Almost immediately after the marriage, whatever little idyll there had been in it is shattered. In a few months new financial troubles have accumulated. Minna cannot resign herself to them so easily as he does. The less he is able to provide for the necessities of the household, the more does she feel compelled to take upon herself the duty of supplying them. This she does, to his "unbearable3 shame," by "making the most of her personal popularity." He was unable to bring her to see the matter from his point of view; and as usual, all attempts at an understanding were frustrated4, as he admits, by the bitterness and violence of his words and manner.[130] What he means by "making the most of her personal popularity" it is not easy to say. On the surface it suggests infidelity to Wagner; but a letter of his to Minna of 18th May 1859 makes this hypothesis more than doubtful. Ultimately there appears on the scene one Dietrich, a rich merchant, of whom Wagner is obviously jealous. On the 31st May 1837 Minna leaves her home while Wagner is at the theatre. She has fled to Dresden, Dietrich accompanying her a small part of the way. Wagner half-recognises that she has done no more than flee from a desperate situation, and he reproaches himself for being the cause of her despair. He finds her on the 3rd June under her parents' roof in Dresden; there she confesses that she regarded herself as badly treated by him, and thought him "blind and deaf" to the misery5 of her position.
Matters grow brighter for a time, but Dietrich turns up once more, and Minna again disappears with him. In time she writes Wagner "a most affecting letter," in which she confesses her infidelity, but pleads that she had been driven to it by despair. She has been deceived in the character of her seducer6; now, again in despair, ill and wretched, she begs Wagner's forgiveness, and assures him that she has only now become truly conscious of her love for him. He writes back, taking on himself the chief blame, and declares that there should never again be any mention between them of what happened,—a pledge, he says, which he can pride himself on having carried out to the letter.
He was unquestionably generous on this occasion;[131] no doubt his conscience told him that he himself was largely answerable for the distracted state of Minna's mind. Her flight was no romantic love affair, but the mere7 willingness to accept any outstretched hand that would help her to escape from her husband and the disillusionment the marriage with him had brought her.
His own view of their early married life is further given in two later letters to Minna. They are both instructive. We have to bear in mind, in reading them, his inveterate8 tendency to dramatise and idealise himself, and his actor's gift of plausible9 expression. Making the necessary deductions10 on this account, the story in the letters agrees with that told here. He brings passion to the marriage, Minna brings merely sympathy,—which only makes her sacrifice of herself the more remarkable11. Both letters are much too long for quotation12 here, and extracts can give only an imperfect idea of them. They must be read in full. In the first letter, written, as we have already seen, as a sort of farewell to her before going to the East with Madame Laussot, he paints the picture of their early married life as he saw it,—he all pure, unquestioning love, she possessed13 merely with an ideal of duty. "It was duty that bade you bear with me all the troubles we endured in Paris." (It apparently14 did not strike him that it must have been a remarkable sense of duty—hardly distinguishable in its effects from love—that made his wife endure such torments15 for his sake.) The cue of the more inflexible16 of the Wagner partisans17 has always been that Minna was incapable18 of appreciating her husband's genius. She may not have been able to follow the later flights of it; how many even of his musical contemporaries could, for that matter? But there is evidence enough that whatever doubts she may have had about him as a man, she had a sincere admiration19 for his gifts as a composer. After the Wesendonck catastrophe20 in 1858, when Minna was living apart from her husband in Dresden, and had no reason to be particularly well-disposed towards him, she wrote to a friend: "Lohengrin was at last given on the 6th of this month, at the Court Theatre in Dresden, for the first time. I am very fond of this opera.... I have often to refresh and strengthen myself with Richard's works, or else I could not write to him in a friendly tone. He certainly has in me an ardent21 worshipper of his earlier works. I have a feeling as if I had created them with him, for during that time I looked after him and took all the household cares on my own shoulders alone. How different it has been during the last few years of our union!"