Motherhood the Glory of Womanhood.—Maternity1 Natural and Productive of Health.—Prevalence of Knowledge of Methods Used to Prevent Conception.—Mothers Should Prepare Their Daughters for Maternity.—Motherhood the Sanction for Wifehood.—Effect of Fixed2 Habits of Mother upon Offspring.—Adjustment of Clothing to Expectant Motherhood.—Importance of Proper Exercise.—The Sitz Bath.—Threatened Miscarriages3.—Effects of Environment upon the Unborn.—Why Italian Children Resemble the Madonnas.—The Child the Expression of the Mother’s Thoughts.—The Five Stages of Prenatal Culture Stated and Illustrated5.—The Mother of the Wesleys.—The Child the Heir and Expression of the Mother’s Thought and Life.
“Oh in woman how
Mighty6 is the love of offspring: ere
Unto her wandering, untaught mind, unfolds
The mystery that is half divine, half human,
Of life, of birth, the love of unborn souls
Within her, and the mother yearning7 creeps
Through her warm heart, and stirs its hidden deeps
And grows and strengthens with each riper year.”
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
“Motherhood is not a remote contingency8, but the common duty and the common glory of womanhood.”
“They should know that the less children and the more servants in the home, the less health and happiness, other things being equal. It is natural for women to bear children, and unnatural9 to evade10 this function; the everlastingly11 recurrent congestion12 of the generative organs, month after month, year in and year out, without the rest of generation, promotes a true disease of these organs, and favors all the various growths which afflict13 so large a proportion of our women.”
With the prevailing14 ignorance, which has been the heritage of our daughters for so many generations, no thought of preparation for motherhood has exercised them. On the other hand, much the larger majority of our young women come to the marriage altar, far better informed in the methods of preventing conception, or producing abortion15 after conception has really taken place, than of any proper preparation for motherhood. Who are their teachers? Many who should blush with shame that they lend their influence to this nefarious16 business; this education in invalidism17, murder and suicide. Many, who should be the teachers in truth and purity.[99] Mothers, mothers-in-law, sisters, aunts, “friends,” young matrons, who have become adepts18 in the business, and whose punishment has not yet overtaken them—all these, and many more. Christians19? Yes, professing20 Christians; but who would hardly like to have their advice in these things written along side of their confession21 of faith in the records of the church. They should remember that it is written in a larger book than that of a church, and written so large that all the world can read it by and by.
In the first steps of preparation for motherhood, the mother should be the teacher. That so few mothers are capable of teaching their daughters as they should, emphasizes the need of right teaching along these lines, and the necessity of plain talks with mothers and daughters.
From a recent paper I clipped the following: “There is a story going the rounds, that the last convention of the National Mothers’ Congress, was not entirely22 successful, owing to the fact, that only about one out of every ten delegates was even married. Since the object of the organization is the better care, discipline and rearing of the young, it has been determined23 that every delegate to the convention next month, must[100] show her right to be there. While many unmarried women are probably more capable of rearing children than many who are trying to, no exceptions will be made to the rule of making the organization exclusively for mothers and wives.”
To my mind the writer of this criticism has shown far less wisdom than those who appointed as delegates, unmarried women. What better preparation for motherhood, than listening to the wise discussions relative to the care and training of children? Hence the convention is conserving24 the wisest purpose when it admits as delegates the young and unmarried women. Had I the appointing power I would make at least half the delegates from this class.
All the way from childhood onward25, the wise mother will be instilling26 truths into the minds of her daughters, that will be along the line of preparation for motherhood. The early teaching of truth, the early knowledge of self and sex relations, the right estimate of marriage, all these lessons are preparing the way for the later knowledge that precedes motherhood.
From the wedding day, the young matron should shape her life to the probable and desired contingency of conception and maternity.[101] Otherwise she has no right or title to wifehood.
While it has been proven that transient states of the parents have far less influence upon the offspring, than fixed habits of mind, yet much can be done by way of amending27 defects, and fixing admirable and desired traits in character, which before had been transient, and thus influencing with greater power the minds of the offspring.
Let this be always remembered that the stronger and more beautiful the mother becomes, the more lovely will be her children. Soul-gardeners should all mothers be in a peculiar28 sense, that the children which shall be given her, may have good soil in which to generate and grow during antenatal life.
