“Yes, I’ll come out in half an hour,” said Tom. “Get a few beaters, and we’ll just walk through the woods. And send down to the vicarage to ask Mr. Markham if he’d care for a tramp. They don’t have pheasants in Greece, Kimberley: there’s a country for you!”
“Mr. Ted4’s not at home, sir,” said Kimberley.
“I know, but his father is. He shoots very well. Send at once, will you? I want to start.{159}”
May had already left the house when the keeper came to bring Tom’s message to her father, and Mr. Markham left a note for her saying where he had gone, and that he would not be in for lunch. He was devoted5 to shooting, but of late years had not been able to indulge his taste; so some parish work which could easily be put off, as well as the chance of a quiet hour at his Aristophanes, fell into their proper places in the scheme of things.
It was about half-past twelve, and Tom was standing6 alone at the end of a small clump7 of fir-trees, round which he had stolen with infinite precautions in order to avoid startling the pigeons. He had studied the habits of pigeons in this particular spot with much care for several years, and the keeper always alluded8 to it as “Master Tom’s cover.” It stood on a knoll9 of rising ground, some quarter of a mile away from the house, and by dint10 of long experience and frequent failure Tom had found that if the pigeons were artfully disturbed by beaters entering towards the centre from opposite sides they always broke cover at two particular points at opposite ends of the knoll, and that one gun stationed at each of these points became a fiery11 sword, turning, as far as the pigeons were concerned, every way. Tom was standing at one end of the cover, having seen Mr. Markham to his place, and was expecting every moment to hear the tapping of the beaters’ sticks and the swan-song of the pigeons’ wings. He was on the edge of a little footpath12 which led across the park from the village, half hidden from it by a thick bramble bush, behind which he had placed himself{160} so that he could see without being seen. But at this most critical of all moments he heard with some impatience13 the sound of a footstep coming crisply and quickly along the frozen path. The path took a sudden bend almost exactly as it came opposite to him, and simultaneously14 he heard the faint tapping of the beaters’ sticks and saw a figure come round the corner.
For one moment Time stopped, and he stared blankly, wonderingly. Then half to himself, half aloud, he said—
“Oh, all ye gods, she is a goddess!”
The next moment he recognized her, and springing out from his bramble bush he took off his hat to May Markham, and wondered if she remembered him.
The beaters beat, and the pigeons started from the branches, and flew out in the pre-ordained manner, threading their way between the tops of the thick trees, as they and their deceased relations had often done before. Mr. Markham had one of the most delightful15 five minutes that falls to the lot of sportsmen, and straight over Tom’s head as he stood in the path the steely targets tacked16 and swerved17. But Tom heeded18 not; the swan-song of their clapping wings for once was unheard and unfulfilled, for in his heart there was another song, no last song of birds’ wings, but the first maddening music which a man’s heart offers to a woman, the song of a youth to a maid, the song of the lover to the beloved, which rises up day by day, and hour by hour, and keeps this old earth young.{161}
May replied that of course she remembered him, and supposed that he had just come back from Greece, and a golden silence descended19 again. Tom was standing on ground an inch or two lower than the girl, and their faces were on a level: if anything, she appeared the taller of the two, and as his eyes rested on hers they were inclined slightly upwards21, so that a thin rim22 of white showed below his honest brown iris23. May was with her back to the low southern sun, but it just caught a few outlying hairs which strayed from beneath her hat, and turned them into spun24 gold. Her lips were slightly pouted25, and through the length of her mouth ran a thin even line showing the white edge of her upper teeth. She had been walking quickly, and her nostrils26 swelled27 and receded28 with each breath, and one could just see the rise and fall of her bosom29 beneath her blue tightly buttoned jacket.
