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首页 » 英文短篇小说 » Hints on Child-training » VIII. HONORING A CHILD’S INDIVIDUALITY.
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VIII. HONORING A CHILD’S INDIVIDUALITY.
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A child is liable to be looked upon as if he were simply one child among many children, a specimen1 representative of childhood generally; but every child stands all by himself in the world as an individual, with his own personality and character, with his own thoughts and feelings, his own hopes and fears and possibilities, his own relations to his fellow-beings and to God. This truth is often realized by a child before his parents realize it; and if it be unperceived and unrecognized by his parents, they are thereby2 shut off from the opportunity of doing for him much that can be done by them only as they give due honor to their child’s individuality as a child.

A little babe is not a mere3 bit of child-material, to be worked up by outside efforts and influences[Pg 72] into a child-reality; but he is already a living organism, with all the possibilities of his highest manhood working within him toward their independent development. Here is the difference, on a lower plane, between a mass of clay being molded by the sculptor’s hands into a statue of grace and beauty, and a seed of herb or tree containing within itself the germ of a new and peculiar4 individual specimen of its own unchanging species. An acorn5 is more than the fruit of the oak that bore it; it is the germ of another oak, like, and yet unlike, all the oaks that the world has known before the growth of this one. So, also, a child is more than the mere child of his earthly parents; he is, in embryo6, a man with characteristics and qualities such as his parents could never attain7 to, and which, it may be, the world has never before seen equaled.

The possibilities of Moses, who was to put his impress upon the world’s character, were in the Hebrew babe, as his loving mother laid him tenderly in the pitch-daubed basket of papyrus8, to[Pg 73] hide him away among the flags of the Nile-border, as they were not in any native babe of the household of Pharaoh; and if his mother had any intuitive womanly sense of his grand future in the providence9 of God, her zeal10 and faith in his behalf were quickened and inspired accordingly. And so it has been all along the ages; the germs of power and achievement were already in the babe, who was afterward11 known as Plato, or C?sar, or Muhammad, or Charlemagne, or Columbus, or Shakespeare, or Washington. And who will doubt that many a germ of such possibility in a young child has been quickened or repressed, according as that child’s parents have perceived and honored, or have failed to realize and to foster, the best that was involved in the child’s individuality?

It was to the credit of the high-priest Eli, that he perceived that the child Samuel was capable of receiving communications from the Lord, such as were denied to the possessor of Urim and Thummim; and that he honored the child’s individuality so far as to encourage him to declare the message[Pg 74] that God had sent by him; instead of treating the child as one who could receive nothing from God, save as it came to him through the medium of his guardians12 and seniors. This spirit it was that prompted Trebonius to bare his head as he entered the school-room where he was looked up to as the teacher; because, as he suggested, he recognized in every child before him there the possibility of lofty attainment13 in his developed individuality. And it can hardly be doubted that this attitude of the teacher Trebonius had its measure of influence in bringing to its fruition the germinal power in his pupil Martin Luther. Trebonius and Eli are—so far, at least—a pattern to the parents of to-day.

It is not merely that the child is to be the possessor of a marked and distinctive14 individuality, and that therefore he is to be honored for his possibilities in that direction; but it is that he already is the possessor of such an individuality, and that he is worthy15 of honor for that which he has and is at the present time. Many a child, while a child, is[Pg 75] the superior of his parents in the basis and scope of character, in the attributes of genius, and in the instincts of high spiritual perception. This is the true order of things in the progress of God’s plans for the race; the better is in the coming generations, not in the past. But even where the child is not the superior, he is always the peer in individuality of those to whom he looks up with honoring reverence16 as his parents, and he is entitled to recognition by them in that peership.

Every one who recalls clearly his child-time thoughts and feelings, remembers that even in his earliest days he had his own standpoint of observation and reflection; that he was conscious of his individual relations to others and to God; and that, in a sense, his independent outlook and his independent uplook as an individual were the same then as now, in kind, although not in degree. He also remembers that, as a child, he was often made to feel that his individuality was not fully17 recognized by others, but that it was frequently ignored or trenched upon by those who took it for granted[Pg 76] that, because he was still a child, he had as yet no truly individual position, attitude, and rights in the world. Yet it is not an easy thing for a parent of to-day to bear always in mind that every child of his is as truly an individual as he was when he was a child.

