Mrs. Peter Champneys drove away from the scene of her wedding, feeling as if boiling water had been poured over her. No man of all the men she had ever met had looked at her with just such an expression as she had encountered in Peter Champneys's eyes, and the memory of it filled her with a rankling1 sense of injustice2. He had married her for the same reason she had married him, hadn't he? Then why should he think himself a whit3 better than she was? It seemed to her that all the unkindness, all the slights she had ever endured, had come to a head in Peter's distressed4 and astonished glance.
Nancy had no illusions as to her own personal appearance, but it occurred to her that her bridegroom left considerable to be desired in that respect, himself. With his hatchet5 face and his outstanding ears and his big nose—why, he was as homely6 as that dried old priest in the glass case in the museum!—and him looking down on people every mite7 as good as he was! That was really the crux8 of the thing: Nancy had her own pride, and Peter had managed to trample9 upon it roughshod. She felt she could never forgive him, and her sense of injury included Chadwick Champneys as well. She hadn't asked him to make his nephew marry her, had she? The suggestion had come from the Champneys, not from her. Yet it was plain to her that both these men considered her a very inferior person. She couldn't understand them.
She liked the furnished apartment she and Mr. Champneys were to occupy until their house was ready, better than she had liked the hotel, though the Japanese butler, Hoichi, overawed her. She wasn't used to Japanese butlers and she didn't know exactly how to treat this suave10, deft11, silent yellow man who was so efficient and so ubiquitous. It was different where the maids were concerned; she who had been so lately an unpaid12 drudge13 was afraid these trained, clever servants might suspect her former state of servitude and she covered her fear with a manner so insupportable that Mr. Chadwick Champneys, who looked upon arrogant14 rudeness to social inferiors as a sort of eighth deadly sin, was presently forced to remonstrate15.
"Nancy," he ventured one morning, "I have been observing your manner to the servants with—er—disapproval. A habitual16 lack of consideration is a serious deficiency. It is really a lack of breeding—and of heart. A lady"—he fixed17 his large dark eyes upon her—"is never impolite."
He touched her on the quick. She knew these Champneys didn't think she was a lady, but for this old man to come right out and say so to her face—"Say, I guess I know how to be a lady without you havin' to tell me!"
"I am more than willing to be convinced," said the South Carolinian, pointedly18.
At that, of a sudden, Nancy flared19. She lifted a pair of sullen20 and mutinous21 eyes, and her lips quivered. He saw with surprise that she was trembling.
"Say, you look here—I done what you told me to do, didn't I? I ain't no more nor no less a lady than I was before I done it, am I? What you pickin' on me for, then? What more you want?"
He sighed. Milly's niece was distinctly difficult, to say the least. How, he asked himself desperately22, was one to make a dent23 in her appalling24 ignorance? She irritated him. And as is usual with people who do not understand, he took exactly the wrong course with her.
"I want you at least to try to live up to your position," he said with cold directness, beetling25 his brows at her. "I want you to do what you're told—and to keep on doing it! Do you understand that?" He felt that he was allowing himself to be more wrought26 up than was good for him, and this added to his annoyance27.
She considered this, sullenly28. "I'm not exackly straight in my mind what I understand and what I don't understand, yet," she replied. "But I got this much straight: If I done what I done to please you, I done it to please me, too!"
This was logical enough; it had even a note of common sense and justice. But her crude method of expressing it filled him with cold fury. The Champneys temper strained at the leash29.
"Ah!" said he, a dark flush staining his face, "ah! Then get this straight, too: you'll please me only if you carry out your part of our contract. What! do you dream I would ruin my nephew's life for a self-willed, undisciplined minx? Nothing could be farther from my thoughts! Nancy, I made you Mrs. Peter Champneys: you will qualify for the position—or lose it!" He tapped his foot on the floor, and glared at her.
Nancy gave him glare for glare. "Yeah, you said it! You made me Mrs. Peter Champneys, and all I got to do is to do what I don't want to do, to hold down the job! What you askin' him to do to please me? How's he qualifyin'? Is he so much I'm nothin'? Because that's what he thinks! Oh, you needn't talk! I guess I got eyes, at least!"
"I suggest that you use them to your own advantage, then," said he, disgustedly. "Let us have done with such squabbling! You agreed to obey. Very well, then, you will do so, or I shall take steps to put you outside of my calculations. In other words, I will wash my hands of you. Is that perfectly30 clear to you?" How else, he asked himself, was he to make her understand?