[132] And in the grievous Paris days we find her writing to Apel for help for her husband, and declaring her willingness to bear her weary burdens cheerfully in order that his genius might have a chance of coming into its own. "What to do now is at the moment a chaos23 to me; but even if I had the means of leaving Paris, I would never leave Richard in this position, for I know he has not fallen into it through levity, but the noblest and most natural aspiration24 of an artist has brought him where unfortunately every man perhaps must come without special help." And the poor woman, whose great desire in life is to live with bourgeois25 honesty, is reduced to making a piteous appeal to Apel to rescue her husband by a further loan of money. The same cry is wrung26 from her in a letter of three weeks later. "I am perhaps better fitted than Richard to plead with you to make a sacrifice on his behalf, as I speak for another rather than for myself. I can put myself in the same category as you, for I too have brought him sacrifices; I have given up my own peaceful, independent lot in order to bind27 myself to his, for it seems to be appointed that only through the most violent storms and trials will he reach his goal. Therefore I am fulfilling now a holy duty; perhaps, indeed, I sacrifice myself in writing to you again [for money, after Apel's declared unwillingness29 to give any more]. You say in your letter to Richard that it is impossible for you to do more for him than you have done. That you have given this much shows your good and noble will; and I must believe, since you assure me it is so, that without overstepping your usual expenses it is impossible for you to make a greater sacrifice for him. Let me, however, without any desire to boast, tell you what I did as a girl for my brother, who perhaps in certain relationships stood less closely to me than Richard to you. He was to have studied in Leipzig, but my parents could not support him; so I undertook to do so, at a time when, owing to the wretched state of the finances of the theatre, I had not even four groschen for my dinner. I pawned30 my ear-rings and such things—which were often indispensable to me at the theatre—sent the money to my brother for his studies, and kept for myself only three pfennigs for a bit of bread which I ate for my dinner while out walking, having pretended to the hotel people that I was invited out to dinner somewhere. Now should it be only the poor and needy31 to make sacrifices of this kind?... In Richard there is a fine talent to be rescued, that will be brought nigh to ruin, for already he has nearly lost heart, and if that happens his higher destiny is lost...."[133]
Surely here was a character of which one who was a poorer composer but a better man might have made something finer than Wagner did. In the light of these letters and the self-sacrifice they reveal, read now the sublimely32 egoistic lines in which Wagner speaks of these Parisian days in his letter to Minna of April 17, 1850:
"Since our reunion after the first disturbance33 of our married life [i.e. the Dietrich affair] it was really only duty that controlled your conduct towards me,—it was duty that made you bear with me all the miseries34 we suffered in Paris, and even in your last letter but one you only speak of duty in connection with those days,—not love. Had you had real love for me in your heart then, you would not be giving yourself credit now for enduring those miseries, but, in your firm belief in me and what I am, you would have recognised in them a necessity in which one acquiesces35 for the sake of something higher; when one thinks only of this higher thing, and is happy in the consciousness of it, he forgets lower sorrows."
This is the magnificent spirit that created Bayreuth; but it is hardly the spirit for a happy married life, or the way in which to talk about the hunger your wife has endured for you, the trinkets she pawned for you, and the lodger's boots she has cleaned for you.[134]
So the letter runs on. Wagner reviews their life in Dresden,—always, as it seems to me, pleading his case for posterity36 as much as stating it to Minna, who probably listened to it with a melancholy37 curl of the lip: how often before had she not had to listen to these panegyrics38 of himself!
Let us be fair to him also, however. The business of criticism—at any rate a generation after the actors in the drama have become dust—is to try to see the case for each of them through his own eyes. Occasionally one's anger or contempt may be stirred at some particularly unpleasant manifestation39 of character; but on the whole, as Oscar Wilde says, "Nobody with the true historical sense ever dreams of blaming Nero, or scolding Tiberius or censuring40 C?sar Borgia. These personages have become like the puppets of a play.... They have passed into the sphere of art and science, and neither art nor science knows anything of moral approval or disapproval41." It is quite true, as Wagner goes on to say, that everything he did in Dresden was the inevitable42 outcome of his artistic43 nature; without being untrue to his faith as an artist he could not have acted otherwise. With her inartistic clearness of vision, Minna saw all along whither his idealism was leading them both,—to poverty and a repetition of the distress44 of the Paris days. He admits that she gave him "bodily tending," but complains that what "a man of his inner excitability" needed most—"mental tending"—was withheld45 from him. But before we blame Minna for not fully22 understanding the Wagner of this period and seeing the future ruler of musical Europe in