Mrs. Mince was in possession of her husband’s desk-chair, that solemn pedestal whence the sage17 gave to Saltire those luminous18 moments of spiritual exaltation begot19 of brandy and tobacco. Opposite the vicaress, on one of the sedilia bankrupt of horse-hair, sat that estimable person Mrs. Primmer20, who had dwelt as cook for seven years under the parsonic roof and had earned a reputation for sober saintliness and extreme economy. Mrs. Primmer was garbed21 in her best for the occasion, a lavish22 outlay23 of crape and jet beads24 testifying to the woe25 that had once made of her a widow. She was one of Mrs. Mince’s “props of honesty,” an estimable errant angel in cloth boots and crape.
The reason of Mrs. Primmer’s expedition that day was a certain matter that lay heavy on what she was pleased to call her conscience. Hers was a pilgrimage undertaken from honest motives27, a most disinterested28 excursion. The vicaress and the ex-cook were keenly in sympathy on such a subject. With admirable ingenuity29 they veiled their too feminine propensities30 under the cassocks of duty and moral obligation.
“I think you were quite right, Eliza,” Mrs. Mince was saying, “to come to me in this matter. It most certainly needs careful consideration, and you have acted like a conscientious31 Christian32 woman. You are quite sure—now—as to the gentleman’s identity?”
“Certain,” replied the conscientious person, with a tense closure of the lips; “I have one of his handkerchiefs here, ma’am, marked with his name.”
“Dear, dear,” said the vicaress, “how very scandalous! They are always out together, you say? Dear, dear. I suppose all the offence is on his side, Mrs. Primmer?”
The ex-cook folded her bony hands over her black skirt and spoke33 with regretful candor34.
“I’m afraid not, ma’am. The girl’s every bit as bad as the man.”
“Dear, dear,” said Mrs. Mince again, “how very scandalous, to be sure! only married eight months, and his wife away on a holiday. And you caught them in the dark, you say?”
“In the dark, ma’am, during that terrible storm on Wednesday night.”
“In the dark, yes.”
Mrs. Mince’s face was suffused35 with a shiny avidity; even her colorless eyes were eager.
“Well, ma’am, I shouldn’t like to say all I thought I saw.”
“Of course not, Eliza; it is too shocking a subject for clean-minded women to discuss. Dear, dear, how badly people turn out in this world; human nature has nothing but disappointments for us. Only to think of it,” and Mrs. Mince sighed.
“I thought I ought to come and ask your advice, ma’am,” said Mrs. Primmer, with great deference36.
“It shows a most excellent spirit in you, Eliza.”
“The responsibility, ma’am, rather troubled me; I thought I would come to a good, godly lady for counsel. Old Mr. Gildersedge is weak and helpless, what with the drink and the like, poor old gentleman. He ain’t to be considered ‘compot mentis,’ as they call it, ma’am. I couldn’t see all this going on and say nothing to nobody.”
Mrs. Mince wiped her face with her handkerchief and seemed agreeably conscious of her own importance.
“You were quite right, Eliza,” she said; “this is a most painful discovery. I must talk it over with Mr. Mince and see what his Christian conscience suggests. For the present, I should keep the whole affair a profound secret. Silence is golden, Eliza, on occasions.”
“Certainly, ma’am.”
Mrs. Mince seemed to gather her soul for a final flight of charitable circumspection37.
“You must go back,” she said, unctuously38, “watch, and say nothing. Try to be the poor, deluded40 girl’s guardian41 angel in secret. It is sad—most sad. I only hope something may be done before it is too late; as the wife of one of the Father’s ministers I will think it over, and pray to the dear God for guidance. Now you must really go into the kitchen, Eliza, and get some tea.”
Mrs. Primmer’s stony42 face seemed to lighten seraphically at the suggestion.
“I’ve only done, ma’am,” she said, “what the dear Lord put into my heart to do. I thank Him every day of my life that he gave me seven years of sojourn43 under this good, saintly roof. Mr. Mince’s sermons, ma’am, always taught me to love the Holy Book and to look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. ‘God is love.’ I have that text you gave me over my bed, ma’am.”
“Ah, Eliza, we always try to do our best,” said Mrs. Mince, with an inimitable smirk44 in the direction of the vegetable garden.
