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CHAPTER XVII. "PARTICULARLY PROUD OF YOU."
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Arabella Trefoil left her uncle's mansion1 on the day after her lover's departure, certainly not in triumph, but with somewhat recovered spirits. When she first heard that Lord Rufford was gone,—that he had fled away as it were in the middle of the night without saying a word to her, without a syllable2 to make good the slight assurances of his love that had been given to her in the post carriage, she felt that she was deserted3 and betrayed. And when she found herself altogether neglected on the following day, and that the slightly valuable impression which she had made on her aunt was apparently4 gone, she did for half an hour think in earnest of the Paragon5 and Patagonia. But after a while she called to mind all that she knew of great efforts successfully made in opposition6 to almost overwhelming difficulties. She had heard of forlorn hopes, and perhaps in her young days had read something of C?sar still clinging to his Commentaries as he struggled in the waves. This was her forlorn hope, and she would be as brave as any soldier of them all. Lord Rufford's embraces were her Commentaries, and let the winds blow and the waves roll as they might she would still cling to them. After lunch she spoke7 to her aunt with great courage,—as the Duchess thought with great effrontery8. "My uncle wouldn't speak to Lord Rufford before he went?"

"How could he speak to a man who ran away from his house in that way?"

"The running away, as you call it, aunt, did not take place till two days after I had told you all about it. I thought he would have done as much as that for his brother's daughter."

"I don't believe in it at all," said the Duchess sternly.

"Don't believe in what, aunt? You don't mean to say that you don't believe that Lord Rufford has asked me to be his wife!" Then she paused, but the Duchess absolutely lacked the courage to express her conviction again. "I don't suppose it signifies much," continued Arabella, "but of course it would have been something to me that Lord Rufford should have known that the Duke was anxious for my welfare. He was quite prepared to have assured my uncle of his intentions."

"Then why didn't he speak himself?"

"Because the Duke is not my father. Really, aunt, when I hear you talk of his running away I do feel it to be unkind. As if we didn't all know that a man like that goes and comes as he pleases. It was just before dinner that he got the message, and was he to run round and wish everybody good-bye like a schoolgirl going to bed?"

The Duchess was almost certain that no message had come, and from various little things which she had observed and from tidings which had reached her, very much doubted whether Arabella had known anything of his intended going. She too had a maid of her own who on occasions could bring information. But she had nothing further to say on the subject. If Arabella should ever become Lady Rufford she would of course among other visitors be occasionally received at Mistletoe. She could never be a favourite, but things would to a certain degree have rectified9 themselves. But if, as the Duchess expected, no such marriage took place, then this ill-conducted niece should never be admitted within the house again.

Later on in the afternoon, some hours after it became dusk, Arabella contrived10 to meet her aunt in the hall with a letter in her hand, and asked where the letter-box was. She knew where to deposit her letters as well as did the Duchess herself; but she desired an opportunity of proclaiming what she had done. "I am writing to Lord Rufford. Perhaps as I am in your house I ought to tell you what I have done."

"The letter-box is in the billiard-room, close to the door," said the Duchess passing on. Then she added as she went, "The post for to-day has gone already."

"His Lordship will have to wait a day for his letter. I dare say it won't break his heart," said Arabella, as she turned away to the billiard-room.

All this had been planned; and, moreover, she had so written her letter that if her magnificent aunt should condescend11 to tamper12 with it all that was in it should seem to corroborate13 her own story. The Duchess would have considered herself disgraced if ever she had done such a thing;—but the niece of the Duchess did not quite understand that this would be so. The letter was as follows:
 

    Mistletoe, 19th Jany. 1875.

    Dearest R.,

    Your going off like that was, after all, very horrid14. My aunt thinks that you were running away from me. I think that you were running away from her. Which was true? In real earnest I don't for a moment think that either I or the Duchess had anything to do with it, and that you did go because some horrid man wrote and asked you. I know you don't like being bound by any of the conventionalities. I hope there is such a word, and that if not, you'll understand it just the same.

    Oh, Peltry,—and oh, Jack15,—and oh, that road back to Stamford! I am so stiff that I can't sit upright, and everybody is cross to me, and everything is uncomfortable. What horrible things women are! There isn't one here, not even old Lady Rumpus, who hasn't an unmarried daughter left in the world, who isn't jealous of me, because—because—. I must leave you to guess why they all hate me so! And I'm sure if you had given Jack to any other woman I should hate her, though you may give every horse you have to any man that you please. I wonder whether I shall have another day's hunting before it is all over. I suppose not. It was almost by a miracle that we managed yesterday—only fancy—yesterday! It seems to be an age ago!

