There are certain small tricks of trade, well known to the lower class of houses in that business to which Brown, Jones, and Robinson had devoted2 themselves, which for a time may no doubt be profitable, but which are very apt to bring disgrace and ruin upon those who practise them. To such tricks as these Mr. Jones was wedded3, and by none of the arguments which he used in favour of a high moral tone of commerce could Robinson prevail upon his partner to abandon them. Nothing could exceed the obstinacy4 and blindness of Mr. Jones during these discussions. When it was explained to him that the conduct he was pursuing was hardly removed,—nay, it was not removed,—from common swindling, he would reply that it was quite as honest as Mr. Robinson's advertisements. He would quote especially those Katakairion shirts which were obtained from Hodges, and of which the sale at 39s. 6d. the half-dozen had by dint5 of a wide circulation of notices become considerable. "If that isn't swindling, I don't know what is," said Jones.
"Do you know what Katakairion means?" said Robinson.
"No; I don't," said Jones. "And I don't want to know."
"Katakairion means 'fitting,'" said Robinson; "and the purchaser has only to take care that the shirt he buys does fit, and then it is Katakairion."
"But we didn't invent them."
"We invented the price and the name, and that's as much as anybody does. But that is not all. It's a well-understood maxim6 in trade, that a man may advertise whatever he chooses. We advertise to attract notice, not to state facts. But it's a mean thing to pass off a false article over the counter. If you will ticket your goods, you should sell them according to the ticket."
At first, the other partners had not objected to this ticketing, as the practice is now common, and there is at first sight an apparent honesty about it which has its seduction. A lady seeing 21s. 7d. marked on a mantle7 in the window, is able to contemplate8 the desired piece of goods and to compare it, in silent leisure, with her finances. She can use all her power of eye, but, as a compensation to the shopkeeper, is debarred from the power of touch; and then, having satisfied herself as to the value of the thing inspected, she can go in and buy without delay or trouble to the vendor9. But it has been found by practice that so true are the eyes of ladies that it is useless to expose in shop-windows articles which are not good of their kind, and cheap at the price named. To attract customers in this way, real bargains must be exhibited; and when this is done, ladies take advantage of the unwary tradesman, and unintended sacrifices are made. George Robinson soon perceived this, and suggested that the ticketing should be abandoned. Jones, however, persevered10, observing that he knew how to remedy the evil inherent in the system. Hence difficulties arose, and, ultimately, disgrace, which was very injurious to the Firm, and went near to break the heart of Mr. Brown.
According to Jones's plan, the articles ticketed in the window were not, under any circumstances, to be sold. The shopmen, indeed, were forbidden to remove them from their positions under any entreaties11 or threats from the customers. The customer was to be at first informed, with all the blandishment at the shopman's command, that the goods furnished within the shop were exact counterparts of those exposed. Then the shopman was to argue that the arrangements of the window could not be disturbed. And should a persistent12 purchaser after that insist on a supposed legal right, to buy the very thing ticketed, Mr. Jones was to be called; in which case Mr. Jones would inform the persistent purchaser that she was regarded as unreasonable13, violent, and disagreeable; and that, under such circumstances, her custom was not wanted by Brown, Jones, and Robinson. The disappointed female would generally leave the shop with some loud remarks as to swindling, dishonesty, and pettifogging, to which Mr. Jones could turn a deaf ear. But sometimes worse than this would ensue; ladies would insist on their rights; scrambles14 would occur in order that possession of the article might be obtained; the assistants in the shop would not always take part with Mr. Jones; and, as has been before said, serious difficulties would arise.
