Chapter XIV

She shut herself up; she saw little of her children; she told her friends that she was ill. She was at home to no visitors. She guessed intuitively that people in their circles were speaking of Quaerts and herself. Life hung dull about her in a closely-woven web of tiresome¹, tedious meshes²; and she remained motionless in her corner, to avoid entangling³ herself in those meshes. Once Jules forced his way to her; he went upstairs, in spite of Greta’s protests; he sought her in the little boudoir and, not finding her, went resolutely⁴ to her bedroom. He knocked without receiving a reply, but entered nevertheless. The room was half in darkness, for she kept the blinds lowered; in the shadow of the canopy⁵ which rose above the bedstead, [226]with its hangings of old-blue brocade, Cecile lay sleeping. Her tea-gown was open over her breast; the train trailed from the bed and lay creased⁶ over the carpet; her hair spread loosely over the pillows; one of her hands was clutching nervously⁷ at the tulle bed-curtains.

“Auntie!” cried Jules. “Auntie!”

He shook her by the arm; and she woke heavily, with heavy, blue-girt eyes. She did not recognize him at first and thought that he was little Dolf.

“It’s me, Auntie; Jules....”

She knew him now, asked how he came there, what was the matter and if he did not know that she was ill?

“I knew, but I wanted to speak to you. I came to speak to you about ... him....”

“Him?”

“About Taco. He asked me to tell you. He couldn’t write to you, he said. [227]He is going on a long journey with his friend from Brussels; he will be away a long time and he would like ... he would like to take leave of you.”

“To take leave?”

“Yes; and he told me to ask you if he might see you once more?”

She had half-raised herself and was looking at Jules with a vacant air. In an instant the memory ran through her brain of the long look which Jules had directed on her so strangely when she saw Quaerts for the first time and spoke⁸ to him coolly and distantly:

“Have you many relations in The Hague?... You have no occupation, I believe?... Sport?... Oh!...”

Then came the memory of Jules playing the piano, of Rubinstein’s Romance, of the ecstasy⁹ of his fantasia: the glittering rainbows and the souls turning to angels. [228]

“To take leave?” she repeated.

Jules nodded:

“Yes, Auntie, he is going away for ever so long.”

He could have shed tears himself and there were tears in his voice, but he would not give way and his eyes merely grew moist.

“He told me to ask you,” he repeated, with difficulty.

“If he can come and take leave?”

“Yes, Auntie.”

She made no reply, but lay staring before her. An emptiness began to stretch before her, in endless vistas¹⁰. It was a shadowy image of their evening of rapture¹¹, but no light beamed out of the shadow.

“Emptiness!” she muttered through her closed lips.

“What, Auntie?” [229]

She would have liked to ask Jules whether he was still, as formerly¹², afraid of the emptiness within himself; but a gentleness of pity, a soft feeling, a sweetening of the bitterness which filled her being, stayed her.

“To take leave?” she repeated, with a smile of melancholy¹³; and the big tears fell heavily, drop by drop, upon her fingers wrung¹⁴ together.

“Yes, Auntie....”

He could no longer restrain himself: a single sob¹⁵ convulsed his throat, but he gave a cough to conceal¹⁶ it. Cecile threw her arm round his neck:

“You are very fond of ... Taco, are you not?” she asked; and it struck her that this was the first time that she had pronounced the name, for she had never called Quaerts by it: she had never called him by any name. [230]

He did not answer at first, but nestled in her arm, in her embrace, and began to cry:

“Yes, I can’t tell you how fond I am of him,” he said.

“I know,” she said; and she thought of the rainbows and the angels: he had played as out of her own soul.

“May he come?” asked Jules, loyally remembering his instructions.

“Yes.”

“He asks if he might come this evening?”

“Very well.”

“Auntie, he is going away, because of ... because of ...”

“Because of what, Jules?”

“Because of you: because you don’t like him and will not marry him! Mamma says so....”

She made no reply; she lay sobbing¹⁷, with her head against Jules’ head. [231]

“Is it true, Auntie? No, it is not true, is it?...”

“No.”

“Why then?”

She raised herself suddenly, conquering herself, and looked at him fixedly¹⁸:

“He is going away because he must, Jules. I cannot tell you why. But what he does is right. All that he does is right.”

The boy looked at her, motionless, with large wet eyes, full of astonishment¹⁹:

“Is right?” he repeated.

“Yes. He is better than any one of us. If you go on loving him, Jules, it will bring you happiness, even if ... if you never see him again.”

“Do you think so?” he asked. “Does he bring happiness? Even in that case?...”

“Even in that case.”