    Pray, pray, pray write to me at once,—to the Connop Greens, so that I may get a nice, soft, pleasant word directly I get among those nasty, hard, unpleasant people. They have lots of money, and plenty of furniture, and I dare say the best things to eat and drink in the world,—but nothing else. There will be no Jack; and if there were, alas16, alas, no one to show me the way to ride him.

    I start to-morrow, and as far as I understand, shall have to make my way into Hampshire all by myself, with only such security as my maid can give me. I shall make her go in the same carriage and shall have the gratification of looking at her all the way. I suppose I ought not to say that I will shut my eyes and try to think that somebody else is there.

    Good-bye dear, dear, dear R. I shall be dying for a letter from you. Yours ever, with all my heart. A.

    I shall write you such a serious epistle when I get to the Greens.
    

This was not such a letter as she thought that her aunt would approve; but it was, she fancied, such as the Duchess would believe that she would write to her lover. And if it were allowed to go on its way it would make Lord Rufford feel that she was neither alarmed nor displeased17 by the suddenness of his departure. But it was not expected to do much good. It might produce some short, joking, half-affectionate reply, but would not draw from him that serious word which was so necessary for the success of her scheme. Therefore she had told him that she intended to prepare a serious missile. Should this pleasant little message of love miscarry, the serious missile would still be sent, and the miscarriage18 would occasion no harm.

But then further plans were necessary. It might be that Lord Rufford would take no notice of the serious missile,—which she thought very probable. Or it might be that he would send back a serious reply, in which he would calmly explain to her that she had unfortunately mistaken his sentiments;—which she believed would be a stretch of manhood beyond his reach. But in either case she would be prepared with the course which she would follow. In the first she would begin by forcing her father to write to him a letter which she herself would dictate19. In the second she would set the whole family at him as far as the family were within her reach. With her cousin Lord Mistletoe, who was only two years older than herself, she had always held pleasant relations. They had been children together, and as they had grown up the young Lord had liked his pretty cousin. Latterly they had seen each other but rarely, and therefore the feeling still remained. She would tell Lord Mistletoe her whole story,—that is the story as she would please to tell it,—and implore20 his aid. Her father should be driven to demand from Lord Rufford an execution of his alleged21 promises. She herself would write such a letter to the Duke as an uncle should be unable not to notice. She would move heaven and earth as to her wrongs. She thought that if her friends would stick to her, Lord Rufford would be weak as water in their hands. But it must be all done immediately,—so that if everything failed she might be ready to start to Patagonia some time in April. When she looked back and remembered that it was hardly more than two months since she had been taken to Rufford Hall by Mr. Morton she could not accuse herself of having lost any time.

In London she met her mother,—as to which meeting there had been some doubt,—and underwent the tortures of a close examination. She had thought it prudent22 on this occasion to tell her mother something, but not to tell anything quite truly. "He has proposed to me," she said.

"He has!" said Lady Augustus, holding up her hands almost in awe23.

"Is there anything so wonderful in that?"

"Then it is all arranged. Does the Duke know it?"

"It is not all arranged by any means, and the Duke does know it. Now, mamma, after that I must decline to answer any more questions. I have done this all myself, and I mean to continue it in the same way."

"Did he speak to the Duke? You will tell me that."

"I will tell you nothing."

"You will drive me mad, Arabella."

"That will be better than your driving me mad just at present. You ought to feel that I have a great deal to think of."

"And have not I?"

"You can't help me;—not at present."

"But he did propose,—in absolute words?"

"Mamma, what a goose you are! Do you suppose that men do it all now just as it is done in books? 'Miss Arabella Trefoil, will you do me the honour to become my wife?' Do you think that Lord Rufford would ask the question in that way?"

"It is a very good way."

"Any way is a good way that answers the purpose. He has proposed, and I mean to make him stick to it."

"You doubt then?"

"Mamma, you are so silly! Do you not know what such a man is well enough to be sure that he'll change his mind half-a-dozen times if he can? I don't mean to let him; and now, after that, I won't say another word."

"I have got a letter here from Mr. Short saying that something must be fixed24 about Mr. Morton." Mr. Short was the lawyer who had been instructed to prepare the settlements.

"Mr. Short may do whatever he likes," said Arabella. There were very hot words between them that night in London, but the mother could obtain no further information from her daughter.

