In that sound she seemed to hear all the impatience2, all the pain, all the frustrated3 longing4 she divined in her son.
She got up from her chair and stood listening. Would he go straight upstairs—as she, in her stormy, passionate5 youth, would have done in his place?
But no—with a feeling of rushing, unreasoning joy she heard him coming across the hall. A moment later he walked through into the room and came and stood before her.
"Mother," he said, "it's a beautiful night. Would you care to come into the garden for a few minutes?"
As soon as they had stepped out of the French window into the darkness, she took his arm.
"You don't feel it cold?" he asked solicitously6.
"Oh no," she said, surprised. "I'm so little cold, Oliver, that I shouldn't at all mind going over to the blue bench, and sitting down."
They went across the grass, to a curious painted Italian bench which had been a gift of the woman who was so much in both their thoughts.
And there, "I want to ask you a question," he said slowly. "What led to the marriage of Laura Baynton [Pg 63] and Godfrey Pavely? From something she once said to me, I gather she thinks that you approved of it."
She felt as if his eyes were burning her in the darkness, and as she hesitated, hardly knowing what to say, he went on, and in his voice there was something terribly accusing.
"Did you make the marriage, mother? Did you really advise her to take that fellow?"
The questions stung her. "No," she answered coldly. "I did nothing of the kind, Oliver. If you wish to know the truth, the person who was most to blame was your friend Gillie, Laura's brother. Laura adored her brother. There was nothing in the world she wouldn't have done for him, and she married Godfrey—it seems a strange thing to look back on now—to please Gillie."
"But she met Pavely here?"
"Yes, of course she did. As you know, she very often stayed with me after her father died, and when Gillie Baynton, instead of making a home for her, was getting into scrape after scrape, spending her money as well as his own."
He muttered, "Gillie knew she was to have money later."
She went on: "And then Godfrey Pavely in love is a very different person from Godfrey Pavely—well, out of love. He was set on marrying Laura, and that over years. He first asked her when she was seventeen, and they married when she was twenty-one. In the interval7 he had done Gillie many good turns. In fact Godfrey bought Laura from Gillie. That, Oliver, is the simple truth."
She waited for him to make some kind of comment, [Pg 64] but he said nothing, and she went on, a tinge8 of deep, yearning9 sadness in her voice, "Don't let your friends, or rather their incompatibility10 of temper—" she hesitated, and then rather solemnly ended her sentence with the words, "affect our relations, my son."
"I'm sorry, mother." Tropenell's voice altered, softened11. "Forgive me for the way I spoke12 just now! I had got it into my head—I didn't know quite exactly why—that you had promoted the marriage. I see now that you really had nothing to do with it."
"I won't say that! It's difficult to remember exactly what did happen. Godfrey never wearied in his slow, inexorable pursuit of Laura. I think that at last she was touched by his constancy. She knew nothing then of human nature—she knows nothing of it now."
He muttered, "Poor girl! Poor unfortunate girl!" and his way of uttering the commonplace words hurt his mother shrewdly.
Suddenly she made up her mind to say at least one true thing to him. It was a thing she knew well no one but herself would ever say to Oliver.
"I am in a position to know," she said, "and I want you to believe it when I tell you, that if Laura is to be as much pitied as you believe her to be—so too, I tell you, Oliver, is Godfrey! If I had known before the marriage, even an hour before the actual wedding, what I learnt afterwards—I mean as to their amazingly different ideals of life—I would have done anything to stop it!"
"What d'you mean exactly, mother, by different ideals of life?"
As he asked the question he moved away from her [Pg 65] a little, but he turned round and bent13 his eyes on to her face—dimly, whitely, apparent in the starlit, moonlit night.
She did not speak at once. It seemed to her that the question answered itself, and yet she felt that he was quivering with impatience for her answer.
"The French," she said in a low voice, "have a very good phrase to describe the kind of man Godfrey is. Godfrey Pavely is a le moyen homme sensuel—the typical man of his kind and class, Oliver—the self-satisfied, stolid14, unimaginative upper middle-class. Such men feel that the world, their English world at any rate, has been made for them, built up by the all-powerful entity15 they call God in their personal interest. They know scarcely anything of what is going on, either above or below them, and what is more, they do not really care, as long as they and their like prosper16."
Oliver nodded impatiently. He knew all that well enough!
His mother went on: "Godfrey Pavely ought to have married some rather clever, rather vulgar-natured, rather pretty girl, belonging to his own little world of Pewsbury. Then, instead of being what he now is, an uncomfortable, not over contented17 man, he would have been, well—what his worthy18 father was before him. That odd interest in queer, speculative19 money dealings, is the unfortunate fellow's only outlet20, Oliver, for what romance is in him."
"I wonder if you're right, mother?"
"I'm sure I am."
There came a long silence between them.
