Once he found the chance to murmur12 to Kathleen: “When this is over, I hope you will manage it so that I may speak with you.”
She nodded slow assent13, without looking at him. He, observing her profile, realized all at once that something was amiss with her. It came back to him now that a certain intensity14 of sadness had dwelt in the first glance they had exchanged that morning, upon meeting. At the time he had referred it to the general aspect of woe15 which people put on at funerals. He saw now that it was a grief personal to herself. And now that he thought of it, too, there had been much the same stricken look upon Emanuel’s face. It was incredible that they should be thus devoured16 by grief at the fact of his grandfather’s death. No one had liked that old man overmuch—but surely they least of all. The emotion of Lord Julius was more intelligible—and yet even this had a quality of broken dejection in it which seemed independent of Caermere’s cause for mourning.
The disquieting18 conviction that these dearly beloved cousins of his—these ineffably19 tender and generous friends of his—were writhing20 under some trouble unknown to him, took more definite shape in his mind with each new glance that he stole at her.
Once the thought sprang up that they might be unhappy because such a huge sum of money had been given to him, but on the instant he hated himself for being capable of formulating21 such a monstrous22 idea. The wondering solicitude23 which all this raised within him possessed24 his thoughts for the rest of the meal. He was consumed with impatience25 to get away so that he might question Kathleen about it.
Yet when at last he found himself beside her, standing26 before an old portrait in one of the chain of big rooms through which the liberated27 company had dispersed28 itself, this was just the question for which it seemed that no occasion would offer.
She began speaking to him at once. “The young lady—Miss Bailey, I should say—has gone for a walk—so Falkner learns from some of the women. They have the impression that she is coming back—but I don’t know that I feel quite so sure about it.” Christian’s face visibly lengthened29. “It’s very awkward,” he said, with vague annoyance30. “They do not arrange things in a very talented fashion, these people of mine.”
“But what could they arrange?” she argued. An indefinable listlessness in her tone struck him. “It is a free country, you know, and this is the nineteenth century. They cannot bodily capture a young woman and keep her in the Castle against her will. As I told you, I had difficulty in persuading her to come at all.”
“Ah, what did you say to her?” he asked, eagerly.
“I can hardly tell you. She is not an ordinary person—and I know only that I tried not to say ordinary things to her. But what it was that I did say——” She broke off with an uncertain gesture, and a sigh.
“Ah, you saw that she was not ordinary!” said Christian, admiringly. “I should love dearly to hear what you really think of her—the impression that she makes upon you.” Kathleen roused herself and turned to him. “Do you truly mean it, Christian?” she asked him, gravely.
“Do you blame me?” he rejoined, with uneasy indirection.
She pressed her lips together, and stared up at the picture with a troubled face. “I know so little of her,” she protested. “You put too big a responsibility upon me. It is more than I am equal to.”
With a sudden gust31 of self-reproach, he perceived afresh the marks of suffering in her countenance32, and recalled his anxiety. “Take my arm,” he said, softly, “and let us go on into the next room. There is a terrace there, I think. Forgive me for troubling you,” he added, as they moved forward. “I ought to have seen that you are not well—that you have something on your mind.”
She did not answer him immediately. “It is Emanuel who is not well.” she said, after a pause.
Christian uttered a formless little exclamation33 of grieved astonishment34. “Oh, it is nothing serious?” he whispered imploringly35.
She shook her head in a doubtful way. “No, I think not—that is, not irrevocably. But he has worked too hard. He has broken down under the strain. We are going away for a long journey—to rest, and forget about the System.”
He bent36 his head to look into her eyes—trusting his glance to say the things which his lips shrank from uttering. A window stood open, and they passed out upon a broad stone terrace, shaded and pleasant under a fresh breeze full of forest odors.
“Oh—the System”—he ventured to say, as they stood alone here, and she lifted her head to breathe in the revivifying air—“I felt always that it was too much for one man. The load was too great. It would crush the most powerful man on earth.”
She nodded reflective assent. “Oh, yes—I’m afraid I hated it,” she confessed to him, in a murmur full of contrition37.