She met Tom’s eager gaze with unembarrassed, unaverted looks. They had been excellent friends when Tom had stayed with them not long ago at Chesterford, and this seemed simply a continuation of their early comradeship, for it was evident that he was quite a boy still. But almost immediately something in his look, or some half-conscious reminiscence of that moment, a fortnight ago, when she had looked at herself in the glass in Mr. Carlingford’s drawing-room, caused her to turn her eyes down, and for the first time she noticed that Tom was carrying a gun. The desire for an intelligible30 reason why he should have been found standing in a bramble bush on a cold winter’s morning had not appealed to her before.{162}
“Have you had good sport?” she asked, pointing to the gun.
Tom followed the direction of her finger, and to him also apparently32 it occurred for the first time that he was out shooting.
“Yes, very fair,” said Tom. “By the way, what’s happened to the pigeons?”
Almost as he spoke33 the head keeper emerged from the bracken, proud in the consciousness of a skilfully34 executed duty. He touched his hat to May, and turned to Tom.
“Wonderful lot of pigeons in this morning, sir,” he said. “Didn’t hear you shooting, Master Tom.”
“No, I didn’t see any birds. Did any come out over me?”
“Ten or twelve at least, sir, and the same over Mr. Markham.”
“Oh, well, it can’t be helped,” said Tom, rather confusedly. “We’ll go home to lunch now, Kimberley, and come out again after. We’re quite close to the house.”
“Is my father out with you?” asked May.
“Yes, I suppose you had gone out when I sent down. You can’t come through here—the brambles are so bad. Wait a moment, though.”
Tom gave his gun to the keeper, and trampled35 down the mixed bramble and bracken. There was one long spray which kept asserting itself again and again straight across the path, waving about two or three feet from the ground. In a fit of sudden impatience Tom seized it in his hand and bent36 it back{163} among the other bushes. As a natural and inevitable37 consequence his hand was covered with large prickles.
“Oh, why did you do that?” asked May; “I’m sure you’ve hurt yourself.”
Tom laughed.
“The will is destiny,” he said. “I wish to go this way, and the bramble was in the light. That I got pricked38 was destiny, but another kind of destiny. We shall meet your father if we go this way.”
To the intensest annoyance39 of Tom they did meet Mr. Markham in a few moments, walking towards them. The rational thing for him would have been to go round by the path instead of taking a short cut, and poor Tom had pricked his fingers for nothing.
“Capital five minutes I had there, Tom,” said he. “Why, where are you from, May?”
“I’ve just come from the Mills, on my way home to lunch,” said she.
“Oh, but you’ll lunch with us,” said Tom confidently. “We are just going home. Look, there is the house quite close, and we are going to lunch at one in order to shoot again for an hour or two afterwards.”
“Thanks, I’m afraid I had better go home,” said May.
“Oh, but why—why?” asked Tom, forgetting manners and everything else in the contemplation of his visions incarnate40.
May turned towards him, smiling.
“Well, I really must go off again in half an hour. It’s very kind of you to ask me,” she added suddenly.
“That’s splendid! We shall be very soon off{164} again too. Mr. Markham has been walking me off my legs already, and I know he will want to do it again the moment lunch is over.”
Mr. Carlingford was standing at the library window as the party came down the grass slope to the house, and a smile gathered on his lips as he watched Tom talking eagerly to May. Then, half to himself, half aloud, he made the following enigmatical quotation41: “‘As for the gods of the heathen,’” and rang the bell to order another place at lunch.
Thus entered Tom into the garden of man’s heritage; the crowning gift of love was added to youth and life, the golden key which unlocks the gate of Paradise was in his hand. His whole previous life had in a moment been flushed with an intenser colour; he was like a man born blind, who, until his eyes were opened, knew not, could not have known, his limitations. It was bewitching, blinding, but altogether lovely, this new world into which he had entered. For him the period of bitter joy and sweetest anguish42 had begun.