Mrs. Tropenell could see her son in outline, as it [Pg 66] were, his well-shaped head, and long, lean, finely proportioned body. He was sitting at the further end of the bench, and he was now staring right before him. She found it easier—far easier—to speak of Godfrey than of Laura. And so, musingly21, she went on:
"Looking back a dozen years, I can think of several young women whom Godfrey would have done well to consider——"
"I can certainly think of one, mother," he said, and in the darkness there came a bitter little smile over his face.
"You mean Katty Winslow? Yes—I think you're right, my dear. When Godfrey turned from Katty to Laura, he made a terrible mistake. Katty, in the old days, had very much the same ambitions, and the same social aspirations23, as himself. She was really fond of him too! She would have become—what's the odious24 word?—'smart.' And Godfrey would have been proud of her. By now he would have stood for Parliament, and then, in due course, would have come a baronetcy. Yes, if the gods had been kind, Godfrey Pavely would have married poor little Katty—he didn't behave over well to her, you know!"
"It seems to me that Mrs. Winslow has made quite a good thing of her life, mother."
"Do you really think that, Oliver?"
"Yes, I do. She managed very cleverly, so I'm told, to get rid of that worthless husband of hers, and now she's got that pretty little house, and that charming little garden, and as much of Godfrey as she seems to want." He spoke with a kind of hard indifference25.
"Katty's not the sort of woman to be really satisfied with a pretty little house, a charming little garden, [Pg 67] and a platonic26 share in another woman's husband."
"Then she'll marry again. People seem to think her very attractive."
There was a long pause.
"Mother?"
"Yes, my dearest."
"To return to Laura—what should have been her fate had the gods been kind?"
She left his question without an answer so dangerously long as to create a strange feeling of excitement and strain between them. Then, reluctantly, she answered it. "Laura might have been happiest in not marrying at all, and in any case she should have married late. As to what kind of man would have made her happy, of course I have a theory."
"What is your theory?" He leant towards her, breathing rather quickly.
"I think," she said hesitatingly, "that Laura might have been happy with a man of the world, older than herself, who would have regarded his wife as a rare and beautiful possession. Such a man would have understood the measure of what she was willing and able to give—and to withhold27. I can also imagine Laura married to a young idealist, the kind of man whose attitude to his wife is one of worship, whose demands, if indeed they can be called demands, are few, infrequent——"
Mrs. Tropenell stopped abruptly28. What she had just said led to a path she did not mean to follow. But she soon realised with dismay that she had said too much, or too little.
"Do you mean," said Oliver hoarsely29, "that Pavely—that [Pg 68] Pavely——" he left his question unfinished, but she knew he meant to exact an answer and she did not keep him waiting long for it. Still she chose her words very carefully.
"I think that Godfrey Pavely, in the matter of his relations to his wife, is a very unfortunate, and, some would say, a very ill-used man, Oliver."
Oliver Tropenell suddenly diminished the distance between his mother and himself. The carefully chosen, vague words she had just uttered had been like balm poured into a festering and intolerably painful wound.
"Poor devil!" he said contemptuously, and there was a rather terrible tone of triumph, as well as of contempt, in the muttered exclamation30.
Mrs. Tropenell was startled and, what she seldom was, frightened. She felt she was face to face with an elemental force—the force of hate.
She repeated his last words, but in how different a spirit, in how different a tone! "Poor devil? Yes, Oliver, Godfrey is really to be pitied, and I ask you to believe me, my son, when I say that he does do his duty by Laura according to his lights."
"Mother?" He put out his hand in the darkness and just touched hers. "Why is it that Laura is so much fonder of you than you are of Laura? You don't respect—or even like—Godfrey?"
She protested eagerly. "But I am fond of Laura—very, very fond, Oliver! But though, as you say, I neither really like nor respect Godfrey, I can't help being sorry for him. He once said to me—it's a long time ago—'I thought I was marrying a woman, but I've married a marble statue. I'm married to something like that'—and he pointed31 to 'The Wingless [Pg 69] Victory' your father brought me, years ago, from Italy. Godfrey is an unhappy man, Oliver—come, admit that you know that?"
"I think she's far, far more unhappy than he is! No man with so thoroughly32 good an opinion of himself is ever really unhappy. Still, it's a frightful33 tangle34."
He stopped short for a moment, then in a very low voice, he asked her, "Is there no way of cutting it through, mother?" Suddenly he answered his own question in a curiously35 musing22, detached tone. "I suppose the only way in which such a situation is ever terminated is by death."
"Yes," she said slowly, "but it's not a usual termination. Still, I have known it happen." More lightly she went on: "If Laura died, Godfrey wouldn't escape Katty a second time. And one must admit that she would make him an almost perfect wife."
"And if Godfrey died, mother?"
Mrs. Tropenell felt a little tremor36 of fear shoot through her burdened heart. This secret, intimate conversation held in the starry37 night was drifting into strange, sinister38, uncharted channels. But her son was waiting for an answer.
