But what was he to do in regard to Julia? He was bound to let her know at once what was his position, and to tell her that in treating her as he had treated her, he had simply insulted her. That look of gratified contentment with which she had greeted him as he was leaving her, clung to his memory and tormented8 him. Of that contentment he must now rob her, and he was bound to do so with as little delay as was possible. Early in the morning before he started on his journey he did make an attempt, a vain attempt, to write, not to Florence but to Julia. The letter would not get itself written. He had not the hardihood to inform her that he had amused himself with her sorrows, and that he had injured her by the exhibition of his love. And then that horrid9 Franco-Pole, whose prying10 eyes Julia had dared to disregard, because she had been proud of his love! If she had not been there, the case might have been easier. Harry, as he thought of this, forgot to remind himself that if Sophie had not interrupted him he would have floundered on from one danger to another till he would have committed himself more thoroughly11 even than he had done, and have made promises which it would have been as shameful12 to break as it would be to keep them. But even as it was, had he not made such promises? Was there not such a promise in that embrace, in the half-forgotten word or two which he had spoken while she was in his arms, and in the parting grasp of his hand? He could not write that letter then, on that morning, hurried as he was with the necessity of his journey; and he started for Clavering resolving that it should be written from his father's house.
It was a tedious, sad journey to him, and he was silent and out of spirits when he reached his home; but he had gone there for the purpose of his cousin's funeral, and his mood was not at first noticed, as it might have been had the occasion been different. His father's countenance14 wore that well-known look of customary solemnity which is found to be necessary on such occasions, and his mother was still thinking of the sorrows of Lady Clavering, who had been at the rectory for the last day or two.
"Have you seen Lady Ongar since she heard of the poor child's death?" his mother asked.
"Yes, I was with her yesterday evening."
"Do you see her often?" Fanny inquired.
"What do you call often? No; not often. I went to her last night because she had given me a commission. I have seen her three or four times altogether."
"Is she as handsome as she used to be?" said Fanny.
"I cannot tell; I do not know."
"You used to think her very handsome, Harry."
"Of course she is handsome. There has never been a doubt about that; but when a woman is in deep mourning one hardly thinks about her beauty." Oh, Harry, Harry, how could you be so false?
"I thought young widows were always particularly charming," said Fanny; "and when one remembers about Lord Ongar one does not think of her being a widow so much as one would do if he had been different."
"I don't know anything about that," said he. He felt that he was stupid, and that he blundered in every word, but he could not help himself. It was impossible that he should talk about Lady Ongar with proper composure. Fanny saw that the subject annoyed him and that it made him cross, and she therefore ceased. "She wrote a very nice letter to your mother about the poor child, and about her sister," said the rector. "I wish with all my heart that Hermione could go to her for a time."
"I fear that he will not let her," said Mrs. Clavering. "I do not understand it all, but Hermione says that the rancour between Hugh and her sister is stronger now than ever."
"And Hugh will not be the first to put rancour out of his heart," said the rector.
On the following day was the funeral and Harry went with his father and cousins to the child's grave. When he met Sir Hugh in the dining-room in the Great House the baronet hardly spoke13 to him. "A sad occasion; is it not?" said Archie; "very sad; very sad." Then Harry could see that Hugh scowled15 at his brother angrily, hating his humbug16, and hating it the more because in Archie's case it was doubly humbug. Archie was now heir to the property and to the title.
After the funeral Harry went to see Lady Clavering, and again had to endure a conversation about Lady Ongar. Indeed, he had been specially17 commissioned by Julia to press upon her sister the expediency18 of leaving Clavering for a while. This had been early on that last evening in Bolton Street, long before Madame Gordeloup had made her appearance. "Tell her from me," Lady Ongar had said, "that I will go anywhere that she may wish if she will go with me,—she and I alone; and, Harry, tell her this as though I meant it. I do mean it. She will understand why I do not write myself. I know that he sees all her letters when he is with her." This task Harry was now to perform, and the result he was bound to communicate to Lady Ongar. The message he might give; but delivering the answer to Lady Ongar would be another thing.
Lady Clavering listened to what he said, but when he pressed her for a reply she shook her head. "And why not, Lady Clavering?"
"People can't always leave their houses and go away, Harry."
"But I should have thought that you could have done so now;—that is, before long. Will Sir Hugh remain here at Clavering?"
"He has not told me that he means to go."
"If he stays, I suppose you will stay; but if he goes up to London again, I cannot see why you and your sister should not go away together. She mentioned Tenby as being very quiet, but she would be guided by you in that altogether."
"I do not think it will be possible, Harry. Tell her with my love, that I am truly obliged to her, but that I do not think it will be possible. She is free, you know, to do what she pleases."
"Yes, she is free. But do you mean—?"
