“I d'ruther take gents only,” explained the ample person who carried the keys to the mansion4. “Gents goes early in the morning and comes in late at night, and that's all you ever see of 'em, half the time. I've tried ladies, an' they get me wild, always yellin' for hot water to wash their hair, or pastin' handkerchiefs up on the mirr'r or wantin' to butt5 into the kitchen to press this or that. I'll let you know if the gent don't take it, but I got an idea he will.”
He did. At any rate, no voice summoned me to that haven6 for gents only. There were other landladies—landladies fat and German; landladies lean and Irish; landladies loquacious7 (regardless of nationality); landladies reserved; landladies husbandless, wedded8, widowed, divorced, and willing; landladies slatternly; landladies prim9; and all hinting of past estates wherein there had been much grandeur10.
At last, when despair gripped me, and I had horrid11 visions of my trunk, hat-box and typewriter reposing12 on the sidewalk while I, homeless, sat perched in the midst of them, I chanced upon a room which commanded a glorious view of the lake. True, it was too expensive for my slim purse; true, the owner of it was sour of feature; true, the room itself was cavernous and unfriendly and cold-looking, but the view of the great, blue lake triumphed over all these, although a cautious inner voice warned me that that lake view would cover a multitude of sins. I remembered, later, how she of the sour visage had dilated13 upon the subject of the sunrise over the water. I told her at the time that while I was passionately14 fond of sunrises myself, still I should like them just as well did they not occur so early in the morning. Whereupon she of the vinegar countenance15 had sniffed16. I loathe18 landladies who sniff17.
My trunk and trusty typewriter were sent on to my new home at noon, unchaperoned, for I had no time to spare at that hour of the day. Later I followed them, laden19 with umbrella, boxes, brown-paper parcels, and other unfashionable moving-day paraphernalia20. I bumped and banged my way up the two flights of stairs that led to my lake view and my bed, and my heart went down as my feet went up. By the time the cavernous bedroom was gained I felt decidedly quivery-mouthed, so that I dumped my belongings21 on the floor in a heap and went to the window to gaze on the lake until my spirits should rise. But it was a gray day, and the lake looked large, and wet and unsociable. You couldn't get chummy with it. I turned to my great barn of a room. You couldn't get chummy with that, either. I began to unpack22, with furious energy. In vain I turned every gas jet blazing high. They only cast dim shadows in the murky23 vastness of that awful chamber24. A whole Fourth of July fireworks display, Roman candles, sky-rockets, pin-wheels, set pieces and all, could not have made that room take on a festive25 air.
As I unpacked26 I thought of my cosy27 room at Knapfs', and as I thought I took my head out of my trunk and sank down on the floor with a satin blouse in one hand, and a walking boot in the other, and wanted to bellow28 with loneliness. There came to me dear visions of the friendly old yellow brocade chair, and the lamplight, and the fireplace, and Frau Nirlanger, and the Pfannkuchen. I thought of the aborigines. In my homesick mind their bumpy29 faces became things of transcendent beauty. I could have put my head on their combined shoulders and wept down their blue satin neckties. In my memory of Frau Knapf it seemed to me that I could discern a dim, misty30 halo hovering31 above her tightly wadded hair. My soul went out to her as I recalled the shining cheek-bones, and the apron32, and the chickens stewed33 in butter. I would have given a year out of my life to have heard that good-natured, “Nabben'.” One aborigine had been wont34 to emphasize his after-dinner arguments with a toothpick brandished35 fiercely between thumb and finger. The brandisher36 had always annoyed me. Now I thought of him with tenderness in my heart and reproached myself for my fastidiousness. I should have wept if I had not had a walking boot in one hand, and a satin blouse in the other. A walking boot is but a cold comfort. And my thriftiness37 denied my tears the soiling of the blouse. So I sat up on my knees and finished the unpacking38.
Just before dinner time I donned a becoming gown to chirk up my courage, groped my way down the long, dim stairs, and telephoned to Von Gerhard. It seemed to me that just to hear his voice would instill in me new courage and hope. I gave the number, and waited.
“Dr. von Gerhard?” repeated a woman's voice at the other end of the wire. “He is very busy. Will you leave your name?”
“No,” I snapped. “I'll hold the wire. Tell him that Mrs. Orme is waiting to speak to him.”
“I'll see.” The voice was grudging39.
Another wait; then—“Dawn!” came his voice in glad surprise.
“Hello!” I cried, hysterically40. “Hello! Oh, talk! Say something nice, for pity's sake! I'm sorry that I've taken you away from whatever you were doing, but I couldn't help it. Just talk please! I'm dying of loneliness.”