There can be no doubt that Jones was very wrong. He usually was wrong. His ideas of trade were mean, limited, and altogether inappropriate to business on a large scale. But, nevertheless, we cannot pass on to the narration15 of a circumstance as it did occur, without expressing our strong abhorrence16 of those ladies who are desirous of purchasing cheap goods to the manifest injury of the tradesmen from whom they buy them. The ticketing of goods at prices below their value is not to our taste, but the purchasing of such goods is less so. The lady who will take advantage of a tradesman, that she may fill her house with linen17, or cover her back with finery, at his cost, and in a manner which her own means would not fairly permit, is, in our estimation,—a robber. It is often necessary that tradesmen should advertise tremendous sacrifices. It is sometimes necessary that they should actually make such sacrifices. Brown, Jones, and Robinson have during their career been driven to such a necessity. They have smiled upon their female customers, using their sweetest blandishments, while those female customers have abstracted their goods at prices almost nominal18. Brown, Jones, and Robinson, in forcing such sales, have been coerced19 by the necessary laws of trade; but while smiling with all their blandishments, they have known that the ladies on whom they have smiled have been—robbers.
Why is it that commercial honesty has so seldom charms for women? A woman who would give away the last shawl from her back will insist on smuggling20 her gloves through the Custom-house! Who can make a widow understand that she should not communicate with her boy in the colonies under the dishonest cover of a newspaper? Is not the passion for cheap purchases altogether a female mania21? And yet every cheap purchase,—every purchase made at a rate so cheap as to deny the vendor his fair profit is, in truth, a dishonesty;—a dishonesty to which the purchaser is indirectly22 a party. Would that women could be taught to hate bargains! How much less useless trash would there be in our houses, and how much fewer tremendous sacrifices in our shops!
Brown, Jones, and Robinson, when they had been established some six or eight months, had managed to procure23 from a house in the silk trade a few black silk mantles24 of a very superior description. The lot had been a remnant, and had been obtained with sundry25 other goods at a low figure. But, nevertheless, the proper price at which the house could afford to sell them would exceed the mark of general purchasers in Bishopsgate Street. These came into Mr. Jones' hands, and he immediately resolved to use them for the purposes of the window. Some half-dozen of them were very tastefully arranged upon racks, and were marked at prices which were very tempting26 to ladies of discernment. In the middle of one window there was a copious27 mantle, of silk so thick that it stood almost alone, very full in its dimensions, and admirable in its fashion. This mantle, which would not have been dearly bought for 3l. 10s. or 4l., was injudiciously ticketed at 38s. 11?d. "It will bring dozens of women to the shop," said Jones, "and we have an article of the same shape and colour, which we can do at that price uncommonly28 well." Whether or no the mantle had brought dozens of women into the shop, cannot now be said, but it certainly brought one there whom Brown, Jones, and Robinson will long remember.
Mrs. Morony was an Irishwoman who, as she assured the magistrates30 in Worship Street, had lived in the very highest circles in Limerick, and had come from a princely stock in the neighbouring county of Glare. She was a full-sized lady, not without a certain amount of good looks, though at the period of her intended purchase in Bishopsgate Street, she must have been nearer fifty than forty. Her face was florid, if not red, her arms were thick and powerful, her eyes were bright, but, as seen by Brown, Jones, and Robinson, not pleasant to the view, and she always carried with her an air of undaunted resolution. When she entered the shop, she was accompanied by a thin, acrid31, unmarried female friend, whose feminine charms by no means equalled her own. She might be of about the same age, but she had more of the air and manner of advanced years. Her nose was long, narrow and red; her eyes were set very near together; she was tall and skimpy in all her proportions; and her name was Miss Biles. Of the name and station of Mrs. Morony, or of Miss Biles, nothing was of course known when they entered the shop; but with all these circumstances, B., J., and R. were afterwards made acquainted.
"I believe I'll just look at that pelisse, if you plaze," said Mrs. Morony, addressing herself to a young man who stood near to the window in which the mantle was displayed.
"Certainly, ma'am," said the man. "If you'll step this way, I'll show you the article."
"I see the article there," said Mrs. Morony, poking32 at it with her parasol. Standing33 where she did she was just able to touch it in this way. "That's the one I mane, with the price;—how much was it, Miss Biles?"
"One, eighteen, eleven and a halfpenny," said Miss Biles, who had learned the figures by heart before she ventured to enter the shop.