No sacrifice should be considered too great for her to make, that this end may be conserved29. As soon as she discovers herself pregnant, she should modify her clothing to the comfort and healthfulness of herself and baby. If she have already learned how to dress healthfully, she will need to make few changes in the early months. No weight of clothing should be allowed to rest upon the hips30; everything must be supported from the shoulders. The skirt and waist can be fashioned in one garment, and so made that they[102] can be let out to accommodate themselves to the growing need. The dainty and pretty maternity gowns are everything that can be desired, and can be so diversified31 that they meet all the wants of taste and change. Patterns for these can be bought at any reliable pattern house, and the gown can be made as elaborate as fancy dictates32.
The union suit of underclothing, the union skirt and waist combined, and the gown, are all that should be worn throughout the entire period. If more warmth is needed it should be given in the undergarments.
Exercise must be taken daily as a religious duty. The common work which is to be done about the home, is as good as any system of physical exercise which can be devised for development and healthfulness throughout pregnancy33; however, other movements for the special strengthening of the muscles of the back and abdomen34 may be taken with profit.
Beginning with the fourth month sitz baths (a bath taken in a sitting posture35 with only the parts about the hips submerged) should be taken as often as twice weekly for the following three months, and after this to the close of the period, every night just before retiring. The water should be as hot as can well be borne, and the bath continued for at least fifteen or twenty minutes, while a half hour can do no harm if it be enjoyed. Warm water should be added to keep the bath at an even temperature. Of course this should be taken in a warm room where there is no danger of a chill at the time or after.
With proper exercise and the baths, there will be no need of bandaging to hold up the pendant abdomen, for the strengthened muscles will do their work better than art can do it.
A word right here will not be out of place, upon the subject of threatened miscarriages. Young wives who are uninformed on these things will often be greatly troubled at symptoms which to them may seem alarming, which are not so at all, while on the other hand they may pass over too lightly other symptoms that are really grave in character.
At any time throughout the pregnancy a flow of blood, even if slight, must be considered grave enough to call for the counsel of the physician. Pains simulating menstrual pains, if at all aggravated36 must be looked after, and not be allowed to continue. Great care should always be taken at what would have been were she not pregnant, the regular[104] monthly period, as the greatest danger of miscarriage4 comes at these times. No undue37 exercise should be taken, but instead, all the work, recreation and exercise should be rather under the ordinary, at these periods.
If miscarriage threatens, the first symptom to cause alarm will be a flow of more or less amount, and, on the appearance of this the physician should be at once consulted. Following this there should be enforced rest, preferably in a reclining position, for several days, until all fears that there will be a return are allayed38, then the usual cares must be resumed with caution.
To guard against threatened miscarriage any young wife need only observe the rules which govern right living and carefulness, and she need have no fear.
All this for preservation39 and care; now a further word.
It has been remarked by travellers in Italy, that many of the native children bear a striking resemblance to the pictures of the child Jesus, from the adoration40 which the mothers give the Madonnas. The same truth is here again taught, that we not only become like what we most love, and think most about, but that we may transmit this likeness41 to our little ones. O mothers! what an incentive[105] to high and noble thinking, and to worthy42 objects for our loves.
So far as inheritance goes this is too true, but there is another side which we must not fail to emphasize. Surroundings and education, with the grace of God, may do very much to eradicate43 harmful hereditary44 tendencies. Yet the truth remains45 that the prevailing tendencies of a life are inborn46, and unless they are set in the right direction, we do battle against them at fearful odds47, and with an expenditure48 of a vast amount of strength, that used otherwise would give us a long push in the successful journey of life.
Harriet Prescott Spofford has in her inimitable way put the truth of this mother inheritance in these words: “No intelligence, no cunning, no benevolence49, could evade the inevitable50. For what she was, that her child was. You do not gather figs51 from thistles. What she had made herself, she had made her child; what she had become that her child became also. In being born the child became all that.”
That we may train the more systematically52 our little unborn babes, it will be well for us to study the five stages of prenatal culture. In giving these stages, I would not have you understand that at no other time except at[106] these periods are the given characteristics of mind and body cultured and strengthened; but that in these special periods they receive their strongest impetus53 and determination. Throughout the entire ten lunar months should we foster and culture all the sweet graces, but especially in these times.
In the first two of the ten lunar months of pregnancy the physical nature of the little one is shaped. During this time the mother should pay especial attention to physical exercises which will add to her strength and insure vigorous health through the remaining months. In other words, she should fix her habits of exercise in this period and adhere to them as closely as possible throughout the entire ten months. As far as may be, put pleasure and diversion into your exercise.