That night he went to his bedroom early, saying he was tired and sleepy with the cold air; then ran upstairs three steps at a time, feeling an unutterable desire to be alone with his love; another presence, he felt, was a desecration43. He blew out his candle, and lay down full length on his bed, while the firelight danced and shivered on the walls and the flames flapped in the grate, and spread out his arms as if to take the truth in. How was it possible, he wondered, that a man who had ever been in love could speak of it? Love was something white and sacred, a clear{165} flame burning in a casket of gold, to be hidden from the gaze of men. No, that was not it at all; love was a glorious conquering god, and his captives should stand in the market-place of cities and cry aloud, “See, I can move neither hand nor foot, I am chained in golden chains, my limbs are heavy with the chains of love. Envy me, bless me, weep for joy that I am a captive. Bind44 me closer yet, crush me beneath the weight of fetters45. Lead me about in your triumphant46 procession; I am a captive, a prisoner.”
He sat up, wondering at himself. It was not possible. How can the daughters of the gods dwell with men? “Why, everything is possible to me,” he answered himself. “I am in love, I am the king of all the earth. Nothing is impossible.”
This modest conviction made lying still impossible. He got off his bed, and began walking up and down the room, stopping now and then opposite the fire, which burned brightly and frostily. In the red glow of the coals his brown eyes looked black; his mouth was a little open, and his breath came quickly, as if he had been running a race. His smooth boyish face, tanned by southern suns, was flushed with excitement. Once in his walk he stopped, stood on tip-toe, and stretched himself till he felt every muscle in his body quiver and tingle47.
Sleep was impossible, everything but violent action was impossible, thought was impossible and inevitable. Surely it was morning by this time. His watch reminded him that it was just a quarter to twelve; he had been in his room only twenty minutes. Perhaps time had stopped, perhaps he was dead,{166} perhaps this was heaven. He would go to the house-top and cry to the four quarters of heaven, and to the listening earth, the story of his love, how he was out shooting pigeons, and standing in a bramble bush, when he saw her for whom the world was made walking towards him. He would run down through the village to the vicarage, and stand and look at the little house in which she slept. What was space? How could she be in a room, and that room be in a house? for she was everywhere. Heaven and earth could not hold her; even the thought of her filled all the world. That afternoon he had seen the tall bare-limbed trees, the level rays of the setting sun, the rose-tinged fields of snow, all lovely because she was lovely, all bursting with the knowledge of her. He should have stood alone when the sun was just setting and questioned them of her. He should have taken the level rays of the sun into his arms, and kissed them because they were beautiful with one infinitesimal fraction of her beauty. He should have torn the secret of her from all Nature.
Mr. Carlingford laid a little trap for Tom next morning, which that young gentleman fell into head-long, much to his father’s amusement. It appeared that Mr. Markham had expressed a desire to consult a certain book which Mr. Carlingford knew was in the house, but had been unable to find till this morning. Would Tom, therefore, be so good as to ring the bell, in order that a boy might be sent down with it?
“I’ll take it if you like, father,” said Tom, with much over-acted nonchalance48.
“No; why should you?{167}”
“I—I rather want to see Mr. Markham and ask him if he can come out shooting again to-morrow, and find out when Ted’s coming home.”
“Well, why not write a note?” said his father, smiling to himself at this lamentably49 superficial excuse.
“Oh, I’ve got nothing to do,” said Tom, rising, “I may as well go. And Gibson says the pond bears; perhaps Markham will like to skate.”
Tom rang at the vicarage bell, and was apparently unable to make it sound, but at the second attempt produced a peal31 which would have awakened50 the dead, and asked if the vicar was in.
“Yes, he is in his study. This way, please.”
Tom peeped in through a chink of the drawing-room door, with his heart thumping51 at his ribs52, and followed the servant into the study. Mr. Markham was compiling some notes from an annotated53 text of the “Clouds,” but seemed glad to see him, and grateful for the book. A brilliant idea struck the young strategist, and he blurted54 it out.
