Next he gradually developed the habit of sitting alone. More often than not he would come into the[83] café and go to a table at the opposite side of the room to that at which the Germans were sitting.
Ridicule8 is sighted at twenty yards, the spectator then, without the sphere of average immediate9 magnetism10. For once it does not matter, but if persisted in it inevitably11 results in humour. Those who keep to themselves awaken12 mirth as a cartwheel running along the road by itself would. People feel with the “lonely” man that he is going about with some eccentric companion—that is himself. Why did he choose this deaf-and-dumb companion? What do they find to say? He is ludicrous as two men would be who, perpetually in each other’s company, were never seen to exchange a word—who dined together, went to theatre or café, without ever looking at each other or speaking.
So Kreisler became a lonely figure. It was a strange feeling. He must be quiet and not attract attention. He was marked in some way as though he had committed a theft. Perhaps it was merely the worry of perpetual “tick” beginning to tell. For the moment he would just put himself aside and see what happened. He was afraid of himself too. Always up till then immersed in that self, now for the first time he stood partly outside it. This slight divorce made him less sure in his actions. A little less careful of his appearance, he went sluggishly13 about, smoking, reading the paper a great deal, working at the art school fairly often, playing billiards14 with an Austrian cook whose acquaintance he had made in a café and who disappeared owing him seven francs.
Volker had been a compendious15 phenomenon in his life, although his cheery gold had attracted him to the more complete discovery. He had ousted16 women, too, from Kreisler’s daily needs. He had become a superstition17 for his tall friend.
It was Kreisler’s deadness, his absolute lack of any reason to be confident and yet perfect aplomb18, that mastered his companion. But this acquired eventually its significance as well, for Kreisler. The inertia19 and phlegm, outward sign of depressing[84] everyday Kreisler, had found some one for whom they were a charm and something to be envied. Kreisler’s imagination woke shortly after Volker’s. It was as though a peasant who had always regarded his life as the dullest affair, were suddenly inspirited about himself by realizing some townsman’s poetic20 notion of him. Kreisler’s moody21 wastefulness22 and futility23 had found a raison d’être and meaning.
Ernst Volker had remained for three vague years becalmed on this empty sea. Kreisler basked24 round him, never having to lift his waves and clash them together as formerly he had been forced sometimes to do. There had been no appeals to life. Volker had been the guarantor of his peace. His failure was the omen5 of the sinking ship, the disappearance25 of the rats!
Then they had never arrived at terms of friendship. It had been only an epic26 acquaintanceship, and Kreisler had taken him about as a parasite27 that he pretended not to notice.
There was no question, therefore, of a reproach at desertion. He merely hopped28 off on to somebody else. Kreisler was more exasperated29 at this than at the defection of a friend, who could be fixed30 down, and from whom at last explanation must come. It was an unfair advantage taken. A man had no right to accompany you in that distant and paradoxical fashion, get all he could, become ideally useful, unless it was for life.
He watched Soltyk’s success with distant mockery. Volker’s loves were all husks, of illogical completeness.
A man appeared one day in the Berne who had known Kreisler in Münich. The story of Kreisler’s marrying his fiancée to his father then became known. Other complications were alleged31 in which Otto’s paternity played a part. The dot of the bride was another obscure matter. It was during his aloofness32. He looked the sort of man, the party agreed, who would splice33 his sweetheart with his papa or reinforce his papa’s affairs with a dot he did not wish to pay for at last with his own person. The Berne was[85] also informed that Kreisler had to keep seventeen children in Münich alone; that he only had to look at a woman for her to become pregnant. It was when the head of the column, the eldest34 of the seventeen, emerged into boyhood, requiring instruction, that Kreisler left for Rome. Since then a small society had been founded in Bavaria to care for Kreisler’s offsprings throughout Germany. This great capacity of Otto’s was, naturally, not admired; at the best it could be considered as a misdirected and disordered efficiency. The stories pleased, nevertheless. When he appeared that night his friends turned towards his historic figure with cries of welcome. But he was not gregarious35. He missed his opportunity. He took a seat in the passage-way leading to the Bureau de Tabac. As their laughter struck him through his paper he was unstrung enough to be annoyed.
He frowned and puckered36 up his eyes, and two flushed lines descended37 from his eyes to his jaw38. On their way out one or two of his compatriots greeted him:
“Sacred Otto! Why so unsociable?”
“Hush! He has much to think about. You don’t understand what the cares of—”
“Come, old Otto, a drink!”
He shook them off with mixture of affected39 anger and genuine spitting oaths. He avoided their eyes and spat40 blasphemously41 at his beer. He avoided the café for some days.
Kreisler then recovered.
