In my youth I was wont10 to forecast various occupations for myself. Engine driver, tugboat captain, actor, statesman, and wild animal trainer—such were the visions with which I put myself to sleep. Never did the merry life of a manuscript reader swim into my ken11. But here I am, buried elbow deep in the literary output of a commercial democracy. My only excuse for setting down these paragraphs is the hope that other more worthy12 members of the ancient and honorable craft may be induced to speak out in meeting. In these days when every type of man is interviewed, his modes of thinking conned13 and commented upon, why not a symposium14 of manuscript readers? Also I realized the other day, while reading a manuscript by Harold Bell Wright, that my powers are failing. My old trouble is gaining on me, and I may not be long for this world. Before I go to face the greatest of all Rejection15 Slips, I want to utter my message without fear or favour.
As a class, publishers' readers are not vocal16. They spend their days and nights assiduously (in the literal sense) bent17 over mediocre stuff, poking18 and poring in the unending hope of finding something rich and strange. A gradual stultitia seizes them. They take to drink; they beat their wives; they despair of literature. Worst, and most preposterous19, they one and all nourish secret hopes of successful authorship. You might think that the interminable flow of turgid blockish fiction that passes beneath their weary eyes would justly sicken them of the abominable20 gymnastic of writing. But no: the venom21 is in the blood.
Great men have graced the job—and got out of it as soon as possible. George Meredith was a reader once; so was Frank Norris; also E.V. Lucas and Gilbert Chesterton. One of the latter's comments on a manuscript is still preserved. Writing of a novel by a lady who was the author of many unpublished stories, all marked by perseverance22 rather than talent, he said, "Age cannot wither23 nor custom stale her infinite lack of variety." But alas24, we hear too little of these gentlemen in their capacity as publishers' pursuivants. Patrolling the porches of literature, why did they not bequeath us some pandect of their experience, some rich garniture of commentary on the adventures that befell? But they, and younger men such as Coningsby Dawson and Sinclair Lewis, have gone on into the sunny hayfields of popular authorship and said nothing.
But these brilliant swallow-tailed migrants are not typical. Your true specimen25 of manuscript reader is the faithful old percheron who is content to go on, year after year, sorting over the literary pemmican that comes before him, inexhaustible in his love for the delicacies26 of good writing, happy if once or twice a twelve-month he chance upon some winged thing. He is not the pettifogging pilgarlic of popular conception: he is a devoted27 servant of letters, willing to take his thirty or forty dollars a week, willing to suffer the peine forte28 et dure of his profession in the knowledge of honest duty done, writing terse29 and marrowy30 little essays on manuscripts, which are buried in the publishers' files. This man is an honour to the profession, and I believe there are many such. Certainly there are many who sigh wistfully when they must lay aside some cherished writing of their own to devote an evening to illiterate31 twaddle. Five book manuscripts a day, thirty a week, close to fifteen hundred a year—that is a fair showing for the head reader of a large publishing house.
One can hardly blame him if he sometimes grow skeptic32 or acid about the profession of letters. Of each hundred manuscripts turned in there will rarely be more than three or four that merit any serious consideration; only about one in a hundred will be acceptable for publication. And the others—alas that human beings should have invented ink to steal away their brains! "Only a Lady Barber" is the title of a novel in manuscript which I read the other day. Written in the most atrocious dialect, it betrayed an ignorance of composition that would have been discreditable to a polyp. It described the experiences of a female tonsor somewhere in Idaho, and closed with her Machiavellian33 manoeuvres to entice34 into her shaving chair a man who had bilked her, so that she might slice his ear. No need to harrow you with more of the same kind. I read almost a score every week. Often I think of a poem which was submitted to me once, containing this immortal35 couplet:
A verse that had shone on the disc of the sun, had she chosen to set it there.
Let me beg you, my dears, leave the pen undamped unless your cerebral37 ooze really has something to impart. And then, once a year or so, when one is thinking that the hooves of Pegasus have turned into pigs' trotters, comes some Joseph Conrad, some Walter de la Mare38, some Rupert Brooke or Pearsall Smith, to restore one's sanity39.
Or else—what is indeed more frequent—the reader's fainting spirits are repaired not by the excellence40 of the manuscript before him, but by its absolute literary nonentity41, a kind of intellectual Absolute Zero. Lack of merit may be so complete, so grotesque42, that the composition affords to the sophistic eye a high order of comedy. A lady submits a poem in many cantos, beginning
Our heart is but a bundle of muscle
Another lady begins her novel with the following psychanalysis:
"Thus doth the ever-changing course of things run a perpetual circle." ... She read the phrase and then reflected, the cause being a continued prognostication, beginning and ending as it had done the day before, to-morrow and forever, maybe, of her own ailment44, a paradoxical malady45, being nothing more nor less than a pronounced case of malnutrition46 of the soul, a broken heart-cord, aggravated47 by a total collapse48 of that portion of the mentalities49 which had been bolstered50 up by undue51 pride, fallacious arguments, modern foibles and follies52 peculiar53 to the human species, both male and female, under favorable social conditions, found in provincial54 towns as well as in large cities and fashionable watering places.