She listened to her own words as she [232]spoke: it was to her as if another were speaking, another who consoled not only Jules but herself as well and who would perhaps give her the strength to take leave of Taco in the manner which would be best, without despair.

1 tiresome   

adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的

参考例句：

• His doubts and hesitations were tiresome.他的疑惑和犹豫令人厌烦。
• He was tiresome in contending for the value of his own labors.他老为他自己劳动的价值而争强斗胜，令人生厌。

2 meshes   

网孔( mesh的名词复数 )； 网状物； 陷阱； 困境

参考例句：

• The net of Heaven has large meshes, but it lets nothing through. 天网恢恢，疏而不漏。
• This net has half-inch meshes. 这个网有半英寸见方的网孔。

3 entangling   

v.使某人（某物/自己）缠绕，纠缠于（某物中），使某人（自己）陷入（困难或复杂的环境中）( entangle的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• We increasingly want an end to entangling alliances. 我们越来越想终止那些纠缠不清的盟约。 来自辞典例句
• What a thing it was to have her love him, even if it be entangling! 得到她的爱是件多么美妙的事，即使为此陷入纠葛中去也值得！ 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

4 resolutely   

adj.坚决地，果断地

参考例句：

• He resolutely adhered to what he had said at the meeting. 他坚持他在会上所说的话。
• He grumbles at his lot instead of resolutely facing his difficulties. 他不是果敢地去面对困难，而是抱怨自己运气不佳。

5 canopy   

n.天篷，遮篷

参考例句：

• The trees formed a leafy canopy above their heads.树木在他们头顶上空形成了一个枝叶茂盛的遮篷。
• They lay down under a canopy of stars.他们躺在繁星点点的天幕下。

6 creased   

（使…）起折痕，弄皱( crease的过去式和过去分词 )； （皮肤）皱起，使起皱纹； 皱皱巴巴

参考例句：

• You've creased my newspaper. 你把我的报纸弄皱了。
• The bullet merely creased his shoulder. 子弹只不过擦破了他肩部的皮肤。

7 nervously   

adv.神情激动地，不安地

参考例句：

• He bit his lip nervously,trying not to cry.他紧张地咬着唇，努力忍着不哭出来。
• He paced nervously up and down on the platform.他在站台上情绪不安地走来走去。

8 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

9 ecstasy   

n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷

参考例句：

• He listened to the music with ecstasy.他听音乐听得入了神。
• Speechless with ecstasy,the little boys gazed at the toys.小孩注视着那些玩具，高兴得说不出话来。

10 vistas   

长条形景色( vista的名词复数 )； 回顾； 展望； （未来可能发生的）一系列情景

参考例句：

• This new job could open up whole new vistas for her. 这项新工作可能给她开辟全新的前景。
• The picture is small but It'shows broad vistas. 画幅虽然不大，所表现的天地却十分广阔。

11 rapture   

n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜

参考例句：

• His speech was received with rapture by his supporters.他的演说受到支持者们的热烈欢迎。
• In the midst of his rapture,he was interrupted by his father.他正欢天喜地，被他父亲打断了。

12 formerly   

adv.从前，以前

参考例句：

• We now enjoy these comforts of which formerly we had only heard.我们现在享受到了过去只是听说过的那些舒适条件。
• This boat was formerly used on the rivers of China.这船从前航行在中国内河里。

13 melancholy   

n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的

参考例句：

• All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
• He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过，他感到很郁闷。

14 wrung   

绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水）

参考例句：

• He has wrung the words from their true meaning. 他曲解这些字的真正意义。
• He wrung my hand warmly. 他热情地紧握我的手。

15 sob   

n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣

参考例句：

• The child started to sob when he couldn't find his mother.孩子因找不到他妈妈哭了起来。
• The girl didn't answer,but continued to sob with her head on the table.那个女孩不回答，也不抬起头来。她只顾低声哭着。

16 conceal   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽

参考例句：

• He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方，他只好隐瞒身份。
• He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。

17 sobbing   

<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的

参考例句：

• I heard a child sobbing loudly. 我听见有个孩子在呜呜地哭。
• Her eyes were red with recent sobbing. 她的眼睛因刚哭过而发红。

18 fixedly   

adv.固定地；不屈地，坚定不移地

参考例句：

• He stared fixedly at the woman in white. 他一直凝视着那穿白衣裳的女人。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The great majority were silent and still, looking fixedly at the ground. 绝大部分的人都不闹不动，呆呆地望着地面。 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

19 astonishment   

n.惊奇，惊异

参考例句：

• They heard him give a loud shout of astonishment.他们听见他惊奇地大叫一声。
• I was filled with astonishment at her strange action.我对她的奇怪举动不胜惊异。