GOING TO HELL.

      (June, 1882.)

Editing a Freethought paper is a dreadful business. It brings one into contact with many half-baked people who have little patent recipes for hastening the millennium¹; with ambitious versifiers who think it a disgrace to journalism² that their productions are not instantly inserted; with discontented ladies and gentlemen who fancy that a heterodox paper is the proper vehicle for every species of complaint; and with a multitude of other bores too numerous to mention and too various to classify. But the worst of all are the anonymous³ bores, who send their insults, advice, or warnings, through the post for the benefit of the Queen's revenue. We generally pitch their puerile⁴ missives into the waste-paper basket; but occasionally we find one diverting enough to be introduced to our readers. A few days ago we received the following lugubrious⁵ epistle, ostensibly from a parson in Worcestershire, as the envelope bore the postmark of Tything.

"The fool hath said in his heart 'there is no God'—I have seen one of your blasphemous⁶ papers; and I say solemnly, as a clergyman of the Church of England, that I believe you are doing the work of the Devil, and are on the road to hell, and will spend eternity⁷ with the Devil, unless God, in his mercy, lead you, by the Holy Spirit, to repentance⁸. Nothing is impossible, with him. A Dean in the Church of England says, 'Be wise, and laugh not through a speck⁹ of time, and then wail¹⁰ through an immeasurable eternity.' Except you change your views you will most certainly hear Christ say, at the Judgment¹¹ Day, 'Depart ye cursed into everlasting¹² fire prepared for the Devil and his angels.' (Matt, xxv.)"

This is a tolerably warm, though not very elegant effusion, and it is really a pity that so grave a counsellor should conceal¹⁴ his name; for if it should lead to our conversion¹⁵, we should not know whom to thank for having turned us out of the primrose¹⁶ path to the everlasting bonfire. Our mentor¹⁷ assures us that with God nothing is impossible. We are sorry to learn this; for we must conclude that he does not take sufficient trouble with parsons to endow them with the courage of their convictions, or to make them observe the common decencies of epistolary intercourse¹⁸.

This anonymous parson, who acts like an Irish "Moonlighter," and masks his identity while venting¹⁹ his spleen, presumes to anticipate the Day of Judgment, and tells exactly what Jesus Christ will say to us on that occasion. We are obliged to him for the information, but we wonder how he obtained it. The twenty-fifth of Matthew, to which he refers us, contains not a word about unbelievers. It simply states that certain persons, who have treated the Son of Man very shabbily in his distress²⁰, shall be sent to keep company with Old Nick and his imps²¹. Now, we have never shown the Son of Man any incivility, much less any inhumanity, and we therefore repudiate²² this odious²³ insinuation. Whenever Jesus Christ sends us a message that he is sick, we will pay him a visit; if he is hungry, we will find him a dinner; if he is thirsty, we will stand whatever he likes to drink; if he is naked, we will hunt him up a clean shirt and an old suit; and if he is in prison, we will, according as he is innocent or guilty, try to procure²⁴ his release, or leave him to serve out his term. We should be much surprised if any parson in the three kingdoms would do any more Some of them, we believe, would see him condemned²⁵ (new version) before they would lift a finger or spend sixpence to-help him.

We are charged with doing the work of the Devil. This is indeed news. We never knew the Devil required any assistance. He was always very active and enterprising, and quite able to manage his own business. And although his rival, Jehovah, is so dotingly senile as to yield up everything to his mistress and her son, no one has ever whispered the least hint of the Devil's decline into the same abject²⁶ position. But if his Satanic Majesty²⁷ needed our aid we should not be loth to give it, for after carefully reading the Bible many times from beginning to end, we have come to the conclusion that he is about the only gentleman in it.

We are "on the road to hell." Well, if we must go somewhere, that is just the place we should choose. The temperature is high, and it would no doubt at first be incommodious. But, as old Sir Thomas Browne says, afflictions induce callosities, and in time we should get used to anything.

When once we grew accustomed to the heat, how thankful we should be at having escaped the dreary²⁸ insipidity²⁹ of heaven, with its perpetual psalms³⁰, its dolorous³¹ trumpets³², its gruesome elders, and its elderly beasts! How thankful at having missed an eternity with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, and all the many blackguards and scoundrels of the Bible! How thankful at having joined for ever the society of Rabelais, Bruno, Spinoza, Voltaire, Thomas Paine, John Stuart Mill, and all the great poets, sages³³ and wits, who possess so much of that carnal wisdom which is at enmity with the pious³⁴ folly³⁵ of babes and sucklings!