She saw that he was in a towering rage, and she reflected that if she had made Baxter that mad he'd have banged her with his fists. For a long minute the two stared at each other. She was about to make a defiant31 reply and let come what might, when a sort of spasm32 distorted his face. His mouth opened gaspingly, his eyes rolled back in his head like a dying man's. He seemed to crumple33 up, and she caught him as he fell. Her terrified shriek34 brought Hoichi, who took instant charge of the situation. He made the unconscious man comfortable on a divan35, applied36 such restoratives as were at hand, and directed a frightened maid to telephone for physicians.
Nancy fled to her own room, and sat on the edge of her bed, frightened and subdued37. That quarrel and its serious effect made a turning-point in her life, though she attached no blame to herself for the man's illness. She had no love for him, but her heart was not callous38 to suffering, and his distorted and agonized39 face had terrified and shocked her.
The suddenness of the seizure40 made his words more impressive. Suppose he died: what of her? She was not sure that any definite provision had as yet been made for her. What, then, should she do?
Suppose he recovered: what then? She had cause for serious thought. All this luxury and ease, this pleasant life of plenty, in which she reveled with the deep delight of one quite unused to it, hung upon a contingency41—the contingency of absolute obedience43. She was not naturally supine, and her spirit rose against an unconditional44 self-surrender to a hot-tempered, imperious old man, who would mold her to his will, make her over to his own notions, quite as high-handedly as if she'd been a lump of putty and not a human being. Nancy tasted the bitterness of having no voice in the making of her own destiny.
Well, but suppose she defied him? He was quite capable of washing his hands of her, just as he had threatened. And then? Before that possibility Nancy recoiled45. No. She couldn't, she wouldn't go back to that old life of squalid slavery—eating bad food, wearing wretched clothes, suffering all the sodden46 and sordid47 misery48 of the ignorant, abjectly49 poor, a suffering twice as poignant50 now that she knew better things. She knew poverty too well to have any illusions about it. The Baxter kitchen rose before her. Why! while she was sitting here now, in this luxurious51 room, back there they'd be getting ready for the noonday dinner. The close kitchen would be reeking52 with the odor of boiling potatoes and cabbage, from which a greasy53 steam would be arising, so that one saw things as through a hot mist. One of the children would be screaming, somewhere about the house, and Mrs. Baxter, in an unsavory wrapper, her face streaming with perspiration54, her hair in sticky strands55 on her hot forehead, would be shrilly56 threatening personal chastisement57: "You shut up, out there! Just you wait till I get this batch58 o' biscuits off my hands an' I bet I fix you! didn't I say shut up?" The hateful voice seemed so close to Nancy's ear that the girl shrank back, shivering with distaste.
She fingered the soft, fine stuff of the frock she was wearing. She stared about the room,—her room, which she didn't have to share with one of the Baxter children, who squirmed and kicked all night in summer, and pulled the bed-coverings off her in winter. She went over to her dressing-table and fingered its pretty accessories, sniffing59 with childish pleasure the delicately scented60 powder and cologne. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, and scowled61. Then she began to walk restlessly up and down the room. She had to think this thing out.
Why should she go, and leave the road clear for Peter Champneys? It occurred to her that, seen from his point of view, her elimination62 from the scene might be regarded somewhat in the light of providential interference in his behalf. She flushed. It wasn't fair! The thought of Peter Champneys was gall63 and wormwood to her.
Nancy wasn't a fool. Her honesty had a blunt directness, a sort of cave-woman frankness. In her, truthfulness64 was not so much a virtue65 as an energy. The hardness of her unloved life had bred a like hardness in her sense of values; she was distrustful and suspicious because she had never had occasion to be anything else. In that suspicion and distrustfulness had lain her safety. She had no sense of spiritual values as yet. Religion had meant going to church on Sundays when you had clean clothes in which to appear. Morals had meant being good, and to Nancy being good simply meant not being bad—and you couldn't be bad, go wrong, if you never trusted any man. A girl that trusted none of 'em could keep respectable. Nancy had seen girls who trusted men, in her time. Nothing like that for her! But she knew, also, the price the woman pays whether she trusts or distrusts, and the matrimony which at times rewarded the distrustful didn't appear much more alluring67 than the potter's field which waited for the credulous68. Anyway you looked at it, what happened wasn't pleasant. And it was worse yet when you knew there was something better and different. You had to pay a price to get that something better and different, of course. The fact that one pays for everything one gets was coming home to Nancy with increasing force; the problem, then, was to get your money's worth.
She took her head in her hands, and tried to concentrate all her faculties69. She wasn't a shirker, and she realized that she must decide upon her course of conduct now and stick to it. If she didn't look out for herself, who would? And presently she had reached the conclusion that when Mr. Peter Champneys reappeared upon the scene, he must find Mrs. Peter Champneys occupying the foreground, and occupying it creditably, too. She'd do it! When Mr. Chadwick Champneys recovered, she'd come to terms with him. She'd keep faith.