When Mrs. Primmer had betaken herself to the scene of her past culinary prowess, Mrs. Mince panted up-stairs to her bedroom and proceeded to array herself in Sabbath attire45. She donned her new bonnet46 with the red roses in it and her black silk dress. She buttoned on a new pair of glacé kid boots and hung her little gold cross on her bosom47. Mrs. Mince’s toilet would have suggested a smart tea-party, a church service, or some important parochial function. Being in some vague way impressed by the onerous48 responsibility of her British matronship, she had donned full pontificals for the occasion. A state gossip, a most solemn scandal festival, was in the air, and with quaint49 feminine na?veté the vicaress had flown to her finery as though her attire should be in harmony with the splendor50 of her tidings.
Mrs. Mince threaded the archaic51 and picturesque52 Saltire High Street with a species of complacent53 waddle54 that characterized her mind. The glimpses of forestland and azure55 sky caught betwixt red roofs and bourgeoning orchards56 were foreign to her ken26. She was a person who delighted in oil and vinegar. If you had shown her some masterpiece of art in the nude57, she would have sniffed58 and remarked, “How very disgusting!” She possessed59 the mock modesty60 of coarse-minded persons—a mock modesty that waxes loud and aggressive to hide the nastiness beneath.
Mrs. Marjoy was at home, or in her lair61, as certain uncharitable folk had expressed it. The doctor’s wife was in a particularly angelic mood. Mrs. Mince found Mrs. Marjoy closeted with the eldest62 Miss Snodley in her drawing-room. The mercurial63 lady was creaking to and fro in a patent-spring rocking-chair that needed oiling. She dribbled64 some lukewarm water into the exhausted65 teapot and greeted the vicaress with dubious66 delight.
Mrs. Mince had seated herself with a species of portentous67 calm. She looked supremely68 cheerful, big and beaming with the fat confessions70 stowed in her motherly bosom. Tidings of honey, vineyards, and much corn! The lady gloated like an Israelite over the promised spoiling of Canaan.
“Dear, dear, such news,” she said, fingering her fat wedding-ring, as though meditating71 upon the supreme69 respectability of her own lot.
The two listeners were “muzzles up” on the instant, like hounds that give tongue over a struck scent72.
“What is it?”
“That Ginge girl’s engaged at last!”
“Nonsense.”
“That hussy!”
“Guess again, my dear.”
“Your cook’s gone wrong?” said Mrs. Marjoy, who had a particular grievance73 against domestics.
“No.”
“Some one has eloped?” ventured Miss Snodley.
“No, dear, much more exciting.”
“Tell us, then.”
Mrs. Mince took a deep breath and delivered herself of her tidings with fitting éclat.
“Young Strong has compromised himself?” she said.
There was a moment’s silence, then a kind of cackling outburst, like the pother in a farm-yard over the laying of an egg.
“Never,” said Miss Snodley.
“He has.”
“When—how?”
“I knew it,” quoth Mrs. Marjoy, with intense pride. “I always knew that fellow was a scoundrel.”
“And Ophelia?” said Miss Snodley.
The three ladies looked at one another and tittered.
“It will take the airs out of her,” said Mrs. Mince.
“Serve her right,” quoth the doctor’s wife.
“Those Gussets were always so stuck up,” said Miss Snodley.
Then they all stared at one another again, embraced rapturously in the spirit, and indulged in more tittering.
“Tell us all about it,” said Mrs. Marjoy, reserving her own Domremy episode as a finale.
They drew their chairs closer together, like Macbeth’s witches over their reeking74 caldron. Mrs. Mince related Mrs. Primmer’s experiences, with certain embellishments of her own, doing abundant justice, as was to be expected, to the sinister75 aspects of the romance. When she had talked her fill, Mrs. Marjoy capped the tale with her own conclusions drawn76 from the Domremy incident. Indeed, the three ladies enjoyed themselves with much thoroughness that afternoon. No such sport had fallen to their barbs77 since a local farmer had been accused of starving his pigs, a very minor78 excitement. Christians79 they were in name, yet the spirit of imperial Rome still lingered in their bosoms80. To have witnessed a combat between wild beasts and slaves was a display beyond the possibilities of the civilized81 arena82. Indeed, the very mention of it would doubtless have inspired them with unctuous39 horror and strident indignation. Yet there was little difference in the main betwixt the tiger-hearted dames83 of Rome and these modern ladies, save that the latter were hypocrites, the former honest even in their depravity. The pagans gloated over agonies in the flesh, the Christians over agonies in the spirit.
