“Oh— Ah— So—”
“Quite so,” said Julia, dryly. “But never mind. I have won out for a bit. He has promised to go to California at once and wait while I eliminate myself by degrees. I have promised to follow in six months. Of course I shall if I can. If I can’t—well, I must make him listen to reason again. But I hope?—”
“Of course, you can’t bolt,” said Ishbel, who was burning with sympathy for both. “But surely you can manage to let yourself out in six months. Your vice-president is an efficient woman; and then we are sure to win this session?—”
“I don’t know! If we did, of course I’d make some excuse and go at once. But—otherwise—I can’t leave them for a divorce court until I have taught them to forget me—disassociated myself from them?—”
She dropped on the edge of the bed, face and body expressing utter discouragement. Ishbel half opened her lips, then went out upon the balcony lest she break her word and tell Julia that France was dying. But a moment’s reflection convinced her that this information would only complicate2 matters at present. She thought hard for a few minutes, then ran back into the room.
“Julia!” she exclaimed, “I have an idea! Why not go to Nevis? Your mother is very old. You haven’t seen her for many years. You can give out that she is ill—or I will if you won’t. My conscience wouldn’t hurt me a bit, for old people are always ill. No doubt you’ll find her with rheumatism3, lumbago, dropsy, Bright’s disease, diabetes4, tumors, or a few other ills incident to old age. It would make just the break you need; and it’s just the time to go, for your officers can attend to everything. Also—you could stay on and on.”
Julia looked up with some return of animation5 in her heavy eyes.
“It’s not a bad idea, if I could go.”
“Of course you could, and the minute I get to London I’ll set the whole shop to work on your tropic wardrobe. You can get many things ready-made, anyhow—people are always going out to India on a moment’s notice.”
“I’ll think it over while I’m here. I’m to stay until he sails.”
“Ah!—I hate to leave you alone. Shall I stay with you?”
“I think I’d rather be alone.”
“Yes, I understand.” She sat down on the bed and put her arm about Julia’s relaxed form. “I want you to promise me that you will marry Mr. Tay, whatever happens. You’ve a right to happiness, if ever a woman had, and this is your only chance, my dear. There’s only one real man in every woman’s life, and happiness is the inalienable right of all of us. Even Bridgit was forced to admit that.”
“Oh, I intend to marry him. But when? That is the question!”
“As soon as possible. You have given four uninterrupted years to this work, and you have done great things for it. That is enough?—”
“We have all gone in—that inner band—to devote a lifetime to it if necessary.”
“Don’t you suspect that those women have an extra something in their make-up that the rest of us lack?”
“I have accomplished6 as much as any of them—”
“Quite so. And enough. Don’t you feel that the spring has gone out of you?”
“Just now, yes.”
“You’ll never work with the same spirit again, for you never can be impersonal7 again. You would feel a hypocrite, for you would always be resenting the loss of what you really want most in life. You’ve a duty to yourself, to say nothing of Mr. Tay; and you’re not going to a frivolous8 useless life—not with him! No one is indispensable to any real cause, and in ours there are too many to carry on the work without the supreme9 sacrifice on your part. Promise me, at least, that you will go at once to Nevis. It would be the beginning of the solution.”
“I’d like to go.”
“You really must want to see your mother, and your old home,” continued Ishbel, insinuatingly10. “One’s mother and one’s birthplace are the great refuges in time of trouble. You were very fond of your mother when you were a child.”
“I’m fond of her now, but she seems to have lost all affection for me.”
“Never believe it. She is a strange proud old woman, but she has always loved you. Go back to her. There is your refuge.”
“You are playing on my deepest feelings, but you are right. Nevis! When you are crushed, your own land calls you. And, as you say, I haven’t much work in me at present.”
“Then you’ll go?”
“When you get to London, telegraph me how matters stand. If it looks as if the truce11 would be a long one—yes, I’ll go. I believe I want to go more than anything else in the world—except one! Perhaps I’ll get a grip on myself down there. Perhaps I’ll find that—well, that I love this great cause best, after all.”
“Not a bit of it!” cried Ishbel, in alarm. “Don’t try to persuade yourself of anything so unnatural12 and foolish. Do you realize how few women have complete happiness offered them? I could shake you.”
Then she reflected that Nevis was a tropical island; and another scheme was forming in her agile13 brain. “Well, never mind all that. You are worn out now. It is not a matter to discuss, anyhow. Stay out of doors here, and I will prepare your wardrobe. Then you can start as soon as you return to England. I will tell Collins to pack your other things. Eric will secure your accommodations on the first steamer that sails after Mr. Tay’s. Now lie down. Or shall you come down to our last dinner?”
“No, I am not going to see him again. I’ll be glad when he has gone, and that, at least, is over. But I’ll go to Nevis, if all is quiet in England.”
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1
conspirator
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| n.阴谋者，谋叛者 | |
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2
complicate
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| vt.使复杂化，使混乱，使难懂 | |
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3
rheumatism
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| n.风湿病 | |
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4
diabetes
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| n.糖尿病 | |
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5
animation
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| n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作 | |
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6
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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7
impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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8
frivolous
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| adj.轻薄的；轻率的 | |
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9
supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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10
insinuatingly
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11
truce
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| n.休战，(争执，烦恼等的)缓和；v.以停战结束 | |
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12
unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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13
agile
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| adj.敏捷的，灵活的 | |
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