She spent three or four anxious days, while specialists came and went, and white-capped, starched70, authoritative71 personages relieved each other in the sick-room, their answers to all queries72 being that the patient was doing quite as well as could be expected. At the end of the fifth day they admitted that the patient was recovering,—was, in fact, out of danger, though he wouldn't leave his room for another week or ten days; and he wasn't to be worried or disturbed about anything.
Satisfied, then, that he was on the highroad to recovery, and having made up her mind as to her own course of procedure, Nancy rather enjoyed these few days of comparative freedom. She supplied herself with a huge box of bonbons73, "Junie's Love Test" and "The Widowed Bride,"—books begun long ago, but wrested74 from her untimely by the ruthless Mrs. Baxter, on the score of takin' her time off: her rightful work for them that'd took her in, and fillin' her red head with the foolishest sort o' notions. She had had so much to do that to have nothing to do but lie around in a red silk kimona and nibble75 chocolates and read love stories, seemed to her the supreme76 height of felicity.
She reveled in these novels. They represented that something different toward which her untutored and stinted77 heart groped blindly. Otherwise her mind, by no means a poor one, lay fallow and untilled. The beauty and wonder of the world, the pity and terror of fate, the divine agony of love which sacrifices and endures, did not as yet exist for her. She merely sensed that there was something different, somewhere—maybe on the road ahead. And so she wept over the woes78 of star-crost lovers, and sentimentalized over husky heroes utterly79 unlike any male beings known to nature, and believed she didn't believe that disinterested80 and unselfish love existed in the world. As she hadn't the faintest gleam of self-knowledge, in all this she was perfectly sincere.
She did not see Mr. Champneys for two weeks or so. In his nervous condition he evinced a singular reluctance81 to have her come near him, although others saw him daily. For instance, Mr. Jason Vandervelde appeared at half after ten o'clock every morning during his client's convalescence82, was immediately admitted to Mr. Champney's room, and left it upon the stroke of eleven.
Nancy watched this man curiously84. When he met her in the hall, he spoke85 to her in a nice, full-toned, modulated86 voice, exceedingly pleasing to the ear. His eyes were small but of a deep and bright blue, and although he was heavily built he wore his clothes so well that he gave the effect of strength rather than of clumsiness. He was clean-shaven and ruddy, and his large, well-shaped mouth was deeply curled at the corners. His hands were not fat and white, as one might expect, but tanned and muscular, and slightly hairy. His glasses gave him a certain precision, and his curled lips suggested irony87. Nancy liked to look at him. He discomfited88 her understanding of men, for, she couldn't tell why, she both liked and trusted him. There was nothing romantic about him,—a well-fed, well-groomed lawyer-man in his late thirties, with a handsome wife in a handsome house,—yet he had the faculty89 of making her wonder about him, and wonder with kindness at that. She wished she knew just how much he knew about her, her early upbringing, her sad lack of education. What had Mr. Champneys told him? Or had he really told him anything?
When her uncle finally overcame his reluctance and sent for her, she entered his room quietly and stood looking at him with an honest concern that was in her favor. She was always honest, he reflected. There was nothing of the hypocrite or the coward in those wary90 gray-green eyes that always met one's glance without flinching91.
The change in his appearance shocked her. His eyes were hollow, his tall form looked meager92 and shrunken. He was growing to be an old man. She said awkwardly:
"I'm real sorry you been so sick." And she made no attempt to apologize for her share in the quarrel that had led to his seizure. She ignored it altogether, and for this he was grateful.
"Thank you. I am getting along nicely," he said civilly. And with a slightly impatient gesture he dismissed all further mention of illness. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, the better to collect his thoughts. He wished to make his wishes perfectly clear to her. But she surprised him by saying quietly:
"I been thinking things over while you was sick, and I come to the conclusion you was right. I got to have more education. There's things I just got to know—how to talk nice, and what to wear, and what fork you'd ought to eat with. Forks and things drive me real wild."
"I had thought, at first, of sending you to some particularly fine boarding-school—" he began, but Nancy interrupted him.
"If I was six instead o' sixteen, you might do it. As 't is, I wouldn't learn nothin' except to hate the girls that'd be turnin' up their noses at me. No. I don't want to go to boardin'-school. I've saw music-teachers that come to folks' houses to give lessons, and I been thinkin', why can't you get me a school-teacher that'll teach me right at home!"
"As I was saying when interrupted,"—he looked at her reprovingly—"I had at first thought of sending you to some finishing school. I gave up that idea almost at once. I agree with you that it is best you should be taught at home. In fact, I have already engaged the lady who will be your companion as well as your teacher."