“I came also to tell you that the pond bore, if you or—or—any one wanted to skate, and I shall be awfully55 glad if you would shoot to-morrow again. And oh, Mr. Markham, you know I’m very stupid at Greek, but since I’ve been to Athens I’ve simply loved it. I’m reading Aristophanes—at least, I’m going to, and I wonder if I might bring difficulties and so on to you—it would help me so much, if it’s not too much bother to you?”
“That’s capital of you,” said Mr. Markham heartily56. “I do like to see young men behave as if they had not done with classics when they leave the University.{168} My dear boy, of course you may. Come any morning or every morning. I set to work pretty early, and always read classics till eleven in the morning.”
“Thank you so much,” said Tom; “but you’ll find me fearfully stupid.”
“Nonsense, nonsense! one is only stupid about the things one doesn’t care for. I’ll tell you what. You must come to breakfast here whenever you want, and then we can set to work together at nine. I know your father doesn’t breakfast till late.”
“That is awfully good of you,” said Tom, “but I shall take you at your word, you know. And, by the way, perhaps Miss Markham would like to know the pond bore. I might tell her, if she’s in.”
“No, May’s out,” said her father. “She is always doing something.”
“But what can she find to do here?” asked Tom, divided between his desire to loiter and his wish to run away.
“She’s always visiting these poor folks,” said Mr. Markham. “She spends half her day among them. Very nipping weather,” and he stirred the fire.
“I see,” said Tom; “how awfully good of her! Well, I must go. I shall skate this afternoon. Really it would be a pity to waste such a lovely bit of ice. Gibson says it’s quite splendid.”
“Many thanks. I dare say one or both of us will come. It’s a pity Ted’s not here. He’s so fond of it. Good-bye. Mind you take me at my word about the Aristophanes.”
Tom lingered and loitered through the village, ordered a bookshelf which he did not want from the{169} carpenter, in case of May being there, and some bad and unnecessary tobacco from the village store, but saw her not. But there were the prospects57 of the afternoon and the Aristophanes lessons to fall back on.
So through the quiet country weeks their two young lives flowed inevitably58 towards each other, like two streams which, rising on distant ranges of hills, yet must some day meet in the valley between them. Though their natures sprang from widely distant sources, it was inevitable they would some time join.
But to continue the metaphor59, the bed over which Tom’s stream flowed was a bright gravelly soil, on which the water danced gaily60 and light-heartedly down to the valley, pursuing a straight swift course, whereas May had many rocks and sandy places to get over, and, what was worse, she could not understand, and half rebelled against, the course her stream seemed to be taking. The traditions in which she had been brought up had become part of her nature; for her, she thought, was the sheltered life, busy in little deeds of love, in caring for her own corner of the world, and bringing it nearer to God, and when at first the stream began to flow in this unconjectured direction, she was bewildered, almost frightened. Was there anything in this world so certain as her own duty? Could anything rightly come between her and this other life she had planned and dedicated61 humbly62 and gratefully to God? What call was there so clear as that still small voice which said, “Inasmuch as ye have done it to the least, ye have done it unto me?” And when she had come to argue about it, even to{170} herself, the end was already inevitable. As soon as a moral question becomes a thing to argue about, it is already without force. No argument will convince a man that it is better being good than bad; it is a matter, not for dispute, but of knowledge, and the man who disputes about it is bad.
Meantime Tom had turned a large roomy attic63 into a studio, and worked with all an artist’s regularity64, which the world is accustomed to call irregularity. He went constantly to London, made great friends with Wallingthorpe, and caused that eminent65 sculptor66 many fits of divine despair, but followed his advice about not immediately setting up a mourning Demeter, though for other reasons than his. A mourning Demeter, he announced frankly67, should soon be set up, but not at once. He was merely waiting, so he told Wallingthorpe, for that particular spark of divine fire to descend20, and till it descended he was willing and eager to gain greater facility with his hand. He also cordially agreed that no studio could exist in England except in London, but said that there were reasons why he could not live in London just now. “Perhaps before the summer is over,” he began, and his face flushed all over, and he asked if anything had been heard of Manvers.
