Now it is usual, and it is altogether good, to encourage people to entertain lofty ambitions, high ideals, and great expectations. It is a most necessary injunction, and I have not a word to say against it. It stirs the blood like a trumpet-blast. It rouses us like a challenge. But, however excellent the medicine may be, it cannot be expected to suit every ailment14. No one drug is a panacea15 for all our human ills. And even the stimulating16 tonic17 to which I have referred does not at all meet the need of the man for whom I am now prescribing. John Sheergood is a friend of mine, and a really capital fellow. But I should not call him a happy man. His trouble is that his ambitions are too lofty, his expectations too great, and his ideals, in a sense, too high. He is crying for the moon, and breaking his heart because he can’t get it. I am profoundly sorry for this morbid18 friend of mine, and should dearly like to comfort him. His ideal is perfection, nothing less; and whenever he falls short of it he is in the depths of despair. If, as a student, he entered for a competition, he felt that he was in disgrace unless he secured the very first place. If he sat for 125an examination, he counted every mark short of the coveted19 hundred per cent. as an indelible stain upon his character. He is in abject20 misery21 unless he can strike twelve at every hour of the day. I both admire him and pity him at the same time. His parents once told me that when he was a very small boy he contracted measles22. The illness went hardly with him, and left him frail23 and debilitated24. The doctor ordered a prolonged holiday by the seaside, with plenty of good food, plenty of fresh air, and, above all, plenty of bathing. He was only a little fellow, and when he approached the bathing-sheds for the first time his father accompanied him.
‘I don’t want to go in, dad,’ he cried appealingly; ‘it’s cold, and I’m cold, and I don’t like it!’
‘It will make you grow up into a big man, sonny!’ his father replied persuasively25.
Now this touched Jack26 on a very tender spot, for, although his father was tall, and he himself cherished an inordinate27 admiration28 for tall men, he was himself almost ridiculously small. He had several times contrasted himself with other small boys of the same age, and had felt shockingly humiliated29.
‘Will it really, dad; honour bright?’ he asked anxiously, carefully scrutinizing30 his father’s face.
‘It will indeed, sonny; that is why the doctor ordered it.’
126Poor little Jack submitted with a wry31 face to the process of disrobing, and, with a shiver, bravely approached the water. Summoning all his reserves of courage, he waded32 in until the water was up to his knees, to his waist, and at last to his neck. The excruciating part of the ordeal33 was by this time over; and, for the sake of the benefit so confidently promised him, he tolerated the caress34 of the waves for the next five minutes. Then he rushed out of the water. As soon as he was beyond the reach of the foam35 he stopped abruptly36, surveyed himself carefully from top to toe, and straightway burst into tears. His mother, who was sitting knitting on the beach, at once ran to his assistance.
‘Why, whatever’s the matter, Jack? What are you crying for?’
‘Oh, mum, just look how wee I am! And dad said that if I went into the water it would make a big man of me!’
He has often since joined in the laugh, whenever the story of his childish adventure has been related in his hearing. But it is worth recording37 as being so eminently38 characteristic of him. He has never outgrown39 that boyish peculiarity40. He is always setting his heart on instantaneous maturity41. He seems to think that the world should have been built on a sort of Jack-and-the-beanstalk principle. He is continually sowing seeds overnight, and 127feeling depressed42 if he cannot gather the fruit as soon as he wakes in the morning. Many of us have watched the Indian conjurer sow the seed of a mango-tree; throw a cloth over the pot; mutter mysterious charms and incantations; and then hit the cloth. And, behold43, a full-grown mango-tree! He replaces the cloth, mutters further incantations, again removes the covering, and, lo, the mango-tree is in full flower! And when a third time he uncovers the plant, the mango-tree stands forth44, every bough45 freighted with a heavy load of fruit! I have no idea as to how the trick is done. I only know that poor John Sheergood seems to be everlastingly46 lamenting47 the misfortune that ordained48 him to any existence other than that of an Indian conjurer. He is grievously disappointed, not because he was born with no silver spoon in his mouth, but because he was born with no magic wand in his hand. His mango-trees come to fruition very, very slowly. John believes in quick returns and lightning changes; and he is irritated and annoyed by the tardiness49 of that old-fashioned process called growth. It is good for a man to have lofty ideals; but I am sure that John Sheergood would be a happier man, and make us all more happy, if he would only break himself of his inveterate50 habit of crying for the moon.