"I don't know as I'm crazy about a lady companion as a steady job," said Nancy, doubtfully. She feared to lose her new liberty, to forego the amazing delight of living by herself, so to speak. "But now you've done it, I sure hope you've picked out somebody young. If I got to have a lady companion, I want she should be young."
"Mr. Vandervelde attended to the matter for me," said Mr. Champneys, in a tone of finality. "He is sure that the lady in question is exactly the person I wish. Mrs. MacGregor is an Englishwoman, the widow of a naval93 officer. She is in reduced circumstances, but of irreproachable94 connections. She has the accomplishments95 of a lady of her class, and her companionship should be an inestimable blessing96 to you. You will be governed by her authority. She will be here to-morrow."
"A ole widder woman! Good Lord! I—" here she stopped, and gulped97. An expression of resignation came over her countenance98. "Oh, all right. You've done it an' I'll make the best of it," she finished, not too graciously.
"It is not proper to refer to a lady as 'a ole widder woman'."
"Well, but ain't she?" And she asked: "What else you know about her?"
"Mr. Vandervelde attended to the matter," he repeated. "He is thoroughly99 satisfied, and that is enough for me—and for you. I sent for you to inform you that she is to be here to-morrow. See that you receive her pleasantly. Your hours of study and recreation will be arranged by her. She will also overlook your wardrobe. And, I do not wish to hear any complaints."
"I can't even pick out my own clothes?"
"You lack even the rudiments100 of good taste."
"What's wrong with my clothes?" she demanded.
"Everything," said he, succinctly101, and with visible irritation102. He remembered the wedding-gown, and his face twitched103. She watched him intently.
"Oh, all right. I said I'd obey, an' I will. I ain't forgettin'," said she, wearily.
"Very well. I am glad you understand." He closed his eyes, and understanding that the interview was at an end, Nancy withdrew.
Mrs. MacGregor arrived on the morrow. The attorney had been given explicit104 orders and instructions by his exacting105 client, who had his own notions of what a teacher for his niece should and shouldn't be. Vandervelde congratulated himself on having been able to meet them so completely in the person of the estimable Mrs. MacGregor.
Mr. Champneys demanded a lady middle-aged107 but not too middle-aged, not overly handsome, but not overly otherwise; an excellent disciplinarian, of a good family, and with impeccable references.
For the rest, Mrs. MacGregor was a tall, spare, high-nosed lady, with a thin-lipped mouth full of large, sound teeth of a yellowish tinge42, and high cheek-bones with a permanent splash of red on them. Her eyes were frosty, and her light hair was frizzled in front, and worn high on her narrow head. She dressed in plain black silk of good quality, wore her watch at her waist, and on her wrist a large, old-fashioned bracelet108 in which was set a glass-covered, lozenge-shaped receptable holding what looked like a wisp of bristles109, but which was a bit of the late Captain MacGregor's hair.
Mr. Champneys had wanted a lady who was a church member. He had a vague idea that if a lady happened to be a church member you were somehow or other protected against her. Mrs. MacGregor was orthodox enough to satisfy the most rigid110 religionist. Mr. Champneys gathered that she believed in God the father, God the son, and God the Holy Ghost, three in One, and that One a dependable gentleman beautifully British, who dutifully protected the king, fraternally respected the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Prime Minister, and was heartily111 in favor of the British Constitution. Naturally, being a devout112 woman, she agreed with Deity113.
An American family domiciled for a while in England had secured her services as companion to an elderly aunt of theirs, fetching her along with them, on their return to America. The aunt had been a family torment114 until the advent115 of Mrs. MacGregor, but in the hands of that disciplinarian she had become a mild-mannered old body. On her demise116 the grateful family settled a small annuity117 upon her whom they couldn't help recognizing as their benefactor118. Finding Americans so grateful, Mrs. MacGregor decided119 to remain among them and with her recommendations secure another position of trust in some wealthy family. This, then, was the teacher selected by Mr. Jason Vandervelde, who thought her just what Mr. Champneys wanted and his ward66 probably needed.
Mrs. MacGregor never really liked anybody, but she could respect certain persons highly; she respected Mr. Chadwick Champneys at sight. His name, his appearance, the fact that Jason Vandervelde was acting106 for him, convinced her that he was "quite the right sort"—for an American. She was as gracious to him as nature permitted her to be to anybody. And the salary was very good indeed.
It was only when Nancy put in her appearance that Mrs. MacGregor's satisfaction withered120 around the edges. The red on her high cheeks deepened, and she fixed upon her new pupil a cold, appraising121 stare. She made no slightest attempt to ingratiate herself; that wasn't her way; what she demanded, she often said, was Respect. The impossible young person who was staring back at her with hostile curiosity wasn't overcome with Respect. The two did not love each other.
