When Ishbel entered, she was walking up and down, her hands clasped behind her, her heavy black brows drawn5 above the brooding darkness below. She, too, was in an unenviable frame of mind.
Her brows relaxed as she saw Ishbel. “What on earth is the matter?” she exclaimed.
Ishbel, who had not slept but was quite calm, sat down and told her story.
“I don’t suppose you quite understand how I feel,” she concluded; “for you have always had your own fortune, have never even been dependent on your father. But of one thing I am positive: if you found yourself in my position, you would feel exactly as I do. So I have come to you to talk it out.”
“Of course I understand.” Bridgit turned her back and walked to the end of the room. She longed to add: “It is quite as humiliating to keep a husband as to be kept by one; rather worse, as tradition and instincts don’t sanction it.” But there are some things that cannot be said, save, indeed, through the offices of the pineal gland6; and as Bridgit, on her return march, paused and looked down upon Ishbel, standing7 in an attitude of rigid8 defiance9, with quivering, nostrils10 and fierce half-closed eyes, possibly her friend received a telepathic flash, for she exclaimed impulsively:?—
“You are in trouble, too. What is it?”
“Trouble is a fine general term for my ailment11. I’m merely disgusted, dissatisfied—on general principles. Possibly it’s the effect of reading Nigel’s book.”
“I haven’t had time to read it, but I’m so happy it has created a furore, and hope he’ll come back to be lionized. Odd he should write about the slums.”
“Not at all. The slums are always being discovered by bright young men, who, with the true ardor13 of the explorer, proceed to enlighten the world. Nigel—the story’s not up to much—but he has the genius of expression, and, having made the amazing discovery of poverty, communicates his own amazement14 that it should have continued to exist in civilized15 countries up to the eve of the twentieth century—and his horror at its forms. Some of his scenes are quite awfully16 vivid. But he’s no sentimentalist; he doesn’t call for more charities; he doesn’t even pity the poor; he despises them as they deserve to be despised for being poor, for their asininity17 in permitting and enduring. But he demands in their name, since the best of them are wholly incompetent18 as thinkers, that the educated shall favor a form of Socialism which shall not only provide remunerative19 employment for them, but compel them to work—grinding the idle, the worthless, the vicious to the wall, and training the new generation to annihilate20 poverty. Great heaven! What a disgrace it is—that poverty—to the individual, to the world, to the poor, to the rich. I never realized it until I read that book. Other ‘discoverers’ have put my back up. But Nigel is one of us; and when he sees it—and what a clear vision he has?—”
“How splendid!” cried Ishbel, also forgetting her own trouble for the moment. “And to be able to write like that will help him to forget Julia—must make all personal affairs seem insignificant21. Would that we all had such a solace22!”
“Solace! We are both strong enough to scorn the word. But having been awakened23, I should have no excuse if I went to sleep again. Nor you. I haven’t made up my mind what I’ll do yet, merely that I’ll do something. I’m sick of society. It’s a bally grind. Five years of it are enough for any woman with brains instead of porridge in her skull24. I’m glad you’ve had a shock about the same time—should have administered it if you hadn’t. Of course I shall continue to hunt, and keep house for Geoffrey, and watch over my child, but all that uses up about one-tenth of my energies, and no more. What I’ll do, I don’t know. I’m floundering. Lovers are no solution for me. They’re démodés, anyhow. I’m after some big solution both elemental and progressive. Of course I shall begin with politics—by studying our problems on all sides, I mean, not having hysterics over the party claptrap of the moment. That and a hard course in German literature will tone my mind up. It’s all run to seed. The rest will come in due course. Tell me what you propose to do. But of course you’ve had no time to decide.”
“Oh, but I have. I’m going to open a milliner shop.”
“What?” Mrs. Herbert sat down.
“You may think me vain, but I know that I can trim hats better than any woman in London.”
“Yes—of course. But Mr. Jones?”
“I think I can make him consent—advance me the money—by persuading him that it is a new fad25 with the aristocracy—I’ll point out to him several titles over shops in Bond Street.”
“You have an Irish imagination. He won’t hear of it.”