Look at beautiful pictures, study perfect pieces of statuary, forbid as far as possible the contemplation of unsightly and imperfect models. Make your reading tend toward the same end and you will be rewarded with beautiful, vigorous children. If it be true, as we know it is, that the dog-fancier can produce you a dog at will, that will be marked as you order, why may not this same law be demonstrated in the human family? Remember the story of Jacob’s sheep and the “pilled rods” for illustration in the animal kingdom.
During the third and fourth months the vital instincts are determined. Then the domestic and social affections and loves, love of home and family, are implanted. How very much the future mother may do by making the home at this time the fairest place on earth; and becoming so in love with it herself, that her child may forever in its after life repeat this affection.
“In the fifth and sixth months the observing, or perceptive55 powers are cultured and engrafted. Individuality, form, weight, color, calculation, time, tune56, language and the five external senses.”
Surely, enough variety in study for this period. If you are not observing, learn to be, by persistent57 exercise; assert your individuality; study independence in thought and action; be self-reliant, self-contained. Study form and outline until you can take them in at a glance. If you have never cultivated an artistic58 taste do so at this time. If you have not the time, talent or money to learn to execute pictures yourself, you can at least study the beautiful things done by others, and can implant54 the love for these things, which may be highly developed in[108] your child. Many an ideal to which you have never been able to give expression will thus be wrought59 out in the most glowing imagery hereafter by your children. The things you have longed to be will find expression in their lives.
Many a poet, I believe, has been born of parents whose lives were poems, but who were never able to express a couplet in rhyme or meter. “Susanna Wesley, with the song of praise and the gospel of peace in her heart, bore and gave to the world two sons, whose spiritual achievement in song and sermon set in motion a wave of blessing60 that has carried peace to thousands of souls the world over, and will carry to the end of time. Herself no singer or preacher, but living the song and the sermon that found expression in her sons.”
Truly nowhere does seed-sowing bring a hundredfold more surely, than that implanted in the prenatal life of our babies.
“In the fourth stage we develop the constructive61 and beautifying powers; as constructiveness62, ideality, sublimity63, mirthfulness, imitation, suavity64, etc.” How much, by giving during this period, these faculties65 in your own mind full play, and judicious66 cultivation67, can you add of blessing and happy helpfulness to the little life growing to maturity68 under your heart.
“The fifth and last stage of two months we may call the humanitarian69 and beneficent. In this period, the religious or worshipful aspirations70, spiritual or upward looking powers, as hope, veneration71, benevolence, charity, etc., etc., receive their impetus.”
How beautiful is the thought that in the last two months while waiting for the little one to come into her arms, the mother’s thoughts should be especially directed toward the highest and noblest possibilities of her nature, and that by so doing she may endow her child with these characteristics.
O mother, mother! As you learn these things, prove them in your own life; and then your work is only begun; for you are bound by all the ties of our common sisterhood to pass them on to mothers less favored than you, that they too may learn the possibilities bound up in motherhood.
A noble rule among the early Christians was this: “Whenever you learn a new and good thing, go and find some one that does not know it, and tell him of it.” A blessed rule for us as mothers to follow. We who have had some of the higher opportunities have a great responsibility resting upon us.
I found a few months ago, in one of our religious papers a little poem that appealed to me in its beauty and truthfulness72. I cut it out and read it over many times until the words were learned. It is too true, I said to myself, but need it be so? No; it need not, if we reach out for the noblest within us and claim our privileges.
I caught up my pen and in the meter that had sung itself into my heart, I copied my own thoughts on the subject, and I will give them both to you.
THE BABY.
BY EMMA A. LENTE.
“She is a little hindering thing,”
The mother said,
“I do not have an hour of peace
Till she’s in bed.
“She clings unto my hand and gown
And follows me
About the house from room to room,
Talks constantly.
“She is a bundle full of nerves,
And wilful73 ways.
She does not sleep full sound at night,
Scarce any, days.
“She doesn’t like to hear the wind,
The dark she fears,
And piteously she calls to me
To wipe her tears.
“She is a little hindering thing,”
The mother said,
“But still she is my wine of life,
My daily bread.”
The children what a load of care
Their coming brings:
But oh, the grief when God doth stoop
To give them wings.
THE BABIES.
The children: what if months before
We planned their lot,
And never in the passing weeks,
Their good forgot?
What if, as little garments grew
From busy hands,
We wrought with tender patient care
The soul’s white bands?
And what if we both willed and prayed
That baby’s life
Should be a better one than ours
’Mid toil74 and strife75?
So filled the weeks while waiting them
With full content,
That sweetness, joy and bubbling life
Were to them lent?