Ted was at Cambridge, and during the Lent Term Tom went up there to see him. He arrived at the close of a lovely day in March, and though the lawns and lower roofs of buildings were already in shade, the four tall pinnacles68 of King’s Chapel69 burned like rosy70 flames against the tender green of the evening sky.
Markham had not seen Tom since he came to{171} England, and he looked forward to his visit with something like passionate71 eagerness, for Tom was to him the connecting link with the outer world of movement and eagerness from which he had voluntarily banished72 himself, but towards which even now he sometimes looked back with something like regret. Though his nature was one that hugs the shore, and prefers the quiet monotonous73 safety of the land-locked creeks74 and soft-sanded beaches to the risks and possibilities of the open seas, he sometimes cast his eyes to the great horizon where the ocean-going steamers passed and repassed, with their strange cargoes75 and dead and living freight from those dim mysterious countries whose very existence was becoming a fable76 to him.
And Tom came, with the seal of art and love upon him, but was his old boyish self, and sat on the arm of Ted’s armchairs, and inveighed77 against scholiasts, and wondered if Ted had ever heard of Pheidias. After tea they strolled down together through the gathered dusk, and sat on the bridge, and once more Tom dropped a match in the river, and waited to hear it fizz. But the difference was there, and Ted wondered if Tom would speak of it. Once he seemed on the point of it. The willow78 which overhangs the river had just begun to break into tender leaf, and the delicate foliage79 hung round it like a green mist. Tom paused a moment, and grew serious.
“Look at it,” he said, “it’s like the loveliest thing on earth; it is youth bursting into——” and he broke off suddenly.
Once again later in the evening he grew serious,{172} and it was so odd for Tom to be serious twice in a day, that Markham wondered.
“How I can have been such a fool when I was here I don’t know,” he said. “Somebody told me once that I thought Cambridge narrow simply because I wasn’t broad enough to appreciate it. Well, I think she was right. Mind, I don’t go back on anything I said this afternoon about scholiasts. You are narrow, old boy, so don’t misunderstand me.”
“Who was it said that?” asked Markham.
“Miss Wrexham, I think. Didn’t you meet her at home? She often tells home truths without making them unpleasant. That is not very common.”
“Oh, do you think home truths are unpleasant?” asked Markham. “I rather like you telling me I’m narrow.”
“My dear Ted, I never said home truths were unpleasant. I only said that she told me home truths without making them unpleasant.”
“What’s the difference?”
“All the difference in the world. Whether they are unpleasant or not simply depends on the personality of the person who tells you them.”
“You mean you think Miss Wrexham is not unpleasant?” asked Markham.
“Certainly, she’s not unpleasant. I think she’s quite delightful. I suppose you don’t appreciate her.”
“Well, I hardly know her. I remember what May said of her.”
Tom sat up in his chair.
“What did she say of her?{173}”
“She said she thought she wasn’t genuine.”
“That’s not quite true. Miss Wrexham is nearly always what you want her to be, but she doesn’t seem to me to forfeit80 her genuineness. She is the most adaptable81 person I ever saw. To me she praises the Parthenon, to Manvers La Dame82 qui s’amuse. But to any one who doesn’t know her well, that must appear like want of genuineness.”
Tom rose and walked up and down the room.
“I am getting terribly bourgeois83 in my tastes, Manvers would tell me. I care for nothing now but loyalty84 and honesty and genuineness and quiet country life.”
Markham stared.
“My dear Tom, you really shouldn’t give me such surprises. What has happened to the bustle85 and stir of the world, and statuettes bowling86 cricket-balls?”
“I don’t know. It was a phase, I suppose. One can’t reach one’s proper development except through phases. Paul was a Pharisee of the Pharisees; Augustine was a debauchee, a sensualist with the shroud87 round his feet.”
“Paul, Augustine,” said Ted, with a smile; “let us continue the list. What about you?”