At first nothing much happened. He had just gone back again into the midst of his machinery42 like a bone slipped into its place, with a soft crick. He became rather more firm with his creditors. He changed his rooms (moving then to the Boulevard Pfeiffer), passed an occasional evening with the Germans at the Berne, and started a portrait of Suzanne, who had been sitting at the school.
“How is Herr Volker? Is he out of Paris?” Fr?ulein Lipmann asked him when they met. “Come round and see us.”
People’s actual or possible proceedings43 formed in very hard-and-fast mould in Kreisler’s mind, seen not with realism, but through conventions of his suspicious irony44. This solicitude45 as to Volker he contrasted with their probable indifference46 as regards his old, shabby, and impolite self.
But he went round, his reception being insipid47. He had shown no signs of animation48 or interest in them. Both he and the ladies were rather doubtful as to why he came at all. No pleasure resulted on either side from these visits, yet they doggedly49 continued. A distinct and steady fall in the temperature could be observed. He sneered50, as though the aimlessness of his visits were an insult that had at last been taken up. They would have been for ever discontinued except for a sudden necessity to reopen that channel of bourgeois51 intercourse52.
点击收听单词发音
1 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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2 hospitable | |
adj.好客的;宽容的;有利的,适宜的 | |
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3 creditors | |
n.债权人,债主( creditor的名词复数 ) | |
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4 concierge | |
n.管理员;门房 | |
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5 omen | |
n.征兆,预兆;vt.预示 | |
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6 obsequiously | |
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7 depressed | |
adj.沮丧的,抑郁的,不景气的,萧条的 | |
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8 ridicule | |
v.讥讽,挖苦;n.嘲弄 | |
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9 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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10 magnetism | |
n.磁性,吸引力,磁学 | |
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11 inevitably | |
adv.不可避免地;必然发生地 | |
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12 awaken | |
vi.醒,觉醒;vt.唤醒,使觉醒,唤起,激起 | |
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13 sluggishly | |
adv.懒惰地;缓慢地 | |
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14 billiards | |
n.台球 | |
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15 compendious | |
adj.简要的,精简的 | |
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16 ousted | |
驱逐( oust的过去式和过去分词 ); 革职; 罢黜; 剥夺 | |
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17 superstition | |
n.迷信,迷信行为 | |
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18 aplomb | |
n.沉着,镇静 | |
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19 inertia | |
adj.惰性,惯性,懒惰,迟钝 | |
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20 poetic | |
adj.富有诗意的,有诗人气质的,善于抒情的 | |
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21 moody | |
adj.心情不稳的,易怒的,喜怒无常的 | |
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22 wastefulness | |
浪费,挥霍,耗费 | |
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23 futility | |
n.无用 | |
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24 basked | |
v.晒太阳,取暖( bask的过去式和过去分词 );对…感到乐趣;因他人的功绩而出名;仰仗…的余泽 | |
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25 disappearance | |
n.消失,消散,失踪 | |
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26 epic | |
n.史诗,叙事诗;adj.史诗般的,壮丽的 | |
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27 parasite | |
n.寄生虫;寄生菌;食客 | |
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28 hopped | |
跳上[下]( hop的过去式和过去分词 ); 单足蹦跳; 齐足(或双足)跳行; 摘葎草花 | |
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29 exasperated | |
adj.恼怒的 | |
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30 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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31 alleged | |
a.被指控的,嫌疑的 | |
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32 aloofness | |
超然态度 | |
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33 splice | |
v.接合,衔接;n.胶接处,粘接处 | |
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34 eldest | |
adj.最年长的,最年老的 | |
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35 gregarious | |
adj.群居的,喜好群居的 | |
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36 puckered | |
v.(使某物)起褶子或皱纹( pucker的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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37 descended | |
a.为...后裔的,出身于...的 | |
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38 jaw | |
n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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39 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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40 spat | |
n.口角,掌击;v.发出呼噜呼噜声 | |
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41 blasphemously | |
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42 machinery | |
n.(总称)机械,机器;机构 | |
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43 proceedings | |
n.进程,过程,议程;诉讼(程序);公报 | |
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44 irony | |
n.反语,冷嘲;具有讽刺意味的事,嘲弄 | |
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45 solicitude | |
n.焦虑 | |
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46 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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47 insipid | |
adj.无味的,枯燥乏味的,单调的 | |
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48 animation | |
n.活泼,兴奋,卡通片/动画片的制作 | |
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49 doggedly | |
adv.顽强地,固执地 | |
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50 sneered | |
讥笑,冷笑( sneer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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51 bourgeois | |
adj./n.追求物质享受的(人);中产阶级分子 | |
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52 intercourse | |
n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
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