"I mean, Harry, that I had better stay where I am. What is the use of a scene, and of being refused at last? Do not say more about it, but tell her that it cannot be so." This Harry promised to do, and after a while was rising to go, when she suddenly asked him a question. "Do you remember what I was saying about Julia and Archie when you were here last?"
"Yes; I remember."
"Well, would he have a chance? It seems that you see more of her now than any one else."
"No chance at all, I should say." And Harry, as he answered, could not repress a feeling of most unreasonable19 jealousy20.
"Ah, you have always thought little of Archie. Archie's position is changed now, Harry, since my darling was taken from me. Of course he will marry, and Hugh, I think, would like him to marry Julia. It was he proposed it. He never likes anything unless he has proposed it himself."
"It was he proposed the marriage with Lord Ongar. Does he like that?"
"Well; you know, Julia has got her money." Harry, as he heard this, turned away, sick at heart. The poor baby whose mother was now speaking to him had only been buried that morning, and she was already making fresh schemes for family wealth. Julia has got her money! That had seemed to her, even in her sorrow, to be sufficient compensation for all that her sister had endured and was enduring. Poor soul! Harry did not reflect as he should have done, that in all her schemes she was only scheming for that peace which might perhaps come to her if her husband were satisfied. "And why should not Julia take him?" she asked.
"I cannot tell why, but she never will," said Harry, almost in anger. At that moment the door was opened, and Sir Hugh came into the room. "I did not know that you were here," Sir Hugh said, turning to the visitor.
"I could not be down here without saying a few words to Lady Clavering."
"The less said the better, I suppose, just at present," said Sir Hugh. But there was no offence in the tone of his voice, or in his countenance, and Harry took the words as meaning none.
"I was telling Lady Clavering that as soon as she can, she would be better if she left home for awhile."
"And why should you tell Lady Clavering that?"
"I have told him that I would not go," said the poor woman.
"Why should she go, and where; and why have you proposed it? And how does it come to pass that her going or not going should be a matter of solicitude22 to you?" Now, as Sir Hugh asked these questions of his cousin, there was much of offence in his tone,—of intended offence,—and in his eye, and in all his bearing. He had turned his back upon his wife, and was looking full into Harry's face. "Lady Clavering, no doubt, is much obliged to you," he said, "but why is it that you specially have interfered23 to recommend her to leave her home at such a time as this?"
Harry had not spoken as he did to Sir Hugh without having made some calculation in his own mind as to the result of what he was about to say. He did not, as regarded himself, care for his cousin or his cousin's anger. His object at present was simply that of carrying out Lady Ongar's wish, and he had thought that perhaps Sir Hugh might not object to the proposal which his wife was too timid to make to him.
"It was a message from her sister," said Harry, "sent by me."
"Upon my word she is very kind. And what was the message,—unless it be a secret between you three?"
"I have had no secret, Hugh," said his wife.
"Let me hear what he has to say," said Sir Hugh.
"Lady Ongar thought that it might be well that her sister should leave Clavering for a short time, and has offered to go anywhere with her for a few weeks. That is all."
"And why the devil should Hermione leave her own house? And if she were to leave it, why should she go with a woman that has misconducted herself?"
"Oh, Hugh!" exclaimed Lady Clavering.
"Lady Ongar has never misconducted herself," said Harry.
"Are you her champion?" asked Sir Hugh.
"As far as that, I am. She has never misconducted herself; and what is more, she has been cruelly used since she came home."
"By whom; by whom?" said Sir Hugh, stepping close up to his cousin and looking with angry eyes into his face.
But Harry Clavering was not a man to be intimidated25 by the angry eyes of any man. "By you," he said, "her brother-in-law;—by you, who made up her wretched marriage, and who, of all others, were the most bound to protect her."
"Oh, Harry, don't, don't!" shrieked26 Lady Clavering.
"Hermione, hold your tongue," said the imperious husband; "or, rather, go away and leave us. I have a word or two to say to Harry Clavering, which had better be said in private."
"I will not go if you are going to quarrel."
"Harry," said Sir Hugh, "I will trouble you to go downstairs before me. If you will step into the breakfast-room I will come to you."
Harry Clavering did as he was bid, and in a few minutes was joined by his cousin in the breakfast-room.
"No doubt you intended to insult me by what you said upstairs." The baronet began in this way after he had carefully shut the door, and had slowly walked up to the rug before the fire, and had there taken his position.
"Not at all; I intended to take the part of an ill-used woman whom you had calumniated27."
"Now look here, Harry, I will have no interference on your part in my affairs, either here or elsewhere. You are a very fine fellow, no doubt, but it is not part of your business to set me or my house in order. After what you have just said before Lady Clavering you will do well not to come here in my absence."
