The morning, therefore, found her refreshed; and although she was still annoyed at the discovery that she had not made herself over once for all, she had no intention of rocking her feminine ego3 in her arms again for some time to come. Another lesson she had learned was to switch thought off and on; she relegated4 her femaleness to the depths, and turned her attention to the work that had drawn5 her to England. The monthly bulletins with which Mrs. Herbert had remorselessly pursued her, alone would have kept her informed on every phase of the Woman’s War, and she had heard somewhat of it elsewhere. She was satisfied that in this new and menacing demand for the ballot6, women were prompted neither by vanity nor mere7 superfluous8 energy, but by an experience with poverty which had taught them that this great problem was their peculiar9 province. They were prepared to devote their lives to its solution, to court sacrifices such as man had never contemplated10; and they had the time, the instinct, the practical knowledge, which would enable them, if armed with political power, to solve this hideous11 and disgraceful problem once for all.
Julia had driven through a famine district in India and felt her brain wither12, her veins13 freeze, as she stared at mile after mile of starving skeletons, lying or huddled14 by the roadside, feebly begging with eyes that seemed to accuse the Almighty15 for multiplying the superfluous of earth. What to do for these wretches16, dying by the million, she had no more idea than Great Britain herself; but if it was beyond human power to grapple with the question of starving millions in a season of drought in India, so much the more reason to attack the less desperate but no less abominable17 question in a land where the poor were the result of the callousness18 of man. In dealing19 with this complicated problem many lessons would be learned that might later be applied20 to poverty on the grand scale.
The ballot, therefore, was but a means to an end, and to assist in winning it she had returned; meaning to devote to it all her time, her energies, and her talents. But must she join this new “militant movement”? She frowned with distaste. As to many at that date, it seemed both foolish and vulgar. Moreover, like all fastidious women that wish for fame, she shrank from notoriety, from figuring in any sort of public mess. However! She should soon be given her r?le, and whatever it might be, she was resolved to play it to a finish, and without protest.
Meanwhile she was eating her breakfast, the one appetizing meal in England, and when she was further refreshed, she opened the newspaper on the tray, remembering the disaster in San Francisco. The news was more encouraging. The city was still burning, but the loss of life had been comparatively small, and the inhabitants were either escaping in droves to the towns across the bay or camping on the hills behind San Francisco. Once more Julia’s thoughts flew to Daniel Tay, and she conceived the idea of writing to him. Surely an old friend could do no less, and now if ever he would be grateful for remembrance.
Therefore, as soon as she was dressed, she went to the desk in the drawing-room and committed the most momentous21 act of her life. She wrote to Tay a long and lively letter, full of feminine sympathy, of concern for his welfare and for that of his city. There were many allusions22 to their brief but unforgotten friendship (she had almost forgotten it!), references to his boyish sympathy, and assurances that she was now well, happy, free, and full of interest in life. “Do write to me,” she concluded. “That is, if you ever receive this; and tell me all about your life in the past ten years. Did you go on your ten-thousand-dollar spree? Have you made your great fortune? Are you ruling the destinies of your city? I have always felt sure you would never stop at being merely a rich man. And Mrs. Bode23? And Ella?” (alas!) “I do hope they have not suffered too much in this terrible disaster. If you like, if you have not wholly forgotten me all these years, I’ll write you of my life in the East these past four, and much else. I remember how freely I used to talk to you, dear little boy that you were, and I don’t think I have ever talked so freely to any one else. It would be rather exciting to correspond with you. But if you have quite lost interest in me, at least remember that I have not in you,—no! not for one moment—and long to hear how you have weathered this frightful24 calamity25.”
Now, why do women lie like that? Julia was as truthful26 as any mortal who is a component27 part of that complicated organism known as society may be, but she wrote these lines without flinching28, quite persuaded for the moment, indeed, that she meant every word of them. Perhaps here lies the explanation, in so much as all memories are alive in the subconsciousness29, and leap to the mind the instant their slumbers30 are disturbed by the essential vibration31; there to assume full and dazzling control. Let it go at that.
Julia, as a matter of fact, looked somewhat dubiously33 at the last paragraph of her letter. It was not in the least Oriental. She was also astonished at the length of the letter itself. She had long since discovered, however, that there are some people to whom one can write, and many more to whom one cannot. Oddly enough Nigel Herbert was of the last. He wrote a colorless letter himself, never striking that spark which fires the epistolary ardor34; but Julia reflected that she could write for hours on end to Daniel Tay; she felt as if embarked35 on some vital current which leaped direct from London to San Francisco, no less than seven thousand miles. She sealed the letter.
Then she discovered that the sun was out and remembered that she had an aunt. Her feelings for her only relative in England were not of unmixed cordiality, but it would be something at least to bask36 for a little in the presence of one so entirely37 satisfied with herself. Moreover, she wanted news of her mother; and this duty was inevitable38 in any case.
She determined39 to walk the short distance to Tilney Street as she wished to post the letter herself. Still exhilarated at the writing of it, she ignored the mud of the streets, sniffed40 the old familiar grimy air, with some abatement41 of nostalgia42 for the East, and even found amusement in the windows of Bond Street.