“What a scandal,” said the vicaress, with ill-concealed satisfaction, “if the affair comes to light!”
“As it must,” said Mrs. Marjoy, viciously; “and young Strong coming forward as our member, too! Nice sort of legislator to frame laws for the country’s good. Is it generally known yet?”
“My goodness! no,” quoth Mrs. Mince; “only Mrs. Primmer and ourselves are in the secret, so far as I can tell. The question is, what is to be done.”
The mind of this most moral trinity waxed meditative84 over the problem.
“I think Ophelia ought to be communicated with,” said the vicaress, after reasonable cogitation85.
“Certainly,” observed the doctor’s wife, creaking to and fro in her chair.
“A matter of duty,” added Mrs. Mince.
“And charity,” said Miss Snodley, looking over the rims86 of her gold pince-nez.
They were all vastly serious over the business, exceedingly solemn, infinitely87 in earnest. The undercurrent of hypocrisy88 in their ethics89 did not seem to suggest itself to their minds. They were about to enjoy a triumph over a feminine autocrat90, a woman disliked by reason of the superior comeliness91 of her person.
“Ophelia Strong must be warned,” said the vicaress, speaking as the most religious woman in Saltire.
“But by whom?” queried92 Miss Snodley.
Mrs. Marjoy’s aggressive voice claimed the responsibility.
“By us, of course,” she said.
For a moment they stared at one another in silence.
“How?” asked Miss Snodley, tentatively.
“By letter,” said the doctor’s wife.
“Anonymous, of course,” interposed Mrs. Mince, with hurried circumspection.
They debated the question briefly93, and continued to satisfy the triple conscience as to the morality of the proceeding94. Mrs. Marjoy possessed herself of her writing-case, and, after much tentative suggestion and voluminous wastage of paper, produced the following edifying95 document:
“As sincere and disinterested friends, we think Mrs. Strong ought to be warned of the danger that is threatening her domestic happiness. We do not desire to swear to facts or to make mere96 poisonous insinuations. As Christian women we only wish to put a sister on her guard. We hear that her husband has been acting97 unwisely. There is a serpent in the grass near Rilchester, at a place known as Burnt House. This letter is despatched by its writers through a deep sense of Christian duty and moral obligation. It had better be burned when it has been read.”
“There,” said Mrs. Marjoy, straightening herself in her chair, with an expression of pride, “that ought to fire the furnace. I have disguised my writing by scrawling98 it backhand. I am going into Rilchester to-morrow, and I can post it there. The postmark will help to keep its origin secret.”
“I wonder what will come of it,” said Mrs. Mince, with reflection.
“Poor Ophelia Strong!” sighed Miss Snodley, with a breath of penitence99. “What if it proves a great blow to her. Perhaps—”
“Nonsense,” said Mrs. Marjoy, sharply; “don’t be sentimental100, Zinia. We are only doing our duty.”
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1
mince
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| n.切碎物；v.切碎，矫揉做作地说 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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aroma
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| n.香气，芬芳，芳香 | |
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pervaded
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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needy
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| adj.贫穷的，贫困的，生活艰苦的 | |
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pensioners
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| n.领取退休、养老金或抚恤金的人( pensioner的名词复数 ) | |
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warped
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| adj.反常的；乖戾的；（变）弯曲的；变形的v.弄弯，变歪( warp的过去式和过去分词 )；使（行为等）不合情理，使乖戾， | |
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ponderous
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| adj.沉重的，笨重的，(文章)冗长的 | |
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infliction
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| n.（强加于人身的）痛苦，刑罚 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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incongruities
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| n.不协调( incongruity的名词复数 )；不一致；不适合；不协调的东西 | |
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creed
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| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
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peril
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| n.(严重的)危险；危险的事物 | |
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dubbed
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| v.给…起绰号( dub的过去式和过去分词 )；把…称为；配音；复制 | |
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sage
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| n.圣人，哲人；adj.贤明的，明智的 | |
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luminous
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| adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的 | |
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begot
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| v.为…之生父( beget的过去式 )；产生，引起 | |
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primmer
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| adj.循规蹈矩的( prim的比较级 )；整洁的；（人）一本正经 | |
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garbed
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| v.（尤指某类人穿的特定）服装，衣服，制服( garb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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lavish
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| adj.无节制的；浪费的；vt.慷慨地给予，挥霍 | |
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outlay
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| n.费用，经费，支出；v.花费 | |
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beads
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| n.（空心）小珠子( bead的名词复数 )；水珠；珠子项链 | |
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woe
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| n.悲哀，苦痛，不幸，困难；int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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ken
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| n.视野，知识领域 | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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propensities
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| n.倾向，习性( propensity的名词复数 ) | |
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conscientious
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| adj.审慎正直的，认真的，本着良心的 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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candor
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| n.坦白，率真 | |
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suffused
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| v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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circumspection
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| n.细心，慎重 | |
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38
unctuously
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| adv.油腻地，油腔滑调地；假惺惺 | |
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unctuous
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| adj.油腔滑调的，大胆的 | |
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deluded