Strict disciplinarian though she might be where others were concerned, Mrs. MacGregor treated herself with lenient122 consideration. She was selfish with a fine, Christian123 zeal124 that moved Nancy to admiring wonder. Nancy's own selfishness had been superimposed upon her by untoward125 circumstances. This woman's selfishness was a part of her nature, carefully cultivated. She believed her body to be the temple of the Holy Ghost, and she made herself exceedingly comfortable in the building, quite as if the Holy Ghost were an obliging absentee landlord. Nancy observed, too, that although the servants did not like her, they obeyed her without question. She got without noise what she wanted.
But she really could teach. Almost from the first lesson, Nancy began to learn, the pure hatred126 she felt for her instructress adding rather than detracting from her progress. Had the woman been broader, of a finer nature, she might have failed here; but being what she was, immovable, hard as nails, narrow and prejudiced, sticking relentlessly127 to the obviously essential, she goaded128 and stung the girl into habits of study.
Her reaction to Mrs. MacGregor really pushed her forward. She knew that the woman could never overcome a secret sense of amaze that such a person as herself should be a member of Chadwick Champneys's family—the man was a gentleman, you see. And she called Nancy "Anne." Her lifted eyebrows129 at Nancy's English, her shocked, patient, parrot-like, "Not 'seen him when he done it,' please. You saw him when he did it!—No, 'I come in the house' isn't correct. Try to remember that well-bred persons use the past tense of the verb; thus: 'I came into the house.'—What do I hear, Anne? You 'taken' it? No! You TOOK it!" And she would look at Nancy like a scandalized martyr130, ready to die for the noble cause of English grammar! Rather than endure that look, rather than face those uplifted eyebrows, Nancy, gritting131 her teeth, set herself seriously to the task of making over her method of speech.
It was Mrs. MacGregor who, discovering the girl's unstinted allowance of candy, cut off the supply. She didn't care much for candies herself, but she did like fruit, and fruit was substituted for the forbidden sweets. She had the healthy, wholesome132 English habit of walking, and unless the weather was impossible she forced her unwilling133 charge to take long tramps with her, generally immediately after breakfast. They would set out, Nancy dressed in a plain blue serge, her pretty, high-heeled pumps discarded for flat-heeled walking-shoes, Mrs. MacGregor flat-footed also, tall, bony, in a singular bonnet134, but nevertheless retaining an inherent stateliness which won respect. Sometimes they tramped up Riverside Drive, their objective being Grant's tomb. Mrs. MacGregor respected Grant; and the stands of dusty flags brought certain old British shrines135 to her mind. On stated mornings they visited the Library, while Mrs. MacGregor selected the books Nancy was to read, books that Nancy looked at askance. They had their mornings for the museums, too. Mrs. MacGregor knew nothing of art, except that, as she said to Nancy, well-bred persons simply had to know something about it. After their walk came lessons, grueling, dry-as-dust, nose-to-the-grindstone lessons, during which Nancy's speech was vivisected. At two o'clock they lunched, and Nancy had further critical instructions. The dishes she had once been allowed to order were changed, greatly to her annoyance; Mrs. MacGregor liked such honest stuff as mutton chops and potatoes, just as she insisted upon oatmeal for breakfast. Porridge, she called it. In the afternoon they motored; Mrs. MacGregor, who detested136 speed, became the bane of the hard-faced chauffeur's life.
They dined at seven, and for an hour thereafter Mrs. MacGregor either read aloud from some book intended to edify137 the young person, or forced Nancy to do so. She was possibly the only person alive who delighted in Hannah More. She said, modestly, that at an early age she had been taught to revere138 this paragon139, and whatever happy knowledge of the virtues140 proper to the female state she possessed141, she owed in a large measure to that model writer. Nancy conceived for Hannah More a hatred equaled in intensity142 only by that cherished for Mrs. MacGregor herself.
Mrs. MacGregor's notions of dress and her own were asunder143, even as the poles. But here again that rigid duenna did her invaluable144 service, for if she didn't look handsome in the clothes selected for her, she didn't, as that lady said frankly145, look vulgar in them. No longer would you be liable to mistake her for somebody's second-rate housemaid on her day out. The simple diet and the inexorable regularity146 of her hours also told in her favor, although she herself wasn't as yet aware of the change taking place. Already you could tell that hers was a supple147 and shapely young body, with promise of a magnificent maturity148; you glimpsed behind the fading freckles149 a skin like a water-lily for creamy whiteness; and that red hair of hers, worn without frizzings, began to take on a glossy150, coppery luster151.
That spring they moved into the new house. It was so different from the average newly-rich American home that it moved even Mrs. MacGregor to praise. Nancy thought it rather bare. It hadn't color enough, and there were but few pictures. Yet the old rosewood and mahogany furniture pleased her. She remembered that golden-oak, red-plush parlor152 at Baxter's with a sort of wonder. Why! she had thought that parlor handsome! And now she was beginning to understand how hideous153 it had been.