"I don't know how far Laura's life would alter for the better if Godfrey died. I suppose she would go on much as she does now. And, Oliver——"
"Yes, mother."
"I should pity and—rather despise the man who would waste his life in an unrequited devotion."
He made an impatient movement. "Then do you regard response as essential in every relationship between a man and a woman?"
[Pg 70] "I have never yet known a man who did not regard it as essential," she said quietly, "and that, however he might consciously or unconsciously pretend to be satisfied with—nothing."
"I once knew a man," he said, in a low, tense voice, "who for years loved a woman who seemed unresponsive, who forced him to be content with the merest crumbs39 of—well, she called it friendship. And yet, mother, that man was happy in his love. And towards the end of her life the woman gave all that he had longed for, all he had schooled himself to believe it was not in her to give—but it had been there all the time! She had suffered, poor angel, more than he—" his voice broke, and his mother, turning towards him, laid for a moment her hand on his, as she whispered, "Was that woman at all like Laura, my darling?"
"Yes—as far as a Spaniard, and a Roman Catholic, can be like Laura, she was like Laura."
Even as he spoke he had risen to his feet, and during their short walk, from the bench where they had been sitting through the trees and across the lawn, neither spoke to the other. But, as he opened the house door, he said, "Good-night. I'm not coming in now; I'm going for a walk. I haven't walked all day." He hesitated a moment: "Don't be worried—I won't say don't be frightened, for I don't believe, mother, that anything could ever frighten you—if you hear me coming in rather late. I've got to think out a rather difficult problem—something connected with my business."
"I hope Gillie hasn't been getting into any scrape since you've come home?"
But she only spoke by way of falling in with his [Pg 71] humour. Nothing mattered to her, or to him, just now, except—Laura.
He said hastily, "Oh no, things have been going very well out there. You must remember, mother, that Baynton's scrapes never affect his work."
He spoke absently, and she realised that he wanted to be away, by himself, to think over some of the things she had said to him, and so she turned and went slowly up the staircase, and passed through into her own bedroom without turning up the light.
Walking over to her window, she gazed down into the moonlit space beneath. But she could see no moving shadow, hear no sound. Oliver had padded away across the grass, making for the lonely downs which encircled, on three sides, the house.
Before turning away from her window, Mrs. Tropenell covered her face with her hands; she was fearfully moved, shaken to the depths of her heart. For the first time Oliver had bared his soul before her. She thrilled with pride in the passionate, wayward, in a measure nobly selfless and generous human being whom she had created.
How strange, how amazing that Laura made no response to that ardent40, exalted41 passion! But if amazing, then also, from what ought to be every point of view, how fortunate! And yet, unreasonable42 though it was, Mrs. Tropenell felt sharply angered with Laura, irritated by that enigmatic, self-absorbed, coldness of hers. What a poor maimed creature, to be so blind, so imperceptive, to the greatest thing in the world! Dislike, a physical distaste for the unlucky Godfrey which seemed sometimes to amount to horror, were this beautiful woman's nearest approach to passion.
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1
glazed
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| adj.光滑的，像玻璃的；上过釉的；呆滞无神的v.装玻璃( glaze的过去式)；上釉于，上光；（目光）变得呆滞无神 | |
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2
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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3
frustrated
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| adj.挫败的，失意的，泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的过去式和过去分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧 | |
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4
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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5
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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6
solicitously
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| adv.热心地，热切地 | |
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7
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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8
tinge
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| vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息 | |
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9
yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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10
incompatibility
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| n.不兼容 | |
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11
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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12
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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13
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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14
stolid
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| adj.无动于衷的，感情麻木的 | |
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15
entity
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| n.实体，独立存在体，实际存在物 | |
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16
prosper
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| v.成功，兴隆，昌盛；使成功，使昌隆，繁荣 | |
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17
contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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18
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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19
speculative
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| adj.思索性的，暝想性的，推理的 | |
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20
outlet
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| n.出口/路；销路；批发商店；通风口；发泄 | |
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21
musingly
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| adv.沉思地，冥想地 | |
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22
musing
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| n. 沉思，冥想 adj. 沉思的, 冥想的 动词muse的现在分词形式 | |
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23
aspirations
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| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
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24
odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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25
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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26
platonic
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| adj.精神的；柏拉图（哲学）的 | |
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27
withhold
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| v.拒绝，不给；使停止，阻挡 | |
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28
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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29
hoarsely
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| adv.嘶哑地 | |
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30
exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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31
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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32
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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33
frightful
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| adj.可怕的；讨厌的 | |
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34
tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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35
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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36
tremor
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| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
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37
starry
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| adj.星光照耀的, 闪亮的 | |
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38
sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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39
crumbs
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| int. (表示惊讶)哎呀 n. 碎屑 名词crumb的复数形式 | |
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40
ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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41
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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42
unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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