I’m sure this song would then be changed
And read more sweet;
We’d sing it to the dancing time
Of baby feet.
She’s such a little gladsome thing
The mother’d say,
I cannot have an hour of joy
When she’s away.
She is a bundle full of rest
And joyous76 ways;
She sleeps so sweetly round at night,
And fills my days.
She doesn’t mind about the wind,
The dark ne’er fears,
She laughs and sings and cuddles down
With smiles not tears.
She’s such a little helping77 thing
The mother’d say;
And is my very wine of life
From day to day.
Such children: what a load of love
Their coming brings:
But oh the grief when parents fail
To give them wings.
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1
maternity
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| n.母性，母道，妇产科病房；adj.孕妇的，母性的 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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miscarriages
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| 流产( miscarriage的名词复数 ) | |
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miscarriage
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| n.失败，未达到预期的结果；流产 | |
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illustrated
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| adj. 有插图的，列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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contingency
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| n.意外事件，可能性 | |
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unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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evade
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| vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避 | |
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everlastingly
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| 永久地，持久地 | |
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congestion
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| n.阻塞，消化不良 | |
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afflict
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| vt.使身体或精神受痛苦，折磨 | |
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14
prevailing
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| adj.盛行的；占优势的；主要的 | |
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abortion
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| n.流产，堕胎 | |
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nefarious
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| adj.恶毒的，极坏的 | |
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invalidism
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| 病弱，病身； 伤残 | |
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adepts
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| n.专家，能手( adept的名词复数 ) | |
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Christians
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| n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 ) | |
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professing
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| 声称( profess的现在分词 )； 宣称； 公开表明； 信奉 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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conserving
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| v.保护，保藏，保存( conserve的现在分词 ) | |
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onward
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| adj.向前的，前进的；adv.向前，前进，在先 | |
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instilling
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| v.逐渐使某人获得（某种可取的品质），逐步灌输( instil的现在分词 )；逐渐使某人获得（某种可取的品质），逐步灌输( instill的现在分词 ) | |
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amending
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| 改良，修改，修订( amend的现在分词 )； 改良，修改，修订( amend的第三人称单数 )( amends的现在分词 ) | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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conserved
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| v.保护，保藏，保存( conserve的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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diversified
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| adj.多样化的，多种经营的v.使多样化，多样化( diversify的过去式和过去分词 )；进入新的商业领域 | |
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dictates
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| n.命令，规定，要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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pregnancy
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| n.怀孕，怀孕期 | |
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abdomen
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| n.腹，下腹(胸部到腿部的部分) | |
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posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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aggravated
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| 使恶化( aggravate的过去式和过去分词 )； 使更严重； 激怒； 使恼火 | |
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37
undue
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| adj.过分的；不适当的；未到期的 | |
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allayed
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| v.减轻，缓和( allay的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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preservation
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| n.保护，维护，保存，保留，保持 | |
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40
adoration
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| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
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41
likeness
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| n.相像，相似（之处） | |
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42
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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43
eradicate
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| v.根除，消灭，杜绝 | |
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hereditary
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| adj.遗传的，遗传性的，可继承的，世袭的 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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inborn
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| adj.天生的，生来的，先天的 | |
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odds
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| n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别 | |
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expenditure
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| n.(时间、劳力、金钱等)支出；使用，消耗 | |
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benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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figs
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| figures 数字，图形，外形 | |
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systematically
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| adv.有系统地 | |
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impetus
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| n.推动，促进，刺激；推动力 | |
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implant
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| vt.注入，植入，灌输 | |
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perceptive
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| adj.知觉的，有洞察力的，感知的 | |
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56
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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persistent
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| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
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artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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constructive
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| adj.建设的，建设性的 | |
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constructiveness
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| 组织，构造 | |
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sublimity
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| 崇高，庄严，气质高尚 | |
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suavity
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| n.温和；殷勤 | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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judicious
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| adj.明智的，明断的，能作出明智决定的 | |
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67
cultivation
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| n.耕作，培养，栽培（法），养成 | |
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68
maturity
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| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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69
humanitarian
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| n.人道主义者，博爱者，基督凡人论者 | |
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70
aspirations
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| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
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71
veneration
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| n.尊敬，崇拜 | |
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72
truthfulness
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| n. 符合实际 | |
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73
wilful
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| adj.任性的，故意的 | |
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toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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75
strife
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| n.争吵，冲突，倾轧，竞争 | |
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76
joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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