She saw little of Mr. Champneys, who seemed to be plunged154 to the eyes in business. Occasionally he appeared, looked at her searchingly, said a few words to her and Mrs. MacGregor, and vanished for another indefinite period. Mr. Jason Vandervelde was almost a daily visitor when Mr. Champneys happened to be in the city. At times Mr. Champneys went away, presumably to look after business interests, and Nancy thought that at such times the lawyer accompanied him. She had no friends of her own age, and Mrs. MacGregor wasn't, to say the least, companionable. And the books she was compelled to read bored her to distraction155. She took it for granted they must be frightfully good, they were so frightfully dull! The deadliest, dullest of all seemed to be reserved for Sunday. She didn't mind going to church; in church you could watch other people, even though Mrs. MacGregor sat rigidly156 erect157 by your side, and expected you to be able to find your place in a Book of Common Prayer entirely158 unfamiliar159 to you. While she sat rapt during what you thought an unnecessarily long sermon, you could look about you slyly, and take note of the people within your immediate83 radius160.
Nancy liked to observe the younger people. Sometimes a bitter envy would almost choke her when she regarded some girl who was both pretty and prettily161 dressed, and, apparently162, care-free and happy. She watched the younger men stealthily. Some of them pleased her; she would have liked to be admired by at least one of them, and she felt jealous of the fortunate young women singled out for their attentions. Think of being pretty, and having beautiful clothes, and swell163 fellows like that in love with you! That any one of these fine young men should cast a glance in her own direction never entered her mind. No. Loveliness and the affection and gaiety of youth were for others; for her—Peter Champneys. At that she fetched a deep sigh. She always went home from church silent and subdued. Mrs. MacGregor thought this a proper attitude of mind for the Sabbath.
The girl was vaguely164 disturbed and uneasy without knowing why. The newness and glamour165 of the possession of creature comforts, the absence of want, was wearing thin in spots. She was conscious of a lack. She was beginning to think and to question, and as there was no one in whom she might confide166, she turned inward. Naturally, she couldn't answer her own questions, and all her thoughts were as yet chaotic167 and confused. She wanted—well, what did she want, anyhow? She repeated to herself, "I want something different!" That something different should not include a dreary168 round of Mrs. MacGregor, a cold inspection169 by Mr. Chadwick Champneys; nor the thought of Peter Champneys. It would include laughter and—and people who were neither teachers nor guardians170, but who were gay, and young, and kind. She began to be conscious of her own isolation171. She had always been isolated172. Once poverty had done it; and now money was doing it. Those girls she saw at church—she'd bet they went to parties, had loads of friends, had a good time, were loved; plenty of people wanted their love. For herself, as far back as she could look, she had never had a friend. Who cared for her love? Sometimes she watched the new maid, a distractingly pretty little Irish girl, black-haired, blue-eyed, rosy-faced. The girl tried to be demure173, to restrain the laughter that was always near the surface; but her eyes danced, her cheek dimpled, she had what one might call a smiling voice. And the handsome young policeman on the corner was acutely aware of her. Nancy remembered one afternoon when she and Mrs. MacGregor happened to be coming in at the same time with Molly. It was Molly's afternoon off and she was dressed trimly, and with taste. Under her little close-fitting hat her hair was like black satin, her face like a rose. The young policeman managed to pass the house at that moment, and lifted his cap to her; Nancy saw the look in the young man's eyes. She followed Mrs. MacGregor into the house, rebelliously174. Nobody had ever looked at her like that. Nobody was ever going to look at her like that. She remembered Peter Champneys's eyes when they had first met hers. A dull flush stained her face, and bitterness overwhelmed her.
Mr. Champneys was busy; Mrs. MacGregor was satisfied—she had a position of authority; her creature comforts were exquisitely175 attended to; her salary was ample. The man saw his plans being carried forward, if not brilliantly at least creditably; the woman saw that her tasks were fulfilled. It never occurred to either that the girl might or should ask for more than she received, or that she might find her days dull. But Nancy was discovering that the body is more than raiment, and that one does not live by bread alone.