In justice to John I am bound to say that, as 128on the sands years ago, his principal disappointment is with himself. I have done my best to persuade him that a man should be infinitely51 patient with himself. Nothing is to be gained by getting out of temper with yourself. You may scold yourself and scourge52 yourself unmercifully; but I doubt if it does much good. A man must win his self-respect; and you can only learn to respect yourself by being very gentle and very considerate and very patient with yourself. A man’s self-culture is his first and principal charge; and he will never succeed unless he both loves himself and treats himself lovingly. A man should be as gentle with himself as a gardener is with his orchids53; as a nurse is with her patient; as a mother is with her troublesome child. A gardener who lost all patience with his delicate plants; a nurse who treated her poor patient peevishly54; or a mother who met ill-temper with ill-temper could only expect to fail. I have urged John Sheergood to treat himself with a softer hand, and to greet himself with a smile. I lent him Henry Drummond’s lovely essay on The Lilies, taking the precaution, before doing so, to underline the following sentences: ‘Growth must be spontaneous. A boy not only grows without trying, but he cannot grow if he tries. The man who struggles in agony to grow makes the church into a workshop when God meant it to be a beautiful 129garden.’ There is a good deal in the chapter that will have a special interest for my poor self-castigated friend.
But, although his lash55 falls principally upon his own back, he is not the only sufferer. I shall never forget when, as a young fellow, he joined the church. His conversion56 was a very radiant experience, and, in the ecstasy57 of it all, he formed a brightly rose-tinted conception of what the fellowship of the church must be. The idea of being admitted to the society of numbers of people as happy as himself! They would be able to tell of experiences as glorious as his own; they would be sure to congratulate him on his inexpressible joy, and to help him in relation to the difficulties that beset58 his daily path. They would encourage him by their sympathy and stimulate59 him by their example. Their conversation would illumine for him the sacred page; their vivid testimonies60 to answered prayer would give him greater confidence in approaching the Throne of Grace; the very atmosphere that he expected to breathe would, he felt sure, inflame61 his own devotion to the highest and holiest things.
He has often since told me of his disillusionment. It happened to be a wet night when he was received into membership, and there were fewer members present than were usually there. As soon as the service was over they broke up into knots. He 130overheard one group discussing a wedding; and heard a man with a strident voice say that it was a beastly night to be out without an umbrella. But nobody took any notice of John, and he left the building. To complete his discomfiture62 he mistook the step as he passed out of the church and stumbled awkwardly into the street. ‘The whole thing was an awful come-down,’ he told me afterwards, ‘the greatest surprise I had ever known. I felt as if the bottom had dropped out of everything.’ He got over it, of course; and learned by happy experience that the people who treated him so coyly on that memorable63 night are not half as bad as they seemed. Many of them are now among his dearest and most intimate friends; whilst even with the man who growled64 at the weather he has since spent some really delightful65 times. One of the oddest things in life is the dread66 that some people feel of appearing as good as they really are. And John has found out now that, in spite of the cold douche administered to him that night, there is in the church a glow of genuine enthusiasm and a wealth of spirituality that in those days he never suspected. But it did not reveal itself all at once. The best things never do. And because the church did not put on her beautiful garments as soon as he entered, John was mortified67 and confounded. He felt just as he felt that day on the sands when he 131discovered with disgust that, under the spell of the sea, he had not immediately assumed gigantic proportions. As I say, he has got over it now, and smiles at it, just as he smiles when his adventure by the seaside is recounted.
He was a great favourite in the church, but his ingrained peculiarity betrayed itself with unfailing regularity68 in one particular direction. Oddly enough, in view of his own experience, he was a little severe with new members. I do not mean that he treated them coldly or distantly; nobody was more genial69. But he expected too much of them. He was disappointed unless the convert of yesterday proved himself the full-blown saint of to-day. To satisfy him, they had to be raw recruits one day and hardened veterans the next. It was merely another phase of his Jack-and-the-beanstalk philosophy. It was the magician and the mango-tree over again. In a way it was very fine to see how he grieved over the slightest lapse70 on the part of these new members. The smallest inconsistency in their behaviour filled him with remorse71, and he was afflicted72 with the gravest suspicions as to our wisdom in welcoming such people into fellowship. He failed, it seemed to me, to distinguish between the raw material and the finished article. The Church evidently had some very raw material in her membership when the 132Pauline Epistles were written; and it is a mercy for John that he was not born some centuries earlier.