"Neither in your absence nor in your presence."
"As to the latter you may do as you please. And now touching28 my sister-in-law, I will simply recommend you to look after your own affairs."
"I shall look after what affairs I please."
"Of Lady Ongar and her life since her marriage I daresay you know as little as anybody in the world, and I do not suppose it likely that you will learn much from her. She made a fool of you once, and it is on the cards that she may do so again."
"You said just now that you would brook29 no interference in your affairs. Neither will I."
"I don't know that you have any affairs in which any one can interfere24. I have been given to understand that you are engaged to marry that young lady whom your mother brought here one day to dinner. If that be so, I do not see how you can reconcile it to yourself to become the champion, as you called it, of Lady Ongar."
"I never said anything of the kind."
"Yes, you did."
"No; it was you who asked me whether I was her champion."
"And you said you were."
"So far as to defend her name when I heard it traduced30 by you."
"By heavens, your impudence31 is beautiful. Who knows her best, do you think,—you or I? Whose sister-in-law is she? You have told me I was cruel to her. Now to that I will not submit, and I require you to apologize to me."
"I have no apology to make, and nothing to retract32."
"Then I shall tell your father of your gross misconduct, and shall warn him that you have made it necessary for me to turn his son out of my house. You are an impertinent, overbearing puppy, and if your name were not the same as my own, I would tell the grooms33 to horsewhip you off the place."
"Which order, you know, the grooms would not obey. They would a deal sooner horsewhip you. Sometimes I think they will, when I hear you speak to them."
"Now go!"
"Of course I shall go. What would keep me here?"
Sir Hugh then opened the door, and Harry passed through it, not without a cautious look over his shoulder, so that he might be on his guard if any violence were contemplated34. But Hugh knew better than that, and allowed his cousin to walk out of the room, and out of the house, unmolested.
And this had happened on the day of the funeral! Harry Clavering had quarrelled thus with the father within a few hours of the moment in which they two had stood together over the grave of that father's only child! As he thought of this while he walked across the park he became sick at heart. How vile35, wretched and miserable36 was the world around him! How terribly vicious were the people with whom he was dealing37! And what could he think of himself,—of himself, who was engaged to Florence Burton, and engaged also, as he certainly was, to Lady Ongar? Even his cousin had rebuked39 him for his treachery to Florence; but what would his cousin have said had he known all? And then what good had he done;—or rather what evil had he not done? In his attempt on behalf of Lady Clavering had he not, in truth, interfered without proper excuse, and fairly laid himself open to anger from his cousin? And he felt that he had been an ass21, a fool, a conceited40 ass, thinking that he could produce good, when his interference could be efficacious only for evil. Why could he not have held his tongue when Sir Hugh came in, instead of making that vain suggestion as to Lady Clavering? But even this trouble was but an addition to the great trouble that overwhelmed him. How was he to escape the position which he had made for himself in reference to Lady Ongar? As he had left London he had promised to himself that he would write to her that same night and tell her everything as to Florence; but the night had passed, and the next day was nearly gone, and no such letter had been written.
As he sat with his father that evening, he told the story of his quarrel with his cousin. His father shrugged41 his shoulders and raised his eyebrows42. "You are a bolder man than I am," he said. "I certainly should not have dared to advise Hugh as to what he should do with his wife."
"But I did not advise him. I only said that I had been talking to her about it. If he were to say to you that he had been recommending my mother to do this or that, you would not take it amiss?"
"But Hugh is a peculiar43 man."
"No man has a right to be peculiar. Every man is bound to accept such usage as is customary in the world."
"I don't suppose that it will signify much," said the rector. "To have your cousin's doors barred against you, either here or in London, will not injure you."
"Oh, no; it will not injure me; but I do not wish you to think that I have been unreasonable."
The night went by and so did the next day, and still the letter did not get itself written. On the third morning after the funeral he heard that Sir Hugh had gone away; but he, of course, did not go up to the house, remembering well that he had been warned by the master not to do so in the master's absence. His mother, however, went to Lady Clavering, and some intercourse44 between the families was renewed. He had intended to stay but one day after the funeral, but at the end of a week he was still at the rectory. It was Whitsuntide he said, and he might as well take his holiday as he was down there. Of course they were glad that he should remain with them, but they did not fail to perceive that things with him were not altogether right; nor had Fanny failed to perceive that he had not once mentioned Florence's name since he had been at the rectory.
"Harry," she said, "there is nothing wrong between you and Florence?"
"Harry," she said, "there is nothing wrong between you and Florence?"
"Harry," she said, "there is nothing wrong between you and Florence?"
Click to ENLARGE
"Wrong! what should there be wrong? What do you mean by wrong?"
"I had a letter from her to-day and she asks where you are."