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rankling
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| v.（使）痛苦不已，（使）怨恨不已( rankle的现在分词 ) | |
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injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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whit
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| n.一点，丝毫 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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hatchet
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| n.短柄小斧；v.扼杀 | |
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homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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mite
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| n.极小的东西；小铜币 | |
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8
crux
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| adj.十字形；难事，关键，最重要点 | |
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9
trample
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| vt.踩，践踏；无视，伤害，侵犯 | |
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10
suave
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| adj.温和的；柔和的；文雅的 | |
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11
deft
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| adj.灵巧的，熟练的（a deft hand 能手） | |
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12
unpaid
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| adj.未付款的，无报酬的 | |
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13
drudge
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| n.劳碌的人；v.做苦工，操劳 | |
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14
arrogant
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| adj.傲慢的，自大的 | |
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15
remonstrate
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| v.抗议，规劝 | |
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16
habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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17
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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18
pointedly
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| adv.尖地，明显地 | |
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19
Flared
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| adj. 端部张开的, 爆发的, 加宽的, 漏斗式的 动词flare的过去式和过去分词 | |
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20
sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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21
mutinous
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| adj.叛变的，反抗的；adv.反抗地，叛变地；n.反抗，叛变 | |
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22
desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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23
dent
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| n.凹痕，凹坑；初步进展 | |
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24
appalling
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| adj.骇人听闻的，令人震惊的，可怕的 | |
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25
beetling
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| adj.突出的，悬垂的v.快速移动( beetle的现在分词 ) | |
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26
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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27
annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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28
sullenly
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| 不高兴地，绷着脸，忧郁地 | |
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29
leash
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| n.牵狗的皮带，束缚；v.用皮带系住 | |
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30
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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31
defiant
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| adj.无礼的，挑战的 | |
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32
spasm
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| n.痉挛，抽搐；一阵发作 | |
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33
crumple
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| v.把...弄皱，满是皱痕，压碎，崩溃 | |
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34
shriek
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| v./n.尖叫，叫喊 | |
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35
divan
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| n.长沙发；（波斯或其他东方诗人的）诗集 | |
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36
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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37
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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38
callous
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| adj.无情的，冷淡的，硬结的，起老茧的 | |
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39
agonized
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| v.使（极度）痛苦，折磨( agonize的过去式和过去分词 )；苦斗；苦苦思索；感到极度痛苦 | |
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40
seizure
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| n.没收；占有；抵押 | |
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41
contingency
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| n.意外事件，可能性 | |
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42
tinge
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| vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息 | |
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43
obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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44
unconditional
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| adj.无条件的，无限制的，绝对的 | |
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45
recoiled
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| v.畏缩( recoil的过去式和过去分词 )；退缩；报应；返回 | |
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46
sodden
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| adj.浑身湿透的；v.使浸透；使呆头呆脑 | |
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47
sordid
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| adj.肮脏的，不干净的，卑鄙的，暗淡的 | |
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48
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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49
abjectly
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| 凄惨地； 绝望地； 糟透地； 悲惨地 | |
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50
poignant
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| adj.令人痛苦的，辛酸的，惨痛的 | |
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51
luxurious
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| adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的 | |
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52
reeking
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| v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的现在分词 )；散发臭气；发出难闻的气味 (of sth)；明显带有（令人不快或生疑的跡象） | |
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53
greasy
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| adj. 多脂的，油脂的 | |
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54
perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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55
strands
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| n.（线、绳、金属线、毛发等的）股( strand的名词复数 )；缕；海洋、湖或河的)岸；（观点、计划、故事等的）部份v.使滞留，使搁浅( strand的第三人称单数 ) | |
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56
shrilly
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| 尖声的； 光亮的，耀眼的 | |
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57
chastisement
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| n.惩罚 | |
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58
batch
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| n.一批(组，群)；一批生产量 | |
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59
sniffing
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| n.探查法v.以鼻吸气，嗅，闻( sniff的现在分词 )；抽鼻子（尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气）；抱怨，不以为然地说 | |
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60
scented
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| adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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61
scowled
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| 怒视，生气地皱眉( scowl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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62
elimination
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| n.排除，消除，消灭 | |
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63
gall
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| v.使烦恼，使焦躁，难堪；n.磨难 | |
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64
truthfulness
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| n. 符合实际 | |
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65
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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66
ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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67
alluring
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| adj.吸引人的，迷人的 | |
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68
credulous
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| adj.轻信的，易信的 | |
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69
faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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70
starched
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| adj.浆硬的，硬挺的，拘泥刻板的v.把（衣服、床单等）浆一浆( starch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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71
authoritative
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| adj.有权威的，可相信的；命令式的；官方的 | |
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72
queries
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| n.问题( query的名词复数 )；疑问；询问；问号v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的第三人称单数 )；询问 | |
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73
bonbons
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| n.小糖果( bonbon的名词复数 ) | |
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74
wrested
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| （用力）拧( wrest的过去式和过去分词 )； 费力取得； （从…）攫取； （ 从… ） 强行取去… | |
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75
nibble
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| n.轻咬，啃；v.一点点地咬，慢慢啃，吹毛求疵 | |
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76
supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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77
stinted
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| v.限制，节省（stint的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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78
woes
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| 困境( woe的名词复数 )； 悲伤； 我好苦哇； 某人就要倒霉 | |
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79
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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80
disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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81
reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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82
convalescence
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| n.病后康复期 | |
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83
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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84
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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85
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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86
modulated