him, let us ask how many even of his musical associates were capable of that feat46. After the Dresden catastrophe everyone must have been of her opinion,—that he was an excitable and ill-balanced man of genius, with a fatal gift for making the worst of life, who had by his own folly47 sacrificed for ever his chance of making an honourable48 livelihood49. Nobody could judge him fairly, because no such man as he—no man so possessed with the idea that anything was permissible50 to the artist that was necessary for his self-realisation—had ever come within the ken51 of any of them. To the careful housewife, who had endured so much for him only to see all the hardly-won comfort of the last few years imperilled for ever, he could only appear an impossible wastrel52 to whom life could never teach prudence53. How deep was her anger with him is shown by her long-continued refusal to go to him after his flight. She wrote to him that "she would not join him till he could support her abroad by his earnings54." Evidently she had not his gift for living complacently55 on charity or debts. It is impossible not to be moved by this letter of Wagner's, however conscious we may be that it is merely a dexterous56 piece of special pleading. The situation between them had evidently become hopeless, yet neither realised that it was so. Minna's hope was that he would again become the Wagner of the early Dresden days, working patiently to provide an honourable livelihood for them both. He had done with all this; henceforth nothing existed for him but his dreams. We can now see that as an artist, he was, as usual, right; but what wife, seeing her husband cease from musical composition for six years and apparently waste his time in writing argumentative books that few people read and fewer still understood, would have judged him and their position otherwise than Minna did? It was his great grievance57 against her at this time that she insisted on his doing all he could to get a contract for a new opera for Paris[135]—a project that became every day more distasteful to him. "You stand before me implacable," he cries bitterly: "you seek honour where I almost see disgrace, and feel shame at what is to me most welcome." He apparently could not realise that to Minna the thought of living on other women's bounty58 and perpetually staving off hungry creditors59 was as horrible as the idea of sinking back into the filth60 of the ordinary operatic world was to him.
The same note of eager self-justification61 is sounded again in the interminable letter of 18th May 1859. There is the same inability to see the problem from any angle but his own. He once more admits that Minna has suffered greatly for him, especially in those ghastly years in Paris. But she should regard her sufferings as part of the game. He was a man of genius, who had to follow his star or die. If her path was not a happy one, she should regard it as "a necessity in which one acquiesces for the sake of something higher."
Let us look a moment at this second letter, in which the clever actor is even more apparent. Minna has taken offence at the passage in Eine Mittheilung an meine Freunde relating to their marriage; and he writes very sensibly and tactfully on this point, doing all he can to soothe63 the poor woman, who was by this time hopelessly ill both in body and in mind, and, as even her enemies admit, not to be held answerable for the suspicions by which she was obsessed64. He discourses65 with his customary wordiness upon the nature of love; like Wotan and some of his other characters, he could never stop talking when once he had been wound up on the subject of his wrongs. Like Wotan, Lohengrin and the rest of them, he always has a grievance, and is always misunderstood; hence the need for such lengthy66 explanations. But there is a touch of meanness in his unnecessary reminder67 to Minna of her flight from him in their early married days.[136] In Mein Leben he is candid68 enough, as we have seen, to admit that he was chiefly to blame for this lapse69 on her part.[137] His thesis now is that she did not love him then, or she would not have run away; whereas although he had behaved badly to her, it was all out of the greatness of his love! The sophistry70 of it all is too unconscious, too na?ve, for us to do anything but smile at it; but we may doubt whether Minna, with her keen eye for facts and her impenetrability to words, admired the performance as much as he did.
Then he puts into her mouth a long imaginary description of her own conduct and psychology71, and the sort of plea he was always making for himself and desirous that she should make for him. He reminds us irresistibly72 of his own Wotan:
"Wouldst thou, oh wife,
In the castle confine me,
As god this boon73 thou must grant me,—
Though in the fortress74 fettered75,
Yet to my rule the whole world I must win.
Ranging and changing
All love who live;
This sport I cannot desist from."
So says the self-justifying god to his wife in the Rhinegold. And again in the Valkyrie:
"Nought77 learnedst thou
When I would teach thee,
What ne'er thou canst comprehend
Till clear in daylight 'tis shown.
Only custom canst thou understand;
But what ne'er yet befell
Thereon fixed78 is my thought."