"If you'll do me the favour to step this way I'll show you the same article," said the man, who was now aware that it was his first duty to get the ladies away from that neighbourhood.
But Mrs. Morony did not move. "It's the one there that I'm asking ye for," said she, pointing again, and pointing this time with the hooked end of her parasol. "I'll throuble ye, young man, to show me the article with the ticket."
"The identical pelisse, if you please, sir," said Miss Biles, "which you there advertise as for sale at one, eighteen, eleven and a halfpenny." And then she pressed her lips together, and looked at the shopman with such vehemence34 that her two eyes seemed to grow into one.
The poor man knew that he was in a difficulty, and cast his eyes across the shop for assistance. Jones, who in his own branch was ever on the watch,—and let praise for that diligence be duly given to him,—had seen from the first what was in the wind. From the moment in which the stout35 lady had raised her parasol he felt that a battle was imminent36; but he had thought it prudent37 to abstain38 awhile from the combat himself. He hovered39 near, however, as personal protection might be needed on behalf of the favourite ornament40 of his window.
"I'll throuble you, if you plaze, sir, to raich me that pelisse," said Mrs. Morony.
"We never disturb our window," said the man, "but we keep the same article in the shop."
"Don't you be took in by that, Mrs. Morony," said Miss Biles.
"I don't mane," said Mrs. Morony. "I shall insist, sir—"
Now was the moment in which, as Jones felt, the interference of the general himself was necessary. Mrs. Morony was in the act of turning herself well round towards the window, so as to make herself sure of her prey41 when she should resolve on grasping it. Miss Biles had already her purse in her hand, ready to pay the legal claim. It was clear to be seen that the enemy was of no mean skill and of great valour. The intimidation42 of Mrs. Morony might be regarded as a feat43 beyond the power of man. Her florid countenance44 had already become more than ordinarily rubicund45, and her nostrils46 were breathing anger.
"Ma'am," said Mr. Jones, stepping up and ineffectually attempting to interpose himself between her and the low barrier which protected the goods exposed to view, "the young man has already told you that we cannot disarrange the window. It is not our habit to do so. If you will do me the honour to walk to a chair, he shall show you any articles which you may desire to inspect."
"Don't you be done," whispered Miss Biles.
"I don't mane, if I know it," said Mrs. Morony, standing her ground manfully. "I don't desire to inspect anything,—only that pelisse."
"I am sorry that we cannot gratify you," said Mr. Jones.
"But you must gratify me. It's for sale, and the money's on it."
"You shall have the same article at the same price;" and Mr. Jones, as he spoke47, endeavoured to press the lady out of her position. "But positively48 you cannot have that. We never break through our rules."
"Chaiting the public is the chief of your rules, I'm thinking," said Mrs. Morony; "but you'll not find it so aisy to chait me. Pay them the money down on the counter, Miss Biles, dear." And so saying she thrust forth49 her parasol, and succeeded in her attempt to dislodge the prey. Knowing well where to strike her blow and obtain a hold, she dragged forth the mantle, and almost got it into her left hand. But Jones could not stand by and see his firm thus robbed. Dreadful as was his foe50 in spirit, size, and strength, his manliness51 was too great for this. So he also dashed forward, and was the first to grasp the silk.
"Are you going to rob the shop?" said he.
"Is it rob?" said Mrs. Morony. "By the powers, thin, ye're the biggest blag-guard my eyes have seen since I've been in London, and that's saying a long word. Is it rob to me? I'll tell you what it is, young man,—av you don't let your fingers off this pelisse that I've purchased, I'll have you before the magisthrates for stailing it. Have you paid the money down, dear?"
Miss Biles was busy counting out the cash, but no one was at hand to take it from her. It was clear that the two confederates had prepared themselves at all points for the contest, having, no doubt, more than once inspected the article from the outside,—for Miss Biles had the exact sum ready, done to the odd halfpenny. "There," said she, appealing to the young man who was nearest to her, "one, eighteen, eleven, and a halfpenny." But the young man was deaf to the charmer, even though she charmed with ready money. "May I trouble you to see that the cash is right." But the young man would not be troubled.