John afterwards left us and entered the ministry73. We were exceedingly sorry to lose him. A man more generally honoured, respected, and beloved I have seldom seen. The church was distinctly poorer after he left, although we were all glad that he had given himself to so great a work. But he carried his old characteristic up the pulpit steps with him. He has often told me the story of that first sermon and the way it was received. Such confidences between one minister and another are sacred, and I shall not betray this one. But I never hear John refer to that experience without thinking of Mark Rutherford. In his Autobiography74, Mark Rutherford tells how, on settling at his first pastorate, he put all his soul into his first sermon. He was elated by the solemnity and grandeur75 of his calling, and spoke76 out of the very depths of his heart. ‘After the service was over,’ he says, ‘I went down into the vestry. Nobody came near me but the chapel-keeper, who said that it was raining, and immediately went away to put out the lights and shut up the building. I had no umbrella, and there was nothing for it but to walk home in the wet. When I got to my lodgings77 I found that my supper, consisting of bread and cheese, was on the table, but there was no fire. I was overwrought, and paced 133about for hours in hysterics. All that I had been preaching seemed the merest vanity.’ And so on. John Sheergood’s experience was not unlike it. It was the sudden descent from the glowingly romantic ideal to the brutally78 prosaic79 reality. It nearly killed John just as it nearly killed Mark Rutherford. But he is getting over it. He is learning gradually, I think, that a minister can only get the best out of his people by being very patient with them, just as the people can only get the best out of their minister by being very patient with him. The world has evidently been built that way. Jack and the beanstalk is only a fairy-story and the mango-tree is a piece of Oriental trickery; there is no room for such prodigies80 in a world like this. Like the lilies, we begin in a very modest way, and grow very slowly; we must therefore exercise infinite patience with each other. I have fancied lately that some inkling of this has at length entered into the mind even of John Sheergood, and he has seemed a very much happier man in consequence.
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wireless
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| adj.无线的；n.无线电 | |
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interception
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| n.拦截；截击；截取；截住，截断；窃听 | |
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attuned
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| v.使协调( attune的过去式和过去分词 )；调音 | |
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attune
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| v.使调和 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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din
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| n.喧闹声，嘈杂声 | |
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deafening
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| adj. 振耳欲聋的, 极喧闹的 动词deafen的现在分词形式 | |
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tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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syllables
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| n.音节( syllable的名词复数 ) | |
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penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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leakage
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| n.漏，泄漏；泄漏物；漏出量 | |
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untold
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| adj.数不清的，无数的 | |
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ailment
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| n.疾病，小病 | |
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panacea
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| n.万灵药；治百病的灵药 | |
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stimulating
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| adj.有启发性的，能激发人思考的 | |
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tonic
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| n./adj.滋补品，补药，强身的，健体的 | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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coveted
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| adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图 | |
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abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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measles
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| n.麻疹，风疹，包虫病，痧子 | |
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frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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debilitated
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| adj.疲惫不堪的，操劳过度的v.使（人或人的身体）非常虚弱( debilitate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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persuasively
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| adv.口才好地；令人信服地 | |
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jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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inordinate
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| adj.无节制的；过度的 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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humiliated
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| 感到羞愧的 | |
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scrutinizing
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| v.仔细检查，详审( scrutinize的现在分词 ) | |
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wry
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| adj.讽刺的；扭曲的 | |
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waded
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| （从水、泥等）蹚，走过，跋( wade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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ordeal
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| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
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caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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foam
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| v./n.泡沫，起泡沫 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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recording
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| n.录音，记录 | |
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eminently
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| adv.突出地；显著地；不寻常地 | |
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outgrown
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| 长[发展] 得超过（某物）的范围( outgrow的过去分词 )； 长[发展]得不能再要（某物）； 长得比…快； 生长速度超过 | |
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peculiarity
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| n.独特性，特色；特殊的东西；怪癖 | |
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maturity
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| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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bough
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| n.大树枝，主枝 | |
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everlastingly
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| 永久地，持久地 | |
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lamenting
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| adj.悲伤的，悲哀的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的现在分词 ) | |
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ordained
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| v.任命（某人）为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 )；授予（某人）圣职；（上帝、法律等）命令；判定 | |
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tardiness
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| n.缓慢；迟延；拖拉 | |
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50
inveterate
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| adj.积习已深的，根深蒂固的 | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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52
scourge
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| n.灾难，祸害；v.蹂躏 | |
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53
orchids
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| n.兰花( orchid的名词复数 ) | |
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54
peevishly
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| adv．暴躁地 | |
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55
lash
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| v.系牢；鞭打；猛烈抨击；n.鞭打；眼睫毛 | |
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conversion
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| n.转化，转换，转变 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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stimulate
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| vt.刺激，使兴奋；激励，使…振奋 | |
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testimonies
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| （法庭上证人的）证词( testimony的名词复数 )； 证明，证据 | |
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inflame
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| v.使燃烧；使极度激动；使发炎 | |
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discomfiture
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| n.崩溃；大败；挫败；困惑 | |
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memorable
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| adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的 | |
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64
growled
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| v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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mortified
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| v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等） | |
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regularity
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| n.规律性，规则性；匀称，整齐 | |
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genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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lapse
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| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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ministry
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| n.(政府的)部；牧师 | |
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autobiography
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| n.自传 | |
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grandeur
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| n.伟大，崇高，宏伟，庄严，豪华 | |
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76
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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brutally
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| adv.残忍地，野蛮地，冷酷无情地 | |
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prosaic
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| adj.单调的，无趣的 | |
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prodigies
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| n.奇才，天才（尤指神童）( prodigy的名词复数 ) | |
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