‘Did not you once speak of a farm, Horace?’ she said with a hesitation12 that was almost timidity, when he had himself burst forth13 into an angry exclamation14 about the dullness of the place.
‘I hate this country,’ he said, with impatience15; ‘but if you have made {265}up your mind you won’t go to America——’
‘Indeed I never said so.’
‘No, of course you never did; but it comes to the same thing. And by the way, I bought some of Smeaton’s stock.’ he said; ‘I thought I might have to wait and kick my heels at your door, Isabel, longer than you made me do. You were kinder than I expected. I thought I might have had to wait, and that I had better be doing something. I had forgotten all about that.’
He thought he might have had to wait! The tone in which he said it was not unkind, but there was in it that note of incipient16 scorn which a woman’s ear is so fine to catch. She had yielded sooner than he expected. She had been an easy conquest after all his wrongs to her! The arrow went through and through Isabel’s heart. Sudden shame and humiliation17 so penetrated18 her that all power of speech was gone for the moment. No wonder her friends, the country-side, all who knew her, should disapprove19 and look on her coldly—when even he——
‘Was it a farm in our own parish you thought of?’ she cried, faltering20, after a pause.
‘I thought of offering for Smeaton’s once,’ he said; ‘but that was on account of you. Now I have got you, it is a different matter; but hang it, Isabel, we can’t go on like this, you know. A man is bored to death here. Will you make up your mind, like a brave girl, to come with me directly and get it over, or shall we go back to Kilcranion, or somewhere, and wait till spring? By that time you ought to have made up your mind.’
‘Horace,’ she said, still speaking very low, ‘to every thing but one thing I can make up my mind at once, and that one thing I can never do—never! Don’t ask me. I cannot leave my baby behind.’
‘But, by Jove, if I insist upon it, you must!’ he cried, with a certain bravado21 in his tone.
She got up and went to him with a glow as of hidden fire in her eyes. ‘I will not!’ she said. ‘I will do anything—everything else you ask me, but not this!’
With her the crisis had reached the point of desperation. But as for Stapylton, he gazed at her for a moment, and, struck by her passion, turned round with a shrug22 of his shoulders, and what he meant to be an air of indifference23. ‘For Heaven’s sake don’t make a fuss,’ he said. ‘I hate women who make a fuss—though I think you’ve always had rather a turn that way, Isabel. Well, never mind. It is better to wait for spring, anyhow. I’ll run over to Kilcranion to-morrow, and engage one of the sea-bathing houses till April. They should be cheap enough.’
‘But, Horace,’ said Isabel, with parched24 and trembling lips, ‘you must understand—not then nor now, can I{266} leave her behind me. It is but one thing. I will do whatever you wish—whatever you tell me, except this.’
He stood eyeing her for a moment, as if uncertain how to deal with this obstinacy25. Then he turned away with once more that careless shrug of his shoulders.
‘Of course it is the only thing I do ask,’ he said, ‘as is always the way with women. But never mind: May is better for a long voyage than December; and something may have happened by that time to change the circumstances—or you may have changed your mind.’
‘What could happen, Horace? and I will never change my mind.’
‘Well, well, say no more about it,’ he said, ‘and we shall see when the time comes.’
Next day she was left alone to think over all this, and exaggerate all her difficulties in her own silent mind, closed up from all possibility of help or sympathy. Stapylton went off to Kilcranion in the morning, to look, as he said, for a house. He did not ask her to go with him, but took it for granted that she should remain behind with her fancy work, and be ready to receive him when he arrived by the evening boat. When she had watched the morning boat depart which conveyed him away, and found herself alone standing26 on the shore in this strange place where she knew no one, Isabel felt herself seized upon by the strangest tumult27 of feeling. She was free. His back was turned who was dearest to her, and yet whom she had begun to fear. Oh, if she had wings like a dove to flee to her baby! Oh, to go to Margaret!
A yearning28 came over her such as she could not restrain. She cried aloud, as the sheep do on the hill, in mournfullest bleating29, for the lost lambs. Oh, her baby!—her nursling, taken out of her bosom30! not by God, which must be borne; but by a caprice—a mistake—the unkind will of a man.
‘Will he no be in to his dinner?’ said the landlady31, coming with a sharp knock to the door, and disturbing all Isabel’s thoughts.
‘Not till the evening,’ said Isabel, hastily drying her eyes. ‘Mr. Stapylton is coming back by the last boat.’
‘But ye’ll hae your dinner yoursel,’ said the woman. ‘Fasting’s ill for a’body, especially for the like of you. Eh, but you’re red een, Mrs. Stapylton! Him and you have had a little tiff32 afore he left.’
‘No, indeed—nothing of the sort,’ said Isabel, indignantly. ‘And I don’t want anything, thank you. I shall not want anything till Mr. Stapylton comes back.’
‘I never heard of a couple yet but what had a tiff whiles,’ said the landlady, with philosophical33 calm;{267} ‘especially when the man is about the house a’ day, and naething to do. You’re no to think too much o’ ‘t. But dry your een, like a bonnie leddy, and gie him a smile when he comes hame.’
‘Indeed you are quite mistaken, I assure you,’ cried Isabel, half crying in her excitement, but trying to smile.
‘I have seen an awfu’ heap o’ couples in my day,’ said the woman, shaking her head in the composure of superior penetration34. ‘And the fonder they are of ilk ither, ay the more like to have a tiff; but you’ll see it will a’ be blown past if ye gie him ane o’ your bonnie smiles when he comes hame.’