"You'd a deal better leave it go, ma'am," said Jones, "or I shall be obliged to send for the police."
"Is it the police? Faith, thin, and I think you'd better send! Give me my mantilla, I say. It's bought and paid for at your own price."
By this time there was a crowd in the shop, and Jones, in his anxiety to defend the establishment, had closed with Mrs. Morony, and was, as it were, wrestling with her. His effort, no doubt, had been to disengage her hand from the unfortunate mantle; but in doing so, he was led into some slight personal violence towards the lady. And now Miss Biles, having deposited her money, attacked him from behind, declaring that her friend would be murdered.
"Come, hands off. A woman's a woman always!" said one of the crowd who had gathered round them.
"What does the man mean by hauling a female about that way?" said another.
"The poor crathur's nigh murthered wid him intirely," said a countrywoman from the street.
"If she's bought the thingumbob at your own price, why don't you give it her?" asked a fourth.
"I'll be hanged if she shall have it!" said Jones, panting for breath. He was by no means deficient52 in spirit on such an occasion as this.
"And it's my belief you will be hanged," said Miss Biles, who was still working away at his back.
The scene was one which was not creditable to the shop of English tradesmen in the nineteenth century. The young men and girls had come round from behind the counter, but they made no attempt to separate the combatants. Mr. Jones was not loved among them, and the chance of war seemed to run very much in favour of the lady. One discreet53 youth had gone out in quest of a policeman, but he was not successful in his search till he had walked half a mile from the door. Mr. Jones was at last nearly smothered54 in the encounter, for the great weight and ample drapery of Mrs. Morony were beginning to tell upon him. When she got his back against the counter, it was as though a feather bed was upon him. In the meantime the unfortunate mantle had fared badly between them, and was now not worth the purchase-money which, but ten minutes since, had been so eagerly tendered for it.
Things were in this state when Mr. Brown slowly descended55 into the arena56, while George Robinson, standing at the distant doorway57 in the back, looked on with blushing cheeks. One of the girls had explained to Mr. Brown what was the state of affairs, and he immediately attempted to throw oil on the troubled waters.
"Wherefore all this noise?" he said, raising both his hands as he advanced slowly to the spot. "Mr. Jones, I implore58 you to desist!" But Mr. Jones was wedged down upon the counter, and could not desist.
"Madam, what can I do for you?" And he addressed himself to the back of Mrs. Marony, which was still convulsed violently by her efforts to pummel Mr. Jones.
"I believe he's well nigh killed her; I believe he has," said Miss Biles.
Then, at last, the discreet youth returned with three policemen, and the fight was at an end. That the victory was with Mrs. Morony nobody could doubt. She held in her hand all but the smallest fragment of the mantle,—the price of which, however, Miss Biles had been careful to repocket,—and showed no sign of exhaustion59, whereas Jones was speechless. But, nevertheless, she was in tears, and appealed loudly to the police and to the crowd as to her wrongs.
"I'm fairly murthered with him, thin, so I am,—the baist, the villain60, the swindhler. What am I to do at all, and my things all desthroyed? Look at this, thin!" and she held up the cause of war. "Did mortial man iver see the like of that? And I'm beaten black and blue wid him,—so I am." And then she sobbed61 violently.
"So you are, Mrs. Morony," said Miss Biles. "He to call himself a man indeed, and to go to strike a woman!"
"It's thrue for you, dear," continued Mrs. Morony. "Policemen, mind, I give him in charge. You're all witnesses, I give that man in charge."
Mr. Jones, also, was very eager to secure the intervention62 of the police,—much more so than was Mr. Brown, who was only anxious that everybody should retire. Mr. Jones could never be made to understand that he had in any way been wrong. "A firm needn't sell an article unless it pleases," he argued to the magistrate29. "A firm is bound to make good its promises, sir," replied the gentleman in Worship Street. "And no respectable firm would for a moment hesitate to do so." And then he made some remarks of a very severe nature.