In little things, as in larger, a child’s individuality is liable to be overlooked, or to be disregarded. A little boy was taken alarmingly ill one day. For several hours his loving mother watched him anxiously. The next day he was in his accustomed health again. His mother, with the evident thought that a child could have no comprehension like a parent’s of such a state of things as that, said to him, tenderly: “My dear boy, you don’t know how sick you were yesterday.” “Oh, yes! I do, dear mamma,” he answered; “I know a great deal better than you do; for I was the one that was sick.” And many a child has the thought that was in that child’s mind, when he is spoken to as though he must get all his ideas of his own feelings and conditions and needs from some one who is[Pg 77] supposed to represent him better than he can represent himself—while he is still in childhood.

It is much the same in the matter of personal rights, as in the matter of personal feelings. A child finds that his individuality is constantly lost sight of, because he is a child; as it ought not to be. A little fellow who had been given a real watch, was conscious of an advance in his relative position by that possession. His uncle, having taken his own watch to the watchmaker’s, asked the loan of the little fellow’s watch for the time being, saying that he could not get along without one. “Can’t you get along without a watch?” asked the nephew. “No, I cannot,” replied the uncle. “If I had mine at the watchmaker’s, would you lend me yours till mine came back?” was the little fellow’s searching inquiry18. “Why, no; I don’t suppose I would,” replied the other. “But then, you know, I’m a man, and you are a boy.” “Well, then,” said the individual boy to the individual man; “if you can’t get along without a watch, and you wouldn’t lend me yours if I needed[Pg 78] it, I can’t get along without a watch, and I can’t let you have mine.”

Now, the trouble in that case was that the boy’s individuality was not sufficiently19 recognized and honored by the manner of that request for his watch. It seemed to be taken for granted that, because he was a child, he had no such rights in his own possessions as a man has in his, and that he put no such value on that which he had, as a man would be sure to put on his belongings20. Against that assumption the child quite naturally, and with a good show of logic21, resolutely22 asserted himself. If, on the other hand, the boy had been appealed to as an equal, to render a favor to the other because of a special and a clearly explained need, there is no reason to doubt that he would have been prompt to respond to it, with a feeling of satisfaction in being able to render that favor.

Just here is where so many children are deprived of their rights as individuals, by inconsiderate parents or others. When seats are lacking for new comers in a room or a street-car, and two[Pg 79] or three children are seated together by themselves in absorbing chat, the temptation is to speak quickly to the little ones, telling them to vacate those seats for their elders, in a tone that seems to indicate that a child has no rights in comparison with a grown person; instead of showing by the very manner of address that the children’s attention is called to their privilege of showing courtesy to their elders. In the one case, every child of that party feels aggrieved23 through being made to feel that his rights are not recognized as rights. In the other case, he is gratified by the implied confidence in his gentlemanliness, and in his readiness to yield his rights gracefully24. A child’s rights as an individual are as positive and as sacred as a man’s; and it is never proper to ignore these rights in a child, any more than it would be in a man.

When a child shows an unexpected interest in a subject of conversation between adults, it is not fair for the adults to brush aside the child’s questions or comments in a way that seems to say, “Oh! you are only a child. Your opinions are of no[Pg 80] account. This is a matter for real people to think and talk about.” Yet how common a thing it is for parents to treat their children in this way; and what a mistake it is! If, indeed, the subject be one that is fairly beyond a child’s grasp, it is quite proper to give the child to understand this fact, without any lack of respect for his individuality; but under no circumstances is it right to ignore that individuality at such a time.

The deeper the theme of converse25, and the profounder the thought involved in it, the greater the probability of a child’s freshness and life in its considering, if he indicates an appreciative26 interest in its discussion. It is not merely in the story of the child Samuel that there is a gleam of childhood’s possibilities in the direction of closer communion with God than is granted to ordinary manhood; but all the teachings of Scripture27 and of human experience tend to the disclosure and confirmation28 of this same truth. “Verily I say unto you,” says our Lord, “Except ye turn, and become as little children, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom[Pg 81] of heaven.” And again: “See that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, that in heaven their angels do always behold29 the face of my Father which is in heaven.” And there is an echo of these Divine words in the familiar teachings of the Christian30 poet of nature:
“Heaven lies about us in our infancy31
Shades of the prison-house begin to close
Upon the growing Boy,
But he beholds32 the light, and whence it flows,—
He sees it in his joy;
The Youth, who daily farther from the East
Must travel, still is Nature’s priest,
And by the vision splendid
Is on his way attended;
At length the Man perceives it die away,
And fade into the light of common day.”