Tom paused.
“I don’t know. I only know I have changed, that something very big has happened to me. Perhaps some time you will know what it is. I’m going to bed, Teddy. ”
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blizzard
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| n.暴风雪 | |
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burnished
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| adj.抛光的，光亮的v.擦亮（金属等），磨光( burnish的过去式和过去分词 )；被擦亮，磨光 | |
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copper
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| n.铜；铜币；铜器；adj.铜(制)的；(紫)铜色的 | |
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ted
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| vt.翻晒，撒，撒开 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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clump
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| n.树丛，草丛；vi.用沉重的脚步行走 | |
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alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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knoll
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dint
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| n.由于，靠；凹坑 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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footpath
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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tacked
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| 用平头钉钉( tack的过去式和过去分词 )； 附加，增补； 帆船抢风行驶，用粗线脚缝 | |
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swerved
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| v.（使）改变方向，改变目的( swerve的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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heeded
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| v.听某人的劝告，听从( heed的过去式和过去分词 )；变平，使（某物）变平( flatten的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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descended
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descend
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upwards
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rim
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iris
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| n.虹膜，彩虹 | |
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spun
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pouted
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nostrils
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swelled
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receded
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bosom
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intelligible
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peal
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apparently
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spoke
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skilfully
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trampled
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bent
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inevitable
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pricked
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| 刺，扎，戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 )； 刺伤； 刺痛； 使剧痛 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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incarnate
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| adj.化身的，人体化的，肉色的 | |
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quotation
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| n.引文，引语，语录；报价，牌价，行情 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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desecration
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| n. 亵渎神圣, 污辱 | |
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bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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fetters
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| n.脚镣( fetter的名词复数 )；束缚v.给…上脚镣，束缚( fetter的第三人称单数 ) | |
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triumphant
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| adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的 | |
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tingle
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| vi.感到刺痛，感到激动；n.刺痛，激动 | |
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nonchalance
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| n.冷淡，漠不关心 | |
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lamentably
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| adv.哀伤地，拙劣地 | |
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awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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thumping
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| adj.重大的，巨大的；重击的；尺码大的；极好的adv.极端地；非常地v.重击(thump的现在分词)；狠打；怦怦地跳；全力支持 | |
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ribs
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| n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 )；（船或屋顶等的）肋拱；肋骨状的东西；（织物的）凸条花纹 | |
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annotated
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| v.注解，注释( annotate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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blurted
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| v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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metaphor
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| n.隐喻，暗喻 | |
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gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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attic
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| n.顶楼，屋顶室 | |
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regularity
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| n.规律性，规则性；匀称，整齐 | |
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eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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sculptor
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| n.雕刻家，雕刻家 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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pinnacles
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| 顶峰( pinnacle的名词复数 )； 顶点； 尖顶； 小尖塔 | |
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chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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banished
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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monotonous
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| adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的 | |
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creeks
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| n.小湾( creek的名词复数 )；小港；小河；小溪 | |
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cargoes
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| n.（船或飞机装载的）货物( cargo的名词复数 )；大量，重负 | |
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fable
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| n.寓言；童话；神话 | |
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inveighed
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| v.猛烈抨击，痛骂，谩骂( inveigh的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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willow
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| n.柳树 | |
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foliage
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| n.叶子，树叶，簇叶 | |
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forfeit
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| vt.丧失；n.罚金，罚款，没收物 | |
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adaptable
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| adj.能适应的，适应性强的，可改编的 | |
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dame
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| n.女士 | |
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bourgeois
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| adj./n.追求物质享受的(人)；中产阶级分子 | |
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loyalty
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| n.忠诚，忠心 | |
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bustle
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| v.喧扰地忙乱，匆忙，奔忙；n.忙碌；喧闹 | |
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bowling
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| n.保龄球运动 | |
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shroud
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| n.裹尸布，寿衣；罩，幕；vt.覆盖，隐藏 | |
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