If there is anything which can intensify35 the gloom of one of those tragic36 contentions37 which sometimes rend4 man and wife asunder38, it is this gleam of kindly39, consolatory40 ridicule41 from without, throwing over the deadly combat the fausse air of a lovers’ quarrel. Poor Isabel could not cry after this interruption. How far had she floated beyond the light and pleasant time when a lovers’ quarrel, with its fond offence and fonder reconciliation42, was possible! She took up her worsted work, poor mortal rag into which she had woven so many painful fancies, and sat down by the window, and tried to make out for herself some plan of action. But her thoughts went away from her like so many deserters, some to follow Horace, and wonder what intentions might be in his mind in respect to the future, and what his feelings really were towards her child; some to haunt the well-known place in which the baby was, and imagine every little detail of its existence. The little rooms at the Glebe came before her like an island of calm in the stormy ocean upon which she had launched herself; should she ever recover that peace, or such peace as that—should she ever come to have any security in her life again? And then her mind, which was so running over with thought as to be incapable43 of thinking, suddenly turned and caught at the poor landlady’s homely44 bit of philosophy: ‘Dry your een, like a bonnie leddy, and gie him a smile when he comes hame.’ Yes, she would give him a smile; she would crush down every suspicion—every terror; she would take it for granted—absolutely for granted—that he meant all good and no evil. She would smile upon him, and ignore everything that was not love and kindness—and surely love would conquer in the end.
This she said to herself, with a pathetic smile, wiping away the moisture which would come to the corners of her eyes; and then went out anxious, abject45, ready to put herself under his feet, to meet the lord and master whose yoke46 she had wilfully47 taken upon her. She took{268} a walk first against the wind with the unconscious craft of weakness, until the colour was kindled48 in her cheek, and the light brightened in her eyes. He was more fond of her when she looked best. This strange, half-flattering, half-humiliating fact Isabel had already found out. And she must use every weapon now for the struggle which was a matter of life and death.
The effort was rewarded. When she went to the boat, like any Odalisque, having done all she knew to heighten the effect of her simple beauty, she perceived by her husband’s first glance that she had succeeded. He looked at her with a fondness which had begun to die out of his eyes. ‘What have you been doing to yourself?’ he said; ‘you are looking quite lovely. You have not suffered much from my absence. It is nice, after all, to have such a little wife to come home to. Come, and I’ll tell you all I’ve been about.’
And they sauntered down, arm in arm, towards their lodging, feeling, after all, as if it had been only a ‘tiff.’ Only a lovers’ quarrel! was that all? and no harm in the heart of the fond young husband, nor fear in that of the wife?
‘Shouldn’t you like to go to the old place?’ he said, ‘first? You can go if you like while I settle some other affairs. I’ll take you to-morrow if you like, and bring a gig for you to take you to Kilcranion in the evening. Will that please you? You see I am not so bad as you thought.’
‘Oh, Horace, as if I ever thought you were bad; as if you ever were anything but good to me, and full of love and kindness!’ said Isabel, like a slave, trembling and glowing with happiness and with tears in her eyes.
‘You may be sure that is what I always mean,’ he said, in his lordly, condescending49 way; ‘and now you know how to make me do anything you like. Look as lovely as you are looking now and be sweet to me, and you can’t think how much I’ll do to please you, my pretty darling!’ He looked down upon her with such glowing eyes that Isabel was confused with the sudden revulsion. Could she doubt him after this? She clasped her hands on his arm and lifted her face to his, full of beseeching50, flattering, appealing tenderness. If that was how to win him, then it should be that way; and if there was a little vague pang51 of she knew not what mingled52 with the sweetness, why then it must be herself who was to blame? Thus the transition from the old minister’s princess to the young husband’s ‘pretty darling’ was made in a confusing, bewildering sort of way. Una changed into Scheherazade or Zuleika all at once, without any preparation, no doubt would have felt the change bewildering.{269} And so did Isabel. But he was very tender to her and full of caressing fondness, and she was to be taken to her baby to-morrow. Was not that happiness enough to obliterate53 all lesser54 evils?
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1
honeymoon
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| n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月 | |
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retards
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| 使减速( retard的第三人称单数 )； 妨碍； 阻止； 推迟 | |
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primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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rend
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| vt.把…撕开，割裂；把…揪下来，强行夺取 | |
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delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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severed
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| v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂 | |
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7
lodging
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| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
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wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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vacancy
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| n.（旅馆的）空位，空房，（职务的）空缺 | |
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sullenness
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| n. 愠怒, 沉闷, 情绪消沉 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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incipient
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| adj.起初的，发端的，初期的 | |
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humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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19
disapprove
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| v.不赞成，不同意，不批准 | |
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faltering
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| 犹豫的，支吾的，蹒跚的 | |
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bravado
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| n.虚张声势，故作勇敢，逞能 | |
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shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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parched
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| adj.焦干的；极渴的；v.（使）焦干 | |
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obstinacy
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| n.顽固；（病痛等）难治 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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29
bleating
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| v.（羊，小牛）叫( bleat的现在分词 )；哭诉；发出羊叫似的声音；轻声诉说 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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tiff
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| n.小争吵，生气 | |
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philosophical
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| adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的 | |
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34
penetration
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| n.穿透，穿人，渗透 | |
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35
intensify
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| vt.加强；变强；加剧 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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contentions
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| n.竞争( contention的名词复数 )；争夺；争论；论点 | |
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asunder
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| adj.分离的，化为碎片 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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consolatory
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| adj.慰问的，可藉慰的 | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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43
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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44
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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yoke
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| n.轭；支配；v.给...上轭，连接，使成配偶 | |
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wilfully
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| adv.任性固执地；蓄意地 | |
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48
kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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49
condescending
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| adj.谦逊的,故意屈尊的 | |
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50
beseeching
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| adj.恳求似的v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的现在分词 ) | |
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51
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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52
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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53
obliterate
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| v.擦去，涂抹，去掉...痕迹，消失，除去 | |
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54
lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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