So would Wagner have poor Fricka-Minna regard him. He obligingly writes out for her at length the confession79 he would like to hear her recite:
"With Richard's individuality, that on the one hand qualified81 him for the production of such important works and in the end for such unusual successes, it was inevitable, on the other hand, that heavy shadows should thereby82 fall on our life. I am not thinking of the constant outward care and trouble, although they taxed my vital powers most severely83; it could not be otherwise than that his original artistic nature, the peculiarly emotional and wildly moving quality of his works, should keep him in the same state of excitation as they created in others,—inevitably84 causing disturbances85 of my own repose86. An artist so significant as Richard, one perpetually at work with such passionate87 artistic tools, retains all his life a certain youthfulness, which must no doubt often cause anxiety to the wife at his side; and whereas this wife remains88 close to him in the accustomed narrow circle of the household as an old possession, which one often does not notice any longer just because one is so sure of it and so intimate with it from of old, from without there may present themselves new figures, towards the effect of which the anxious wife will probably have to show forbearance."[138]
Wotan, in fact, was to do all the ranging and changing. For Fricka the cue was to be forbearance. Incidentally I may observe that this was also to be the cue for the masculine heads of the households,—those of Bülow, Wesendonck, and Laussot for example,—in which Wotan was to indulge freely in the sport he could not desist from.
It was a simple and lucid89 philosophy of married life, granting the premisses. Minna's misfortune was to dispute the premisses. The egregious91 self-satisfaction of this letter, and its pose of the wronged but forgiving husband, apparently provoked her not only into reminding him of some of his own peccadilloes92, but into letting him see, for the first time, that she knew a little more of his escapades than he had imagined; for it is in his next letter, dated 30th May, that we find him raising his eyebrows93 in astonishment94 at the news that she had known all along of the Laussot episode of nine years ago.[139] He, good man, was no doubt honestly surprised at Minna's inability to see him just as he saw himself, idealised by a vivid imagination. No man ever had a higher ideal of duty—the duty of other people towards himself. Nothing is more remarkable, among the many remarkable features of Mein Leben, than the coolness of his references to the services that various people had done him, or the total omission95, in some cases, of any such reference.[140] He took all sacrifices as a matter of course; he would have liked a world full of trusting Elsas and faithful Kurvenals. "You must let me have peace," he writes to Minna;[141] "take me as I am, and let me do what I have joy and pleasure in: don't worry me into anything I cannot and will not do: rest assured, on the other hand, that I shall always be doing something that somehow gives joy to others and contents my inner sense." This is apparently a justification of his refusal to write an opera for Paris, or to do anything else that went against his artistic conscience. For his determination not to be shaken from his moral and artistic centre in such matters as this no one will blame him; the difficulty only began when he imported the doctrine96 of his own infallibility into domestic matters. Even his own Elsa, lymphatic person as she was, had in the end to admit that there was a limit to her capacity for trusting her husband blindly. Minna's capacity for that kind of blind devotion was less than Elsa's; yet nothing short of blind devotion would satisfy him. One hardly knows which is the more magnificent in some of his letters—his disregard for himself where his work and his destiny were concerned, or his disregard for the humble97 being whom fate had flung upon his hearth98. "See, poor wife," he writes from Venice on 1st September 1858, "your destiny—which surely ought to have been made easier and more uniform for you—was knit up with the destiny of a man who, greatly though he longed for quiet happiness, yet in every respect was appointed to so extraordinary a development that at last he believes himself bound to renounce99 even his wishes simply to fulfil his life-task. All I now seek is inward self-collection, in order to be able to complete my works: fame has no longer any effect on me: I even despair of succeeding in producing my works [the Ring]: nothing—nothing—but work, the act of creation itself, keeps me alive. It is natural that so extraordinary a destiny should also inspire extraordinary sympathy; there are many people who have turned to me with deep and ardent feelings. If you must suffer for it, those sufferings will some day be accounted to you also, and your reward must be—my success, the success of my works."[142]
Who shall say that the artist's faith in himself was not a noble and a holy thing? The misfortune was that this faith had too often to be nourished in ways that the world cannot help calling ignoble100. He saw himself as we see him now, with the eyes of the historical sense; but people who have no prospect101 of living in history, and for whom the present is the only life they know, may be excused for feeling that the ideals of other people are too dearly bought at the cost of their own poverty and shame. When all is said, it remains true that Minna would gladly have borne privation for him, as she did in Paris, in order to further his genius, but that she could not reconcile herself to her husband's easy-going attitude with regard to other people's money and other people's wives. It is one thing to love your neighbour as yourself; it is another thing to love your neighbour's wife as your own—or even more.