Mr. Brown did all that he could to prevent the affair from becoming public. He attempted to bribe63 Mrs. Morony by presenting her with the torn mantle; but she accepted the gift, and then preferred her complaint. He bribed64 the policemen, also; but, nevertheless, the matter got into the newspaper reports. The daily Jupiter, of course, took it up,—for what does it not take up in its solicitude65 for poor British human nature?—and tore Brown, Jones, and Robinson to pieces in a leading article. No punishment could be inflicted66 on the firm, for, as the magistrate said, no offence could be proved. The lady, also, had certainly been wrong to help herself. But the whole affair was damaging in the extreme to Magenta67 House, and gave a terrible check to that rapid trade which had already sprang up under the influence of an extended system of advertising68.
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1
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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wedded
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| adj.正式结婚的；渴望…的，执著于…的v.嫁，娶，（与…）结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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obstinacy
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| n.顽固；（病痛等）难治 | |
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dint
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| n.由于，靠；凹坑 | |
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maxim
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| n.格言，箴言 | |
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mantle
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| n.斗篷，覆罩之物，罩子；v.罩住，覆盖，脸红 | |
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contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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vendor
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| n.卖主；小贩 | |
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persevered
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| v.坚忍，坚持( persevere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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entreaties
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| n.恳求，乞求( entreaty的名词复数 ) | |
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persistent
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| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
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unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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scrambles
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| n.抢夺( scramble的名词复数 )v.快速爬行( scramble的第三人称单数 )；攀登；争夺；（军事飞机）紧急起飞 | |
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narration
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| n.讲述，叙述；故事；记叙体 | |
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abhorrence
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| n.憎恶；可憎恶的事 | |
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linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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nominal
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| adj.名义上的；(金额、租金)微不足道的 | |
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coerced
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| v.迫使做( coerce的过去式和过去分词 )；强迫；（以武力、惩罚、威胁等手段）控制；支配 | |
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smuggling
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| n.走私 | |
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mania
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| n.疯狂；躁狂症，狂热，癖好 | |
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indirectly
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| adv.间接地，不直接了当地 | |
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procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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mantles
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| vt.&vi.覆盖（mantle的第三人称单数形式） | |
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sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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tempting
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| a.诱人的, 吸引人的 | |
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copious
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| adj.丰富的，大量的 | |
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uncommonly
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| adv. 稀罕(极，非常) | |
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magistrate
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| n.地方行政官，地方法官，治安官 | |
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magistrates
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| 地方法官，治安官( magistrate的名词复数 ) | |
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acrid
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| adj.辛辣的，尖刻的，刻薄的 | |
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poking
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| n. 刺，戳，袋 vt. 拨开，刺，戳 vi. 戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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vehemence
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| n.热切；激烈；愤怒 | |
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imminent
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| adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的 | |
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prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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abstain
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| v.自制，戒绝，弃权，避免 | |
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hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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ornament
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| v.装饰，美化；n.装饰，装饰物 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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intimidation
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| n.恐吓，威胁 | |
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feat
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| n.功绩；武艺，技艺；adj.灵巧的，漂亮的，合适的 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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rubicund
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| adj.(脸色)红润的 | |
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nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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47
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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48
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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foe
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| n.敌人，仇敌 | |
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51
manliness
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| 刚毅 | |
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52
deficient
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| adj.不足的，不充份的，有缺陷的 | |
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discreet
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| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
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54
smothered
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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arena
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| n.竞技场，运动场所；竞争场所，舞台 | |
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57
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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58
implore
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| vt.乞求，恳求，哀求 | |
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59
exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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60
villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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61
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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62
intervention
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| n.介入，干涉，干预 | |
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63
bribe
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| n.贿赂；v.向…行贿，买通 | |
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64
bribed
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| v.贿赂( bribe的过去式和过去分词 )；向（某人）行贿，贿赂 | |
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65
solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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66
inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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67
magenta
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| n..紫红色（的染料）；adj.紫红色的 | |
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advertising
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| n.广告业；广告活动 a.广告的；广告业务的 | |
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