But as a fitting anodyne55 to this regrettable case of soul malnutrition, let me append a description of a robuster female, taken verbatim from a manuscript (penned by masculine hand) which became a by-word in one publisher's office.
She was a beautiful young lady. She was a medium, sized, elegant figure, wearing a neatly-fitted travelling dress of black alpaca. Her raven-black hair, copious56 both in length and volume and figured like a deep river, rippled57 by the wind, was parted in the centre and combed smoothly58 down, ornamenting59 her pink temples with a flowing tracery that passed round to its modillion windings60 on a graceful61 crown. Her mouth was set with pearls adorned62 with elastic63 rubies64 and tuned65 with minstrel lays, while her nose gracefully66 concealed67 its own umbrage68, and her eyes imparted a radiant glow to the azure69 of the sky. Jewels of plain gold were about her ears and her tapering70 strawberry hands, and a golden chain, attached to a time-keeper of the same material, sparkled on an elegantly-rounded bosom71 that was destined72 to be pushed forward by sighs.
Let it not be thought that only the gracious sex can inspire such plenitude of meticulous73 portraiture74! Here is a description of the hero in a novel by a man which appeared on my desk recently:
For some time past there had been appearing at the home of Sarah Ellenton, a man not over fifty years of age, well groomed75 and of the appearances of being on good terms with prosperity in many phases. His complexion76 was reddish. His hazel eyes deepset and close together were small and shifting. His nose ran down to a point in many lines, and from the point back to where it joined above his lip, the course was seen to swerve77 slightly to one side. His upper lip assumed almost any form and at all times. His mouth ran across his face in a thin line, curved by waves according to the smiles and expressions he employed. Below those features was a chin of fine proportions, showing nothing to require study, but in his jaw78 hinges there was a device that worked splendidly, when he wished to show unction and charity, by sending out his chin on such occasions in the kindest advances one would wish to see.
It was not long before Sarah became Mrs. John R. Quinley.
I hear that the authors are going to unionize themselves and join the A.F. of L. The word "author" carries no sanctity with me: I have read too many of them. If their forming a trade union will better the output of American literature I am keen for it. I know that the professional reader has a jaundiced eye; insensibly he acquires a parallax which distorts his vision. Reading incessantly79, now fiction, now history, poetry, essays, philosophy, science, exegetics, and what not, he becomes a kind of pantechnicon of slovenly80 knowledge; a knower of thousands of things that aren't so. Every crank's whim81, every cretin's philosophy, is fired at him first of all. Every six months comes in the inevitable82 treatise83 on the fourth dimension or on making gold from sea-water, or on using moonlight to run dynamos, or on Pope Joan or Prester John. And with it all he must retain his simple-hearted faith in the great art of writing and in the beneficence of Gutenberg.
Manuscript readers need a trade union far worse than authors. There is all too little clannishness84 among us. We who are the helpless target for the slings85 and arrows of every writer who chooses to put pen on foolscap—might we not meet now and then for the humour of exchanging anecdotes86? No class of beings is more in need of the consolations87 of intercourse88. Perpend, brothers! Let us order a tierce of malmsey and talk it over! Perchance, too, a trade union among readers might be of substantial advantage. Is it not sad that a man should read manuscripts all the sweet years of his maturity89, and be paid forty dollars a week? Let us make sixty the minimum—or let there be a pogrom among the authors!
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1 dulcet | |
adj.悦耳的 | |
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2 severed | |
v.切断,断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 );断,裂 | |
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3 premature | |
adj.比预期时间早的;不成熟的,仓促的 | |
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4 cramp | |
n.痉挛;[pl.](腹)绞痛;vt.限制,束缚 | |
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5 mediocre | |
adj.平常的,普通的 | |
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6 incisive | |
adj.敏锐的,机敏的,锋利的,切入的 | |
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7 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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8 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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9 alteration | |
n.变更,改变;蚀变 | |
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10 wont | |
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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11 ken | |
n.视野,知识领域 | |
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12 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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13 conned | |
adj.被骗了v.指挥操舵( conn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14 symposium | |
n.讨论会,专题报告会;专题论文集 | |
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15 rejection | |
n.拒绝,被拒,抛弃,被弃 | |
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16 vocal | |
adj.直言不讳的;嗓音的;n.[pl.]声乐节目 | |
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17 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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18 poking | |
n. 刺,戳,袋 vt. 拨开,刺,戳 vi. 戳,刺,捅,搜索,伸出,行动散慢 | |
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19 preposterous | |
adj.荒谬的,可笑的 | |
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20 abominable | |
adj.可厌的,令人憎恶的 | |
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21 venom | |
n.毒液,恶毒,痛恨 | |
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22 perseverance | |
n.坚持不懈,不屈不挠 | |
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23 wither | |
vt.使凋谢,使衰退,(用眼神气势等)使畏缩;vi.枯萎,衰退,消亡 | |
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24 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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25 specimen | |