The toughness of the problem that fate had given her to solve is shown by Wagner's letters immediately after his flight from Dresden. The seven years in that town must have been, until near the end, the happiest of Minna's life. Here at last, it seemed, was a haven102: her husband was secure for life in a Court Kapellmeister's post, and he had already made an enviable reputation as composer and conductor. She was wiser than he in many of the simpler things of life, and clearly foresaw the ruin to which his political activities were leading him. The unrelenting harshness of her attitude towards him during his flight, of which he makes so much in his letters and Mein Leben, was no doubt the result of sheer despair at the extent of his folly, and anger at the grown-up child who could apparently never be brought to listen to reason. A letter of Minna's, published for the first time by Julius Kapp, throws an interesting light on their relations at this time.
"You will know what Wagner was when I married him,—a forlorn, poor, unknown, unemployed103 musical director. As regards his intellectual success, I am happy to think that all his works were created only in my company: and that I understood him he proved to me by the fact that to me alone he first read or played all his poems, all his compositions, scene by scene as he sketched104 them and discussed them with me. Only I could not follow his political doings. With my simple understanding I saw that no good would come to him out of them, and the more he departed from the path of art, the deeper became the sorrowful feeling in me that he was breaking away from me also."[143]
His own view of their Dresden life may profitably be placed side by side with this of Minna's:
"After my appointment in Dresden your growing discord105 with me came just at the time and in the degree as, forgetting my personal advantage, I could no longer, in the interest of my art and of my independence as man and artist, accommodate myself to the deplorable managerial relations of that art-establishment, and consequently revolted against them." Anyone who loved him, he says, would have seen what was going on within his soul and would have sympathised with him; but "when I came home profoundly dispirited and agitated106 by some new annoyance107, some new mortification108, some new disappointment, what did my wife give me in lieu of consolation109 and uplifting sympathy? Reproaches, fresh reproaches, nothing but reproaches! Fond of home as I was, I remained in the house in spite of it all; but at last no longer able to express myself, to communicate what was in me and be strengthened, but to keep silence, let my grief eat into me, in order—to be alone!"
His makes, no doubt, the finer literary record now; but who would have said in 1848 that Minna was the more in the wrong?
How hopelessly immiscible were their ideals of living becomes fully apparent a very little while after their reunion in Switzerland in 1849. Incapable of his imaginative flights and his belief in the future, she could see nothing but the misery and the humiliations of the actual day. For him there was his star; with his eyes on that he could forget his daily cares, or leave them to others; some raven110 or other, he knew, would feed him. Nothing is more remarkable in his letters of this period than the paradoxical sense of relief he felt at being, so far as the everyday world was concerned, a ruined man. "Never in all my life have I felt so happy and gay as in the summer of 1849 in glorious Switzerland.... I know that with the best I can do—and must do, since I can—I cannot earn money, but only love, and that from those who understand me, if they want to. So I am without a care for money either, since I know that love is caring for me. So let good Ottilie [his sister] and all the rest of you be easy in your mind about me and take it that a great piece of luck—aye, the greatest that could befall a man—has come to me."[144]
We can well believe him. On the whole his position was probably not so distressing111 as it is generally held to have been. He was not rich, of course; but he seemed to be assured of a livelihood, he had ample leisure for thought and for quiet self-development[145] without the necessity of wasting himself in inferior work—which is always the greatest misery to artists who have to reconcile the claims of art with those of life—and he was able to get a good deal of enjoyment112 out of travel. On one point he was quite firm; he had no intention of ever again competing in the arena113 with other men for a living. It was the world's duty to provide him with food and shelter in return for his work; how, as he pathetically put it, could he give the world the best that was in him if he had to waste his energies on futile114 things? Thousands of other men, it is needless to say, have felt the same difficulty; probably nine brain workers out of ten have to squander115 two-thirds of their best mental powers on futilities in order to win a little time in which to exercise the other third in the way they like. One thinks of George Meredith, for example, feeling his bent116 to be mainly towards poetry, but compelled to boil the pot with novels, and to purchase the pot itself by "reading" for a publisher. But Wagner, in this as in every other relation of his life, was nothing if not thorough; it was the secret, indeed, of all his successes and all his failures. Other men might truckle to expediency117, but not he. His experiences in various opera houses had taught him how difficult it was for a man like himself to reconcile his artistic ideals with the facts of the theatre. There has probably never yet been a Kapellmeister with a soul who has not felt precisely118 as Wagner did;[146] but he makes the best of a bad bargain, is content with fifteen shillings if he cannot get a sovereign, and uses all the tact62 he can command to smooth his relations with his colleagues and to bend them to his will without their suspecting their own compliance119. Wagner had no tact where his susceptibilities were hurt, and compromise was always hateful to him. Like the singer who was out of tune90 with the orchestra and expected it to tune to him when he gave it his A, Wagner blandly120 took his own course in everything and called upon the world to follow him. The call was often heroic and the response magnificent, as in the case of Bayreuth. But occasionally the call was unreasonable121, and the singer and someone in the orchestra inevitably came to blows.
