Up to Saturday evening Mr. Crawley did the work of his parish, and on the Saturday evening he made an address to his parishioners from his pulpit. He had given notice among the brickmakers and labourers that he wished to say a few words to them in the school-room; but the farmers also heard of this and came with their wives and daughters, and all the brickmakers came, and most of the labourers were there, so that there was no room for them in the school-house. The congregation was much larger than was customary even in the church. "They will come," he said to his wife, "to hear a ruined man declare his own ruin, but they will not come to hear the word of God." When it was found that the persons assembled were too many for the school-room, the meeting was adjourned12 to the church, and Mr. Crawley was forced to get into his pulpit. He said a short prayer, and then he began his story.
"They will come to hear a ruined man declare his own ruin."
"They will come to hear a ruined man declare his own ruin."
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His story as he told it then shall not be repeated now, as the same story has been told too often already in these pages. Surely it was a singular story for a parish clergyman to tell of himself in so solemn a manner. That he had applied13 the cheque to his own purposes, and was unable to account for the possession of it, was certain. He did not know when or how he had got it. Speaking to them then in God's house he told them that. He was to be tried by a jury, and all he could do was to tell the jury the same. He would not expect the jury to believe him. The jury would, of course, believe only that which was proved to them. But he did expect his old friends at Hogglestock, who had known him so long, to take his word as true. That there was no sufficient excuse for his conduct, even in his own sight, this, his voluntary resignation of his parish, was, he said, sufficient evidence. Then he explained to them, as clearly as he was able, what the bishop had done, what the commission had done, and what he had done himself. That he spoke14 no word of Mrs. Proudie to that audience need hardly be mentioned here. "And now, dearest friends, I leave you," he said, with that weighty solemnity which was so peculiar15 to the man, and which he was able to make singularly impressive even on such a congregation as that of Hogglestock, "and I trust that the heavy but pleasing burden of the charge which I have had over you may fall into hands better fitted than mine have been for such work. I have always known my own unfitness, by reason of the worldly cares with which I have been laden16. Poverty makes the spirit poor, and the hands weak, and the heart sore,—and too often makes the conscience dull. May the latter never be the case with any of you." Then he uttered another short prayer, and, stepping down from the pulpit, walked out of the church, with his weeping wife hanging on his arm, and his daughter following them, almost dissolved in tears. He never again entered that church as the pastor17 of the congregation.
There was an old lame18 man from Hoggle End leaning on his stick near the door as Mr. Crawley went out, and with him was his old lame wife. "He'll pull through yet," said the old man to his wife; "you'll see else. He'll pull through because he's so dogged. It's dogged as does it."
On that night the position of the members of Mr. Crawley's household seemed to have been changed. There was something almost of elation19 in his mode of speaking, and he said soft loving words, striving to comfort his wife. She, on the other hand, could say nothing to comfort him. She had been averse20 to the step he was taking, but had been unable to press her objection in opposition21 to his great argument as to duty. Since he had spoken to her in that strain which he had used with Robarts, she also had felt that she must be silent. But she could not even feign22 to feel the pride which comes from the performance of a duty. "What will he do when he comes out?" she said to her daughter. The coming out spoken of by her was the coming out of prison. It was natural enough that she should feel no elation.
The breakfast on Sunday morning was to her, perhaps, the saddest scene of her life. They sat down, the three together, at the usual hour,—nine o'clock,—but the morning had not been passed as was customary on Sundays. It had been Mr. Crawley's practice to go into the school from eight to nine; but on this Sunday he felt, as he told his wife, that his presence would be an intrusion there. But he requested Jane to go and perform her usual task. "If Mr. Thumble should come," he said to her, "be submissive to him in all things." Then he stood at his door, watching to see at what hour Mr. Thumble would reach the school. But Mr. Thumble did not attend the school on that morning. "And yet he was very express to me in his desire that I would not myself meddle23 with the duties," said Mr. Crawley to his wife as he stood at the door,—"unnecessarily urgent, as I must say I thought at the time." If Mrs. Crawley could have spoken out her thoughts about Mr. Thumble at that moment, her words would, I think, have surprised her husband.