When she came to the first pillar box and applied her letter to its yawning mouth, she paused suddenly, assailed43 by one of those subtle feminine presentiments44 which her long residence in the Orient had not taught her to despise. She withdrew the letter and walked on, smiling, but disturbed. She even passed two more boxes, but at the fourth shot the letter in. Her planets had long since made a fatalist of her, more or less. And she had adventurous45 blood.
She found Mrs. Winstone risen, groomed46, coifed, with even her smile on, and seated before her desk in the front ell of the drawing-room, answering notes and cards of invitation.
“Ah, Julia!” she said casually47, as she rose and offered her cheek. “Home again? How nice. But that coat and skirt, my dear! Quite old style.”
“Rather!” said Julia, making herself comfortable. “I took them out with me. Who’s your tailor now?”
“Oh, a new man. A duck. I’ll take you to him this afternoon. Just left one of the big houses, so his prices are quite possible—at present. Glad you’ve kept your complexion48. How is it you don’t sunburn?”
“I don’t fancy people born in the tropics ever do. Glad you haven’t grown fat.”
“I’d put on a bit if it weren’t the fashion to look like a plank49 back and front. I’ve got to the age where I’d look better filled out. ’Fraid I’m really gettin’ on. Beaux are younger every year.”
“You look quite unchanged to me,” said Julia, politely. “How’s the duke?”
“Quite fit, I believe. They’re still at Bosquith. Margaret broke her leg huntin’.”
“Have you heard from my mother lately? I have not, for several months. I had hoped to find a letter here.”
“I got her usual quarterly page the other day. She seems well enough. I’ve been to Nevis since you left. Nerves got rackety, and the doctor told me to go where I’d really be quiet. I was! But I shouldn’t wonder if I went again some day. Never looked so well in my life as when I came back. Simply vegetated50.”
“And how does my mother look? I cannot imagine her changed—but—it is a good many years!”
“She looks exactly the same. Ain’t you ever goin’ back?”
“Not until she sends for me. I can’t help feeling that she doesn’t want me,—prefers not to be actively51 reminded of the last and most tragic52 disappointment of her life. I sometimes wonder that she writes to me. Her letters are even briefer than those to you.”
“Perhaps you are right. She hasn’t forgiven you—or herself. I tried to tell her some of your charmin’ experiences with Harold,—there was so little to talk about, I thought it might be interestin’ to see how she took it,—but she wouldn’t listen!”
“Poor mother! What a life! I wonder if she would let me have Fanny?”
“Fanny?”
“Yes, I am quite alone, you know. I could do for her nicely, and it would almost be like having a child of my own.”
“I detest53 Fanny,” said Mrs. Winstone, with some show of human emotion. “She’s a minx. Jane will have her hands full three or four years from now.”
“She was such a dear little thing.”
“Well, she’s a little devil now. I don’t say she mightn’t be halfway54 decent if she’d led a life like other children, but she’s never played with a white child, and rules those pic’nies like a she-dragon—she’s not too unlike Jane in some things. Her only companion is a washed-out middle-aged55 governess, who might as well try to manage a hurricane. Jane vows56 she shall never marry. Her mistake in France seems to have fixed57 her hatred58 of man once for all, and although Fanny bores her, she’s of no two minds as to her duty toward the brat32. She is never to meet a young man of her own class, if you please, and as soon as she is old enough is to be trained in all the duties relating to the estate. Nice time Jane’ll have preventin’ Fanny meetin’ men if only one sets foot on the island; and there’s talk of rebuildin’ Bath House. She’s overcharged with vitality59, that child, she’s a will of iron, and she’s already an adept60 at deceivin’ her grandmother—no mean accomplishment61! And she’ll get worse instead of better in that ghastly life. I wouldn’t trust her across the street three years from now.”
“Oh, the poor little thing! She must be rescued. Surely if my mother doesn’t care for her she’ll be the more willing to give her up. But she must, a little. She was strict with me, but always kind and even affectionate.”
“She’s not to Fanny. She looks upon her as a plague; and with good reason, for a noisier or more messy child I never saw. But she’ll do her duty as she sees it.”
“I believe Fanny is really adorable. I shall write at once and beg for her.”
“You won’t get her, and you needn’t regret it. I’m no fool where my sex is concerned: Fanny’s the sort that’s put into the world to make trouble. What are your plans? Shall you take a flat in town?”
“It will depend.” Julia paused a moment and then hurled62 her bomb. “I’ve come back to enroll63 in the Woman’s War.”
“What?” Mrs. Winstone looked about to faint; then her expression became stony64. “Why, women are disgracin’ their sex, makin’ perfect fools of themselves! Bridgit Herbert must have gone mad. All her friends will cut her. A woman of her class fightin’ men and sleepin’ in prison! She deserved all she got, and so will you if you’ve anything to do with these tatterdermalion females shriekin’ for notoriety. That’s all they’re after. Forcin’ their way into the House of Commons! No wonder the men are disgusted. It’s a middle-class movement, anyhow. You! That’s the reason, I suppose, you don’t mind wearin’ a coat and skirt four years old.”