"Women expect such a lot of letter-writing! But I have been remiss45 I know. I got out of my business way of doing things when I came down here and have neglected it. Do you write to her to-morrow, and tell her that she shall hear from me directly I get back to town."
"But why should you not write to her from here?"
"Because I can get you to do it for me."
Fanny felt that this was not at all like a lover, and not at all like such a lover as her brother had been. While Florence had been at Clavering he had been most constant with his letters, and Fanny had often heard Florence boast of them as being perfect in their way. She did not say anything further at the present moment, but she knew that things were not altogether right. Things were by no means right. He had written neither to Lady Ongar nor to Florence, and the longer he put off the task the more burdensome did it become. He was now telling himself that he would write to neither till he got back to London.
On the day before he went, there came to him a letter from Stratton. Fanny was with him when he received it, and observed that he put it into his pocket without opening it. In his pocket he carried it unopened half the day, till he was ashamed of his own weakness. At last, almost in despair with himself, he broke the seal and forced himself to read it. There was nothing in it that need have alarmed him. It contained hardly a word that was intended for a rebuke38.
"I wonder why you should have been two whole weeks without writing," she said. "It seems so odd to me, because you have spoiled me by your customary goodness. I know that other men when they are engaged do not trouble themselves with constant letter-writing. Even Theodore, who according to Cecilia is perfect, would not write to her then very often; and now, when he is away, his letters are only three lines. I suppose you are teaching me not to be exacting46. If so, I will kiss the rod like a good child; but I feel it the more because the lesson has not come soon enough."
Then she went on in her usual strain, telling him of what she had done, what she had read, and what she had thought. There was no suspicion in her letter, no fear, no hint at jealousy. And she should have no further cause for jealousy! One of the two must be sacrificed, and it was most fitting that Julia should be the sacrifice. Julia should be sacrificed,—Julia and himself! But still he could not write to Florence till he had written to Julia. He could not bring himself to send soft, pretty, loving words to one woman while the other was still regarding him as her affianced lover.
"Was your letter from Florence this morning?" Fanny asked him.
"Yes; it was."
"Had she received mine?"
"I don't know. Of course she had. If you sent it by post of course she got it."
"She might have mentioned it, perhaps."
"I daresay she did. I don't remember."
"Well, Harry; you need not be cross with me because I love the girl who is going to be your wife. You would not like it if I did not care about her."
"I hate being called cross."
"Suppose I were to say that I hated your being cross. I'm sure I do;—and you are going away to-morrow, too. You have hardly said a nice word to me since you have been home."
Harry threw himself back into a chair almost in despair. He was not enough a hypocrite to say nice words when his heart within him was not at ease. He could not bring himself to pretend that things were pleasant.
"If you are in trouble, Harry, I will not go on teasing you."
"I am in trouble," he said.
"And cannot I help you?"
"No; you cannot help me. No one can help me. But do not ask any questions."
"Oh, Harry! is it about money?"
"No, no; it has nothing to do with money."
"You have not really quarrelled with Florence?"
"No; I have not quarrelled with her at all. But I will not answer more questions. And, Fanny, do not speak of this to my father or mother. It will be over before long, and then, if possible, I will tell you."
"Harry, you are not going to fight with Hugh?"
"Fight with Hugh! no. Not that I should mind it; but he is not fool enough for that. If he wanted fighting done, he would do it by deputy. But there is nothing of that kind."
She asked him no more questions, and on the next morning he returned to London. On his table he found a note which he at once knew to be from Lady Ongar, and which had come only that afternoon.
"Come to me at once;—at once." That was all that the note contained.
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1
harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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tormented
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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prying
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| adj.爱打听的v.打听，刺探（他人的私事）( pry的现在分词 )；撬开 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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shameful
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| adj.可耻的，不道德的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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scowled
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| 怒视，生气地皱眉( scowl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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humbug
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| n.花招，谎话，欺骗 | |
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specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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expediency
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| n.适宜；方便；合算；利己 | |
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unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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intimidated
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| v.恐吓；威胁adj.害怕的；受到威胁的 | |
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shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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calumniated
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| v.诽谤，中伤( calumniate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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traduced
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| v.诋毁( traduce的过去式和过去分词 )；诽谤；违反；背叛 | |
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impudence
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| n.厚颜无耻；冒失；无礼 | |
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retract
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| vt.缩回，撤回收回，取消 | |
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grooms
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| n.新郎( groom的名词复数 )；马夫v.照料或梳洗（马等）( groom的第三人称单数 )；使做好准备；训练；（给动物）擦洗 | |
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contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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rebuked
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| 责难或指责( rebuke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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conceited
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| adj.自负的，骄傲自满的 | |
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shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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45
remiss
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| adj.不小心的，马虎 | |
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exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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