的 | |
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pitchers
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| 大水罐( pitcher的名词复数 ) | |
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champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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mawkish
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| adj.多愁善感的的；无味的 | |
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miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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usurped
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| 篡夺，霸占( usurp的过去式和过去分词 )； 盗用； 篡夺，篡权 | |
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severed
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| v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂 | |
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pastors
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| n.（基督教的）牧师( pastor的名词复数 ) | |
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brewed
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| 调制( brew的过去式和过去分词 )； 酝酿； 沏（茶）； 煮（咖啡） | |
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expended
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| v.花费( expend的过去式和过去分词 )；使用（钱等）做某事；用光；耗尽 | |
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edifices
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| n.大建筑物( edifice的名词复数 ) | |
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aisles
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license
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| n.执照，许可证，特许；v.许可，特许 | |
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gluttons
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| 贪食者( glutton的名词复数 )； 贪图者； 酷爱…的人； 狼獾 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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barbarian
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| n.野蛮人；adj.野蛮(人)的；未开化的 | |
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intoxication
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| n.wild excitement;drunkenness；poisoning | |
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repletion
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| n.充满，吃饱 | |
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marvelling
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| v.惊奇，对…感到惊奇( marvel的现在分词 ) | |
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74
imbibed
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| v.吸收( imbibe的过去式和过去分词 )；喝；吸取；吸气 | |
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75
stimulants
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| n.兴奋剂( stimulant的名词复数 )；含兴奋剂的饮料；刺激物；激励物 | |
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76
legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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77
votaries
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| n.信徒( votary的名词复数 )；追随者；（天主教）修士；修女 | |
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78
muses
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的第三人称单数 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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79
flask
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| n.瓶，火药筒，砂箱 | |
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80
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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81
tipple
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| n.常喝的酒；v.不断喝，饮烈酒 | |
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82
maudlin
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| adj.感情脆弱的，爱哭的 | |
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83
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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84
vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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85
bumper
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| n.(汽车上的)保险杠；adj.特大的，丰盛的 | |
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86
quaff
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| v.一饮而尽；痛饮 | |
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87
belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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prone
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| adj.(to)易于…的，很可能…的；俯卧的 | |
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