“Child, are you ill?” Von Gerhard's voice was so satisfyingly solicitous41. “Is anything wrong? Your voice is trembling. I can hear it quite plainly. What has happened? Has Norah written—”
“Norah? No. There was nothing in her letter to upset me. It is only the strangeness of this place. I shall be all right in a day or so.”
“The new home—it is satisfactory? You have found what you wanted? Your room is comfortable?”
“It's—it's a large room,” I faltered42. “And there's a—a large view of the lake, too.”
There was a smothered43 sound at the other end of the wire. Then—“I want you to meet me down-town at seven o'clock. We will have dinner together,” Von Gerhard said, “I cannot have you moping up there all alone all evening.”
“I can't come.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to so very much. And anyway, I'm much more cheerful now. I am going in to dinner. And after dinner I shall get acquainted with my room. There are six corners and all the space under the bed that I haven't explored yet.”
“Dawn!”
“Yes?”
“If you were free to-night, would you marry me? If you knew that the next month would find you mistress of yourself would you—”
“Ernst!”
“Yes?”
“If the gates of Heaven were opened wide to you, and they had 'Welcome!' done in diamonds over the door, and all the loveliest angel ladies grouped about the doorway44 to receive you, and just beyond you could see awaiting you all that was beautiful, and most exquisite45, and most desirable, would you enter?”
And then I hung up the receiver and went in to dinner. I went in to dinner, but not to dine. Oh, shades of those who have suffered in boarding-houses—that dining room! It must have been patterned after the dining room at Dotheboys' hall. It was bare, and cheerless, and fearfully undressed looking. The diners were seated at two long, unsociable, boarding-housey tables that ran the length of the room, and all the women folks came down to dine with white wool shawls wrapped snugly46 about their susceptible47 black silk shoulders. The general effect was that of an Old People's Home. I found seat after seat at table was filled, and myself the youngest thing present. I felt so criminally young that I wondered they did not strap48 me in a high chair and ram49 bread and milk down my throat. Now and then the door would open to admit another snuffly, ancient, and be-shawled member of the company. I learned that Mrs. Schwartz, on my right, did not care mooch for shteak for breakfast, aber a leedle l'mb ch'p she likes. Also that the elderly party on my left and the elderly party on my right resented being separated by my person. Conversation between E. P. on right, and E. P. on left scintillated50 across my soup, thus:
“How you feel this evening Mis' Maurer, h'm?”
“Don't ask me.”
“No wonder you got rheumatism51. My room was like a ice-house all day. Yours too?”
“I don't complain any more. Much good it does. Barley52 soup again? In my own home I never ate it, and here I pay my good money and get four time a week barley soup. Are those fresh cucumbers? M-m-m-m. They haven't stood long enough. Look at Mis' Miller53. She feels good this evening. She should feel good. Twenty-five cents she won at bridge. I never seen how that woman is got luck.”
I choked, gasped54, and fled.
Back in my own mausoleum once more I put things in order, dragged my typewriter stand into the least murky corner under the bravest gas jet and rescued my tottering55 reason by turning out a long letter to Norah. That finished, my spirits rose. I dived into the bottom of my trunk for the loose sheets of the book-in-the-making, glanced over the last three or four, discovered that they did not sound so maudlin56 as I had feared, and straightway forgot my gloomy surroundings in the fascination57 of weaving the tale.
In the midst of my fine frenzy58 there came a knock at the door. In the hall stood the anemic little serving maid who had attended me at dinner. She was almost eclipsed by a huge green pasteboard box.
“You're Mis' Orme, ain't you? This here's for you.”
The little white-cheeked maid hovered59 at the threshold while I lifted the box cover and revealed the perfection of the American beauty buds that lay there, all dewy and fragrant60. The eyes of the little maid were wide with wonder as she gazed, and because I had known flower-hunger I separated two stately blossoms from the glowing cluster and held them out to her.
“For me!” she gasped, and brought her lips down to them, gently. Then—“There's a high green jar downstairs you can have to stick your flowers in. You ain't got nothin' big enough in here, except your water pitcher61. An' putting these grand flowers in a water pitcher—why, it'd be like wearing a silk dress over a flannel62 petticoat, wouldn't it?”
When the anemic little boarding-house slavey with the beauty-loving soul had fetched the green jar, I placed the shining stems in it with gentle fingers. At the bottom of the box I found a card that read: “For it is impossible to live in a room with red roses and still be traurig.”
