French preachers do not gesticulate. They mount a little winding5 stairway, to a round narrow pulpit, with an umbrella-like baldaquin, in which their little figures white-robed, and with black pelerines, look like Chinese dolls. While the Italian priest, in his passionate6 ardour, smites7 his chest and thunders at the congregation, his French brother pronounces a calm, well-thought out speech, whose aim is to astonish by its brilliant wit and its fine subtlety8.
On this occasion, the sermon was on the subject of the cult9 of early Christian10 martyrs11. It was, indeed, rather an historical lecture than a sermon. The preacher made a perfectly12 expressed and masterly exposition of various facts hitherto unknown to Irene, about the catacombs; the high honour in[120] which the tombs of the first Christian martyrs were held, and the respect shown even to false martyrs, i.e., to deceased Christians13, given out by their ambitious relatives as saints who had died for the Faith. These falsifications had, according to the preacher, assumed such enormous proportions, that it had been found necessary, in about the second century, to organize a special commission with the purpose of looking into the matter.
“Et comme un faux gentilhomme est exclu de l’armorial,” added the preacher, a little irrelevantly14, “ainsi ces faux martyrs furent bannis du martyrologe.”
Irene listened with interest, but wondered a little how this scientific, historical, slightly satirical lecture could touch or help the souls of the listeners. In half an hour it was over, and Irene rose to go, when suddenly the altar was brightly illuminated15, the organ began to play, and from the gallery floated the dulcet16 tones of the beautiful angel-voiced choir17. Irene had never heard such passionate romantic singing, except at[121] the opera. It awakened18 no religious inspiration in her; on the contrary, closing her eyes in complete enjoyment19, caressed20 by the softness of those delicious waves of sound, she saw before her her once-idolized singer Battestini, in the title r?le of Rubinstein’s “Demon.” The unhappy “exiled spirit” was wandering in the desert, solitary22, forsaken23, heartbroken, hopelessly in love!
“All the sorrow, all the suffering of life,” he sobbed24 passionately25 from the gallery, “is caused by solitude26. Live together in couples! Love, caress21, and comfort one another! And above all things, lose no time! Enjoy the delights of love, while you can!”
The sound of dull, stifled27 sobbing28 fell on Irene’s ear. It emanated29 from a grey-haired old man beside her, who had fallen on his knees and buried his face in his hands.
“He weeps because it is too late for him to love,” concluded Irene, as she glanced pityingly at the bent30 figure of the old man.
The service ended; the great doors opened, and the warm, golden, Roman evening rushed into the church. Irene turned[122] her steps homewards, enjoying the blue sky, and the gay good-natured Sunday crowd that filled the streets. Somewhere in the distance a military band was playing, the air was full of laughter and merriment. Pretty children, in their best frocks, and with little bare legs, were frolicking about to the evident delight of their parents, who watched them with tender caressing31 smiles.
“How glorious, how beautiful life is!” thought Irene, still under the impression of the singing. But having traversed two streets and turned into the Piazza32 Venezia, she suddenly stopped short, horror-struck.
“But they did not sing about earthly love at all!” she exclaimed to herself in complete confusion. “How could such thoughts ever be awakened by their prayers? How did it happen? How came I to fall into such an error?”
Irene was both amazed and ashamed, and decided33 to say nothing to Père Etienne about her impressions of the service. This, however, was not as easy as it seemed. The wily priest cross-examined her severely34, and[123] of course, Irene ended by admitting everything. Père Etienne frowned. He knew all about this tragic35 “Demon,” singing so passionately in the desert—he had met him twice in the corridor, on the way to Irene’s room!
“You are far too impressionable,” he observed severely, “and music evidently irritates your nerves. You will do better to attend the lectures of Monsignor Berra, in the convent of the Ursulines.”
Irene agreed, and, on the appointed day, knocked at the small door of the convent in the Via Flavia. The sister who answered her knock glanced at the pass ticket in Irene’s hand, and led her through a quadrangle with slim Gothic columns. Irene was astonished at the silence. Only a few steps away was the crowded, noisy street—yet here reigned36 the stillness of the grave. She raised the leather curtain with which the doors of churches in Rome are always covered during the winter, and found herself in a cold, damp, but very elegant chapel37, filled with ladies, young girls, and children.[124] Men were not admitted here—only two abbots were modestly hiding themselves in a corner.
The nuns38, true to their traditions, did not show themselves at all, but from somewhere on high came the sound of the organ, while the fresh young voices of the convent school children sang the prayers.
“Well,” thought Irene with a smile, “at least this singing will not lead me into temptation!”
After a short service, Monsignor Berra, a handsome, clever old man, entered the pulpit. Expressing himself in that most elegant French that was once spoken at the French Court, but that is now forgotten by all except, perhaps, the clergy39, he began a lecture on Esther.
Irene listened with pleasure to the subtle, clever, witty40 phrases of the priest, punctuated41 by long quotations42 from Racine, whose name, however, Berra did not mention, speaking of him only as “the most Christian of all poets.” But as the lecture continued, it seemed to grow strangely familiar to Irene, and suddenly[125] she remembered what association it awakened in her mind. A few days previously43, Lady Muriel had taken her to the Palazzo of the N? Embassy, to see its famous, beautiful tapestries44. One of the rooms was lined entirely45 with scenes from the story of Esther, embroidered46 after seventeenth-century designs. The figures, indeed, represented neither Persians nor Jews, but simply French Marquises and Viscounts, who had temporarily doffed47 their powdered wigs48, and had amused themselves by dressing49 up in Persian disguises.