At breakfast there was hardly a word spoken. Mr. Crawley took his crust and eat it mournfully,—almost ostentatiously. Jane tried and failed, and tried to hide her failure, failing in that also. Mrs. Crawley made no attempt. She sat behind her old teapot, with her hands clasped and her eyes fixed24. It was as though some last day had come upon her,—this, the first Sunday of her husband's degradation25. "Mary," he said to her, "why do you not eat?"
"I cannot," she replied, speaking not in a whisper, but in words which would hardly get themselves articulated. "I cannot. Do not ask me."
"For the honour of the Lord you will want the strength which bread alone can give you," he said, intimating to her that he wished her to attend the service.
"Do not ask me to be there, Josiah. I cannot. It is too much for me."
"Nay26; I will not press it," he said. "I can go alone." He uttered no word expressive27 of a wish that his daughter should attend the church; but when the moment came, Jane accompanied him. "What shall I do, mamma," she said, "if I find I cannot bear it?" "Try to bear it," the mother said. "Try, for his sake. You are stronger now than I am."
The tinkle28 of the church bell was heard at the usual time, and Mr. Crawley, hat in hand, stood ready to go forth29. He had heard nothing of Mr. Thumble, but had made up his mind that Mr. Thumble would not trouble him. He had taken the precaution to request his churchwarden to be early at the church, so that Mr. Thumble might encounter no difficulty. The church was very near to the house, and any vehicle arriving might have been seen had Mr. Crawley watched closely. But no one had cared to watch Mr. Thumble's arrival at the church. He did not doubt that Mr. Thumble would be at the church. With reference to the school, he had had some doubt.
But just as he was about to start he heard the clatter30 of a gig. Up came Mr. Thumble to the door of the parsonage, and having come down from his gig was about to enter the house as though it were his own. Mr. Crawley greeted him in the pathway, raising his hat from his head, and expressing a wish that Mr. Thumble might not feel himself fatigued31 with his drive. "I will not ask you into my poor house," he said, standing32 in the middle of the pathway; "for that my wife is ill."
"Nothing catching33, I hope?" said Mr. Thumble.
"Her malady34 is of the spirit rather than of the flesh," said Mr. Crawley. "Shall we go on to the church?"
"Certainly,—by all means. How about the surplice?"
"You will find, I trust, that the churchwarden has everything in readiness. I have notified to him expressly your coming, with the purport35 that it may be so."
"You'll take a part in the service, I suppose?" said Mr. Thumble.
"No part,—no part whatever," said Mr. Crawley, standing still for a moment as he spoke, and showing plainly by the tone of his voice how dismayed he was, how indignant he had been made, by so indecent a proposition. Was he giving up his pulpit to a stranger for any reason less cogent36 than one which made it absolutely imperative37 on him to be silent in that church which had so long been his own?
"Just as you please," said Mr. Thumble. "Only it's rather hard lines to have to do it all myself after coming all the way from Barchester this morning." To this Mr. Crawley condescended38 to make no reply whatever.
In the porch of the church, which was the only entrance, Mr. Crawley introduced Mr. Thumble to the churchwarden, simply by a wave of the hand, and then passed on with his daughter to a seat which opened upon the aisle39. Jane was going on to that which she had hitherto always occupied with her mother in the little chancel; but Mr. Crawley would not allow this. Neither to him nor to any of his family was there attached any longer the privilege of using the chancel of the church of Hogglestock.