“But he is going away now,” urged Christian, hopefully. “You will have him to yourself—free from care, seeing strange and beautiful new places—as long as you like. Ah, then soon enough that gaiety of yours will return to you. Why, it is such a shock to me to think of you as sad, depressed—you who are by nature so full of joy and high spirits. Ah, but be sure they will all return to you! I make no doubt whatever of that. And Emanuel, too—he will get rested and strong, and be happy as he never was before—the dear fellow!”
She smiled at him in wan38, affectionate fashion. “All the courage has gone out of me,” she said. “Will it be coming back again? God knows!”
“But surely——” Christian began, with hearty39 confidence.
She interrupted him. “What I am fearful of—it is not so much his health, strictly40 speaking—but the terrible unsettling blow that all this means to him. It is like the death of a beautiful only child to the fondest of fathers. It tears his heart to pieces. He loved his work so devotedly—it was so wholly a part of his life—and to have to give it up! He says he is reconciled. Poor man, he tried with all his strength to make himself believe that he is. I catch him forcing a smile on his face when he sees me looking at him—and that is the hardest of all for me to bear. But I don’t know”—she drew a long breath, and gazed with a wistful brightening in her eyes at the placid41 hills and sky—“it may work itself out for the best. As you say—when we get away alone together, ah, that is where love like ours will surely tell. I do wrong to harbor any doubts at all. When two people love each other as we do—ah, Christian, boy, there’s nothing else in all the world to equal that!”
He inclined his head gravely, to mark his reverential sympathy with her mood.
“Ah, but you know nothing of it at all,” she went on. “You’re just a lad—and love is no more to be understood by instinct than any other great wisdom. Millions of people pass through life talking about love—and they would stare with surprise if you told them they never had had so much as a glimmer43 of the meaning of it. They use the name of love in all the matings of young couples—and there’s hardly once in a thousand times that it isn’t blasphemy44 to mention it. Do you know what most marriages are? Life-sentences! If you have means and intelligence, you make your prison tolerable; you can get used to it, and even grow dependent upon it—but it is a prison still. The best-behaved convict eyes his warder with a cruel thought somewhere at the back of his mind. Do you remember—when you left us the first time, I begged you to be in no haste to marry?”
He bowed again. “Oh, yes, I remember it all,” he said, soberly.
“I have come to feel so strongly upon that subject,” she explained. “It seems to me more important than all others combined. It is the last thing in the world that should be decided45 upon an impulse, or a passing fancy—yet that is just what happens all about us. The books are greatly to blame for that. They talk as if only boys and girls knew what love meant. They flatter the young people, and turn their empty heads, with the notion that their idlest inclinations46 are very probably sacred emotions—which they may trust to burn brightly in a pure flame all their lives. The innocent simpletons rush to light this penny dip that is warranted to blaze eternally, and in a week or a month they are in utter darkness. We trembled lest you, coming so suddenly into a new life, should meet with that misfortune.”
He smiled faintly at her. “You see, I have not,” he commented.
She regarded him thoughtfully. “It is impossible to make rules for others in these matters,” she observed, “but there is this thing to be said. True love must be built upon absolutely true friendship; there can be no other foundation for it You will often see two men who are fond of each other. They delight in being together. Very often you cannot imagine what is the tie between them—and they would not be able to tell you. They just like to be together—even though they may not speak for hours, and may be as different in temperament47 as chalk and cheese. That is the essence of friendship—and you cannot have love without it. The man and the woman must have the all-powerful sense of ideal companionship between them. They must be able to say with truth to themselves that the world will always be richer to them together than apart. There may be many other elements in love, but there can be no love at all without this element. But you wonder why I am saying all this to you.”
He made a deprecatory gesture of the hands. “I am always charmed when you talk to me. I have been remembering that dear home of yours, and how inexpressibly good you were to me. I prize that memory so fondly!”
She smiled with an approach to her old gaiety of manner. “You were like a son of our own to us. And so we think of you now—as if you were ours.”
“And with what munificence48 you have treated me!” he exclaimed, fervently49.
“And why not? For whom else would we be laying up our money? Oh, there was no difference of opinion about that. Months ago it was decided that when you came into Caermere you should come into everything.”