How well he knew! And how truly impossible to be sad when red roses are glowing for one, and filling the air with their fragrance63!
The interruption was fatal to book-writing. My thoughts were a chaos64 of red roses, and anemic little maids with glowing eyes, and thoughtful young doctors with a marvelous understanding of feminine moods. So I turned out all the lights, undressed by moonlight, and, throwing a kimono about me, carried my jar of roses to the window and sat down beside them so that their exquisite scent65 caressed66 me.
The moonlight had put a spell of white magic upon the lake. It was a light-flooded world that lay below my window. Summer, finger on lip, had stolen in upon the heels of spring. Dim, shadowy figures dotted the benches of the park across the way. Just beyond lay the silver lake, a dazzling bar of moonlight on its breast. Motors rushed along the roadway with a roar and a whir and were gone, leaving a trail of laughter behind them. From the open window of the room below came the slip-slap of cards on the polished table surface, and the low buzz of occasional conversation as the players held postmortems. Under the street light the popcorn67 vender's cart made a blot68 on the mystic beauty of the scene below. But the perfume of my red roses came to me, and their velvet69 caressed my check, and beyond the noise and lights of the street lay that glorious lake with the bar of moonlight on its soft breast. I gazed and forgave the sour-faced landlady70 her dining room; forgave the elderly parties their shawls and barley soup; forgot for a moment my weary thoughts of Peter Orme; forgot everything except that it was June, and moonlight and good to be alive.
All the changes and events of that strange, eventful year came crowding to my mind as I crouched71 there at the window. Four new friends, tried and true! I conned72 them over joyously73 in my heart. What a strange contrast they made! Blackie, of the elastic74 morals, and the still more elastic heart; Frau Nirlanger, of the smiling lips and the lilting voice and the tragic75 eyes—she who had stooped from a great height to pluck the flower of love blooming below, only to find a worthless weed sullying her hand; Alma Pflugel, with the unquenchable light of gratefulness in her honest face; Von Gerhard, ready to act as buffer76 between myself and the world, tender as a woman, gravely thoughtful, with the light of devotion glowing in his steady eyes.
“Here's richness,” said I, like the fat boy in Pickwick Papers. And I thanked God for the new energy which had sent me to this lovely city by the lake. I thanked Him that I had not been content to remain a burden to Max and Norah, growing sour and crabbed77 with the years. Those years of work and buffeting78 had made of me a broader, finer, truer type of womanhood—had caused me to forget my own little tragedy in contemplating79 the great human comedy. And so I made a little prayer there in the moon-flooded room.
“O dear Lord,” I prayed, and I did not mean that it should sound irreverent. “O dear Lord, don't bother about my ambitions! Just let me remain strong and well enough to do the work that is my portion from day to day. Keep me faithful to my standards of right and wrong. Let this new and wonderful love which has come into my life be a staff of strength and comfort instead of a burden of weariness. Let me not grow careless and slangy as the years go by. Let me keep my hair and complexion80 and teeth, and deliver me from wearing soiled blouses and doing my hair in a knob. Amen.”
I felt quite cheerful after that—so cheerful that the strange bumps in the new bed did not bother me as unfamiliar81 beds usually did. The roses I put to sleep in their jar of green, keeping one to hold against my cheek as I slipped into dreamland. I thought drowsily82, just before sleep claimed me:
“To-morrow, after office hours, I'll tuck up my skirt, and wrap my head in a towel and have a housecleaning bee. I'll move the bed where the wash-stand is now, and I'll make the chiffonnier swap83 places with the couch. One feels on friendlier terms with furniture that one has shoved about a little. How brilliant the moonlight is! The room is flooded with it. Those roses—sweet!—sweet!—”
When I awoke it was morning. During the days that followed I looked back gratefully upon that night, with its moonlight, and its roses, and its great peace.