“I’m sure I can talk him over—”
“Besides, it isn’t fair. It will make no end of talk, and him ridiculous. If you go in for independence—and do, by all means—don’t begin your sex emancipation26 with the sex methods of second-rate women. Men are supposed to be direct, straightforward27, above the petty wiles28 to which women have been compelled to resort since man owned them. They are not, but, being the ruling sex, have forced the world to accept them at their own estimate. Besides, they find the standard convenient. That it is a worthy29 standard, no one will dispute. At least if we women cannot be wholly truthful30, we need not be greater liars31 than they are. And we can score a point by adopting the same standard. Tell Mr. Jones that you have decided32 upon independence, that if he doesn’t put up the money, I will; but don’t throw dust in his eyes—I doubt if you could, anyhow.”
“Would you really?”
“Of course I would. It would be great fun. But what is the rest of your program? Do you propose to leave him? To cook his social goose?”
“No, he has been too generous, whatever his motives33. No girl has ever had a better time, and nothing can alter the fact that he has rescued my family from poverty. Even if he cut both daddy and myself off his pay-roll, Aleece and Hermione and Shelah are rich enough to take care of the rest. I have done my duty by the family! No, I am quite willing to occupy a room in his house, go to the opera with him, even to such social affairs as I have time and strength for—I really intend to work, mind you, and to start in rather a small way, that I may pay back what I borrow the sooner.”
“How you have thought it all out! I wish I had something definite in sight. I despise the women that merely fill in time with intellectual pursuits, and I’ll be hanged if I take to settlement work—the last resource of the novelist who wants to make his elevated heroine ‘do something.’ I must find my particular ability and exercise it. To work with you actively34 in the shop would be a mere12 subterfuge35, as I don’t need money. But never mind me—When are you going to speak to Mr. Jones?”
“This afternoon. I wanted to talk it out with you first. We Irish are extravagant36. I was afraid I might have got off my base a bit.”
“The world will think you mad, of course. But that only proves how sane37 you are. I wish I could get together about a hundred women, prominent socially—merely because society women are supposed to be all frivolous—to set a pace. I assume that the average woman in any class is a fool, but there is no reason why she should remain one; and the exceptional women, of whom there must be thousands, only lack courage, initiative, a leader. By the way, what do you hear of Julia? I haven’t had a letter for two months.”
“They are to remain at Bosquith until the dissolution of Parliament, nursing their constituency. She is doing the lady-of-the-manor act, visiting among the poor, petting babies, and all the rest of it—but putting in most of her time with her beloved books. She rarely mentions France’s name.”
“Never to me. But I know from one of my aunts—Peg—that he’s too occupied getting back his health and pleasing the duke to drink or let his temper go. No doubt he’s making a very decent husband. It may last. But whether it does or not, I’m not going to let Julia go. She’s made of uncommon38 stuff and must become one of us.”
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1
ascertained
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| v.弄清，确定，查明( ascertain的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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2
disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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den
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| n.兽穴；秘密地方；安静的小房间，私室 | |
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4
destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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6
gland
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| n.腺体，(机)密封压盖，填料盖 | |
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7
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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8
rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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9
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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10
nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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11
ailment
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| n.疾病，小病 | |
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12
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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13
ardor
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| n.热情，狂热 | |
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14
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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15
civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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16
awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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17
asininity
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| n.愚钝 | |
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18
incompetent
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| adj.无能力的，不能胜任的 | |
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19
remunerative
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| adj.有报酬的 | |
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20
annihilate
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| v.使无效；毁灭；取消 | |
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21
insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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22
solace
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| n.安慰；v.使快乐；vt.安慰(物)，缓和 | |
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23
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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24
skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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25
fad
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| n.时尚；一时流行的狂热；一时的爱好 | |
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26
emancipation
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| n.（从束缚、支配下）解放 | |
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27
straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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28
wiles
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| n.（旨在欺骗或吸引人的）诡计，花招；欺骗，欺诈( wile的名词复数 ) | |
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29
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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30
truthful
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| adj.真实的，说实话的，诚实的 | |
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31
liars
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| 说谎者( liar的名词复数 ) | |
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32
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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33
motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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34
actively
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| adv.积极地，勤奋地 | |
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35
subterfuge
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| n.诡计；藉口 | |
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36
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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37
sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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38
uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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