“When I look at Esther,” the witty daughter of the Ambassador had remarked to Irene, pointing to the tapestry50, “I always wonder how long she practised and rehearsed fainting, before carrying it out so gracefully51!”
Listening to Berra, Irene had quite this same impression of an “imitation” Esther! Described by him, the primitive52, passionate Jewess became an affected53 lady of the Court of Louis XV., one of those numerous favourites who knew well how to use their coquetry in order to manage, to their perfect[126] satisfaction, their own little affairs and those of all their relatives and friends!
Towards the end of the lecture, the preacher abandoned his tone of levity54, and grew serious. In connection with Esther’s fervent55 prayer, he remarked that if our prayers remain unanswered to-day, it is only because they are so cold and proud.
“Imagine, Mesdames,” he said, “a beggar who would approach you in the street, asking for alms, in a cold, proud voice, as though he were demanding his due! Would you not be justly incensed56? Would you not turn away and rather bestow57 your bounty58 upon one who asks it humbly59 and in tears? Pray then also to God like humble60 supplicants, trusting in His mercy and goodness.”
Irene returned home, much impressed by these words. “Yes,” she thought—she was undoubtedly62 to be counted among the proud beggars! She knew her own virtues63, and she considered she had a right to demand a reward from God. How would it be if she were to change the nature of her prayers? And, under the impulse of a new hope, she[127] fell on her knees, weeping, sobbing, praying: “Lord! I am but a humble supplicant61! I resign all my rights and privileges! I ask only for mercy! Send me happiness—and if that is impossible, then give me at least rest, that spiritual rest for which my soul hungers!”
Irene prayed passionately, and with bitter tears—but all the time, reason was whispering in answer: “What are you asking? you know that you are praying for the impossible. Happiness for you can take only one form, that of love, love, love, that love of which you have been dreaming all your life! But think a little—how is that possible at your age? Love is nature’s method of continuing our race. That is why young girls are gifted with such attractions for young men. At your age, to have children is impossible—that is why beauty has been taken from you, and men pass you by with indifference64. You ask for spiritual rest, but that is only attainable65 by people who have fulfilled the duties imposed on them by nature. You were born to be a wife and a mother—Where is your husband? Where are your[128] children? Where is your family? God created the world on a foundation of logical laws, and, however passionately you may pray, He cannot change these laws.”
Irene arose in despair. Oh! that accursed helpless logic66, that kills all prayer and destroys all hope!
Time passed, and Irene’s nervousness increased day by day. Sermons, church services, her disputes with Gzhatski, all this alike irritated and enervated67 her. Père Etienne observed the poor woman with real pity, but could devise no means of comforting or helping68 her. Happening on one occasion to mention a famous convent at Assisi, which he thought Irene might some day do well to visit with the object of retreat and prayer, she caught at the idea. On the following day, strictly69 forbidding the porter at the pension to disclose her new address to anyone, and without saying good-bye to Gzhatski, she left Rome.
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1
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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edifice
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| n.宏伟的建筑物(如宫殿，教室) | |
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backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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forum
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| n.论坛，讨论会 | |
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winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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smites
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的第三人称单数 ) | |
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subtlety
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| n.微妙，敏锐，精巧；微妙之处，细微的区别 | |
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cult
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| n.异教，邪教；时尚，狂热的崇拜 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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martyrs
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| n.martyr的复数形式；烈士( martyr的名词复数 )；殉道者；殉教者；乞怜者（向人诉苦以博取同情） | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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Christians
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| n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 ) | |
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irrelevantly
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| adv.不恰当地，不合适地；不相关地 | |
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illuminated
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| adj.被照明的；受启迪的 | |
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dulcet
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| adj.悦耳的 | |
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choir
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| n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱 | |
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18
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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caressed
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| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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Forsaken
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| adj. 被遗忘的, 被抛弃的 动词forsake的过去分词 | |
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sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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sobbing
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| <主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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emanated
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| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的过去式和过去分词 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
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30
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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piazza
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| n.广场；走廊 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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reigned
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| vi.当政，统治（reign的过去式形式） | |
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chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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38
nuns
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| n.（通常指基督教的）修女， （佛教的）尼姑( nun的名词复数 ) | |
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39
clergy
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| n.[总称]牧师，神职人员 | |
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40
witty
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| adj.机智的，风趣的 | |
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41
punctuated
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| v.（在文字中）加标点符号，加标点( punctuate的过去式和过去分词 )；不时打断某事物 | |
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42
quotations
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| n.引用( quotation的名词复数 )；[商业]行情（报告）；（货物或股票的）市价；时价 | |
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43
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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44
tapestries
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| n.挂毯( tapestry的名词复数 )；绣帷，织锦v.用挂毯（或绣帷）装饰( tapestry的第三人称单数 ) | |
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45
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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46
embroidered
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| adj．绣花的 | |
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47
doffed
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| v.脱去，（尤指）脱帽( doff的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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48
wigs
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| n.假发，法官帽( wig的名词复数 ) | |
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49
dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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50
tapestry
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| n.挂毯，丰富多采的画面 | |
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51
gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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52
primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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53
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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54
levity
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| n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变 | |
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fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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56
incensed
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| 盛怒的 | |
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57
bestow
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| v.把…赠与，把…授予；花费 | |
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58
bounty
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| n.慷慨的赠予物，奖金；慷慨，大方；施与 | |
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59
humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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60
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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61
supplicant
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| adj.恳求的n.恳求者 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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63
virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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65
attainable
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| a.可达到的，可获得的 | |
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66
logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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67
enervated
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| adj.衰弱的，无力的v.使衰弱，使失去活力( enervate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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68
helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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