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1
scurry
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| vi.急匆匆地走；使急赶；催促；n.快步急跑，疾走；仓皇奔跑声；骤雨，骤雪；短距离赛马 | |
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scampered
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| v.蹦蹦跳跳地跑，惊惶奔跑( scamper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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landladies
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| n.女房东，女店主，女地主( landlady的名词复数 ) | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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butt
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| n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶 | |
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haven
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| n.安全的地方，避难所，庇护所 | |
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loquacious
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| adj.多嘴的，饶舌的 | |
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wedded
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| adj.正式结婚的；渴望…的，执著于…的v.嫁，娶，（与…）结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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prim
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| adj.拘泥形式的，一本正经的；n.循规蹈矩，整洁；adv.循规蹈矩地，整洁地 | |
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grandeur
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| n.伟大，崇高，宏伟，庄严，豪华 | |
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horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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12
reposing
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| v.将（手臂等）靠在某人（某物）上( repose的现在分词 ) | |
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dilated
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| adj.加宽的，扩大的v.（使某物）扩大，膨胀，张大( dilate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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16
sniffed
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| v.以鼻吸气，嗅，闻( sniff的过去式和过去分词 )；抽鼻子（尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气）；抱怨，不以为然地说 | |
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17
sniff
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| vi.嗅…味道；抽鼻涕；对嗤之以鼻，蔑视 | |
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loathe
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| v.厌恶，嫌恶 | |
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laden
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| adj.装满了的；充满了的；负了重担的；苦恼的 | |
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paraphernalia
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| n.装备；随身用品 | |
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21
belongings
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| n.私人物品，私人财物 | |
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22
unpack
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| vt.打开包裹（或行李），卸货 | |
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23
murky
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| adj.黑暗的，朦胧的；adv.阴暗地，混浊地；n.阴暗；昏暗 | |
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24
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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festive
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| adj.欢宴的，节日的 | |
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unpacked
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| v.从（包裹等）中取出（所装的东西），打开行李取出( unpack的过去式和过去分词 )；拆包；解除…的负担；吐露（心事等） | |
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cosy
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| adj.温暖而舒适的，安逸的 | |
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bellow
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| v.吼叫，怒吼；大声发出，大声喝道 | |
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bumpy
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| adj.颠簸不平的，崎岖的 | |
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30
misty
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| adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的 | |
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31
hovering
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| 鸟( hover的现在分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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apron
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| n.围裙；工作裙 | |
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stewed
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| adj.焦虑不安的，烂醉的v.炖( stew的过去式和过去分词 )；煨；思考；担忧 | |
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wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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brandished
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| v.挥舞( brandish的过去式和过去分词 )；炫耀 | |
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brandisher
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| 挥舞 | |
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thriftiness
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| 节俭，节约 | |
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38
unpacking
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| n.取出货物，拆包[箱]v.从（包裹等）中取出（所装的东西），打开行李取出( unpack的现在分词 )；拆包；解除…的负担；吐露（心事等） | |
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39
grudging
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| adj.勉强的，吝啬的 | |
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40
hysterically
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| ad. 歇斯底里地 | |
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41
solicitous
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| adj.热切的，挂念的 | |
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42
faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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43
smothered
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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44
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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45
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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46
snugly
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| adv.紧贴地；贴身地；暖和舒适地；安适地 | |
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47
susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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48
strap
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| n.皮带，带子；v.用带扣住，束牢；用绷带包扎 | |
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49
ram
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| (random access memory)随机存取存储器 | |
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50
scintillated
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| v.（言谈举止中）焕发才智( scintillate的过去式和过去分词 )；谈笑洒脱；闪耀；闪烁 | |
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51
rheumatism
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| n.风湿病 | |
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52
barley
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| n.大麦，大麦粒 | |
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53
miller
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| n.磨坊主 | |
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54
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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55
tottering
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| adj.蹒跚的，动摇的v.走得或动得不稳( totter的现在分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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56
maudlin
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| adj.感情脆弱的，爱哭的 | |
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fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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frenzy
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| n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动 | |
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59
hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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60
fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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61
pitcher
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| n.(有嘴和柄的)大水罐；(棒球)投手 | |
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62
flannel
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| n.法兰绒；法兰绒衣服 | |
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63
fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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64
chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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65
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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caressed
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| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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67
popcorn
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| n.爆米花 | |
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68
blot
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| vt.弄脏（用吸墨纸）吸干；n.污点，污渍 | |
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69
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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70
landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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71
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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72
conned
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| adj.被骗了v.指挥操舵( conn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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73
joyously
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| ad.快乐地, 高兴地 | |
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elastic
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| n.橡皮圈，松紧带；adj.有弹性的；灵活的 | |
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tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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76
buffer
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| n.起缓冲作用的人(或物)，缓冲器；vt.缓冲 | |
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77
crabbed
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| adj.脾气坏的；易怒的；（指字迹）难辨认的；（字迹等）难辨认的v.捕蟹( crab的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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buffeting
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| 振动 | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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80
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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81
unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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82
drowsily
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| adv.睡地，懒洋洋地，昏昏欲睡地 | |
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83
swap
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| n.交换；vt.交换，用...作交易 | |
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