n.样本,标本 | |
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26 delicacies | |
n.棘手( delicacy的名词复数 );精致;精美的食物;周到 | |
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27 devoted | |
adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的 | |
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28 forte | |
n.长处,擅长;adj.(音乐)强音的 | |
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29 terse | |
adj.(说话,文笔)精炼的,简明的 | |
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30 marrowy | |
adj.多髓的,有力的 | |
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31 illiterate | |
adj.文盲的;无知的;n.文盲 | |
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32 skeptic | |
n.怀疑者,怀疑论者,无神论者 | |
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33 machiavellian | |
adj.权谋的,狡诈的 | |
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34 entice | |
v.诱骗,引诱,怂恿 | |
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35 immortal | |
adj.不朽的;永生的,不死的;神的 | |
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36 ooze | |
n.软泥,渗出物;vi.渗出,泄漏;vt.慢慢渗出,流露 | |
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37 cerebral | |
adj.脑的,大脑的;有智力的,理智型的 | |
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38 mare | |
n.母马,母驴 | |
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39 sanity | |
n.心智健全,神智正常,判断正确 | |
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40 excellence | |
n.优秀,杰出,(pl.)优点,美德 | |
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41 nonentity | |
n.无足轻重的人 | |
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42 grotesque | |
adj.怪诞的,丑陋的;n.怪诞的图案,怪人(物) | |
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43 tussle | |
n.&v.扭打,搏斗,争辩 | |
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44 ailment | |
n.疾病,小病 | |
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45 malady | |
n.病,疾病(通常做比喻) | |
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46 malnutrition | |
n.营养不良 | |
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47 aggravated | |
使恶化( aggravate的过去式和过去分词 ); 使更严重; 激怒; 使恼火 | |
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48 collapse | |
vi.累倒;昏倒;倒塌;塌陷 | |
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49 mentalities | |
n.心态( mentality的名词复数 );思想方法;智力;智能 | |
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50 bolstered | |
v.支持( bolster的过去式和过去分词 );支撑;给予必要的支持;援助 | |
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51 undue | |
adj.过分的;不适当的;未到期的 | |
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52 follies | |
罪恶,时事讽刺剧; 愚蠢,蠢笨,愚蠢的行为、思想或做法( folly的名词复数 ) | |
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53 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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54 provincial | |
adj.省的,地方的;n.外省人,乡下人 | |
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55 anodyne | |
n.解除痛苦的东西,止痛剂 | |
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56 copious | |
adj.丰富的,大量的 | |
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57 rippled | |
使泛起涟漪(ripple的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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58 smoothly | |
adv.平滑地,顺利地,流利地,流畅地 | |
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59 ornamenting | |
v.装饰,点缀,美化( ornament的现在分词 ) | |
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60 windings | |
(道路、河流等)蜿蜒的,弯曲的( winding的名词复数 ); 缠绕( wind的现在分词 ); 卷绕; 转动(把手) | |
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61 graceful | |
adj.优美的,优雅的;得体的 | |
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62 adorned | |
[计]被修饰的 | |
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63 elastic | |
n.橡皮圈,松紧带;adj.有弹性的;灵活的 | |
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64 rubies | |
红宝石( ruby的名词复数 ); 红宝石色,深红色 | |
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65 tuned | |
adj.调谐的,已调谐的v.调音( tune的过去式和过去分词 );调整;(给收音机、电视等)调谐;使协调 | |
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66 gracefully | |
ad.大大方方地;优美地 | |
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67 concealed | |
a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
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68 umbrage | |
n.不快;树荫 | |
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69 azure | |
adj.天蓝色的,蔚蓝色的 | |
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70 tapering | |
adj.尖端细的 | |
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71 bosom | |
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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72 destined | |
adj.命中注定的;(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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73 meticulous | |
adj.极其仔细的,一丝不苟的 | |
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74 portraiture | |
n.肖像画法 | |
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75 groomed | |
v.照料或梳洗(马等)( groom的过去式和过去分词 );使做好准备;训练;(给动物)擦洗 | |
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76 complexion | |
n.肤色;情况,局面;气质,性格 | |
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77 swerve | |
v.突然转向,背离;n.转向,弯曲,背离 | |
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78 jaw | |
n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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79 incessantly | |
ad.不停地 | |
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80 slovenly | |
adj.懒散的,不整齐的,邋遢的 | |
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81 whim | |
n.一时的兴致,突然的念头;奇想,幻想 | |
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82 inevitable | |
adj.不可避免的,必然发生的 | |
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83 treatise | |
n.专著;(专题)论文 | |
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84 clannishness | |
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85 slings | |
抛( sling的第三人称单数 ); 吊挂; 遣送; 押往 | |
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86 anecdotes | |
n.掌故,趣闻,轶事( anecdote的名词复数 ) | |
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87 consolations | |
n.安慰,慰问( consolation的名词复数 );起安慰作用的人(或事物) | |
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88 intercourse | |
n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
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89 maturity | |
n.成熟;完成;(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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