“I feared that Emanuel would be angry—disappointed—at my not taking up his work—but truly I could not. It wouldn’t be easy to explain to you—but——”
“No—let us not go into reasons. He had no feeling about it whatever. How should he? It would have been as reasonable to be vexed50 because the lenses of his spectacles did not fit your eyes. And Emanuel is reasonableness itself. No—the experiment was quite personal to himself. Without him, it could not have gone on at all. It will not go on now, when he leaves it to others. We make some little pretense51 that it will—but we know in our hearts that it won’t. And there was a fatal fault in it. To begin with, that would have killed it sooner or later, in any case.”
“I know what you mean,” he interposed, with sensitive intuition. “There was no proper place in it for women. ‘The very corner-stone of the System was the perpetual enslavement of women’—or rather, I should say”—he stumbled awkwardly as the sweeping52 form of the quotation53 revealed itself to him—“I should say, it did not provide women with the opportunities which—which——”
Kathleen also had her intuitions. “May I ask?—it sounds as if you were repeating a remark—was it Miss Bailey who said that about the corner-stone?”
Christian bit his lip and flushed confusedly. “Yes—I think those were her words,” he confessed. “But you must remember,” he added, eager to minimize-the offense—“it was in the course of a long discussion on the whole subject, and she——”
“The dear girl!” said Kathleen, with a sigh of relief.
“Ah, but you would love her!” he cried, excitedly perceiving the significance of her words. “She has the noblest mind—calm and broad and serene—and so fine a nature—I know you would love her!”
Kathleen put a hand on his arm, with motherly directness. “But do you love her?” she asked.
To his own considerable surprise he hesitated. “I have that feeling of deep friendship that you described,” he said, slowly. “The charm of being where she is is like nothing else to me. I cannot think that it would ever lose its force for me. I get the effect of drawing strength and breadth of thought and temper from her, when I am with her. I would rather spend my life with her for my companion than any other woman I have ever seen. That is what you mean, is it not?”
“Partly,” she made enigmatic response. “But—now you mustn’t answer me if I ask what I’ve no business to ask—but the suspicion came to me while you were speaking—I am right, am I not, in thinking that you have said all this to her?”
“Yes,” he admitted with palpable reluctance54, “and she would not listen to me. Only a few hours before I heard the news of my grandfather’s death, I asked her to be my wife, and she refused. She seemed very resolute55. And yet she has some of that same feeling of friendship for me. She said that she had always a deep interest in me. She had read books—very serious books—in order to be able to advise me, if the chance ever came. All that bespeaks56 friendship, surely! And her coming here, to look on and still not be seen—you said yourself that she was distressed57 at being discovered—is not that the act of warm friendship?”
Kathleen pondered her reply. She looked away at the nearest hills across the river for some moments, with her gaze riveted58 fixedly59 as if in an absorption of interest. Without moving her head, she spoke60 at last: “You have a good deal to say about friendship. It is my fault—I introduced the word and insisted on it—but did you also lay such stress upon this ‘friendship’ to her?”
“You do not know her nature,” he assured her. “There is nothing weak or commonplace in it. One does not talk to her as to an ordinary woman—as you yourself said. I begged her to join her life to mine, and I put the plea on the highest possible grounds. All that I have repeated to you, and much more, I said to her—how great was my need of her, how lofty her character seemed to me, how all my life I should revere42 her, and gain strength and inspiration from being with her.”
“H—m,” said Kathleen.
“Do you mean—?” he began, regarding his companion wonderingly—“was that not enough? Remember the kind of woman she is—proud of her independence, occupied with large thoughts, not to be appealed to by any but the highest motives—a creature who disdains61 the sentimental62 romances of inferior women—do you mean that there should have been something more? I do love her—and should I have told her so in so many words?”
“I’m afraid that’s our foible,” she made answer. On the face that she turned to him, something like the old merry light was shining. “You goose!” she scolded at him, genially63.
His eyes sparkled up as with a light from her own. “Oh, I will make some excuse, and get away from these people, and find her,” he cried. “She will be returning, if not here, then to the inn, down below the church, don’t you think? There would be nothing out of the way in my riding down, would there? Or if I sent a man down with a letter, appealing to her not to go away—telling her why? There is no earthly reason why she should not stop here at the Castle. Her sister is here—why, of course, she belongs quite to the family party. How dull of me not to have thought of that! Of course, Cora can go and fetch her.”