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| 已调整[制]的，被调的 | |
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87
irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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88
discomfited
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| v.使为难( discomfit的过去式和过去分词)；使狼狈；使挫折；挫败 | |
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89
faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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90
wary
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| adj.谨慎的，机警的，小心的 | |
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91
flinching
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| v.（因危险和痛苦）退缩，畏惧( flinch的现在分词 ) | |
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92
meager
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| adj.缺乏的，不足的，瘦的 | |
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93
naval
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| adj.海军的，军舰的，船的 | |
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94
irreproachable
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| adj.不可指责的，无过失的 | |
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95
accomplishments
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| n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就 | |
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96
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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97
gulped
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| v.狼吞虎咽地吃，吞咽( gulp的过去式和过去分词 )；大口地吸（气）；哽住 | |
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98
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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99
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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100
rudiments
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| n.基础知识，入门 | |
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101
succinctly
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| adv.简洁地；简洁地，简便地 | |
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102
irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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103
twitched
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| vt.& vi.（使）抽动，（使）颤动（twitch的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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104
explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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105
exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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106
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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107
middle-aged
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| adj.中年的 | |
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108
bracelet
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| n.手镯，臂镯 | |
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109
bristles
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| 短而硬的毛发，刷子毛( bristle的名词复数 ) | |
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110
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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111
heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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112
devout
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| adj.虔诚的，虔敬的，衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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113
deity
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| n.神，神性；被奉若神明的人(或物) | |
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114
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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115
advent
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| n.(重要事件等的)到来，来临 | |
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116
demise
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| n.死亡；v.让渡，遗赠，转让 | |
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117
annuity
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| n.年金；养老金 | |
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118
benefactor
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| n. 恩人，行善的人，捐助人 | |
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119
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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120
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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121
appraising
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| v.估价( appraise的现在分词 )；估计；估量；评价 | |
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122
lenient
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| adj.宽大的，仁慈的 | |
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123
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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124
zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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125
untoward
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| adj.不利的，不幸的，困难重重的 | |
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126
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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127
relentlessly
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| adv.不屈不挠地；残酷地；不间断 | |
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128
goaded
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| v.刺激( goad的过去式和过去分词 )；激励；（用尖棒）驱赶；驱使（或怂恿、刺激）某人 | |
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129
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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130
martyr
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| n.烈士，殉难者；vt.杀害，折磨，牺牲 | |
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131
gritting
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| v.以沙砾覆盖（某物），撒沙砾于( grit的现在分词 )；咬紧牙关 | |
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wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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133
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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135
shrines
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| 圣地，圣坛，神圣场所( shrine的名词复数 ) | |
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detested
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| v.憎恶，嫌恶，痛恨( detest的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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137
edify
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| v.陶冶；教化；启发 | |
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138
revere
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| vt.尊崇，崇敬，敬畏 | |
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139
paragon
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| n.模范，典型 | |
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140
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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141
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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142
intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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143
asunder
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| adj.分离的，化为碎片 | |
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144
invaluable
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| adj.无价的，非常宝贵的，极为贵重的 | |
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145
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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146
regularity
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| n.规律性，规则性；匀称，整齐 | |
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147
supple
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| adj.柔软的，易弯的，逢迎的，顺从的，灵活的；vt.使柔软，使柔顺，使顺从；vi.变柔软，变柔顺 | |
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148
maturity
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| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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149
freckles
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| n.雀斑，斑点( freckle的名词复数 ) | |
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150
glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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151
luster
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| n.光辉；光泽，光亮；荣誉 | |
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152
parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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153
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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154
plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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155
distraction
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| n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐 | |
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156
rigidly
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| adv.刻板地，僵化地 | |
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157
erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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158
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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159
unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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radius
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| n.半径，半径范围；有效航程，范围，界限 | |
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161
prettily
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| adv.优美地；可爱地 | |
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162
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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163
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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164
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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165
glamour
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| n.魔力，魅力；vt.迷住 | |
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166
confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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167
chaotic
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| adj.混沌的，一片混乱的，一团糟的 | |
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168
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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169
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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170
guardians
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| 监护人( guardian的名词复数 )； 保护者，维护者 | |
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171
isolation
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| n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离 | |
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172
isolated
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| adj.与世隔绝的 | |
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173
demure
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| adj.严肃的；端庄的 | |
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174
rebelliously
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| adv.造反地，难以控制地 | |
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175
exquisitely
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| adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地 | |
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