That serious epistle had been commenced even before Arabella had left Mistletoe; but the composition was one which required great care, and it was not completed and copied and recopied till she had been two days in Hampshire. Not even when it was finished did she say a word to her mother about it. She had doubted much as to the phrases which in such an emergency she ought to use, but she thought it safer to trust to herself than to her mother. In writing such a letter as that posted at Mistletoe she believed herself to be happy. She could write it quickly, and understood that she could convey to her correspondent some sense of her assumed mood. But her serious letter would, she feared, be stiff and repulsive25. Whether her fears were right the reader shall judge,—for the letter when written was as follows:
 

    Marygold Place, Basingstoke,
    Saturday.

    My dear Lord Rufford,

    You will I suppose have got the letter that I wrote before I left Mistletoe, and which I directed to Mr. Surbiton's. There was not much in it,—except a word or two as to your going and as to my desolation, and just a reminiscence of the hunting. There was no reproach that you should have left me without any farewell, or that you should have gone so suddenly, after saying so much, without saying more. I wanted you to feel that you had made me very happy, and not to feel that your departure in such a way had robbed me of part of the happiness.

    It was a little bad of you, because it did of course leave me to the hardness of my aunt; and because all the other women there would of course follow her. She had inquired about our journey home, that dear journey home, and I had of course told her,—well I had better say it out at once; I told her that we were engaged. You, I am sure, will think that the truth was best. She wanted to know why you did not go to the Duke. I told her that the Duke was not my father; but that as far as I was concerned the Duke might speak to you or not as he pleased. I had nothing to conceal26. I am very glad he did not, because he is pompous27, and you would have been bored. If there is one thing I desire more than another it is that nothing belonging to me shall ever be a bore to you. I hope I may never stand in the way of anything that will gratify you,—as I said when you lit that cigar. You will have forgotten, I dare say. But, dear Rufford,—dearest; I may say that, mayn't I?—say something, or do something to make me satisfied. You know what I mean;—don't you? It isn't that I am a bit afraid myself. I don't think so little of myself, or so badly of you. But I don't like other women to look at me as though I ought not to be proud of anything. I am proud of everything; particularly proud of you,—and of Jack.

    Now there is my serious epistle, and I am sure that you will answer it like a dear, good, kind-hearted, loving—lover. I won't be afraid of writing the word, nor of saying that I love you with all my heart, and that I am always your own

    Arabella.
    

She kept the letter till the Sunday, thinking that she might have an answer to that written from Mistletoe, and that his reply might alter its tone, or induce her to put it aside altogether; but when on Sunday morning none came, her own was sent. The word in it which frightened herself was the word "engaged." She tried various other phrases, but declared to herself at last that it was useless to "beat about the bush." He must know the light in which she was pleased to regard those passages of love which she had permitted so that there might be no mistake. Whether the letter would be to his liking28 or not, it must be of such a nature that it would certainly draw from him an answer on which she could act. She herself did not like the letter; but, considering her difficulties, we may own that it was not much amiss.