“I think I would leave Cora out of it,” Kathleen advised him. “There is nothing that you cannot do better yourself. Come here! Do you see that patch of reddish stain on the hill there, above the poplars where the iron has colored the rock? Well, look to the right, on the ledge64 just a bit higher up—there is Miss Bailey. I have been watching her for some minutes. She has been round the hill; the path she is on will lead her to the Mere17 Copse—and to the heath beyond the orchards65.”
His eyes had found the moving figure, microscopic66 yet unmistakable in the sunshine against the verdant67 face of the hill—and they dwelt upon it for a meditative68 moment.
Then he turned to Kathleen, and took her hand, and almost wrung69 it in his own. “Do let us go in!” he urged her, with exultant70 eagerness.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
luncheon
|
|
| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
Christian
|
|
| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
ponderously
|
|
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
verbose
|
|
| adj.用字多的；冗长的；累赘的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
offset
|
|
| n.分支，补偿；v.抵消，补偿 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
garishly
|
|
| adv.鲜艳夺目地，俗不可耐地；华丽地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
linen
|
|
| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
funereal
|
|
| adj.悲哀的；送葬的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
curiously
|
|
| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
steadily
|
|
| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
noted
|
|
| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
murmur
|
|
| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
assent
|
|
| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
intensity
|
|
| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
woe
|
|
| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
devoured
|
|
| 吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
mere
|
|
| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
disquieting
|
|
| adj.令人不安的，令人不平静的v.使不安，使忧虑，使烦恼( disquiet的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
ineffably
|
|
| adv.难以言喻地，因神圣而不容称呼地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
writhing
|
|
| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
formulating
|
|
| v.构想出( formulate的现在分词 )；规划；确切地阐述；用公式表示 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
monstrous
|
|
| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
solicitude
|
|
| n.焦虑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
possessed
|
|
| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
impatience
|
|
| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
standing
|
|
| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
liberated
|
|
| a.无拘束的，放纵的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
dispersed
|
|
| adj. 被驱散的, 被分散的, 散布的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
lengthened
|
|
| （时间或空间）延长，伸长( lengthen的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
annoyance
|
|
| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
gust
|
|
| n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
countenance
|
|
| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
exclamation
|
|
| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
astonishment
|
|
| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
imploringly
|
|
| adv. 恳求地, 哀求地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
bent
|
|
| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
contrition
|
|
| n.悔罪，痛悔 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
wan
|
|
| (wide area network)广域网 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
hearty
|
|
| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
strictly
|
|
| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
placid
|
|
| adj.安静的，平和的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
revere
|
|
| vt.尊崇，崇敬，敬畏 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
glimmer
|
|
| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
blasphemy
|
|
| n.亵渎，渎神 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
decided
|
|
| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
inclinations
|
|
| 倾向( inclination的名词复数 )； 倾斜； 爱好； 斜坡 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
temperament
|
|
| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
munificence
|
|
| n.宽宏大量，慷慨给与 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
fervently
|
|
| adv.热烈地，热情地，强烈地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
vexed
|
|
| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
pretense
|
|
| n.矫饰，做作，借口 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
sweeping
|
|
| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
quotation
|
|
| n.引文，引语，语录；报价，牌价，行情 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
reluctance
|
|
| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
resolute
|
|
| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
bespeaks
|
|
| v.预定( bespeak的第三人称单数 )；订（货）；证明；预先请求 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
distressed
|
|
| 痛苦的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
riveted
|
|
| 铆接( rivet的过去式和过去分词 )； 把…固定住； 吸引； 引起某人的注意 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
fixedly
|
|
| adv.固定地；不屈地，坚定不移地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
disdains
|
|
| 鄙视，轻蔑( disdain的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
sentimental
|
|
| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
genially
|
|
| adv.亲切地，和蔼地；快活地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
ledge
|
|
| n.壁架，架状突出物；岩架，岩礁 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
orchards
|
|
| （通常指围起来的）果园( orchard的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
66
microscopic
|
|
| adj.微小的，细微的，极小的，显微的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
67
verdant
|
|
| adj.翠绿的，青翠的，生疏的，不老练的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
68
meditative
|
|
| adj.沉思的，冥想的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
69
wrung
|
|
| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
70
exultant
|
|
| adj.欢腾的，狂欢的，大喜的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |