But with Ella Bedford the case was different. She was hourly awakening7 to the fact that hers was to be no pleasant sojourn8 at the Elms; and with tearful eyes she thought of the happy old days at home before sickness fell upon the little country vicarage, and then death removed the simple, good-hearted village clergyman from his flock, to be followed all too soon by his mourning wife.
“I have nothing to leave you, my child—nothing!” were almost the father’s last words. “Always poor and in delicate health, I could only keep out of debt. But your mother, help her—be kind to her,” he whispered.
Ella Bedford’s help and kindness were only called for during a few months; and then it fell to her lot to seek for some situation where the accomplishments9, for the most part taught by her father, might be the means of providing her with a home and some small pittance10.
By means of advertising11, she had succeeded in obtaining the post of governess at the Elms, and it was while on her way to fill that post that she had encountered the hopeful scion12 of the house of Bray. It was, then, with a feeling almost of horror that she met him again at the Elms, and her first thought was that she must flee directly—leave the house at once; her next that she ought to relate her adventure to some one. But who would sympathise with her, and rightly view it all? She shrank from harsh loud-voiced Mrs Bray; and, almost from the first meeting, Laura had seemed to take a dislike to her—one which she made no scruple13 of displaying—while, as a rule, she tried all she could to how the immeasurable distance she considered that there existed between her and the dependent.
On the day of the sheep encounter, agitated14, wounded, and with great difficulty keeping back her tears, Ella hurried on; and had Max Bray’s position been one of danger, it is very doubtful whether any assistance would have been rendered him through Ella, so thoroughly15 was she taken up with her own position. She felt that she must be questioned respecting her charges reaching home alone; they would certainly talk about her staying behind with their brother, and the culminating point would be reached when Miss Nelly declared what she had seen.
Well might the poor girl’s heart beat as she hastened on; for it seemed as if, through the persecution16 of a fop, her prospects17 in life were to be blighted18 at the outset. But there’s a silver lining19 to every cloud, it is said; and before Ella had gone half a mile, to her great joy she saw Nelly seated with her sisters by a bank, gathering20 wild flowers, and then tossing them away.
Fortune favoured her too when they reached the Elms: luncheon—the children’s dinner—had been put back for half an hour because Mr Maximilian had not returned.
“Mr Maximilian” did not show himself at all at table that day, and, glad of the respite21, Ella sought her bedroom directly after, to think over the past, and try and decide what ought to be her course under the circumstances. What would she not have given for the loving counsel of some gentle, true-hearted woman! But she felt that she was quite alone—alone in the vast weary world; and as such thoughts sprang up came the recollection of the happy bygone, sweeping22 all before it; and at last, unable to bear up any longer, she sank upon her knees by the bedside, weeping and sobbing23 as if her poor torn heart would break.
She struggled hard to keep the tears back, but in vain now—they would come, and with them fierce hysterical24 sobs25, such as had never burst before from her breast. Then would come a cessation, as she asked herself whether she ought not to acquaint Mrs Bray with her son’s behaviour?—or would it be making too much of the affair? Then she reviewed her own conduct, and tried to find in it some flaw—some want of reserve which had brought upon her the insults to which she had been subjected. But, as might be expected, the search was vain, and once more she bowed down her head and sobbed26 bitterly for the happy past, the painful present, and the dreary27 future.
It was in the midst of her passionate28 outbursts that she suddenly felt some one kneel beside her, and through her tears she saw, with wonder, the friendly and weeping face of Nelly, who had crept unperceived into the room.
“O, Miss Bedford! Dear, dear Miss Bedford, please don’t—don’t!” sobbed the girl, as, throwing her long thin arms round Ella, she drew her face to her own hard bony breast, soothing29, kissing, and fondling her tenderly, as might a mother. “Please—please don’t cry so, or you’ll break my heart; for, though you don’t think it, I do love you so—so much! You’re so gentle, and kind, and wise, and beautiful, that—that—that—O, and you’re crying more than ever!”