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 mansion 8BYxn     
n.大厦,大楼;宅第
参考例句:
  • The old mansion was built in 1850.这座古宅建于1850年。
  • The mansion has extensive grounds.这大厦四周的庭园广阔。
2 syllable QHezJ     
n.音节;vt.分音节
参考例句:
  • You put too much emphasis on the last syllable.你把最后一个音节读得太重。
  • The stress on the last syllable is light.最后一个音节是轻音节。
3 deserted GukzoL     
adj.荒芜的,荒废的,无人的,被遗弃的
参考例句:
  • The deserted village was filled with a deathly silence.这个荒废的村庄死一般的寂静。
  • The enemy chieftain was opposed and deserted by his followers.敌人头目众叛亲离。
4 apparently tMmyQ     
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎
参考例句:
  • An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽,豁然开朗。
  • He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
5 paragon 1KexV     
n.模范,典型
参考例句:
  • He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
  • Man is the paragon of animals.人是万物之灵。
6 opposition eIUxU     
n.反对,敌对
参考例句:
  • The party leader is facing opposition in his own backyard.该党领袖在自己的党內遇到了反对。
  • The police tried to break down the prisoner's opposition.警察设法制住了那个囚犯的反抗。
7 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
8 effrontery F8xyC     
n.厚颜无耻
参考例句:
  • This is a despicable fraud . Just imagine that he has the effrontery to say it.这是一个可耻的骗局. 他竟然有脸说这样的话。
  • One could only gasp at the sheer effrontery of the man.那人十足的厚颜无耻让人们吃惊得无话可说。
9 rectified 8714cd0fa53a5376ba66b0406599eb20     
[医]矫正的,调整的
参考例句:
  • I am hopeful this misunderstanding will be rectified very quickly. 我相信这个误会将很快得到纠正。
  • That mistake could have been rectified within 28 days. 那个错误原本可以在28天内得以纠正。
10 contrived ivBzmO     
adj.不自然的,做作的;虚构的
参考例句:
  • There was nothing contrived or calculated about what he said.他说的话里没有任何蓄意捏造的成分。
  • The plot seems contrived.情节看起来不真实。
11 condescend np7zo     
v.俯就,屈尊;堕落,丢丑
参考例句:
  • Would you condescend to accompany me?你肯屈尊陪我吗?
  • He did not condescend to answer.He turned his back on me.他不愿屈尊回答我的问题。他不理睬我。
12 tamper 7g3zom     
v.干预,玩弄,贿赂,窜改,削弱,损害
参考例句:
  • Do not tamper with other's business.不要干预别人的事。
  • They had strict orders not to tamper with the customs of the minorities.他们得到命令严禁干涉少数民族的风俗习惯。
13 corroborate RoVzf     
v.支持,证实,确定
参考例句:
  • He looked at me anxiously,as if he hoped I'd corroborate this.他神色不安地看着我,仿佛他希望我证实地的话。
  • It appeared that what he said went to corroborate my account.看来他所说的和我叙述的相符。
14 horrid arozZj     
adj.可怕的;令人惊恐的;恐怖的;极讨厌的
参考例句:
  • I'm not going to the horrid dinner party.我不打算去参加这次讨厌的宴会。
  • The medicine is horrid and she couldn't get it down.这种药很难吃,她咽不下去。
15 jack 53Hxp     
n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克
参考例句:
  • I am looking for the headphone jack.我正在找寻头戴式耳机插孔。
  • He lifted the car with a jack to change the flat tyre.他用千斤顶把车顶起来换下瘪轮胎。
16 alas Rx8z1     
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)
参考例句:
  • Alas!The window is broken!哎呀!窗子破了!
  • Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而,真理很少带有浪漫色彩。
17 displeased 1uFz5L     
a.不快的
参考例句:
  • The old man was displeased and darted an angry look at me. 老人不高兴了,瞪了我一眼。
  • He was displeased about the whole affair. 他对整个事情感到很不高兴。
18 miscarriage Onvzz3     
n.失败,未达到预期的结果;流产
参考例句:
  • The miscarriage of our plans was a great blow.计划的失败给我们以巨大的打击。
  • Women who smoke are more to have a miscarriage.女性吸烟者更容易流产。
19 dictate fvGxN     
v.口授;(使)听写;指令,指示,命令
参考例句:
  • It took him a long time to dictate this letter.口述这封信花了他很长时间。
  • What right have you to dictate to others?你有什么资格向别人发号施令?
20 implore raSxX     
vt.乞求,恳求,哀求
参考例句:
  • I implore you to write. At least tell me you're alive.请给我音讯,让我知道你还活着。
  • Please implore someone else's help in a crisis.危险时请向别人求助。
21 alleged gzaz3i     
a.被指控的,嫌疑的
参考例句:
  • It was alleged that he had taken bribes while in office. 他被指称在任时收受贿赂。
  • alleged irregularities in the election campaign 被指称竞选运动中的不正当行为
22 prudent M0Yzg     
adj.谨慎的,有远见的,精打细算的
参考例句:
  • A prudent traveller never disparages his own country.聪明的旅行者从不贬低自己的国家。
  • You must school yourself to be modest and prudent.你要学会谦虚谨慎。
23 awe WNqzC     
n.敬畏,惊惧;vt.使敬畏,使惊惧
参考例句:
  • The sight filled us with awe.这景色使我们大为惊叹。
  • The approaching tornado struck awe in our hearts.正在逼近的龙卷风使我们惊恐万分。
24 fixed JsKzzj     
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的
参考例句:
  • Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗?
  • Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定,我们就不应该随意改变。
25 repulsive RsNyx     
adj.排斥的,使人反感的
参考例句:
  • She found the idea deeply repulsive.她发现这个想法很恶心。
  • The repulsive force within the nucleus is enormous.核子内部的斥力是巨大的。
26 conceal DpYzt     
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽
参考例句:
  • He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方,他只好隐瞒身份。
  • He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。
27 pompous 416zv     
adj.傲慢的,自大的;夸大的;豪华的
参考例句:
  • He was somewhat pompous and had a high opinion of his own capabilities.他有点自大,自视甚高。
  • He is a good man underneath his pompous appearance. 他的外表虽傲慢,其实是个好人。
28 liking mpXzQ5     
n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢
参考例句:
  • The word palate also means taste or liking.Palate这个词也有“口味”或“嗜好”的意思。
  • I must admit I have no liking for exaggeration.我必须承认我不喜欢夸大其词。


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