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| v.欺骗，哄骗( delude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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42
stony
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| adj.石头的，多石头的，冷酷的，无情的 | |
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sojourn
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| v./n.旅居，寄居；逗留 | |
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smirk
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| n.得意地笑；v.傻笑；假笑着说 | |
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attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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47
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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onerous
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| adj.繁重的 | |
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49
quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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50
splendor
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| n.光彩；壮丽，华丽；显赫，辉煌 | |
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51
archaic
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| adj.(语言、词汇等)古代的，已不通用的 | |
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52
picturesque
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| adj.美丽如画的，（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 | |
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complacent
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| adj.自满的；自鸣得意的 | |
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waddle
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| vi.摇摆地走；n.摇摆的走路(样子) | |
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55
azure
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| adj.天蓝色的，蔚蓝色的 | |
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56
orchards
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| （通常指围起来的）果园( orchard的名词复数 ) | |
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nude
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| adj.裸体的；n.裸体者，裸体艺术品 | |
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58
sniffed
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| v.以鼻吸气，嗅，闻( sniff的过去式和过去分词 )；抽鼻子（尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气）；抱怨，不以为然地说 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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lair
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| n.野兽的巢穴；躲藏处 | |
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62
eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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mercurial
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| adj.善变的，活泼的 | |
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64
dribbled
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| v.流口水( dribble的过去式和过去分词 )；（使液体）滴下或作细流；运球，带球 | |
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exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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dubious
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| adj.怀疑的，无把握的；有问题的，靠不住的 | |
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portentous
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| adj.不祥的，可怕的，装腔作势的 | |
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supremely
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| adv.无上地，崇高地 | |
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supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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70
confessions
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| n.承认( confession的名词复数 )；自首；声明；（向神父的）忏悔 | |
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meditating
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| a.沉思的，冥想的 | |
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72
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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73
grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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74
reeking
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| v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的现在分词 )；散发臭气；发出难闻的气味 (of sth)；明显带有（令人不快或生疑的跡象） | |
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75
sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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77
barbs
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| n.（箭头、鱼钩等的）倒钩( barb的名词复数 )；带刺的话；毕露的锋芒；钩状毛 | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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79
Christians
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| n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 ) | |
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80
bosoms
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| 胸部( bosom的名词复数 )； 胸怀； 女衣胸部（或胸襟）； 和爱护自己的人在一起的情形 | |
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civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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82
arena
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| n.竞技场，运动场所；竞争场所，舞台 | |
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83
dames
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| n.（在英国）夫人（一种封号），夫人（爵士妻子的称号）( dame的名词复数 )；女人 | |
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84
meditative
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| adj.沉思的，冥想的 | |
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85
cogitation
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| n.仔细思考，计划，设计 | |
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86
rims
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| n.（圆形物体的）边( rim的名词复数 )；缘；轮辋；轮圈 | |
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87
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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88
hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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89
ethics
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| n.伦理学；伦理观，道德标准 | |
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90
autocrat
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| n.独裁者；专横的人 | |
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comeliness
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| n. 清秀, 美丽, 合宜 | |
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92
queried
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| v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的过去式和过去分词 )；询问 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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95
edifying
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| adj.有教训意味的，教训性的，有益的v.开导，启发( edify的现在分词 ) | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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97
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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98
scrawling
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| 乱涂，潦草地写( scrawl的现在分词 ) | |
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99
penitence
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| n.忏悔，赎罪；悔过 | |
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100
sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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