Mr. Thumble scrambled40 into the reading-desk some ten minutes after the proper time, and went through the morning service under, what must be admitted to be, serious difficulties. There were the eyes of Mr. Crawley fixed upon him throughout the work, and a feeling pervaded41 him that everybody there regarded him as an intruder. At first this was so strong upon him that Mr. Crawley pitied him, and would have encouraged him had it been possible. But as the work progressed, and as custom and the sound of his own voice emboldened42 him, there came to the man some touches of the arrogance43 which so generally accompanies cowardice44, and Mr. Crawley's acute ear detected the moment when it was so. An observer might have seen that the motion of his hands was altered as they were lifted in prayer. Though he was praying, even in prayer he could not forget the man who was occupying his desk.
Then came the sermon, preached very often before, lasting45 exactly half-an-hour, and then Mr. Thumble's work was done. Itinerant46 clergymen, who preach now here and now there, as it had been the lot of Mr. Thumble to do, have at any rate this relief,—that they can preach their sermons often. From the communion-table Mr. Thumble had stated that, in the present peculiar circumstances of the parish, there would be no second service at Hogglestock for the present; and this was all he said or did peculiar to the occasion. The moment the service was over he got into his gig, and was driven back to Barchester.
"Mamma," said Jane, as they sat at their dinner, "such a sermon I am sure was never heard in Hogglestock before. Indeed, you can hardly call it a sermon. It was downright nonsense."
"My dear," said Mr. Crawley, energetically, "keep your criticisms for matters that are profane47; then, though they be childish and silly, they may at least be innocent. Be critical on Euripides, if you must be critical." But when Jane kissed her father after dinner, she, knowing his humour well, felt assured that her remarks had not been taken altogether in ill part.
Mr. Thumble was neither seen nor heard of again in the parish during the entire week.
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1
awed
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| adj.充满敬畏的，表示敬畏的v.使敬畏，使惊惧( awe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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2
bishop
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| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
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3
morsels
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| n.一口( morsel的名词复数 )；（尤指食物）小块，碎屑 | |
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4
bounty
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| n.慷慨的赠予物，奖金；慷慨，大方；施与 | |
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5
repayment
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| n.偿还，偿还款；报酬 | |
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6
interrogated
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| v.询问( interrogate的过去式和过去分词 )；审问；（在计算机或其他机器上）查询 | |
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7
undo
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| vt.解开，松开；取消，撤销 | |
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8
petulantly
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9
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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10
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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11
interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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12
adjourned
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| （使）休会， （使）休庭( adjourn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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14
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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15
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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16
laden
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| adj.装满了的；充满了的；负了重担的；苦恼的 | |
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17
pastor
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| n.牧师，牧人 | |
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18
lame
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| adj.跛的，(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
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19
elation
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| n.兴高采烈，洋洋得意 | |
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20
averse
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| adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的 | |
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21
opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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22
feign
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| vt.假装，佯作 | |
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23
meddle
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| v.干预，干涉，插手 | |
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24
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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25
degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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26
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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27
expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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28
tinkle
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| vi.叮当作响；n.叮当声 | |
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29
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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30
clatter
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| v./n.(使)发出连续而清脆的撞击声 | |
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31
fatigued
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| adj. 疲乏的 | |
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32
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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33
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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34
malady
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| n.病，疾病(通常做比喻) | |
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35
purport
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| n.意义，要旨，大要；v.意味著，做为...要旨，要领是... | |
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36
cogent
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| adj.强有力的，有说服力的 | |
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37
imperative
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| n.命令，需要；规则；祈使语气；adj.强制的；紧急的 | |
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38
condescended
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| 屈尊，俯就( condescend的过去式和过去分词 )； 故意表示和蔼可亲 | |
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39
aisle
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| n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道 | |
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40
scrambled
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| v.快速爬行( scramble的过去式和过去分词 )；攀登；争夺；（军事飞机）紧急起飞 | |
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41
pervaded
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42
emboldened
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| v.鼓励，使有胆量( embolden的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43
arrogance
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| n.傲慢，自大 | |
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44
cowardice
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| n.胆小，怯懦 | |
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45
lasting
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| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
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46
itinerant
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| adj.巡回的；流动的 | |
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47
profane
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| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
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