We see, in a letter of Minna's of about 1851,[147] the clashing of his ideas and Minna's on the subject of whether it is more honourable to earn your living by work you do not like or to live—and compel your wife to live—on charity. "The director [of the Zürich theatre] had offered Wagner 200 francs a month if he would accept the post of first Kapellmeister in the theatre; but he thinks it beneath his dignity to earn money, and prefers to live on charity or on borrowed money. You can understand, with one of my way of thinking, with what disesteem—to say nothing of what has already happened—I, as no doubt any other woman, must regard this. What will become of me—of us—on such principles as these? I often cry my eyes out, and am quite worn out with the worry my husband causes me."[148]
It is customary to censure122 Minna solemnly for not having a better insight into the genius of her husband, and for not having been willing to sacrifice the last vestige123 of her happiness and self-respect in order that he might be undisturbed in his inner world. It must be remembered, however, that in time a great many of the friends who had been most generous to him came round to something like Minna's point of view. Everyone knows the letter of 25th June 1870 to Frau Wille, in which Wagner speaks of his happiness in his retreat with Cosima who, he said, had showed that he "could be helped," and "that the axiom of so many of my friends, that I could not be helped, was false."[149] The last phrase hints at earlier disagreements between him and his friends on the question of finance. In Mein Leben he tells us how coldly some of them received his entreaties124 for help in the desperate days before King Ludwig came to his rescue. Perhaps they had not met with the gratitude125 they would have liked. When Madame Kalergis, in 1860, gives him 10,000 francs to wipe off the debt he had incurred126 in connection with his concerts in Paris, his only comment is, "I felt as if something were merely being fulfilled that I had always been entitled to expect."[150] It is hardly to be wondered at that ideas on finance so expansive as these did not always appeal with the same force to those who were expected to find the money as they did to him. Even the Wesendoncks declined to help him in his dire1 need in 1863.[151] Later on a request to Otto Wesendonck to harbour him met with a point-blank refusal,[152] though Wesendonck knew that Wagner was fleeing from his Vienna creditors, and that he was in serious danger from the law. Hornstein, as we have seen, refused to open his purse to him; other people repulsed127 him still more roughly. At his wits' end to raise money, he thinks of divorcing Minna in order to marry some rich woman. "As everything seemed to me expedient128 and nothing inexpedient, I actually wrote to my sister Luise Brockhaus, asking her if she could not have a sensible talk with Minna, and persuade her to be satisfied in future with her yearly allowance, without making any claims on my person. In her reply she advised me, with deep feeling, first of all to think of establishing my good name and of obtaining undisputed credit by a new work, which would probably help me without my taking any eccentric step; in any case I should do well to apply for the vacant Kapellmeister's post in Darmstadt."[153]
Ultimately (23rd March 1864) he fled to Frau Wille at Mariafeld (Zürich). Wille himself had, as Wagner admits, become cool in his friendship. But at that time the master of the house was away in Constantinople. When he returned he was "uneasy" at the guest who had settled there in his absence. "He probably feared that I might count on his help also," says Wagner. He might well be alarmed, for Wagner, untaught by experience, was as convinced as ever that it was the world's duty to provide for him, and as resolved as ever not to take up any work of the ordinary kind. Frau Wille has given us an interesting picture of him brooding over his wrongs and crying in the face of heaven against mankind:
"I had got together a number of books out of my husband's library and placed them in Wagner's room—works on Napoleon, on Frederick the Great, works of the German mystics, who were of significance to Wagner, while he had turned his back on Feuerbach and Strauss as dry men of learning. What I could I gave him in happy impartiality129 for the best: but cheer him up I could not. I still see him sitting in his chair at my window (it is still there), and impatiently listening as I spoke130 to him one evening of the splendour of the future that would yet certainly be his.... Wagner said: 'What is the use of talking about the future, when my manuscripts are locked up in a drawer? Who can produce the art-work that I, only I, helped by good d?mons, can bring into being, that all the world may know so it is, so has the master conceived and willed his work?' He walked agitatedly131 up and down the room. Suddenly he stopped in front of me and said, 'I am differently organised; I have excitable nerves; I must have beauty, brilliancy, light! The world ought to give me what I need. I cannot live in a wretched organist's post like your Meister Bach. Is it an unheard-of demand if I hold that the little luxury I like is my due? I, who am procuring132 enjoyment to the world and to thousands?"[154]
It was this unshakable belief in the rightness of whatever ministered to his own comfort for the time being that accounts in large measure for the hopelessness of the misunderstanding between him and Minna on the question of Frau Wesendonck. As this romantic episode had the deepest bearing on his life and his art, and his attitude during it gives us the best possible illustration of the dual80 nature of the man, it is worth while studying it with some closeness.