On the whole, we think it best to keep on our present course. Let the bigots rave¹³ and the parsons wail. They are deeply interested in the doctrine³⁶ of heaven and hell beyond the grave. We believe in heaven and hell on this side of it; a hell of ignorance, crime, and misery³⁷; a heaven of wisdom, virtue³⁸, and happiness. Our duty is to promote the one and combat the other. If there be a just God, the fulfilment of that duty will suffice; if God be unjust, all honest men will be in the same boat, and have the courage to despise and defy him.

 

1 millennium   

n.一千年，千禧年；太平盛世

参考例句：

• The whole world was counting down to the new millennium.全世界都在倒计时迎接新千年的到来。
• We waited as the clock ticked away the last few seconds of the old millennium.我们静候着时钟滴答走过千年的最后几秒钟。

2 journalism   

n.新闻工作，报业

参考例句：

• He's a teacher but he does some journalism on the side.他是教师，可还兼职做一些新闻工作。
• He had an aptitude for journalism.他有从事新闻工作的才能。

3 anonymous   

adj.无名的；匿名的；无特色的

参考例句：

• Sending anonymous letters is a cowardly act.寄匿名信是懦夫的行为。
• The author wishes to remain anonymous.作者希望姓名不公开。

4 puerile   

adj.幼稚的，儿童的

参考例句：

• The story is simple,even puerile.故事很简单，甚至有些幼稚。
• Concert organisers branded the group's actions as puerile.音乐会的组织者指称该乐队的行为愚蠢幼稚。

5 lugubrious   

adj.悲哀的，忧郁的

参考例句：

• That long,lugubrious howl rose on the night air again!夜空中又传来了那又长又凄凉的狗叫声。
• After the earthquake,the city is full of lugubrious faces.地震之后，这个城市满是悲哀的面孔。

6 blasphemous   

adj.亵渎神明的，不敬神的

参考例句：

• The book was declared blasphemous and all copies ordered to be burnt.这本书被断定为亵渎神明之作，命令全数焚毀。
• The people in the room were shocked by his blasphemous language.满屋的人都对他那侮慢的语言感到愤慨。

7 eternity   

n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷

参考例句：

• The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。
• Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞，永世相随。

8 repentance   

n.懊悔

参考例句：

• He shows no repentance for what he has done.他对他的所作所为一点也不懊悔。
• Christ is inviting sinners to repentance.基督正在敦请有罪的人悔悟。

9 speck   

n.微粒，小污点，小斑点

参考例句：

• I have not a speck of interest in it.我对它没有任何兴趣。
• The sky is clear and bright without a speck of cloud.天空晴朗，一星星云彩也没有。

10 wail   

vt./vi.大声哀号，恸哭；呼啸，尖啸

参考例句：

• Somewhere in the audience an old woman's voice began plaintive wail.观众席里，一位老太太伤心地哭起来。
• One of the small children began to wail with terror.小孩中的一个吓得大哭起来。

11 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

12 everlasting   

adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的

参考例句：

• These tyres are advertised as being everlasting.广告上说轮胎持久耐用。
• He believes in everlasting life after death.他相信死后有不朽的生命。

13 rave   

vi.胡言乱语；热衷谈论；n.热情赞扬

参考例句：

• The drunkard began to rave again.这酒鬼又开始胡言乱语了。
• Now I understand why readers rave about this book.我现明白读者为何对这本书赞不绝口了。

14 conceal   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽

参考例句：

• He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方，他只好隐瞒身份。
• He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。

15 conversion   

n.转化，转换，转变

参考例句：

• He underwent quite a conversion.他彻底变了。
• Waste conversion is a part of the production process.废物处理是生产过程的一个组成部分。

16 primrose   

n.樱草，最佳部分，

参考例句：

• She is in the primrose of her life.她正处在她一生的最盛期。
• The primrose is set off by its nest of green.一窝绿叶衬托着一朵樱草花。

17 mentor   

n.指导者，良师益友；v.指导

参考例句：

• He fed on the great ideas of his mentor.他以他导师的伟大思想为支撑。
• He had mentored scores of younger doctors.他指导过许多更年轻的医生。

18 intercourse   

n.性交；交流，交往，交际

参考例句：

• The magazine becomes a cultural medium of intercourse between the two peoples.该杂志成为两民族间文化交流的媒介。
• There was close intercourse between them.他们过往很密。

19 venting   

消除； 泄去； 排去； 通风

参考例句：

• But, unexpectedly, he started venting his spleen on her. 哪知道，老头子说着说着绕到她身上来。 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子
• So now he's venting his anger on me. 哦，我这才知道原来还是怄我的气。

20 distress   

n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛

参考例句：

• Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
• Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。