There is, indeed, a possibility of retaining the child-freshness of acquaintance with spiritual truths even into manhood and through all one’s life. That possibility every parent ought to strive to attain to. “Whosoever therefore shall humble33 himself as this little child,” said our Lord, as he[Pg 82] pointed34 to a veritable human little one, “the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” And he who is greatest through being most child-like, will be readiest to recognize the individuality and the glorious possibilities of each and every child committed to his charge. Even while training a child, he will learn from the child; and so he and his child will grow together toward the measure of the stature35 of the fulness of Christ.

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1 specimen Xvtwm     
n.样本,标本
参考例句:
  • You'll need tweezers to hold up the specimen.你要用镊子来夹这标本。
  • This specimen is richly variegated in colour.这件标本上有很多颜色。
2 thereby Sokwv     
adv.因此,从而
参考例句:
  • I have never been to that city,,ereby I don't know much about it.我从未去过那座城市,因此对它不怎么熟悉。
  • He became a British citizen,thereby gaining the right to vote.他成了英国公民,因而得到了投票权。
3 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
参考例句:
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
4 peculiar cinyo     
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的
参考例句:
  • He walks in a peculiar fashion.他走路的样子很奇特。
  • He looked at me with a very peculiar expression.他用一种很奇怪的表情看着我。
5 acorn JoJye     
n.橡实,橡子
参考例句:
  • The oak is implicit in the acorn.橡树孕育于橡子之中。
  • The tree grew from a small acorn.橡树从一粒小橡子生长而来。
6 embryo upAxt     
n.胚胎,萌芽的事物
参考例句:
  • They are engaging in an embryo research.他们正在进行一项胚胎研究。
  • The project was barely in embryo.该计划只是个雏形。
7 attain HvYzX     
vt.达到,获得,完成
参考例句:
  • I used the scientific method to attain this end. 我用科学的方法来达到这一目的。
  • His painstaking to attain his goal in life is praiseworthy. 他为实现人生目标所下的苦功是值得称赞的。
8 papyrus hK9xR     
n.古以纸草制成之纸
参考例句:
  • The Egyptians wrote on papyrus.埃及人书写用薄草纸。
  • Since papyrus dries up and crumble,very few documents of ancient Egypt have survived.因草片会干裂成粉末所以古埃及的文件很少保存下来。
9 providence 8tdyh     
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝
参考例句:
  • It is tempting Providence to go in that old boat.乘那艘旧船前往是冒大险。
  • To act as you have done is to fly in the face of Providence.照你的所作所为那样去行事,是违背上帝的意志的。
10 zeal mMqzR     
n.热心,热情,热忱
参考例句:
  • Revolutionary zeal caught them up,and they joined the army.革命热情激励他们,于是他们从军了。
  • They worked with great zeal to finish the project.他们热情高涨地工作,以期完成这个项目。
11 afterward fK6y3     
adv.后来;以后
参考例句:
  • Let's go to the theatre first and eat afterward. 让我们先去看戏,然后吃饭。
  • Afterward,the boy became a very famous artist.后来,这男孩成为一个很有名的艺术家。
12 guardians 648b3519bd4469e1a48dff4dc4827315     
监护人( guardian的名词复数 ); 保护者,维护者
参考例句:
  • Farmers should be guardians of the countryside. 农民应是乡村的保卫者。
  • The police are guardians of law and order. 警察是法律和秩序的护卫者。
13 attainment Dv3zY     
n.达到,到达;[常pl.]成就,造诣
参考例句:
  • We congratulated her upon her attainment to so great an age.我们祝贺她高寿。
  • The attainment of the success is not easy.成功的取得并不容易。
14 distinctive Es5xr     
adj.特别的,有特色的,与众不同的
参考例句:
  • She has a very distinctive way of walking.她走路的样子与别人很不相同。
  • This bird has several distinctive features.这个鸟具有几种突出的特征。
15 worthy vftwB     
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的
参考例句:
  • I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
  • There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。
16 reverence BByzT     
n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬
参考例句:
  • He was a bishop who was held in reverence by all.他是一位被大家都尊敬的主教。
  • We reverence tradition but will not be fettered by it.我们尊重传统,但不被传统所束缚。
17 fully Gfuzd     
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地
参考例句:
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