As we have seen—as he himself indeed admits—he was always extremely susceptible133 to the charm of women. In October 1852 he writes from Zürich to his niece Franziska: "I cannot endure men, and would like to have nothing to do with them. No one is worth a toss unless he can really be loved by a woman. The stupid asses134 can't even love now: if they have any talent they tipple135, or as a rule are satisfied with cigar-smoking. Only on the women do I count for anything now. If there were only more of them!"[155] His ideal of women then and before and for many a day after was the submissive, unquestioning Elsa. "Lohengrin," he says, "sought the woman who should believe in him; who should not ask who he was and whence he came, but love him as he was, and because he was just as he appeared to himself.[156] He sought the woman to whom there was no necessity to explain or justify76 himself, but who would love him unconditionally136."[157] In another place he gives us his notion of the ideal woman in still more explicit137 terms, this time à propos of Senta. "Like Ahasuerus, he [the Dutchman] longs for death to end his sufferings; but this redemption, denied to the undying Jew, the Dutchman can win through—a woman, who shall sacrifice herself for him for love. The longing138 for death drives him on to seek this woman; but she is no longer the home-tending Penelope, wooed by Odysseus of old, but woman in general (das Weib überhaupt)—the as yet non-existent, the longed-for, the dreamt-of, infinitely139 womanly woman,—in a word, the Woman of the Future."[158] This was the kind of devotion he expected from men and women. I have already pointed28 out how, in Mein Leben, it is this or that person's "boundless140 devotion" to him that stirs his admiration. It is thus he writes of Cosima in a letter to Clara Wolfram of 1870; she had shown him "an unexampled devotion and self-sacrifice."
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1
dire
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| adj.可怕的，悲惨的，阴惨的，极端的 | |
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levity
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| n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变 | |
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unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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4
frustrated
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| adj.挫败的，失意的，泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的过去式和过去分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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seducer
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| n.诱惑者,骗子,玩弄女性的人 | |
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7
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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inveterate
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| adj.积习已深的，根深蒂固的 | |
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plausible
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| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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deductions
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| 扣除( deduction的名词复数 )； 结论； 扣除的量； 推演 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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quotation
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| n.引文，引语，语录；报价，牌价，行情 | |
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13
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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torments
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| （肉体或精神上的）折磨，痛苦( torment的名词复数 )； 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
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inflexible
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| adj.不可改变的，不受影响的，不屈服的 | |
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partisans
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| 游击队员( partisan的名词复数 )； 党人； 党羽； 帮伙 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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catastrophe
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| n.大灾难，大祸 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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aspiration
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| n.志向，志趣抱负；渴望；(语)送气音；吸出 | |
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bourgeois
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| adj./n.追求物质享受的(人)；中产阶级分子 | |
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wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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27
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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unwillingness
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| n. 不愿意，不情愿 | |
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pawned
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| v.典当，抵押( pawn的过去式和过去分词 )；以（某事物）担保 | |
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needy
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| adj.贫穷的，贫困的，生活艰苦的 | |
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sublimely
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| 高尚地，卓越地 | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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miseries
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| n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 )；痛苦的事；穷困；常发牢骚的人 | |
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acquiesces
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| v.默认，默许( acquiesce的第三人称单数 ) | |
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posterity
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| n.后裔，子孙，后代 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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38
panegyrics
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| n.赞美( panegyric的名词复数 )；称颂；颂词；颂扬的演讲或文章 | |
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manifestation
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| n.表现形式；表明；现象 | |
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40
censuring
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| v.指责，非难，谴责( censure的现在分词 ) | |
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41
disapproval
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| n.反对，不赞成 | |
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42
inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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43
artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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44
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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45
withheld
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| withhold过去式及过去分词 | |
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46
feat
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| n.功绩；武艺，技艺；adj.灵巧的，漂亮的，合适的 | |
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47
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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48
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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49
livelihood
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| n.生计，谋生之道 | |
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50
permissible
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| adj.可允许的，许可的 | |
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51
ken
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| n.视野，知识领域 | |
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52
wastrel
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| n.浪费者；废物 | |
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53
prudence
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| n.谨慎，精明，节俭 | |
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54
earnings
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| n.工资收人；利润，利益，所得 | |
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55
complacently
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| adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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56
dexterous
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| adj.灵敏的；灵巧的 | |
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57
grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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58
bounty
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| n.慷慨的赠予物，奖金；慷慨，大方；施与 | |
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59
creditors
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| n.债权人，债主( creditor的名词复数 ) | |
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60
filth
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| n.肮脏，污物，污秽；淫猥 | |
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61
justification
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| n.正当的理由；辩解的理由 | |
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62
tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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63
soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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obsessed
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| adj.心神不宁的,鬼迷心窍的,沉迷的 | |
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65
discourses
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| 论文( discourse的名词复数 )； 演说； 讲道； 话语 | |
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66
lengthy
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| adj.漫长的，冗长的 | |
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67
reminder
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| n.提醒物，纪念品；暗示，提示 | |
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68
candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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69
lapse
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| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
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70
sophistry
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| n.诡辩 | |
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71
psychology
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| n.心理，心理学，心理状态 | |
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72
irresistibly
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| adv.无法抵抗地，不能自持地；极为诱惑人地 | |
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73
boon
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| n.恩赐，恩物，恩惠 | |
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74
fortress
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| n.堡垒，防御工事 | |
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75
fettered
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| v.给…上脚镣，束缚( fetter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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76
justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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nought
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| n.／adj.无，零 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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dual
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| adj.双的；二重的，二元的 | |
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81
qualified
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| adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的 | |
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82
thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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83
severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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84
inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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85
disturbances
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| n.骚乱( disturbance的名词复数 )；打扰；困扰；障碍 | |
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86
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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87
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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lucid
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| adj.明白易懂的，清晰的，头脑清楚的 | |
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tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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egregious
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| adj.非常的，过分的 | |
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92
peccadilloes
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| n.轻罪，小过失( peccadillo的名词复数 ) | |
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93
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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omission
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| n.省略，删节；遗漏或省略的事物，冗长 | |
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doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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97
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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hearth
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| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
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renounce
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| v.放弃；拒绝承认，宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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100
ignoble
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| adj.不光彩的，卑鄙的；可耻的 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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haven
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| n.安全的地方，避难所，庇护所 | |
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unemployed
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| adj.失业的，没有工作的；未动用的，闲置的 | |
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sketched
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| v.草拟（sketch的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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105
discord
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| n.不和，意见不合，争论，（音乐）不和谐 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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mortification
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| n.耻辱，屈辱 | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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110
raven
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| n.渡鸟，乌鸦；adj.乌亮的 | |
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distressing
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| a.使人痛苦的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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113
arena
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| n.竞技场，运动场所；竞争场所，舞台 | |
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114
futile
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| adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的 | |
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115
squander
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| v.浪费，挥霍 | |
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116
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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117
expediency
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| n.适宜；方便；合算；利己 | |
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118
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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compliance
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| n.顺从；服从；附和；屈从 | |
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blandly
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| adv.温和地，殷勤地 | |
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unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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censure
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| v./n.责备；非难；责难 | |
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vestige
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| n.痕迹，遗迹，残余 | |
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entreaties
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| n.恳求，乞求( entreaty的名词复数 ) | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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incurred
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| [医]招致的，遭受的； incur的过去式 | |
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repulsed
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| v.击退( repulse的过去式和过去分词 )；驳斥；拒绝 | |
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expedient
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| adj.有用的，有利的；n.紧急的办法，权宜之计 | |
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129
impartiality
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| n. 公平, 无私, 不偏 | |
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130
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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agitatedly
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| 动摇，兴奋； 勃然 | |
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procuring
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的现在分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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134
asses
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| n. 驴，愚蠢的人，臀部 adv. (常用作后置)用于贬损或骂人 | |
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135
tipple
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| n.常喝的酒；v.不断喝，饮烈酒 | |
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unconditionally
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| adv.无条件地 | |
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explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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boundless
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| adj.无限的；无边无际的；巨大的 | |
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