“Oh, but I do mind! I hope you’ll take me to your tailor this very day.”
“There! I knew you were jokin’. I should simply retire if I had a suffragette in the family. Come down to luncheon65 and then we’ll go out and shop.”
点击收听单词发音
1 relaxation | |
n.松弛,放松;休息;消遣;娱乐 | |
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2 awaken | |
vi.醒,觉醒;vt.唤醒,使觉醒,唤起,激起 | |
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3 ego | |
n.自我,自己,自尊 | |
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4 relegated | |
v.使降级( relegate的过去式和过去分词 );使降职;转移;把…归类 | |
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5 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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6 ballot | |
n.(不记名)投票,投票总数,投票权;vi.投票 | |
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7 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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8 superfluous | |
adj.过多的,过剩的,多余的 | |
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9 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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10 contemplated | |
adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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11 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
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12 wither | |
vt.使凋谢,使衰退,(用眼神气势等)使畏缩;vi.枯萎,衰退,消亡 | |
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13 veins | |
n.纹理;矿脉( vein的名词复数 );静脉;叶脉;纹理 | |
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14 huddled | |
挤在一起(huddle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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15 almighty | |
adj.全能的,万能的;很大的,很强的 | |
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16 wretches | |
n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 );可怜的人;恶棍;坏蛋 | |
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17 abominable | |
adj.可厌的,令人憎恶的 | |
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18 callousness | |
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19 dealing | |
n.经商方法,待人态度 | |
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20 applied | |
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用 | |
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21 momentous | |
adj.重要的,重大的 | |
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22 allusions | |
暗指,间接提到( allusion的名词复数 ) | |
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23 bode | |
v.预示 | |
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24 frightful | |
adj.可怕的;讨厌的 | |
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25 calamity | |
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件 | |
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26 truthful | |
adj.真实的,说实话的,诚实的 | |
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27 component | |
n.组成部分,成分,元件;adj.组成的,合成的 | |
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28 flinching | |
v.(因危险和痛苦)退缩,畏惧( flinch的现在分词 ) | |
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29 subconsciousness | |
潜意识;下意识 | |
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30 slumbers | |
睡眠,安眠( slumber的名词复数 ) | |
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31 vibration | |
n.颤动,振动;摆动 | |
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32 brat | |
n.孩子;顽童 | |
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33 dubiously | |
adv.可疑地,怀疑地 | |
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34 ardor | |
n.热情,狂热 | |
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35 embarked | |
乘船( embark的过去式和过去分词 ); 装载; 从事 | |
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36 bask | |
vt.取暖,晒太阳,沐浴于 | |
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37 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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38 inevitable | |
adj.不可避免的,必然发生的 | |
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39 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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40 sniffed | |
v.以鼻吸气,嗅,闻( sniff的过去式和过去分词 );抽鼻子(尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气);抱怨,不以为然地说 | |
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41 abatement | |
n.减(免)税,打折扣,冲销 | |
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42 nostalgia | |
n.怀乡病,留恋过去,怀旧 | |
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43 assailed | |
v.攻击( assail的过去式和过去分词 );困扰;质问;毅然应对 | |
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44 presentiments | |
n.(对不祥事物的)预感( presentiment的名词复数 ) | |
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45 adventurous | |
adj.爱冒险的;惊心动魄的,惊险的,刺激的 | |
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46 groomed | |
v.照料或梳洗(马等)( groom的过去式和过去分词 );使做好准备;训练;(给动物)擦洗 | |
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47 casually | |
adv.漠不关心地,无动于衷地,不负责任地 | |
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48 complexion | |
n.肤色;情况,局面;气质,性格 | |
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49 plank | |
n.板条,木板,政策要点,政纲条目 | |
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50 vegetated | |
v.过单调呆板的生活( vegetate的过去式和过去分词 );植物似地生长;(瘤、疣等)长大 | |
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51 actively | |
adv.积极地,勤奋地 | |
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52 tragic | |
adj.悲剧的,悲剧性的,悲惨的 | |
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53 detest | |
vt.痛恨,憎恶 | |
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54 halfway | |
adj.中途的,不彻底的,部分的;adv.半路地,在中途,在半途 | |
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55 middle-aged | |
adj.中年的 | |
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56 vows | |
誓言( vow的名词复数 ); 郑重宣布,许愿 | |
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57 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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58 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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59 vitality | |
n.活力,生命力,效力 | |
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60 adept | |
adj.老练的,精通的 | |
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61 accomplishment | |
n.完成,成就,(pl.)造诣,技能 | |
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62 hurled | |
v.猛投,用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 );大声叫骂 | |
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63 enroll | |
v.招收;登记;入学;参军;成为会员(英)enrol | |
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64 stony | |
adj.石头的,多石头的,冷酷的,无情的 | |
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65 luncheon | |
n.午宴,午餐,便宴 | |
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