Poor Nelly burst out almost into a howl of grief as she spoke30; but, like her words, it was genuine, and as she pressed her rough sympathies upon her weeping governess, Ella’s sobs grew less laboured, and she clung convulsively to the slight form at her side.
“There—there—there!” half sobbed Nelly. “Try not to cry, dear; do please try, dear Miss Bedford; for indeed, indeed it does hurt me so! You made me to love you, and I can’t bear to see you like this!”
So energetic, indeed, was Nelly’s grief, that, as she spoke, she kicked out behind, overturning a bedroom chair; but it passed unnoticed.
“They say I’m a child; but I’m not, you know!” she said half passionately31. “I’m sixteen nearly, and I can see as well as other people. Yes, and feel too! I’m not a child; and if Laury raps my knuckles32 again, I’ll bite her, see if I don’t! But I know what you’re crying about, Miss Bedford, and I saw you wanted to cry all dinner-time, only you couldn’t; it’s about Max; and you thought I should tell that he put his arm round your waist. But I shan’t—no, not never to a single soul, if they put me in the rack! He’s a donkey, Max is, and a disagreeable, stupid, cox-comby, stubborn, bubble-headed donkey, that he is! I saw him kiss Miss Twentyman, who used to be our governess, and she slapped his face—and serve him right too, a donkey, to want to kiss anybody—such stupid silly nonsense! It’s quite right enough for girls and women to kiss; but for a man—pah! I don’t believe Max was ever meant to be anything but a girl, though; and I told him so once, and he boxed my ears, and I threw the butter-plate at him, and the butter stuck in his whiskers, and it was such fun I forgot to cry, though he did hurt me ever so. But I’m not a child, Miss Bedford, and I do love you ever so much, and I’ll never say a single word about you and Max; and if he ever bothers you again, you say to him, ‘How’s Miss Brown?’ and he’ll colour up, and be as cross as can be. I often say it to make him cross. He used to go to see her, and she wouldn’t have him because she said he was such a muff, and she married Major Tompkins instead. But it does make him cross—and serve him right too, a nasty donkey! Why, if he’d held my hand like he did yours to-day, I’d have pinched him, and nipped him, and bitten him, that I would! He sha’n’t never send me away any more, though; I shall always stop with you, and take care of you, if you’ll love me very much; and I will work so hard—so jolly hard—with my studies, Miss Bedford, I will indeed; for I’m so behindhand, and it was all through Miss Twentyman being such a cross old frump! But you needn’t be afraid of me, dear; for I’m not a child, am I?”
As Nelly Bray had talked on, fondling her to whom she clung the while, Ella’s sobs had grown less frequent, and at last, as she listened to the gaunt overgrown girl’s well-meaning, half-childish, half-womanly words, she smiled upon her through her tears; for her heart felt lighter33, and there was relief, too, in the knowledge that Nelly was indeed enough of a true-hearted woman to read Max Bray’s conduct in the right light, and to act accordingly.
“You darling dear sweet love of a governess!” cried Nelly rapturously, as she saw the smile; and clinging to her neck, she showered down more kisses than were, perhaps, quite pleasant to the recipient34. “You will trust me, won’t you?”
“I will indeed, dear,” said Ella softly.
“And you won’t fidget?”
“No,” said Ella.
“And now—that’s right; wipe your eyes and sit down—and now you must talk to me, and take care of me. But you are not cross because I came up without leave?”
“Indeed, no,” said Ella sadly. “I thought I was without a friend, and you came just at that time.”