21 imps   

n.（故事中的）小恶魔( imp的名词复数 )；小魔鬼；小淘气；顽童

参考例句：

• Those imps are brewing mischief. 那些小淘气们正在打坏主意。 来自辞典例句
• No marvel if the imps follow when the devil goes before. 魔鬼带头，难怪小鬼纷纷跟随。 来自互联网

22 repudiate   

v.拒绝，拒付，拒绝履行

参考例句：

• He will indignantly repudiate the suggestion.他会气愤地拒绝接受这一意见。
• He repudiate all debts incurred by his son.他拒绝偿还他儿子的一切债务。

23 odious   

adj.可憎的，讨厌的

参考例句：

• The judge described the crime as odious.法官称这一罪行令人发指。
• His character could best be described as odious.他的人格用可憎来形容最贴切。

24 procure   

vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条

参考例句：

• Can you procure some specimens for me?你能替我弄到一些标本吗？
• I'll try my best to procure you that original French novel.我将尽全力给你搞到那本原版法国小说。

25 condemned   

adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• He condemned the hypocrisy of those politicians who do one thing and say another. 他谴责了那些说一套做一套的政客的虚伪。
• The policy has been condemned as a regressive step. 这项政策被认为是一种倒退而受到谴责。

26 abject   

adj.极可怜的，卑屈的

参考例句：

• This policy has turned out to be an abject failure.这一政策最后以惨败而告终。
• He had been obliged to offer an abject apology to Mr.Alleyne for his impertinence.他不得不低声下气，为他的无礼举动向艾莱恩先生请罪。

27 majesty   

n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权

参考例句：

• The king had unspeakable majesty.国王有无法形容的威严。
• Your Majesty must make up your mind quickly!尊贵的陛下，您必须赶快做出决定！

28 dreary   

adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的

参考例句：

• They live such dreary lives.他们的生活如此乏味。
• She was tired of hearing the same dreary tale of drunkenness and violence.她听够了那些关于酗酒和暴力的乏味故事。

29 insipidity   

n.枯燥无味，清淡，无精神；无生气状

参考例句：

• The insipidity of the meeting was exactly such as Elinor had expected. 聚会的枯燥无味恰如埃莉诺预料的。 来自辞典例句
• The English of the lieutenant general is very eccentric, empty insipidity, interpreter official leisurely, below drowsy. 中将的英语十分古怪，空洞无味，翻译官慢条斯理，下面昏昏欲睡。 来自互联网

30 psalms   

n.赞美诗( psalm的名词复数 )；圣诗；圣歌；(中的)

参考例句：

• the Book of Psalms 《〈圣经〉诗篇》
• A verse from Psalms knifed into Pug's mind: "put not your trust in princes." 《诗篇》里有一句话闪过帕格的脑海：“不要相信王侯。” 来自辞典例句

31 dolorous   

adj.悲伤的；忧愁的

参考例句：

• With a broken-hearted smile,he lifted a pair of dolorous eyes.带著伤心的微笑，他抬起了一双痛苦的眼睛。
• Perhaps love is a dolorous fairy tale.也许爱情是一部忧伤的童话。

32 trumpets   

喇叭( trumpet的名词复数 )； 小号； 喇叭形物； （尤指）绽开的水仙花

参考例句：

• A wreath was laid on the monument to a fanfare of trumpets. 在响亮的号角声中花圈被献在纪念碑前。
• A fanfare of trumpets heralded the arrival of the King. 嘹亮的小号声宣告了国王驾到。

33 sages   

n.圣人( sage的名词复数 )；智者；哲人；鼠尾草（可用作调料）

参考例句：

• Homage was paid to the great sages buried in the city. 向安葬在此城市的圣哲们表示敬意。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Confucius is considered the greatest of the ancient Chinese sages. 孔子被认为是古代中国最伟大的圣人。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

34 pious   

adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的

参考例句：

• Alexander is a pious follower of the faith.亚历山大是个虔诚的信徒。
• Her mother was a pious Christian.她母亲是一个虔诚的基督教徒。

35 folly   

n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话

参考例句：

• Learn wisdom by the folly of others.从别人的愚蠢行动中学到智慧。
• Events proved the folly of such calculations.事情的进展证明了这种估计是愚蠢的。

36 doctrine   

n.教义；主义；学说

参考例句：

• He was impelled to proclaim his doctrine.他不得不宣扬他的教义。
• The council met to consider changes to doctrine.宗教议会开会考虑更改教义。

37 misery   

n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦

参考例句：

• Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
• He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。

38 virtue   

n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力

参考例句：

• He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
• You need to decorate your mind with virtue.你应该用德行美化心灵。