18 inquiry nbgzF     
n.打听,询问,调查,查问
参考例句:
  • Many parents have been pressing for an inquiry into the problem.许多家长迫切要求调查这个问题。
  • The field of inquiry has narrowed down to five persons.调查的范围已经缩小到只剩5个人了。
19 sufficiently 0htzMB     
adv.足够地,充分地
参考例句:
  • It turned out he had not insured the house sufficiently.原来他没有给房屋投足保险。
  • The new policy was sufficiently elastic to accommodate both views.新政策充分灵活地适用两种观点。
20 belongings oy6zMv     
n.私人物品,私人财物
参考例句:
  • I put a few personal belongings in a bag.我把几件私人物品装进包中。
  • Your personal belongings are not dutiable.个人物品不用纳税。
21 logic j0HxI     
n.逻辑(学);逻辑性
参考例句:
  • What sort of logic is that?这是什么逻辑?
  • I don't follow the logic of your argument.我不明白你的论点逻辑性何在。
22 resolutely WW2xh     
adj.坚决地,果断地
参考例句:
  • He resolutely adhered to what he had said at the meeting. 他坚持他在会上所说的话。
  • He grumbles at his lot instead of resolutely facing his difficulties. 他不是果敢地去面对困难,而是抱怨自己运气不佳。
23 aggrieved mzyzc3     
adj.愤愤不平的,受委屈的;悲痛的;(在合法权利方面)受侵害的v.令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式);令委屈,令苦恼,侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词)
参考例句:
  • He felt aggrieved at not being chosen for the team. 他因没被选到队里感到愤愤不平。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She is the aggrieved person whose fiance&1& did not show up for their wedding. 她很委屈,她的未婚夫未出现在他们的婚礼上。 来自《简明英汉词典》
24 gracefully KfYxd     
ad.大大方方地;优美地
参考例句:
  • She sank gracefully down onto a cushion at his feet. 她优雅地坐到他脚旁的垫子上。
  • The new coats blouse gracefully above the hip line. 新外套在臀围线上优美地打着褶皱。
25 converse 7ZwyI     
vi.谈话,谈天,闲聊;adv.相反的,相反
参考例句:
  • He can converse in three languages.他可以用3种语言谈话。
  • I wanted to appear friendly and approachable but I think I gave the converse impression.我想显得友好、平易近人些,却发觉给人的印象恰恰相反。
26 appreciative 9vDzr     
adj.有鉴赏力的,有眼力的;感激的
参考例句:
  • She was deeply appreciative of your help.她对你的帮助深表感激。
  • We are very appreciative of their support in this respect.我们十分感谢他们在这方面的支持。
27 scripture WZUx4     
n.经文,圣书,手稿;Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》,《圣经》中的一段
参考例句:
  • The scripture states that God did not want us to be alone.圣经指出上帝并不是想让我们独身一人生活。
  • They invoked Hindu scripture to justify their position.他们援引印度教的经文为他们的立场辩护。
28 confirmation ZYMya     
n.证实,确认,批准
参考例句:
  • We are waiting for confirmation of the news.我们正在等待证实那个消息。
  • We need confirmation in writing before we can send your order out.给你们发送订购的货物之前,我们需要书面确认。
29 behold jQKy9     
v.看,注视,看到
参考例句:
  • The industry of these little ants is wonderful to behold.这些小蚂蚁辛勤劳动的样子看上去真令人惊叹。
  • The sunrise at the seaside was quite a sight to behold.海滨日出真是个奇景。
30 Christian KVByl     
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒
参考例句:
  • They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
  • His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。
31 infancy F4Ey0     
n.婴儿期;幼年期;初期
参考例句:
  • He came to England in his infancy.他幼年时期来到英国。
  • Their research is only in its infancy.他们的研究处于初级阶段。
32 beholds f506ef99b71fdc543862c35b5d46fd71     
v.看,注视( behold的第三人称单数 );瞧;看呀;(叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现)哎哟
参考例句:
  • He who beholds the gods against their will, shall atone for it by a heavy penalty. 谁违背神的意志看见了神,就要受到重罚以赎罪。 来自辞典例句
  • All mankind has gazed on it; Man beholds it from afar. 25?所行的,万人都看见;世人都从远处观看。 来自互联网
33 humble ddjzU     
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低
参考例句:
  • In my humble opinion,he will win the election.依我拙见,他将在选举中获胜。
  • Defeat and failure make people humble.挫折与失败会使人谦卑。
34 pointed Il8zB4     
adj.尖的,直截了当的
参考例句:
  • He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
  • She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。
35 stature ruLw8     
n.(高度)水平,(高度)境界,身高,身材
参考例句:
  • He is five feet five inches in stature.他身高5英尺5英寸。
  • The dress models are tall of stature.时装模特儿的身材都较高。


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