“No, no, you mustn’t say that,” said Nelly, “because I am not old and sensible enough to be your friend. But it hurt me to see you in such trouble, and I was obliged to come; and now you won’t be miserable35 any more; and you mustn’t take any notice if Laury is disagreeable—a nasty thing! flirting36 all day long with my—with Mr Hugh Lingon,” she said, colouring. “But there, I’m not ashamed: Hugh Lingon is my lover, and has been ever since he was fourteen and I was six—when he used to give me sweets, and I loved him, and used to say he was so nice and fat to pinch! And Laury was flirting with him all that afternoon at the show, when Max would hang about—a great stupid!—when I wanted to explain things; for you know she was flirting with Hugh because that dear old Charley Vining wouldn’t take any notice of her. He is such a dear nice fellow! But I do not love him, you know, only like him; and he likes me ever so much. He told me so one day, and gave me half-a-crown to spend in sweets—wasn’t it kind of him? He’ll often carry a basket of strawberries or grapes over for me and the girls, or fill his pockets with apples and pears for us; when, as for old Max, he’d faint at the very sight of a basket, let alone carry it! You will like Charley. He is nice! Laury loves him awful—talks about him in her sleep! But I do not think he cares for her,—and no wonder! But I say, Miss Bedford, how nice and soft your hand is! and, I say, what a little one! Why, mine’s twice as big!”
Ella smiled, and went on smoothing the girl’s rough hair, but hardly heeding37 what she said—only catching38 a word here and there.
“I shouldn’t never love Charley Vining,” said Nelly, whose grammar was exceedingly loose, “but I should always like him; and if I don’t marry Hugh Lingon, I mean to be an old maid, and wear stiff caps and pinners, and then—You’re beginning to cry again, and it’s too bad, after all this comforting up!”
“No, indeed, my child,” said Ella, rousing herself. “I was only thinking that when things are at the blackest some little ray of hope will peep out to light our paths.”
“I say,” said Nelly, “is that poetry?”
“No,” said Ella, smiling sadly.
“Ah, I thought it was,” said Nelly. “But then I’m so ignorant and stupid! Mamma says I’m fit for nothing, and I suppose she’s right! But there, I’m making you tired with my talking, and I won’t say another word; only don’t you fidget about Max—only snub him well; and I wouldn’t tell pa or ma, because it might make mischief39.”
Hanging as it were in the balance, Ella allowed the advice of the child-woman at her side to have effect, and determined40 to say nothing—to make no complaints, trusting to her own firmness to keep her persecutor41 in his place until his visit was at an end. It was, perhaps, a weak resolve; but who is there that always takes the better of two roads? It was, however, her decision—her choice of way—one which led through a cloud of sorrow, misery42, and despair so dense43, that in after time poor Ella often asked herself was there to be no turning, no byway that should lend once again, if but for a few hours, into the joyous44 sunshine of life?
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1
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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2
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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3
defiant
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| adj.无礼的，挑战的 | |
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avalanche
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| n.雪崩，大量涌来 | |
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bray
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| n.驴叫声, 喇叭声；v.驴叫 | |
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6
effrontery
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| n.厚颜无耻 | |
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7
awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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8
sojourn
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| v./n.旅居，寄居；逗留 | |
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9
accomplishments
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| n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就 | |
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10
pittance
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| n.微薄的薪水，少量 | |
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11
advertising
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| n.广告业；广告活动 a.广告的；广告业务的 | |
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12
scion
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| n.嫩芽，子孙 | |
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scruple
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| n./v.顾忌，迟疑 | |
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14
agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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15
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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16
persecution
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| n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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17
prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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18
blighted
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| adj.枯萎的，摧毁的 | |
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19
lining
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| n.衬里，衬料 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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21
respite
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| n.休息，中止，暂缓 | |
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22
sweeping
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| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
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23
sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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24
hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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25
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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27
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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28
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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29
soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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30
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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31
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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32
knuckles
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| n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝 | |
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33
lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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34
recipient
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| a.接受的,感受性强的 n.接受者,感受者,容器 | |
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35
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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36
flirting
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| v.调情，打情骂俏( flirt的现在分词 ) | |
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37
heeding
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| v.听某人的劝告，听从( heed的现在分词 ) | |
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38
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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39
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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40
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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41
persecutor
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| n. 迫害者 | |
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42
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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43
dense
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| a.密集的，稠密的，浓密的；密度大的 | |
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44
joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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